Blackwatch's Finest: A Spinoff Story
by Can't think uva user
Summary: Spinoff tale from the original story, Deadlocked. Follow Nathan, during his time in Blackwatch, where he is reunited with his best friend, Jesse McCree. Over time, Nathan befriends his fellow agents, discovers repressed feelings and memories from his dark past in Deadlock, and starts to fall in love with Dr. Ziegler, all while working for Blackwatch, Overwatch's covert operations.
1. Chapter 1

**Oh yeah! It's time for yet another story of mine to kick off. This is always the most exciting part of writing! And this time, I've got something new in mind. I usually have a plot and complete storyline in mind when I start writing, but this is gonna be different. Of course the chapters will relatively have to do with one another but you'll get what I mean as the chapters roll out.**

 **This is a spin off story of Deadlocked. If you haven't read that first, I recommend doing so before reading this one. It'll be much more enjoyable that way in my opinion. This is all about Nathan and his time in Blackwatch. Of course there were a few chapters in the original story about this but I don't think I went into as much depth as I could've. Admittedly, the first few chapters were rushed. I didn't really use the plot line to its full potential. I did that because I wanted it to be more about after the fall of Overwatch, and I'm sort of glad I did now. Because now I can have fun with this time in the story, and let loose.**

 **The story is going to be much more lighthearted than the story it came from, and will be about Nathan and his time with Blackwatch and his friends. It adds more depth to his character and his connections with those around him. Although the story will have its angsty moments. Some of them will hit you in the feels. But that's exactly what I love doing in my writing. I love this kind of stuff and I want to just have fun with the story. I've always liked being entertaining rather than serious and action oriented. So it'll have a good bit of comedy and friendship.**

 **I also want to thank everyone who was along for the roller coaster that was Deadlocked. I had a great time writing it, and I hope you all loved reading it. The support I got from it was absolutely astonishing! And once again, if you haven't read it, I encourage you to do so. Or not, I mean it's not perfect.**

 **Well I guess I better get going, and let you read the actual story. I hope you all enjoy, and thank you for reading!**

Chapter 1: Ballroom Blitz

"I feel naked without my hat."

I let loose a long and exasperated sigh, gaining the attention of my now annoyed partner, Gabriel Reyes. He sighed as well, folding his arms, his eyes staring daggers at me from underneath his hood. "It'll do you some good to get away from that hat. You and McCree look stupid." He grimaced, showing his pearly white teeth. I rolled my eyes, as he fixed the collar of the tuxedo I wore. "Aww cut me some slack boss, I'm a delinquent. Let me indulge in my own fashionable choices." I mocked him, as I heard another sigh come from behind me, and I turned my neck as far as the tight collar on the tuxedo would tolerate without choking me, finding Genji behind me, his red eyes meeting my blue hues.

"Fine, guess I'm the only one with a sense o' humor." I said, mostly speaking to myself, reminding myself that fact. The cyborg muttered something I couldn't make out, as I straightened the bow tie constricting my neck. He walked away, his patience clearly growing thin. No matter what I said, he always hated me a bit. Sometimes I'd crack a joke and he'd laugh, but never once would he try and have a good time with me. He was always training away, perfecting his skills. Then again, his past wasn't something that would leave much of a resemblance of a sense of humor.

I turned back to Reyes, as he sat down in the seat beside me. We were heading down to our destination, some sort of ball thrown by the richest and most powerful people around. I gritted my teeth a bit, never liking those kinds of gatherings. Always full of snobby, self centered people. Always looking down on the likes of me. Although, admittedly, most people did. I wasn't the greatest of role models.

Coming straight from the infamous Deadlock Gang, I had quite the reputation. I was one of the greatest shots Blackwatch had ever seen, along with Jesse, my best friend who came from the same place. We usually spend our time off together, just screwing around. Too bad he wasn't gonna be my partner on this one. It was a solo mission. I hated solo missions. Lonely, no one to talk too. My mouth would have a hard time staying shut most of the time.

Reyes, my commander, was always a hard ass, taking shit from no one. Not that I would be one to give him anything but a bit of sass, nothing more. I had a bit of a friendship with him. We'd come to know each other over the time I'd been here. Most of the bonding was through missions, where we formed a trust. I liked him. Although he rarely smiled, had rather sadistic tendencies, and had broken four of my bones in my first few weeks with him, I enjoyed him.

"So boss, what all do I gotta do?" I asked, and he looked up at me, his eyes as serious as ever. "You'll be capturing a target for interrogation. He's been a target on our list for months, and now is an opportune time to take him out discreetly." He explained, and I raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah!" I said, snapping my fingers as I remembered the whole briefing on the mission. "Sorry, I fell asleep during that. Captain Amari kept me up all night when we had that firing competition. Close match I really want-"

"You're off track. Focus. This is an important mission. Don't draw any unnecessary attention to yourself, and find the target. He should be reserved in his own quarters at the top of the building. How you handle this is up to you. Just don't fuck up." He advised, and I smirked. "When do I ever boss?"

A sudden stop made me stumble a bit, as I balanced myself out. "That'd be your stop. Genji will accompany you, and be watching your back in case any trouble happens. Keep me updated on your progress." He added, as the hatch in the aircraft opened, as a cool night breeze brushed against the expensive tuxedo. I slicked back my hair once more, stepping off into the night, the ball a good distance away, as I could tell by the bright flashing lights and abundance of expensive cars.

I turned to Gabriel with a look of confusion, as he stood behind me. "Uh boss, why did you land me so far away. It's like a mile away." I inquired, as he only grinned, clearly satisfied with knowing I'd have to walk all the way there and back. Carrying the target all the way back here would be fun. Totally not dangerous or exhausting.

A sigh escaped me, as I ran a hair through my long and now greased up hair. Damn I missed my hat. It was a gift I got from Jesse McCree, my best friend. He got us both those hats after we passed our initiations into Deadlock. I've kept good care of it ever since. It was basically a part of me. A reminder of what I am, and what I'm not. A bandit.

But a god damn handsome bandit for sure.

I walked down the road to the ball, as I could make out the silhouette of Genji on the rooftops, maneuvering over the building with ease. I was jealous of him in a way, but I kept my eyes forward, focusing on the mission. Let's hope this'll be quick.

Soon enough I arrived outside the doors, multiple bouncers and guards surrounding the place. The only entryway I could take was the front door, to not attract suspicion. I fixed my bow tie, handing the bouncer my ticket in, which was undoubtedly taken off of someone who was actually invited. Blackwatch had its ways. And mostly through sheer force and in some cases bribery or murder. Either way we got what we needed. We were here to do the dirty work that came along with Overwatch. And I wasn't above being a janitor to clean up these messes left behind by Overwatch. Although it did get irritating when they took all the credit for our work.

I cleared my head of the distractions, as I entered the ball. And a wave of people and noises and fantastic scents hit me. The smells were either from the overpriced food, or the overpriced cologne and perfumes. It was a welcome change from the smell of blood and sweat that usually filled my nostrils. But this suit would likely be bloodied by this mission if things went wrong. I was used to arriving in a blood stained outfit. Then I'd either drink with friends like Jesse, practice with Ana Amari or Gabriel, or I'd spend time with the woman I'd admittedly fallen for.

Angela Ziegler. The Angel of Overwatch. The most respected and hard working woman I'd ever met. And for good reason. She'd saved countless lives through her medical care or studies, and saved my life on numerous occasions. So who could really blame me for idiotically starting to love her?

She was perfect. A beauty to behold. Everything a man like me could ever dream of having. But of course, she was married to her work, and getting her mind on other things was a difficult task. But when I did succeed in getting some of her time, it was worth it. We were close, probably friends in her book. I wanted more, I'll admit, but I respect her wishes. She was kind to me, and knows me well. I trusted her the moment I met her. Ever since I-

"Nathan! What are you doing?" I was snapped from my train of thought, as I heard Genji in my comms device in my ear. "W-what? I'm fine." I stuttered, as he sighed. "You stood there for a moment, clearly contemplating something. Are you alright?" He asked, and I laughed, gently pushing through the crowds. "Awww, you do care." I teased, and he scoffed. "Just get to work." He ordered, and I chuckled again, making my way up a flight of stairs.

I had more crowds to go through, full of rich and powerful men and women, and even a few omnics. They all wore these outrageous dresses and shirts and pants, all flaunting feathers and fluff I would never understand. Probably made from the finest silks, costing a fortune. My eyes fell upon paradise though. A bar.

I quickly lurked my way over there, pouring myself the finest glass of whiskey I'd ever seen. It was some sort of German drink or something. I shrugged, downing it quickly, feeling the liquid burn my throat. I let out a satisfied sigh, pouring another glass, and downing it just as quick. Then I poured another, and moved quickly away from it before I got carried away. "A pity these fancy glasses are so small." I muttered, walking up another set of stairs. Only two more to go.

I arrived at the top floor, which was all but one hallway, leading to a single room. Most likely the man I was looking for was located inside. I downed the rest of the drink, feeling its effects a bit, as I shook my head, clearing my vision. "Ah that shit hits hard." I groaned, stumbling purposely to get the attention of the two guards at the door.

They soon leaned over me, as one reached a hand out. "Sir, you okay?" He asked, as I let him pull me up. I smiled, before slamming the empty glass into the man's face, as he groaned. Before he could shout, I pulled him by the shirt back to me, head butting him hard. I held my aching head, as the other man charged me. I ducked, using his momentum against him, gripping his arm and slamming him into the floor. I heard his arm snap, as I winced a bit at it. "Ooh, sorry there. Didn't mean to go that hard." I muttered, before knocking him out.

I held my head in pain, grunting. "Ah nobody ever wins a head butt." I scolded myself, moving forward. I stood outside the door, knocking on it. "Come in." I heard. I opened the door, shutting it behind me. The man stepped out of his own personal bathroom, his blonde hair still wet from the shower. His red suit was as sharp as his eyes, and they stared daggers at me and he soon accessed the situation, reacting quickly.

I was faster though. My hand snapped to my gun, and I drew it, aiming it right at him. "Tsk tsk tsk." I waved my finger at him. "We don't want them finding out I'm here do we?" I smiled, as he gulped nervously. "Now take your finger off the button under your desk. I don't want you alerting everyone. After all, I'm not here to kill you."

"You're not?" He asked, and I nodded, smiling. He then pushed the button under his desk, as alarms sounded all over the building, alerting everyone. "Oh you sly bastard." I muttered, chasing after him into the hallways. He was faster than I anticipated.

"What the hell is going on?!" Reyes demanded. I chuckled nervously, scratching the back of my head as I ran after him, pushing through multiple confused women, still trying to digest the situation. "I've got it under control!" I said, firing a shot at his leg, missing. "I'd hate to see it out of control." Genji said, and I growled, tackling a guard that stood between me and the target.

I quickly punched him, his blood staining the white floor below us. A few more punches and he was out. I looked up, as my eyes met my target's own eyes, as I smirked at the fear in them. I stood, about the run after him, before I felt strong hands grip my neck, slamming me into the wall behind me.

I strained, trying to smack his arms back down, but he was too strong. I saw a shuriken graze his cheek, as he fell back, placing a hand over his now bloody cheek. I took the chance to whip out my pistol, firing it into his stomach, as he fell to the floor quickly. "You're welcome." I heard Genji mock me.

"I had him." I grunted, the choking not helping my already tight tuxedo. At least it wasn't bloody. It could be useful later.

Before I could react, I felt a heavy weight smack into the side of me, a large burly man's arms wrapping around my waist as he tackled me. We crashed through the staircase, falling multiple feet to the second floor, and I met it with a loud thud. I gasped for air, the wind knocked out of me, but I felt a leg shoot up, catching me in the ribs as I struggled to stand once more. I rolled back, fumbling with my gun mid roll and firing a round right between his eyes. His skull hit the floor with a sickening splat and crunch.

People tried blocking my way, but I fired a shot up into the air, not hesitating to scare them away. "Don't try and be a hero!" I shouted, then placing my gun back in my holster. They all looked at me with a sudden disgust and horror I was used to recognizing on people's faces. But that's what came with working with Blackwatch and having a past like me. No one ever gave you much respect unless you had a gun. Good thing I was always armed.

Quickly sprinting after the man, pushing past another guard with ease. Man these guys were really just an inconvenience rather than an actual threat. I scanned the room, finding the man stumbling away through the crowds, tripping on his way out the door in such a hurry.

I growled as two guards aimed pistols at me, as they blocked my route to him. I quickly leaned over the railing overlooking the bottom floor, and not thinking about how it could go wrong. I found myself thinking that a lot. Especially when it came to a mission. A quick leap and I was already gone, descending into the crowd before disappearing behind the front door the man escaped from.

"God damnit Parker what is going on?!" I heard an all too familiar enraged voice coming from the comms device, as I couldn't help but smirk. "Ya know me boss. I was never one to follow a plan very often."

"I swear kid one day that attitude is gonna get you killed." He muttered, and I laughed.

"Good thing it's not happening today then."

I turned a sharp corner, leading to an alleyway. "Oooh terrible move man." I said, loudly and distinctly, so he could make it out. "I was born and raised in alleyways." I grinned, hearing the beating of his own heart, as it began to quicken to an unhealthy pace. And I knew, as soon as I heard the fast pitter patter of dress shoes on hard cement, I had him.

Extending my arm out to my right, I clotheslined him as he ran right into it, my arm not budging in the slightest. I heard him groan in pain as he flipped onto the floor in a sudden crash of metal trash cans and paper. "Now where did ya think you were goin'?" I asked, grabbing him by the collar of his neck, bringing him close to my face. He almost looked like he was gonna cry.

His hair was an absolute mess of blonde strands and dust, his cheek already swelling from the hit. I, on the other hand, besides a few scrapes and scratches on the lining of the suit I sported, was in the same condition I arrived in, perfect slick style, not a hair out of place, and a clean, well shaven appearance. If not for my actions and history, I could've passed for respectable businessman. But why in the hell would I want that? Working all day, slaving away to some papers and documents I had no interest in? That's not the life for me.

Not for Nathan Parker, professional pick pocket, robber, sharpshooter, murderer, gunslinger, and assassin. I chose this life. And I damn well fit the shoes required for it.

I could make out the figure of Genji to my left, at the entrance of the alleyway, his silhouette unmistakable. I smiled, showing the man I had in my hands like some cherished prize I won. Like a catch I got on a hunt.

"I told you, under control." I grinned happily, before turning to the man, knocking him out with a quick slam against the hard brick wall behind him. He fell limp in my arms, the weight becoming substantially heavier.

Genji took him in his own arms, lifting him with ease. "We better get him back to Reyes. He's gonna have fun when he wakes up." Genji chuckled a bit, and I snickered at the dark sense of humor he still had attached to him. Like a thread barely hanging on, but still intact. That was what mattered.

"That he is. That he is."

Later, nighttime back at Gibraltar Headquarters...

My feet swung in the cool breeze back and forth like an eager child, as I scooped the soft and cold cream with my spoon into my mouth. I savored the taste, not having had ice cream since I was kid. Back when Jesse and I would grab some of it on our way back from shootouts with other local gang members. Those were the days. An overwhelming sense of nostalgia rushed through me, as I grinned from ear to ear, taking another bite of the ice cream. I sat atop a rooftop, looking at the night sky, taking in the beautiful sights that came with working here at the base.

"You know, this was not what I expected when you said 'something that required my full attention'." I heard the thick Swiss accent come from the one and only Angela Ziegler, who sat to my left, her lab coat still draped upon her shoulders like a gown, her glasses placed in her coat pocket. Her hair was up in a tight pony tail as usual, preventing it from getting in the way of her work. It was odd, the difference in apparel as I still sported the tuxedo from the mission before. I knew it would come in handy somehow. But I had found my hat quickly when I got back, so I felt more comfortable.

"Aww come on, it's ice cream! Who doesn't like ice cream?" I asked, and she smiled. "I never said I didn't enjoy it. Just expected something, fancy from you. You always have been a shameless flirt." She teased, and I blushed slightly, and failing miserably at masking it. "Guilty as charged. Ya can't blame a man for trying to have some ice cream while enjoying a beautiful view..."

"And a beautiful girl." I finished, as now it was her turn to blush. "Really, on a serious note, you don't expect me to have something fancy now do ya? I mean, it's me we're talking about here." I quickly added, to make sure this didn't get too awkward. She laughed, placing a hand on my shoulder. I relished the touch, my eyes snapping to hers. "I believe you are full of surprises, Nate."

"You'd be right." I said, taking another bite of ice cream. "Oh? How so?" She asked, enticing me to tell her. I sighed. "Well, for starters, Jesse and I would do karaoke sometimes. At least when we were horribly drunk." I grinned, reminiscing of all the times we did so. Too many times to count. "Really? I'd love for you to sing me a song!" She exclaimed. "No, you really wouldn't." I replied, placing my hat down beside me for a moment, running a shaky hand through my hair. That had become a nervous habit over the years.

I was surprised when I felt her hand brush against my face, as she tucked a strand of brown tuff behind my ear. Her hands were warm and gentle, despite the cold weather. Her hand was small in mine, as they brushed up against each other for a moment, and I smiled at her. "Flirting with me, Angie?" I smirked, a harmless quip. She almost seemed caught off guard by that, her cheeks flushed as she seemed to stumble over her words. "Simply making sure a Blackwatch member looks his best." She responded.

"Don't I always?" I joked, as we shared a nice, friendly laugh. I couldn't help but get this overwhelming feeling in the pit of my stomach, that rose up to my chest, nearly bursting out. My heartbeat was quick, my hands, for the first time, shaky. I always had steady hands. That's what kept me alive, made me so good with a gun. This was something I didn't like. So why did it feel so good? Why did I crave this feeling?

I directed my gaze below me, looking at the lights illuminating from inside the building. I could make out the vibrations and slight noise of the music inside, as some Overwatch members were celebrating something down there. My memory failed me as to why the celebration was even occurring. Their laughter echoed through the night sky, as I took another bite of ice cream, enjoying the last few tastes of it I could have.

"You didn't go either huh?" I muttered, as she sighed. "Not really my kind of place to be. Too loud. How about you?" She said, and I frowned. "Huh?"

"Why didn't you go? You were invited by Captain Amari herself, and her daughter. Surprisingly enough, you have not attended it. How come?" She asked once more. I shrugged. "Eh I never really liked those things. Always weird, made me feel out of place. Especially since I couldn't dance. Made it real awkward when everyone was supposed to dance."

She gasped, exaggerating her supposed shock. "You, the most flirtatious man I've ever met, don't know how to dance?" She asked, grinning a bit, as she leaned in, our shoulders touching. "I-I never learned how. Believe it or not they don't concern themselves with parties back in Deadlock." I replied, and she stood up. Angela reached a hand out, and I took it, as she pulled me up. I stared at her in curiosity.

I nearly yelped like a frightened dog when she took my hand in hers, bringing it up, grabbing the other one, guiding it to her waist. "W-what are you doing?" I stuttered, as she chuckled. "Teaching you how to dance. If you are to impress a lady, you might want to know how to dance." She smiled. "I-I don't think y-you should dance with me." I responded nervously. "Why not?" She inquired. I opened my mouth to answer that question, but quickly shut it. Why was I even resisting dancing with a woman I loved?

"So, we have this down. One hand on my waist, the other in my hand. My hand rests on the frame of your back." She said, speaking to herself, reciting the steps. I pulled her closer, figuring maybe that was the next step. She gasped a bit, surprised by the sudden movement. She stared up at me for a moment, as I grinned. "Well, then I suppose we just sway with the wind?" I guessed, and she giggled. "Yes, but in other dances, you can add other things." She informed me.

"Ah." I muttered, as I twirled her by the hand she had latched on to mine. "Like that?" I smiled, as she laughed. "You're a natural."

One of her feet went forward, so mine in turn went backwards. It was like we were one. I couldn't quite explain the excitement and joy I felt. I laughed a bit. "Is this the part where I kiss the beautiful girl?" I flirted once more, and she blushed. I felt a shoe stomp into my toe in response. "Gah! Okay okay! Jeez." I yelled in response, as she giggled. "That's for making me blush."

We spent what seemed like forever in each other's arms, going over multiple moves and twirls and spins. Even claps and certain hops in it. We almost seemed like we'd been training for months. I found myself enjoying this, laughing most of the time, as she kept me warm, amidst the cold wind.

I twirled her once more, pulling her close to me, as I felt her lean against me, her eyes meeting mine in a gaze I'd never seen before. Her hand laying upon my chest, her other hand resting on my cheek, as she kept her eyes locked with mine for what seemed like an hour. A mischievous grin met my lips, and before she could react, I placed a leg behind hers, pushing, as I held her in my arms, dipping her. She was in shock at first, before the same grin I wore was on her face as well. Our lips were nearly touching, and I could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

I leaned back up, pulling her with me, as she giggled. "Easy there cowboy, you may actually charm me." She teased, as I scoffed. "Isn't that the point?" I chuckled, my hand resting on her waist. She raised a suggestive eyebrow, before rolling her eyes.

For a moment, we stopped, as she leaned into me. She rested both hands on my chest, and she lay her head in the crook of my neck. I could feel her breath against the back of my spine. "Be careful, Nathan." She said, and I frowned, taken aback by her sudden serious tone and thoughtful words. I tried to laugh it off. "Aren't I always? Angie you know me." I replied, as she leaned back, her eyes meeting mine.

"Yes, I do. And I know you don't exactly take care of yourself on the battlefield. So, do your doctor, and more importantly, friend, a favor, and be careful." She advised. Before I could respond, or open my mouth to retort, she pulled me close by the collar of my tuxedo and kissed my cheek.

A quick and bright blush coated the area her lips touched, but luckily she was leaning into me once more, her head nuzzling up into my neck and she couldn't see how flustered she made me at that very moment. Maybe this was something to come back to, besides some friends and the promise of redemption for making the world a better place than it once was? Holding her in my arms, as we slowly swayed, simply taking in everything. Nothing could motivate me more, to come back in one piece.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's another chapter since I can't get my mind off writing this for more than 10 minutes. I've had this idea for a while, and thought it might be pretty funny and enjoyable for you guys to read! And yes before you read, it was inspired by the song, The Devil Went Down to Georgia.**

Chapter 2: The Devil Went Down to Blackwatch

Another day, another seemingly endless amount of work, training, and labor to get done here at Blackwatch. I had gotten used to the rigorous exercise and practice, which admittedly took a while. In the Deadlock Gang, it was usually boring. Besides some shootouts with authorities and local gangs, it mostly consisted of making sure everything was in order for the trading. Weapons dealing was how we got most of our money, and eventually such a big target over our heads. One thing led to another, and in the end I ended up here, recognized for my skills with a gun, and given a choice; work for Blackwatch, or rot in a prison cell the rest of my life. I have no regrets about my decision in the slightest.

I trained my sights on Lena, as she leapt into the air, and blinking behind me in a bright flash. I was trying to find a pattern in her movements, as she jumped all around me, her pulse pistols weakened for this training exercise to prevent injuries and... ya know, death. The revolver I carried, which was not my normal one mind you, else I would be having a fit with anyone tinkering with my baby, was weaker as well, but it would still pack a punch.

Sweat dripped down the sides of my face, as we'd been practicing for hours. My fingers around my revolver twitched, as I watched Lena closely. Before she could even comprehend what happened, she was knocked to the ground by my revolver, as she slid across it. With one roll, and a blue flash, she was right back to where she once was, firing at me again. "Awww no fair! You cheated!" I exclaimed, as she laughed, blinking beside me, her hair as wild as it usually was, and her grin as contagious as ever. "Not cheating really, I was merely using the advantages of my chronal accelerator." She giggled, tapping the blue circle on her chest, with had a faint hum to it.

I remember asking her about how she got that thing. She explained she got it in an accident that occurred in the slipstream, which was an experimental plane that was supposed to have the ability to send you teleporting around. Something malfunctioned, and she was sent back in time. Not even time really from how she described it. More like a ghost, not able to interact with anything in the world. No one could even hear her. That was until Winston, the gorilla scientist who could talk, yes that's right, invented the chronal accelerator, which anchors her in the present, and allows her to blink around the battlefield at high speeds. Although she tried to hide behind a smile and faint laugh, I could tell there was pain and emotional trauma deep down. I was good at recognizing it. But that was only because I did it myself. And I still do.

"Whatever Lena. Anyways I think we could use a break." I sighed, and she smirked. "I think that's the best thing I've heard all day." She said, falling straight into the metallic chair beside us. She winced. "Oh these really aren't comfortable." I took a seat beside her, smiling at her. "Well down here we don't care about comfort. You've been around Overwatch so much I think you've gotten used to the soft beds and chairs." I teased, thinking about the week she's spent with us training. Apparently some doctors wanted to test the chronal accelerator and how far it's limits were. I was getting a feeling she was at her wits end with all the work. When she wasn't training with Reyes and other people in Blackwatch for hand to hand combat, she was with Jesse and I, training on her weapon accuracy, which needed some work.

"Lena, are you okay?" I heard Winston say through the intercom, which echoed through the training facility. "I'm fine luv! Just taking a break is all!" She assured him, and I grinned. "Aww Winston don't ya trust me? She's in good hands!" I added, and I heard a faint snicker come from him. "Of course. Agent Parker and Agent Oxton, as you were." With that, and a beep, the intercom stopped, leaving us to each other. I adjusted my hat, tipping it down a bit.

I looked up, my eyes landing on the windows that held multiple scientists and doctors exchanging comments as they examined us. Or more Lena rather than me. Among them was Winston, and Angela, who seemed preoccupied with something on her clipboard, as she was writing vigorously. I couldn't help but stare, just watching as she did her work. I was never one to watch people closely, let alone stare, since I learned looking at people for too long got them anxious. And in Deadlock, everyone around you was anxious, ready for a fight.

But this was different. I didn't look to make my opponent nervous or make them uncomfortable. I didn't do it just to annoy them. I just...did it. Not really much of a reason as to why I was looking at her. "Be careful Nathan." I heard her say in my head, remembering the night we had a week ago. I couldn't help but smile.

"What's got you all happy?" Lena asked, and I snapped back to my surroundings. "N-nothing. Just happy I suppose." I stuttered, and she raised an eyebrow. A long silence came between us as her eyes burned into my soul. It was like she was trying to find the truth in my eyes. "Ya got something for Doc don't cha?" She practically blurted out, and I was caught off guard by how sudden it was. "N-no I don't. She's just a friend." I explained, and she laughed. "Aww you're blushing! You really do like her!" Her teasing only made me blush further.

"What are we talkin' about?" I heard Jesse ask, as he smiled at me, taking a seat in front of us. He had a cigar in his mouth, as he let out a puff of smoke, kicking his feet up on the table. "We were just chatting about him and Doc." Lena said, and he chuckled. "Yeah I figured with how much he was blushin'." I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. "Just shut up. It's not like that." I retorted, but Jesse smiled, taking out the cigar from his mouth, pushing his hat back up. "Ya think no one saw you two love birds on the roof a week ago? Hell ya practically had her in the palm of yer hand." He added, and I rolled my eyes. "Just shut up and let's get to work. Don't wanna keep the doctors waiting. Besides, Lena you need some more training with a weapon." I said, and she sighed.

"We just worked on it!" She contested, but I glared at her. "And ya missed almost every shot ya fired at me. C'mon let's get to it." I said, as Jesse stood up as well. "Alright Captain Eastwood." I heard Lena laugh, as she mocked me. It was a nickname she gave me ever since I started to train with her. And to my surprise, I sort of liked it. Not the worst of nicknames I'd been given.

As we arrived at the shooting range, having been given our own range since we were training with Lena, and they wanted to solely focus on her. I wasn't gonna complain. It was clean, with the Overwatch colors decorating the room, and holograms displaying our score for each run, with the training bots being rebuilt in quick succession with cutting edge technology. It even had every weapon you could think of. And thankfully, it had my revolvers. Hell they were as clean as mine, and admittedly more accurate, but I always had been a little sentimental. That's why I even still had my hat, which looked a lot like Jesse's. I remember when we first got them. Those were the days.

Lena grabbed her pistols, and I tossed a revolver to Jesse, who caught it, twirling it in his fingers. I looked ahead, which had the training bots turned off temporarily, and with the click of a button they whirled to life, with the lights illuminating the range that held them, as they began to run normal back and forth patterns and movements. But it was too easy, so I bumped it up a notch, down to the level Lena was at. I was much further in it, actually holding the high score, beating Captain Amari by 200 points. Now that was a feat I was proud of. And I made sure to always rub it in Ana's face as well.

Before I could give instructions as to what I'd want Lena to try, I heard the door open behind us, and I turned to face Captain Amari and Commander Morrison. Within a second, I was standing straight, stern face, and saluting in their direction. "At ease." Morrison said, but I didn't let my guard down. He'd never liked me, I was sure of it. It probably had to do with the bad first few steps of our relationship, with a boot to the nose, but then again I was trying to make up for it. But every once and a while I'd catch a concerned and observing glare in my peripherals.

As I sighed, reaching for my gun that I placed on the desk behind me, I started a conversation. Never was one for silence. "So, you two here to see the work in progress here?" I asked, ruffling Lena's hair, as she protested with a quick shove. I smirked at her. "Of course, Nathan. Please, don't let us intervene." Ana said, and I smiled, turning to Lena. "Well, don't embarrass me." I joked, earning a stifled laugh out of Jesse.

For a minute, I watched as she did admirably well. Considering her first performance when she arrived here, Jesse and I had improved her accuracy a thousand fold. I smiled, her shots hitting their marks. But I noticed a slight hesitation, as she focused on aiming, rather than trusting herself.

I stepped up from my seat, patting her shoulder. "Not bad. Although you have one big mistake." I said, and she looked puzzled, and I looked at Jesse, and he finished my sentence. "Ya keep hesitatin'." Jesse grinned, and I walked up, taking her place. As I readied myself, I steadied my eyes on the target, and pulling my hand up. I turned back to Ana and Morrison, and with a quick squeeze, the moving target dummie was an owner of a bullet lodged in its head as it crumbled to the ground.

"See. I didn't hesitate. I trusted my eye. Don't aim." I informed her, and she frowned. "Don't aim?" She asked. I nodded, letting her take her place at the range once more. "Now steady, and trust your instincts. Your eye knows where it wants the bullet to go." I added, and with another session of shooting, and much to the surprise of Ana and Morrison, she hit 80 percent of her shots.

"See? Told ya we'd make a sharpshooter outta you yet." Jesse smirked, and I nodded at Lena. I directed my gaze out towards the range, and behind bulletproof glass, stood Angela, smiling along with many others at the performance. I grinned at her, and she gave a slight wave at me.

"Well, not too bad Oxton. Good work. Agent Parker, Agent McCree, thank you for working with her." Jack said, and Jesse smiled, tipping his hat. "Pleasure's all mine." He said, no doubt trying to charm them. I simply nodded.

"But, Agent Parker, I hear you are quite the sharpshooter. Mind a bit of a competition?" Commander Morrison asked, grinning. Jesse shot me a look, and Ana laughed. Lena only seemed to gasp. "Well, seems I've got quite the crowd. And I've never been one to back down from a dare. So, what's the bet?" I asked, and he cocked his head slightly, his grin loosening. "Bet?"

"Well if we're gonna have a competition might as well have high stakes. Down in Deadlock it sometimes was over who lived and who died but we'll settle with...less drastic measures." I joked, and Jesse grinned, as he handed me a second revolver, already knowing what was gonna come. I twirled them around as I pondered a good bet, sticking out my tongue as I focused.

"How about, if I win, I get an entire week off. No practice, no missions, no nothing. Just me time. And if I lose, which won't happen, but in any case it does, I shall work double the hours for the remainder of the week, double the training, any missions unless I'm injured, and hell, I'll shine your gun while I'm at it." A smile met my opponents face, and he laughed, shaking my hand. "You're on Parker."

Within a moment, it seemed like everyone wanted to see this. Winston and the scientists and doctors and Angela all stayed behind to see this. As I sat down beside Captain Amari, who placed a hand on my shoulder, laughing, Commander Morrison had his pulse rifle out, and was already beginning the exercise to rack up as many points as he could. "Well I'll start this show." And as he loaded his weapon it made an evil hiss, and then he began firing.

Quickly snapping to his targets, he didn't seem to miss. I kept an eye on the scoreboard, as it never seemed to stop getting larger. The robots had a hard time repairing at the same rate as he was dropping them, the range being littered with parts and sparks flying into the air. He seemed to he enjoying this, and some scientists and doctors applauded their commander's efforts, but Angela kept watching closely. She hasn't clapped yet.

And as the minute passed and the timer went off, Jesse, Lena and Amari clapped, as Jesse let out a whistle of approval. Morrison turned to me, a sly grin on his face, and I tipped my hat in respect, as he set his now heated weapon down. "I love the smell of pulse munitions in the morning."

I chuckled a bit at the comment, standing from my seat, a smile plastered on my face. I sauntered over there, hands on my hips, which held my weapons. I looked out on the range, as the bots reassembled themselves. I looked at his score. "588,245 points. 87 percent accuracy." I laughed, looking over at Angela behind the glass. She raised an eyebrow, and I winked, and I swear I saw her blush. "Well you're pretty good ol' son, but sit down in that chair right there. Let me show you how it's done!"

My revolvers fired in quick succession as I tested my aim, going to my limits as I pushed myself even further, with the robots being destroyed as soon as they were made, the scraps piling up as it started to form a miniature hills and mountains. "My god..." I heard Jesse mutter, as each shot was a head shot. I had yet to miss a shot, each one hitting right between the eyes, and I bumped it up to a harder difficulty as they began moving frantically around the room as fast as possible. That didn't save them. The bullets I fired were hitting my boots and the floor below me as I reloaded, and hit my mark again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

I don't recall exactly when I had even started this challenge. How much time had I spent firing? The thought crossed my mind multiple times as I kept testing my reflexes and my trigger fingers. Hell this was a lot of shooting. Even I was having a hard time to keep up with this incredible speed I had began this exercise.

But I heard the sharp and loud buzz of the alarm, signaling it was over. For a moment, I caught my breath. I looked around, turning to Jesse, who had removed his hat in awe, then to Lena, who had her mouth wide in shock, and then I looked at Angela, as she tried to even comprehend what happened. But then a wide grin met her lips, and she jumped in the air, cheering loudly, and the others in there soon joined. Then it sounded in this room, where Jesse patted me on the back, and Lena clapped as fast as her hands could go.

I turned to Ana and Jack, as Ana laughed, applauding like the others, and Jack simply stared at me. I turned to the monitor that displayed the points. "698,442 points. 100 percent accuracy. New record!" It exclaimed, and I damn near fainted at the sight of it. "Holy shit." I muttered. I did that? Guess training with Captain Amari really helped huh?

Turning around, I met Angela's eyes, and I grinned happily, as I saw her laughing, and I bowed, taking off my hat and placing it in my hand as I held it out.

When I stood and smiled at Commander Morrison, he grinned. "Not bad kid. Not bad." And he left without another word. I couldn't tell if I should be thankful or disappointed in that reaction. I mean I was half expecting him to punch me. But he had smiled at me. So I guess it was good. I turned to Lena for her input on that reaction, but she just shrugged.

"That means he likes you." Captain Amari said, as she left just as quick as Morrison.

I met the confused eyes of Jesse. "How in the hell did ya pull that off? You actually beat Morrison! Ya beat Morrison!" He exclaimed, and I held a hand out, stopping him. "I'm gonna need to use this first day off to drink, so I can finally clear my head. I have no idea how I did that." I said, and Jesse smiled. "I'll meet ya down there later alright? This calls for a celebration."

I turned to Lena, who giggled. "I'll see ya then too. Try not to think too hard! And oh I think I see a certain doctor making her way here. Good luck luv!" She said, blinking off before I could respond. As I looked out the window by the door that entered this room, I could see her walking down here.

When the door opened, I smirked. She raised an eyebrow at me, but unable to contain her excitement. "You bested the great Strike Commander Morrison! That was impossible before you came along! That was amazing! You were really good out there." She complimented me, and my mind scrambled to conjure up some response or coherent sentence to say. But my witty mind and comments were leaving me hanging in a time of grave importance. I opened my mouth, and just spoke without thinking.

"I-It was nothing." I stammered, and she giggled.

'Fucking nailed it.'


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is about the mission that is referred to in chapter 36 of Deadlocked, and it goes into detail about what happens to Nathan in it. This whole thing is gonna be two chapters, and I hope you all enjoy it. This one was rather difficult to write at times, since it has some dark themes, but I feel like when you're in Blackwatch dark stuff sort of comes with it naturally. The story won't always be lighthearted. Sometimes we've gotta get to the juicy stuff. Alright I should let you all read this. Thanks for reading, and for all the support!**

Chapter 3: A Promise is A Promise

Keeping away from people was one of my specialties. It wasn't because of a social anxiety or because I just didn't like the people I was interacting with, but it was on a much less personal level. It was all me really. Nobody had really given me a proper reason to avoid them. But it was natural I suppose. I'd gotten so used to Deadlock that I forgot I was in an entirely different environment. I'd even noticed my habit of keeping my hands on the table when I speak to someone, which was a sign that I had no intentions of pulling out my gun and firing. I doubt anyone besides McCree noticed, seeing it as a normal thing.

I guess everything was a bit odd to me. All the time we have to dedicate to being at the top of our game is rather foreign to me. I mean I've always been good with a gun, but Captain Amari has made it her duty to show me every trick in the book. I appreciated it, and I was starting to warm up to her, getting used to being told what to do. Soon enough, I was beginning to look forward to my time with her. She was like a mom to me I suppose, and she was always trying to teach me something new, which was usually a moral or emotional lesson. It was hard getting used to having a mother figure since I've been deprived of one for over a decade. But although it was a slow grind, I loved it. Though I don't know if I should ever openly call her "mom". I respected her, and her abilities on the field. Any battle, difficult or not, I would gladly fight by her side.

Her daughter Fareeha on the other hand, was a whole other story. When we first met, I didn't understand why a teenager had so much respect around here. But when we actually spoke, I started to enjoy her. She was kind, but stern, a lot like her mother. She was rather dutiful, and hopes to get into the military, like her mother. And she didn't lack the strength or willpower for it. I really did like her as well. I even got persuaded into teaching her a bit about guns, and letting her in the shooting range, much to Ana's disapproval. I tried to argue it was good for Fareeha, but I guess Captain Amari doesn't want her daughter to live the same life as her. I respected that, but I don't know if it is the right thing to do.

Fareeha had seemed to like as well, seeing as she came down to see Jesse and I every chance she got. We'd given her the nickname "sport", which originated from a derogatory term, but then became a bit of a joke, as she, despite her younger age, could keep up with us in the exercises. Hell, she damn near beat me to a pulp because I wasn't expecting her to be so strong. One good punch later and I learned my lesson.

It was odd, having people show affection for me. In Deadlock, when Jesse was gone, I had a hard time even smiling. Nothing could really make me happy. No one ever cracked a joke or laughed at one of mine. But here, it almost seemed like they cared about me as well. Of course I could be foolish enough to actually believe that, even though admittedly it was naive. Most people I came across in my youth generally disliked me, besides McCree.

Not that I didn't enjoy having a family kind of feeling. It was good, although I wasn't very used to it. I lost my parents when I was just a teenager, having to bury them myself, right beside the ashes of our neighborhood and house. Most people didn't know of this, besides McCree, and Ana. The rest, even Angela, I kept it from for now. It was a lot to take in, and I didn't want to ruin the happy moments we had. No need to make everything sad.

Even I genuinely tried to ignore those memories. Even though they've been burned into my mind, and I always carried that weight with me, I still tried my best to run away from it. That was the past. I'm not the same person anymore. But, Angela suspected I was hiding something. Although I haven't specified what it was, she knew it was something horrible, and would cause serious psychological problems down in my future if I didn't let it out. She still pushes me to let it out. Maybe one day, if I get more hammered than usual, and the topic arrives, I'll tell her.

I moved through the hallway, heading down to Gabriel's office, where he called for me for a mission. It was my first mission since my week off, so I could assume it was a doozy. When I opened the door, I found Gabriel typing away on something, before dismissing it with his hand and directing his attention and gaze at me.

I sat down in front of him, offering a bland smile his way. "Alright kid, this mission should be pretty simple. You've got a scouting mission with some other agents, and I want you guys to investigate these coordinates, which we suspect to be a hideout for a terrorist organization for omnic rights, who use violence and scare tactics to force the public to treat them to the same rights as humans. This needs to be stopped."

"Sounds simple enough boss. Anything I should be on the lookout for?" I asked. "Well for starters if this building is occupied, I'd want you all to inform me so we can send reinforcements to handle it. If not, then investigate further, but be careful. You may be able to scrounge up evidence for another future attack or their whereabouts. Under no circumstances do you all run in there guns blazing. If they are there, they'd kill you all. Be smart, use your head."

I chuckled, grinning at him a bit. "I'll be fine, I promise. It's not that dangerous is it? I think I can handle a few omnics." I stated, but he rose from his desk, planting his hands firmly on it, leaning over it, looking straight at me. "It's more complicated than that! You will NOT engage the enemy if they are there! You WILL stay safe! You WILL come back to me in one piece! I don't want any heroics, Nathan. Stay safe. This mission is a little sketchy, and I don't like the sound of it. We can't afford to lose more good men and women." He responded, and I frowned, finding his sudden emotion unnerving.

"I'll be alright. I promise Gabriel, I'm not going nowhere. Now you stay safe too, with the...paperwork." I smiled, and he laughed. "Believe me, I want to be with you guys. But my attention is needed elsewhere. Now go, and stay safe kid." He ordered, and I nodded, tipping my hat and exiting.

Once I was ready and had gathered all my gear, I arrived at the hangar, where the other three in the group would be accompanying me. I found Jacob Fragg, his rather large size, a mountain of meat, rather than a man. Despite the intimidating size he had, his smile belonged to someone with a much more charming and less opposing figure. He had short hair, with his beard running down to his neck. He waved a large hand at me, with a grin as well, and I waved back. I liked him, he was quite the character. He was always ready for a fight, and I dare say could beat me at my own game, drinking. He wore the regular Blackwatch gear, and a large rifle strapped to his back.

His twin sister on the other hand, Jamie, was lean, looking like a twig. She had auburn hair, just like her brother, that ran down to her shoulders, with a soft face. She had a sharp nose, and even sharper eyes, her blue hues catching the attention of anyone who walked by. She was beautiful, even with the gear covering almost all of her body. She always had a pistol, and was handy with knives, multiple of them strapped to her utility belt. We had a darts competition, where I got my ass handed to me.

The Fragg twins were inseparable, being born a minute apart. They had always been competitive, fighting over who would be the best choice in the duo. I preferred both, as they had saved my ass more times than I could count with my hands. Jamie beat Jacob to the world, and she clearly had no intention of letting him best her in anything. I couldn't help but smile at the two.

The other agent in this expedition would be Ricky Johnson, one of the captains in Blackwatch. I didn't know him all that well, but he sure was respected around here with all the salutes and "sirs". His hair was as black as a crows feather, with eyes so dark you couldn't even tell where his pupils began and ended.

I began to move towards them, but I was stopped by Fareeha. I immediately felt guilty. I forgot we planned to see each other today. She frowned at me, and I offered a sheepish smile. "You thought you could ditch me today?" She teased, and I sighed, shaking my head. "I've got to do this, it's important. But I promise I'll be back soon, we can hang out then sport. You can find Jesse around somewhere near." I replied, and her face darkened, growing serious.

"You promise you'll be back soon?" She asked, and I opened my mouth to tell her it didn't work that way. That if something came up I might not be able to see her. But then I looked at her eyes, the way they beamed and looked up at me. She just wanted to spend time with her friend. Was it really that bad?

"I promise." She smiled. "And I promise, if you ever get hurt, I'll be there to see you in the infirmary." I grinned, finding that heartwarming, as I almost teared up. I smirked at her lovingly, hugging her. We broke apart, and I ruffled a hand through her hair, before patting her shoulder, and running down to the plane, as it began to lift off. I jumped up, Jacob helping me in. I turned back as the hatch began to close, and I raised a hand, waving. I laughed as she returned the wave, her entire arm wiggling as she shook her hand to say goodbye violently. She was a good kid.

Later...

This entire thing felt off. From the moment we touched down, to the moment we entered the abandoned building. We stuck close together, moving in formation as we breached and cleared every room in the 17 story building. But the way this place seemed so hurriedly abandoned, with data and information about the organization that was secretly stockpiling supplies here, was so unnerving and uncomfortable I couldn't help but shiver sometimes. It was like everyone just got up in the middle of dinner. Like they knew we were on to them.

Hell, Jacob and Jamie didn't like this either. Jacob held his massive gun close, finger on the trigger. Jamie had a hand on her belt, with a pouch full of daggers and throwing knives. I rummaged through the desks, finding nothing of interest. Everything we had was a few bits of corrupted data, some half burnt maps and designs for weapons I couldn't recognize, and a feeling of dread the entire way through it.

After 30 whole minutes of gut wrenching silence besides our footsteps and a bit of chatter, we found nothing else. It was so off putting to me, I couldn't describe it. I rarely moved a few feet from the group, not wanting to be cut off and meet an unsavory demise.

Once we gathered in the 3rd floor, we began to give up on finding anything else remotely useful. I turned to Ricky, who was standing there, sorting through the multiple papers left behind, trying to find anything. I grabbed his arm, making him look at me. "There isn't anything else sir. I think they knew what they were doing when the got out of here. We're lucky we even got anything." I informed him, and he scratched his chin. "There has to be something."

"I don't think so. I don't like this place. I really, really don't." Jacob said, stressing the fact that we should leave. Jamie ran a hand through her hair. "This should be enough anyways. We've got plans for possible upcoming attacks. I think Reyes would be good with this." She added, and I grinned. "She's got a point. Let's just call it a mission successf-"

A bullet rang through the air, striking me in the chest. I flew back from it, as I struggled to breath. The vest I wore stopped it from entering my sternum, but it still hit hard. Jacob pulled me to my feet in one swift yank, as he put my hat back on, looking straight into my eyes. "C'mon Nate! You're fine!" He assured me, as he began firing behind me.

I turned to where he was firing, finding omnics running at us. Most of them had melee weapons, like baseball bats and crowbars and rusty pipes. Some fired at us with unreliable and old guns, with poor accuracy. It must've been a miracle they even hit me. Once I realized what was going on, and that these were the terrorists we were sent to investigate, I didn't hesitate to fire.

One by one they fell in front of me, as my bullets proved efficient enough to kill them, sparks flying out of them in explosive fashion. Jacob beside me was firing at them, laughing as they were mowed down quickly. I smiled at him, as he stood tall, the massive gun having little recoil against his large muscles. I stood beside him, picking off those he missed or injured with much more accurate shots from my dual revolvers. "Duck!" I heard Jamie cry, as I did as told, and when I turned I saw a knife lodged in an omnic's metal plating. Nodding to Jamie as a sign of thanks, I added that to the list of times she saved me.

Ricky was nowhere to be found amidst the shooting and chaos that was going on. I growled, turning to Jamie. "Where the hell is Ricky?" I asked, firing at another omnic. She stood from cover, throwing two knives in quick succession. "I have no idea! Let's hope he didn't abandon his comrades!" She responded, and I frowned, turning to Jacob. "I saw him! He left in the shuttle. He said he'd be coming back with covering fire and a way out of here!" He informed me, and I nodded. "Is he gonna show?" I asked, and the twins shrugged simultaneously.

During the firefight, an omnic threw something at us. I couldn't recognize it until it was already beeping, sounding it's eventual self destruction. My eyes widened as the grenade lay at my feet. I stood to run, but Jamie grabbed it, and she began to throw the explosive back to it's owner. Before I could react, it exploded in her hand, knocking Jacob and I back, and the world faded away.

Later...

When I woke up, I was completely dazed, a loud ringing in my ears, as I began to recover from my sudden disorientation. I sat up, and with a groan, I held my head, as it felt like it was about to burst. My abdomen burned, and I looked down to find a large piece of glass lodged in it. Breathing began to become difficult, as my vision became blurry. Once I came to my senses, the searing pain was too much to bare. I gritted my teeth, gripping it's sharp edges with my hands, and they began to bleed from the cuts it was making as I held it. I took a deep breath, and pulled.

I'd never felt so much pain in my life, as it dug deep into my stomach and muscles as I pulled, straining my vocal cords as much as my hands, letting loose a loud shriek, fairly certain people miles away could hear me. "Fuck...fuck...fuck..." my vocabulary failed me as I struggled to come up with some motivational speech to deliver to myself to keep moving. I decided those words would have to do, and I gripped the glass again, sliding it out of me with a swift pull.

The blood poured from my abdomen, and I began to rip pieces of my clothing off to use as bandages. They didn't entirely stop it, and they were soaked within seconds, but it would have to do for now, or I'd die. And I didn't plan on dying today.

Finally forcing myself to shaky feet, I used my surroundings to stand straight. I stumbled across the rubble, before hearing grunts, and cries of Jacob. I hurried as quick as I could, finding him, his gear torn to bits, blood covering his hands and chest. Below him, sat Jamie, as he struggled to give her CPR, trying to save her life. But I gasped as she lay there, lifeless, her body pumping up every time he pushed. Her eyes were open, and staring at nothing. He was trying to save a corpse. I struggled to keep myself from crying, kneeling down beside Jacob.

"She's gone, Jacob..." I sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder. "No, no, no no no no... Jamie..." He stammered, his eyes staring at his dead twin sister. But they held no emotion, as empty as his sisters. He didn't even cry. They just stared, and they didn't quit as I stood back up, trying to contact Ricky. "Ricky, hello? You there? Answer me god damnit!" After nothing returned but static, I threw the radio in anger. "He left the first chance he got. The coward." I growled, my fingers wrapping around my pistols that I placed back in my holsters.

I heard the faint click of a gun loading. I turned around to find Jacob, kneeling over his dead sibling, staring at her corpse, with a pistol to the side of his head. My eyes widened, and I began to run to him, forcing myself to move, even with the pain coming from my stomach. I reached out to him, and I yelled. "Jacob! No!"

With the pull of the trigger, his auburn hair turned to blood, and it splattered against the wall behind him, and he collapsed to the ground. In a moment, I was by myself, with two dead friends at my feet. "Oh god...oh god no..." I turned from the scene, vomiting. It burned as it traveled up my throat, and my eyes burned as well, tears flowing down my cheeks.

There was no sound besides my sobs, and the flow of blood. I fell to my knees, looking at the twins. Jamie, her entire torso bloodied, missing her right arm, and the right side of her face burned. And Jamie, his head a mess of red and bits of white and pink. His large body was crumpled, his entire body falling into the bath of blood on the floor beneath him.

I'd seen people die before. I'd seen people take their own lives. I'd seen how horrifying it can be. But nothing prepared me for this. For this feeling I had. The look on his face, how empty he was, before he ended it all. He was my friend. Yesterday he was smiling, as happy as can be. He was with his sister, and they were competing over who had better aim. He was laughing. The day before that, we had a few drinks after some sparing. I'd gotten a few good hits in, blackened his eye, broke his nose, and he'd sprained my wrist, and knocked a tooth out. But we weren't angry. We laughed at it all. Angela thought we had gone mad. I cared for him. He was a good friend.

My ears perked up when I could make out faint beeping in the corner of the room. My curiosity got the better of me, and I stood up, leaving the bloody mess behind me. There would be time to mourn later. I had to get out of here. I had a promise to fulfill. And seeing as Ricky wasn't gonna be coming back to get me, I had limited options as what to do. I was surprised the place wasn't already overrun with cops and ambulances. But I guess with all the rioting going on, they took it as just another explosion amidst the violent protests. So that wasn't gonna do me any good either.

When I arrived at the beeping, my heart sank. I saw that a bomb had been placed on this floor, set to detonate in ten seconds. I guess these terrorists didn't want anyone stumbling across this anytime soon. I moved as fast as I could go, struggling as I hurdled over a barrier, taking refuge behind it. When it went off, the flames went over my head, singeing my hat. The roof above me began to crack, and before I could react to it, the building collapsed in on itself from the explosion, and concrete fell, crushing me beneath it.

Back at Gibraltar Headquarters...

Angela's POV

I had been awaiting Nathan's arrival for a while now. It was unlike him to be late to something like this, and especially to keep me waiting. He always did like to make a good and lasting impression. But this...this was not what I anticipated from him. Perhaps I was overthinking the whole situation. He could be busy with work, or doing something with Jesse. After all I am not the only person he cares about. Besides, he has more important things to do.

But still, the feeling never left me that something went wrong. I was in the shooting range, under specific orders by Strike Commander Morrison to be taught at least the basics of shooting for self defense. I suppose he didn't like the idea of me being unarmed in the heat of battle. Nathan said he'd be sure to train me, and said he had time. And I'm sure there is no one better to train me.

Even though I had almost no idea how to use or even properly hold and fire a weapon, Nathan said he'd love to train me. Hopefully he was patient. I still wasn't open to this whole self defense thing. I've been a staunch advocate for peace ever since I could remember. But in reality, I feel it makes me a hypocrite, relying on so much violence to keep myself safe. Without the others in battlefield, I would be dead in an instant. They used violence to protect me. Yet I still fought for peace. Rather ironic, I must admit.

When the door behind me opened, I expected to find Nathan there, with a smirk on his face as always. Imagine my surprise when my eyes met Lena, who stood in the doorway, her posture lower than usual. Her head hung low, and she had a look of defeat in her eyes. I frowned, confused at why she looked this way. "What is it Lena?" I asked.

She sighed, shaking her head. "There isn't an easy way to say this luv, so I'm just gonna say it. Nathan was on a mission, and it went wrong. They were ambushed by omnics, and his team has yet to respond. One of them came back, said they weren't gonna make it. Said he barely escaped with his life. They haven't confirmed it...but they think Nathan and the others died. I-I'm sorry." She choked up near the end, realizing it was Nate she was talking about.

For a moment, I didn't know what to say. I barely even registered what she said, before it hit me. Nathan was gone. Most likely dead. My best friend, my...whatever he is to me, is gone. The possibility of him coming back is slim. "Oh." Was all I could utter, sitting down, thinking about Nathan.

"They're sending people out there to try and find them. Morrison told me to tell you. I'm sorry. I know you two were...close." Lena said. I placed my head in my hands. "It is fine, Lena." I muttered, barely stopping myself from crying. I had to be strong. He could still be out there. Nathan could make it. He's come back from worse. I denied myself the opportunity to mourn. He wasn't dead.

Nathan's POV

Argh...my head. I struggled to move, slowly realizing I was crushed amid the rubble of the explosion. I couldn't stop myself from starting to push. I could barely breath, the cement pinning me against the hard floor. I could make out cracks of light, coming from the night sky. I could make out the moonlight.

I moved my arm, feeling something crunch, and I screamed, but the rocks muffled my cries. "Ahhhh! Help!" I called out. I realized I was alone. Ricky left. Jamie and Jacob... oh I didn't even want to think about it. I placed my hands under my chest, trying to push myself up, and push the rocks off with me. They moved a bit, but my arms gave out, and they crushed me once more. I began to panic, losing my ability to breathe, and I could feel the rubble becoming heavier, pushing down more. It was crushing my spine beneath it, shards of glass pricking into my skin.

"PLEASE! HELP! ARRGGHHH! PLEASE! SOMEONE! I'M STUCK!" My vocal cords began to give out, just like my body did, and I looked through the cracks. Right in front of me, lay my revolvers and my hat. I could hear everyone in my head, as I remembered that I needed to come back. I made a promise. I had people who loved me. Who cared for me. Jesse, Gabriel, Ana, Fareeha, Angela...Angela. "C'mon Nate... what do we say to the god of death?"

"Not today!" I pushed up once more, with more force, giving everything I had as I began to push the rubble off me, slowly gaining more room. My muscles cried for me to stop, but I ignored them, as I felt the heavy weights slip of my back, tumbling to the floor beside me. I could make it. I was gonna make it.

The rubble cleared, and I began to rest, kneeling down, my hands out in front of me, on the floor, supporting me as I coughed up blood, spitting the salty taste out of my mouth. My arms were covered in dust and dried blood, as I reached out for my hat, grabbing it, and shakily placing it back where it belonged. On my head. I tried to stand, before stumbling back down, leaning against a wall behind me. I coughed again, not bothering to wipe the blood away this time. I could feel the blood and dust dry and stick to my face.

I sat there for what seemed like hours, as I thought of everyone back at base. If they knew what happened. If they cared. If they sent people after me. I smiled, thinking of them for a moment.

I started to grow weary from everything that happened, as I started to drift off. I could hear footsteps, and I coughed, which gained the attention of the people in here. I reached for my gun. I was trapped. They pointed their weapons at me, the flashlights blinding me, and I raised a hand to shield my eyes. "Holy shit...we've got a survivor!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Somethin' to...eat?

I kept my arm in front of my eyes, as a man stepped towards me, and I wasn't able to recognize him until my sleep deprived eyes were finally able to focus and analyze my surroundings. I hadn't slept in what felt like a century. The weight of the world rested on my eyelids it seemed. But I kept them open, refusing to sleep. I couldn't afford to close my eyes for very long.

When the man finally knelt down in front of me, he, annoyingly, but helpfully, held my eyelids open, flashing a light into my pupils, testing their reactions and dilation. I winced, blinded momentarily before he put away the flashlight. Others soon came up behind him. I could see the familiar insignia I'd come to work for, Overwatch. "He's injured, quick, hand me the first aid kit." The man in front of me ordered, not even taking his eyes off me as he did so. Must've been a medic or something. I was too tired to ask questions. I took my hand off my gun, and the man realized as he fished something out of the bag. "Don't worry, we've gotcha." He assured me, and I sighed. Breathing was a pain itself.

As the man got to work on my wounds, disinfecting them with...whatever that shit was, two other men tested my memory and eyesight. "How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked, and I smriked, only raising my middle finger towards him. He chuckled, and I coughed, as the other man placed a jug of something to my lips. "Drink up." He told me, and I didn't refuse, taking multiple swigs of the, admittedly odd tasting water. I lacked the strength to ask him, as I seemed to grow even more woozy. I rebelled against the idea of sleeping, keeping my eyes open, staring at the man working on the leftover glass lodged in my hand.

"What's your name kid?" The man up front asked, plucking a bloody shard of glass from my palm. "N-Nathan...Parker." I answered, and he raised an eyebrow. "Ah..so you're the man Angela told me so much about? I expected to meet you in less...unfortunate circumstances." He grinned, and I coughed once more. "We work under Dr. Ziegler." The other guy piped in, and I looked towards him. "She's an inspiration to us all." He spoke again, and I nodded. "That she is." I agreed wearily.

"So... a cowboy huh?" The man to the left said, and I grinned. "Y-yeah. Always wanted to be one. Jesse and I love the ol- wait a minute, are you guys doing the thing where you distract me from whatever you're working on so then I don't focus on the pain?" I asked, and the two men in the back, looked at one another, sharing nervous glances. The man up front stabbed a needle into my arm, and I felt liquid being rushed through my veins. I yelped in surprise. He laughed. "Not at all kid. Alright, get him up."

Before I could come up with some smartass remark, or insult, I could barely stay awake. Sleep was creeping up on me, and was surely gonna catch me. They picked me up, and I groaned, as the started to carry me. Sadly for them, I fell unconscious, sleep welcoming me in a warm and comfortable embrace, leaving them to carry my limp body back to base.

Gabriel's POV

"What the hell now god damnit?!" I snapped, looking up from my desk as a young man approached me, and I stared daggers back at his nervous, and timid eyes. "I-it's Agent McCree sir, he- he's on edge. I thought I'd warn you." He stammered, and I growled, rising from my desk. "The kid is gonna be the death of me." I grimaced, damn near kicking the door open, probably breaking a few hinges.

I was not in the best of moods, which everyone was painfully aware of. The mission goes horribly wrong, I lose two valued agents, and the other an irreplaceable little runt of an agent who barely missed a shot in his life. Let alone I started to take a liking to the little shit. Of course he was loud, annoying at times, and damn near insufferable, he had his charming ways. The god damn kid was always trying to impress me. He got himself killed too. I'm never gonna hear the end of it from Angela.

I stormed past multiple agents, all shaking in their boots as I rushed through them, pushing past and shoving them out of the way. I could hear yelling coming from near the armory, and I could recognize Jesse's snarl from across the room, spitting venom at whoever it was there.

When I entered, I could understand what he was yelling about. He was in the face of Ricky Johnson, the lone survivor of the mission, slamming him into the wall behind him, his hands gripping his neck tightly, squeezing the daylight out of him. Ricky kicked and struggled, but it was no use. Jesse was out for blood, his eyes saying all I needed to know.

"ENOUGH!" I yelled, and Jesse's grip loosened instantly, his anger now directed at me. "What in the hell do you think you're doing McCree?!" I bellowed, and he growled. "I'm killing this sorry excuse of a captain! You tellin' me, that I'm supposed to believe he did everythin' he could do to save the others?! The man ain't even had a scratch on 'em when he got 'ere! He up and left his teammates! He's a damn liar!"

"I did everything I could. By the time I even got back to get them, they were buried in rubble." Ricky tried to defend himself, but Jesse wasn't having it. He punched him right in the cheek with a left hook so quick I could barely even respond to it. "Bullshit! You're a coward! Ya left Nathan an' the others!" He cried, as I pulled him off Ricky, his legs kicking up in wild fashion. "Let me go Gabe! He got Nate killed!" Jesse protested, as Ricky ran a hand around his red throat, coughing.

Throwing him to the ground, I stood over him. I stared right into Jesse's eyes, and his anger turned to sorrow. "I get it! You're angry! This is some unfair bullshit and it got Nate killed! Believe me, I know how it feels to lose friends! But I will not tolerate this! I expect better from you god damnit! Nathan is gone, and killing a fellow agent ain't gonna change it! So straighten up, before I throw you the hell out of here!"

His eyes flickering from hate, to bitterness, to despair, he stayed there on the floor. I motioned for Ricky to leave, and he scurried out of the room in a flash. Jesse lay there in tears, a complete mess, his face buried in his hands. I sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry kid." I muttered, standing up to leave him.

The door opened, and man handed me a phone, not even telling me anything. I took it from him, answering it. "What is it?" I asked, and I couldn't believe what they were telling me. It was the team they sent to recover the bodies and search the rubble. My eyebrows furrowed, and I growled at the man on the other line. I looked down at Jesse, who was now looking at me, curious.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU FOUND NATHAN?!"

Nathan's POV

I groaned, my eyes meeting the man who found me, and he frowned. "I got him right here. He's bad. We need medical attention ASAP. We've got multiple fractures and deep cuts. He's real bad, I won't lie to you, but he's clinging on to life." The man said, and I let out a low growl in frustration. Clinging on was right. I gritted my teeth, wishing I could stand, looking at the mess of blood stains and dirt I was, my gear ripped to shreds. My hat was okay though. The only thing I ever took responsibility for in my sorry life.

Coughing once more, letting loose a mixture of blood and vomit, I wondered who the man was speaking to. He did say they worked with Angela. Perhaps they were rushing me to her. It would do me wonders to see her again. Everyone else too. I hadn't seen them in...I don't even know how long it's been. I just know it feels odd, being separated from them. Maybe that was just me showing weakness, but it was true. They were a team. One I'd like to be a part of.

We touched down soon, and I smiled, knowing I was back where I belonged. The hatch in the vehicle opened, and I was met with a mess of people, all crowding around to see me. The lights of the facility was blinding at first, as I tried to focus. The men lifted me up, slinging my arms over their shoulders, escorting me through the crowded mess that surrounded me. I couldn't recognize any of them. Or at least not any in close proximity. "Well this is a warm welcome..." I mumbled, not used to this kind of a greeting.

Everyone was looking at me, and I started to panic. How bad was I? These looks I received made it seem like I had grown another three heads. I thought I felt someone grab my hat, and I quickly snapped to it. I wasn't gonna lose it. It was a memento.

After what seemed like an eternity, I met some familiar faces. All with different expressions clear on their face. Ana, with joy, a smile on her lips. Fareeha with joy as well, right by her mother's side as always. I grinned a bit. Jesse almost seemed angry, his fists balled up, brows furrowed, and Gabriel actually gave what I could label a "smirk", nodding at me. He seemed relieved to see me alive.

I struggled to find anything good or inspirational to say, and I figured "hey guys" wasn't appropriate, my mind snapped to the sudden realization. A sudden pang in my stomach, and not from a shard of glass. Hunger. I hadn't eaten in...ah I still don't know how long. "Anybody...got somethin' to...eat?"

I collapsed into Gabriel and Jesse's arms, who laid me down on the stretcher gently. "Thought you up an' left us." Jesse muttered, and I smiled. "Awww someone missed me." He rolled his eyes, smiling. His anger seemed to dissipate as he saw me again. Gabe just placed a hand on my arm. "Welcome back." He muttered, and I laughed. "To hell?" I joked, and he stifled a laugh. "You wish."

Ana and Fareeha both smiled at me, and Fareeha placed a hand on mine. "Remember my promise!" She exclaimed, and I smiled, waving goodbye at them as they carried me away, off to the emergency room. Guess I'll have a visitor pretty soon.

Later...

Whatever they put me on hits hard. I woke up with a start, forgetting I was back here. I was safe again. How I missed beds. Even though these were much softer than what I'm treated to in Blackwatch. This one didn't feel like a million tiny needles poking into my back. It was as soft as a cloud, with warm sheets, and a pillow that wasn't as solid as a rock. I hated it. I missed my needles.

Though there was plenty surrounding me, some even in my veins, pumping who knows what into my bloodstream. I didn't even want to worry about it. All that I had to do was let the doctors do their work. I'm sure I'd be fine. I was in good hands. The best actually.

I rested my eyes for a moment, trying to rest. More of trying to forget. No one knew what happened. What we went through. Jamie, died trying to save us. Jacob... I could still see his eyes. Those cold, lifeless eyes, before that trigger was pulled. His blood spilling out the side of his skull. What remained of his broken mind shattered and spreading across the floor like a red snake. His blood is still on my hands. I can still feel the warmth. I felt like I was gonna puke.

The monitors and holograms around me began to beep quickly, signifying something I didn't care to think of. I could feel my heart begin to pump hard, adrenaline coursing through my body, my trigger fingers itching. Ricky...he betrayed us. He left us to die. But now, his days are numbered. I'm back. I was gonna haunt him, to the rest of his days. His dirty little secret he thought he could cover up and bury. The only thing I'm gonna be burying, is a hatchet into his skull.

I tried to stand, ripping off my sheets. I screamed, in anger and agony as a searing pain soared through my body. These tubes kept me here, I began to try to claw into my skin, to dig them out. Ricky has to pay. He will receive the pain and suffering he's caused the Fraggs and I a thousand times over. Nurses and doctors began to rush into the room, no doubt to stop me.

Something stabbed me, and I turned to meet whoever was responsible, but I met Angela's worried eyes. I began to calm down, as she hushed me, and everything began to fade. I focused on her face. Everything I had yet to notice. I reached a hand up to touch her, placing a hand on her cheek. Everything was drifting away softly. The lights dimmed, the beeps becoming faint white noise. Angela said something, but I couldn't hear. But her eyes told me to trust her. And I did, before falling into a deep sleep.

Later...

I didn't know how much time had passed, but it seemed to be night time. The base was quiet, asleep like all the agents it housed. I grinned. It was like home I suppose. Or as close as a man like me could get. Safe and sound. I took a deep breath, inhaling the scents around me. It was peaceful around here, for once. No rushing through hallways. No hard work. No training. No missions. Just, serenity, and sweet, sweet solitude.

Looking down at my chest, I seemed to be better. I was still bruised and a bit injured, but the major wounds were sealed, and breathing no longer hurt. I had no shirt or hospital gown, probably so they could check the wounds easily, but I enjoyed being able to see it. The wonders of modern medicine. Angela really was an angel. She always patched me up. I ran a finger along the scar lining my stomach. I chuckled in giddy amazement.

"The wounds are only temporary. They will fade quickly." I heard Angela say, her voice soft, and as tired as mine. She had dark circles under her eyes, coming from the lack of sleep no doubt. She always has been a workaholic. But there was a kind and warm gaze being directed at me, with a gentle smile. She placed her hands on her hips. "Aww...scars ain't nothin' much to me Angie. You alright?" I asked, concerned for her.

"That's a question I'm supposed to be asking you." She replied, and I smiled. "Didn't answer my question though." I said, and she sighed. Taking a step towards me, she raised an eyebrow. "Simply making the rounds. Checking on everyone. It seems everyone is okay. I should leave you to rest." She answered, turning to exit the room, reaching for the door.

"Wait!" She turned. I stumbled under her gaze. "I- I was wondering if you'd like to...stay here. I-I can't sleep. I figured maybe...I don't know...stay with me, till I go to sleep..." I stammered, and she chuckled. "I may just take you up on that offer, Nate." Angela grinned, and I blushed, embarrassed by how weak I seemed.

Angela took a seat in a chair, which looked surprisingly comfortable. It wasn't metal like in Blackwatch. She sat right next to me, and I looked at her for a moment. Even when she was horribly tired and worked for hours straight, she still looked perfect to me. I grinned. "T-thank you." I said, and she grinned. "Anything for my patient." She replied, and I chuckled.

I yawned, looking at her. "How long has it been since you've slept Angie?" I asked, and she muttered, struggling against a yawn herself as she spoke. "Thirty-five hours I think." I laughed. "A workaholic as always." She gasped. "I take great offense to that Nathan." She joked, and I raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? So what are you?"

"A sufficient doctor?" She shrugged, and I shook my head, laughing to myself. "You're so much more than that, darlin'." I said, closing my eyes. She scoffed. "Darling? And what do you mean by that?" She asked, but I kept my eyes closed as she nudged me. "I know you aren't asleep!" She exclaimed, and I giggled. "Nope...I'm totally asleep." I said while snoring loudly. "Oh I'll get you for that, Nate." She chuckled. "Sure you will, Angie."

For a bit, silence overcame us. We just sat in silence for a few minutes. I didn't mind. Sometimes it's just good to be with those you care about. This was good. It was real good. I couldn't deny it. I guess maybe, I was wrong about this.

"Hey Angie...Angie?" I whispered, looking to my right since there was no response from her. But I found her sleeping peacefully, her head resting on the side of the bed I lay on. I smiled, looking at her for a moment. She was perfect. Her hand was resting on my arm, and I slipped my hand up to replace it, squeezing her hand ever so softly. It was peaceful, and before I knew it, I drifted away, just as Angela had done herself.

 **Well this chapter was odd I'll** **admit. A lot of emotions and stuff, with a lot of mood and tone changes throughout. But I sort of like it, and it keeps you on your toes. It's not just one emotion. It's a lot of things all bound together in one big mess. But it's my mess, and I like adding more and more to it. Review if you'd like, let me know what you think! I appreciate you guys reading this story so far!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: There is no Justice in the World

Although I loathed having to sit still and do nothing, I did enjoy the time off from the constant work and pressure that came with being a Blackwatch agent. Not that I didn't miss being able to walk around, and eat and drink on my own damn time, but I'd have to suffer it for another two days until I could fully recover. But I couldn't shake the feeling of vulnerability while being hooked up to all these machines, not able to move. I suppose that came from paranoia that I had developed early in my life, and will always stay with me. It saved my life many times, so I couldn't be angry for having it, but I could be annoyed at times, my mind always snapping to worst case scenarios.

In the Deadlock Rebels, it was a good thing to have. Always keep your head on a swivel and eyes peeled, but now, in a hospital bed, surrounded by people who want me to live, striving to get me back on my feet, it was a curse rather than a blessing. The medicine pumping through my body wasn't helping me stay aware of everything going on, but I fought the urge to sleep. I still couldn't sleep very well. Even with Angela by my side that one night, it was still difficult to not scream into a pillow. It wasn't pain that kept me conscious. It was memory.

But, in perfect time, I was able to have visitors now, which means I don't have to hold conversations with myself and the walls around me. I'd always been a talker, chatting about everything at anytime I figured was appropriate, which, to many people's annoyance, wasn't always during good times. The only person who ever seemed to tolerate it very much was Angela, who I could tell wasn't always listening intently, responding with "hmm" and nods of approval. It got obvious when I asked her a question and she didn't respond, then noticing the silence and turning to me. I didn't mind. Most people didn't even want to be around me, judging from the looks I can get from certain Overwatch officials. They didn't even know everything I'd done in my time outside of Blackwatch and they still were disgusted by me. But hey, at least I had some friends.

Keeping myself sane by having my thoughts be my only company, besides nurses and doctors who came in regularly to check on me, was becoming insufferable, even for me, with all the thoughts my mind can manufacture in such little time. Only now was I seeing how people could be annoyed by my presence. Even I wanted to punch myself in the face sometimes.

Before I went insane, I got my first visitor. And who would've guessed it, it was Fareeha, accompanied by her mother, who seemed as glad as ever to see me better than the condition I arrived in. I was greeted with a light hug, or at least the only one I could muster up while still being stuck to this bed. Fareeha seemed happy to see me. Ana, nodded at me. When Fareeha began speaking, I listened closely. I didn't want to miss out on a visitor, with how I was on the verge of sneaking out of the med bay. That probably wouldn't have ended well.

"It's good to see you sport." I grinned, winking at her. "I tried to get in during the night yesterday, but Angela caught me. She sent me back." She laughed, and I chuckled, looking at her mother. "Of course your mother was okay with you sneaking in correct?" Ana flashed a look that answered my question, which I found amusing.

"How are you feeling, child?" Ana asked, and I sighed. "Better than I did. So I guess the stuff is working. How is everything back here?" I returned a question, and she frowned. "As it usually is, although the failure of the mission you were on has gained attention from the public. People believe Blackwatch was responsible, since no evidence has been found of any omnic presence. Expect a lot of questions when the funeral for Jacob and Jamie Fragg are held." She informed me, and I growled.

"Are you kidding me? So they think we just killed each other? It's obvious there was a fight. Omnics ambushed us. We lost good people to those bastards." I realized it wasn't just Captain Amari and I in the room, and I turned to Fareeha. "Oh, please, if you believe that is the worst thing I've heard in my life you have another thing coming." Fareeha said before I could apologize for my behavior. I smirked at her. That's why I liked her. Even though she was only sixteen, she fit in with the rest of us.

"We need you at the funeral. You need to tell them everything that happened. They will believe an agent who was on the mission, especially if you can go into detail. I know it may be a lot to take in, but we need this. We can't afford theses scandals." Ana said, and I nodded, understanding. "Yes ma'am." I replied.

The door opened once more, and I smiled at Gabriel and Jesse, who entered as well. "Hey Nate, ya alright?" Jesse asked, taking a seat beside me. "I'm fine. It'll take more than that to kill me." I said, and Jesse and Fareeha chuckled. "Of course." Jesse responded, shaking his head. Fareeha rolled her eyes at the answer. "I missed you guys." I smiled, and Fareeha was the first to respond. "We missed you too, Nathan. It's not the same without you." She smiled warmly, and Jesse laughed. "I've gotta admit I missed you man."

When we were done laughing, Gabriel spoke up. "We wanted to ask you some questions about the mission, if you don't mind." He said, and I sighed, the situation becoming much more serious. I hated when things got all serious. But I suppose it was necessary. "I was going to do the same thing. Fareeha, be a dear a leave the adults alone for a bit." Ana told her daughter, and before she could retort, Jesse began speaking. "We won't hog him, we promise. You'll be able to see him later. Right now we've got to do this. I'm sorry." Fareeha nodded, and smiling at me one more time before she exited.

"So, I'm gonna get straight to the point, what happened in there?" Gabriel asked, and I closed my eyes, visions of what happened as clear as day appearing in my mind. The things I saw...scarred me. To see a friend do that, right in front of you, looking right at you, isn't something you can just move on from. Even battle hardened soldiers like Gabriel would've been a little shaken up. It was hard to ease my mind when I thought of it. But I began to speak. "It was a nightmare. We went in, since nobody was there. We searched the building, not really finding much. When we began to debate leaving, omnics attacked, ambushing us from all sides. We held them off, and I realized we were a man short. I asked Jacob and Jamie, and they didn't know either. But now I know. Ricky, abandoned us." I said, and Jesse growled. "I god damn knew it. I told ya the bastard left 'em!" Jesse said to Gabriel, and he crossed his arms. "Continue, child." Ana ordered.

"During the fight, a grenade was tossed at us. It landed at my feet. And I froze. I froze. When Jamie picked it up to throw it back, it was too late, exploding in her hand, knocking me out. When I woke up, after treating an injury I sustained, I found Jacob, over Jamie. He was trying to bring her back to life. She...she was gone. When he came to his senses, I began to try and contact Ricky. When he didn't answer, I heard a click. I-I ran to try and stop him. I really did...but he pulled the trigger. He didn't want to live anymore. Not without Jamie. I was alone."

For what seemed like an eternity, they just stared at me. Silence overcame us, and I took a deep breath, inhaling shakily. "I'm sorry kid." Gabriel said, looking down at the floor in sadness. "Damn." Was all Jesse could mutter, taking his hat off as a sign of respect. "How did the building collapse?" Ana asked, nodding for me to continue. I exhaled deeply, forcing my mind to venture back into the hell that was that day, and retrieve more information.

"When I tried to find a way out, I could hear beeping. Before I knew it, there was a bomb, and it went off, being planted by the omnic terrorists. I was able to survive, but the roof collapsed on top of me, crushing me. I woke up again, covered in dust and cement, and I forced myself to escape it. After getting out, I sat there, too tired to move. I was in pain, and before I could drift off to sleep, the team you sent to find bodies stumbled across me. And here I am." I finished the story.

"I'm sorry Nathan. I didn't know what would happen. It was sketchy, but I sent you anyways. It's my fault." Gabriel said, and I frowned, shaking my head. "No it wasn't." I assured him. "It was Ricky that caused it." I said, becoming angry at the thought of the man, and how he betrayed us. "Well what are we waiting for? We know who is responsible." Jesse said, and Ana shook her head.

"It isn't that easy, Jesse. People won't believe us if we say that. They will believe it's a lie, for us to get away with it. The public only hears what it wants to hear. We need to be careful. Nathan has to tell them about the omnic group. They'll believe him. But if we tell them about Ricky, they will think we are untrustworthy, and doubt Blackwatch's good intentions. We can't have this information getting out." Reyes said, and Jesse crossed his arms.

"They already have a script written for you. You need to say everything you read, to a letter. I know it's not right, and downright stupid, but it's what needs to happen. I'm sorry kid. But we're counting on you." Gabriel finished, and I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "What about Ricky?" I asked, and he frowned. "He's gonna get away with it. We can't convict him of anything. And even if there was something we could take him to court for, we have no substantial evidence. He'd win the case easily. And all it would do is bring the press back on Blackwatch."

"So we just let the fucker get away with it?" Jesse asked, and Ana sighed. "Sadly, yes. Sometimes, there isn't any justice in the world. I'm sorry, Nathan. But we're in a bad situation here. We can't afford anymore attention towards Blackwatch. If so, Petras might cut the funding entirely. And there would be nothing any of us, including Jack, could do."

"So I guess I've gotta shut my mouth and be a puppet. Not what I expected when I got into Blackwatch." I replied, and Gabriel leaned against the wall, an angry look on his face. "None of us expected this either. We got blindsided. But we need you to do as you're told. You've just gotta smile pretty for the camera, and it'll all be over soon." He informed me, and I gritted my teeth, and went against my gut feeling for once in my life, and nodded. "Yeah. I'll do it."

Ana and Gabriel smiled. "Thank you. We'll leave you to rest. We're sorry this has to be this way, but it's for the better." Ana smiled, and they left, leaving me and Jesse in silence. "This is some bullshit if I've ever seen it." He muttered, and I sighed. "That it is Jesse. But it's what we got ourselves into I suppose. I'll see you around. I'm almost out of here." I replied, and he smiled. "Yeah, I'll catch ya later." He said, exiting, leaving me alone with my thoughts again. I slammed my head into the pillow. If there was ever a time for anger, now was the time. I made a deal with the devil, and now I was suffering because of it.

3 Days later, Jamie and Jacob's funeral...

The place was overflowing with reporters and media, all running around in groups and crowds, gathering around us like ants to food. I could barely even see, all the flashes and people preventing me from seeing very much at all. But, with Gabriel and Jesse by my side, we were able to clear a path, avoiding questions, mostly through Gabriel's intimidating looks and demeanor, turning any eager reporters away.

They had stripped me clean of any resemblance of my former self, taking away everything. Angela barely even recognized me before I left. They took my normal gear, they cleaned my face up, which had gathered a bit of a stubble due to being stuck in a hospital. I was dressed up in a fancy suit, and my greasy and messy hair slicked back. They made sure not even a strand of hair was out of place. I underestimated the hell Jack went through.

Gabriel went through the same process, sporting a similar smooth suit, his facial hair trimmed and cleaned up. Jesse was clean shaven, and was no doubt gonna receive some attention from females. I, instead of having to deal with that attention, had to deal with the attention from countless people, all asking questions as to what happened that day. I had to turn them down, telling them to wait for the story I would tell them. And that's what it was. A story. Completely stripped of the ugly truth that lies beneath it.

My hat had been taken away too, being practically torn from my hands. It wasn't just a hat to me. It was part of me. It reminded me of what I am. It kept me in character, and made sure it was me. Without the hat, I felt naked, and like a different man entirely. Sure a lot of people preferred me without the hat, especially the females, but I wasn't concerned with my appearance, especially to the public, or a demographic such as that. But the people in charge were, making sure I was groomed properly, like a dog on a leash. This was what they wanted. A lapdog. Not someone honest or loyal, but someone who did as they were told. I could see why Gabriel was denied his desired position as Strike Commander. He wouldn't stand for this. Even now he looked horribly uncomfortable.

Even Ricky was there, much to my dissatisfaction, and annoyance. He caused their deaths, yet they allowed him to be here. He knew it too, yet he showed little guilt or remorse for it. It took all my strength not to punch him, with all my anger and aggression built up. But Gabriel grabbed my hand, offering me a look that said it was better to leave it alone.

Luckily, the funeral was moving by quickly. Hell, the funeral lasted maybe a third of the entire scheduled event. I suppose Mr. Petras took this as an opportunity to get some good publicity, and halt the spread of negative comments and opinions on Overwatch. Overwatch wasn't even the problem, more of Blackwatch. On multiple occasions Overwatch has taken the fall to hide the corrupt side of the organization, and things that would be deemed "controversial".

When it was time for Jack to give his speech, everyone listened intently, all wanting a moment afterwards with the famous Jack Morrison. The poster boy, chosen because he was better for the pictures and parties, rather than actual work. I couldn't blame Gabriel for being a little bitter towards the man, and Overwatch as a whole for it's decision. Jack was good at this, I could tell, not a single stutter or even fumble over the words he said, or should I say read. I wasn't angry at Jack for it, I was more angry at the public and his superiors for supporting this shit. Honesty was important. But you couldn't find anything of the sort here.

Morrison spoke for a while, advocating for world peace and cooperation between humans and omnics, pushing for equal rights between the two sides. It was hard for me to bite my tongue, knowing omnics were responsible for my friend's death not a week ago. But I sat quietly, and Jesse and I played our part as we were told, much to our displeasure. But, after I gave my speech, and answered a few questions, it would be over. But so long as I was here, I wasn't Nathan Parker. I was what Overwatch wanted me to be. And that was something different.

After a roar of applause and cheering for the Strike Commander, he welcomed me on stage, offering me the chance to speak. I looked at Jesse, who whispered "It's almost over...". Gabriel and Ana both nodded at me, and I returned the same thing. When I made it on stage, I hugged my superior, offering him a kind smile, and he stepped aside, motioning for me to start. I looked at him for a moment, his eyes showing how uncomfortable he was. He hated this just as much as me. I pitied him for a moment, before beginning.

"Good evening, everyone. I am Nathan Parker, Blackwatch agent and friend to the late Jacob and Jamie Fragg." I stopped reading the hidden card on the stand in front of me, which held the microphones near me. I debated telling the truth, how this all went down. But this wasn't the time. It may not feel right, but it was for the best. Or at least I was convinced it was.

So I told the story. I did what they wanted me to do, nothing more, nothing less. It didn't feel right doing it, but I still went through with it. I couldn't bare to make eye contact with any of them. It was all a lie, made up to hide what really happened. A part of me, lost all faith in Overwatch during those moments. That this... is what the organization had come to. We were no better than the criminals we brought to justice. We were as corrupt as any of them.

During the burial of the two, I sobbed softly, but kept myself together rather well. I stood beside Ana, who placed a hand in mine, squeezing it gently. "Stay strong for them, Nate." She said, and I nodded, staring blankly at the coffins as they were set down in the ground, and the two of them were laid to rest. I even muttered prayers to a god I had little faith in, forgetting most of the words, but improvising nonetheless.

The event ended rather quickly after that, leaving me and a few others alone in silence. I stood beside Jesse, who gave a quick huff in disapproval over what happened, and began to make his way back to the vehicles. They would begin to escort us all back to base. Ana, Gabriel, Jack, and Mr. Petras stayed behind. I walked up to them, and Petras was the first to speak. "I'm very sorry for your loss, Agent Parker. We mourn just as you do." He offered a sincere smile, which was a first. "Thank you, Mr. Petras. You are kind to say so." I said, biting my tongue and every venom filled insult I had in my mouth, ready to burst out. Gabriel could tell I was holding back, and he thanked me for it silently.

I saluted Jack and the others. "Thank you for coming Strike Commander. Jacob and Jamie would've appreciated that." I said, and he smiled. "I'm here for you too, Nathan." He assured me, and I snorted. "Hmm, odd." I said, and I could see the look Gabriel was giving me, but I didn't care anymore. This wasn't about Overwatch anymore. This was about the disrespect these superiors showed towards the fallen agents. Like dust under their fingernails.

Jack's smile faded, and it turned into a puzzled look. "Why?" He asked, and my eyes didn't falter. "Well, I'm not dead yet." I answered, and his eyes narrowed. Ana put a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. "And what do you mean with that?" He asked, his posture as perfect as his hair and teeth, towering a few inches taller than me. "Exactly what I said!" I snapped, and Gabriel butted in. "Hey! Show some respect! You're talking to a superior!" He growled, but Jack held a hand up. "No Gabe. Let him vent his anger."

Mr. Petras looked in interest, intrigued by this sudden outburst like it was some sort of science experiment. That only added to my anger. "I'm not angry you fucking idiot! I'm tired! Tired of us fellas doing the dirty work and dyin'! Die got it?! While y'all sit around doing nothing but counting your shiny medals the whole day!"

"Nathan enough!" Ana ordered, but I couldn't stop now. This wasn't even close to what they deserved. "We're doing much more than that." Jack said. "Bullshit! And we all know who should be leading Overwatch!" I yelled, and Gabriel put a hand on my chest. "That's enough!" He ordered, but I rebelled against him. "And guess what, it's not you pompous ass!" I snarled at Jack, as he stood calmly. "I SAID ENOUGH!" Gabriel, grabbed me, but I shoved him off me with my elbow. "Fuck off!"

They all stared at me, and Ricky picked the wrong time to come up to see what the ruckus was about. "What is going on?! Nathan you can't seriously be blaming them for their deaths!" He said pointing at the graves of the Fraggs. He was right. They weren't to blame. He was. He caused all of this. "Calm do-"

I snapped, punching him right in the mouth. He recoiled, moving back, but I caught him with a left hook, hitting him right in the nose. He held it in annoyance and pain, as I turned to the others. They stared in disappointment and even anger. I ran away before they could get me. I didn't know where I was going, but I didn't care. Just away from here.

Later...

I found myself on a bench in the middle of the woods in some park, isolating myself from everyone. I ignored the messages I received on my phone and tablet given to me by Blackwatch. This was all stupid. They didn't even care about his death. Just saw it as an opportunity to try and spread a dumb message. One that was a lie. They spit on the name of many good men and women who died for the organization.

After a while, I heard a twig snap and footsteps, snapping me from my thoughts and to my surroundings once more. "Here to kill me and use my death as a way to push and inspiring story?" I mocked them, but I heard a soft voice behind me. "No. Never." Ana said sternly, and I shook my head.

"What were you thinking? Do you think we didn't care about their deaths? We do! But you can't express those feelings that way! Not in such an irresponsible manner. I expected better from you." She scolded me, and I placed my head in my hands. "Mr. Petras wants you fired, and relieved of duty. He's furious with your outburst." She informed me, and I laughed. "Of course he is."

"I presume Jack agreed with him?" I turned to her, she shook her head, much to my surprise. "Hmm." I pondered the answer. "He likes you, more than you know. He wants more people like you, willing to stand up and fight for what you believe. Gabriel said the same thing. They both want you here. Jack even vouched for you despite your anger. You misjudge Jack. He is an honest man, doing all he can for Overwatch."

She paused, and I sighed. Maybe she was right. He wasn't to blame for this. I had a tendency to snap at the wrong people. "You two may disagree on things, but he does value you. He cares for you. They will be able to convince Petras to give you a chance. Gabriel hates to see you do this, but he warned me it would happen."

"I'm sorry Captain Amari. But that whole thing was wrong. It was evil, all pushing an agenda rather than actually caring about those who died. I can't take part in that stuff, ma'am." I apologized, and she smiled at me. "I know it isn't the best thing, but we needed to do it. It was for the better. I'm sorry, Nathan."

"It's fine. I just...I hate seeing that happen. I can't stand by while that happens. I can't lie to all of them. What happened needs to be known. Ricky should be held responsible." I said, growing angry. "I know, child. But that feeling, about all of this, don't let it leave you." She advised, and I raised an eyebrow, and she grinned. "It means you're a good man. I'd be concerned if you went along with this easily."

I smiled, turning to her. "I just...I wish this never happened. I want to go back, before this nightmare came true. I miss them..." I began to sob, and she pulled me into a hug. I buried myself into her shoulder, tears rolling down my cheeks. Ana placed a hand on the back of my head, and pulling me back, looking right into my eyes. She placed my hands in hers. "There is no justice in the world. Not unless we make it."

 **And now I'm sad. This one was a doozy. I really liked placing emphasis on how horrible it can be with all the scandals and cover ups that come into play during Overwatch. With all the things being hidden from the public, and I wanted to show that in this chapter, and how hard it can be for some. Especially for a man like Nathan. Thank you guys for reading! Leave a review and let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Alright _I figure it's time we have some happier moments after all this sad stuff. At first you'll think this chapter is just some sad moments too, but trust me I'm not all angst and edginess! I promise I have a lighter side. After all I did say this one was much more lighthearted than the original story. Time I actually wrote some lighthearted stuff don't you think? Anyways, thanks for reading, and supporting the story. Review, let me know what you think of the story!_**

Chapter 6: I Like it When You Smile

2 months later...

Grimacing and brooding about my past has become a rather convenient hobby I've adopted over the time I've lived. I've made many mistakes, and although I don't plan on it, I'll make many more. But you live you learn I guess. From a scarring childhood experience, to a life raised in the streets in a gang, I've learned a lot of things. A lot of things I'd rather forget. Fate had never been kind to me, but it had no reason to. I wasn't a good person.

People asked me often if I wish I wasn't a criminal. If I had the chance, I would choose a different lifestyle? They all figure for me to say yes. I mean, who wouldn't? A chance to be normal, have a good life, maybe settle down and have children, grow old with someone you loved. It was a dream many people made a reality. But every time, I gave them the same answer. I don't think I'd be good at anything but being a criminal. I've gotten so used to violence and death, I suppose I've gone numb to it. Life can be taken in a blink of an eye. So why not live your life doing what you do best?

Sometimes, despite my clear answer, I wonder what it would be like, to wake up without instinct telling me to reach for my gun. Without worrying about who might stab me in the back. Without worrying about the responsibilities I had weighing me down. To just stop and take a breath. To go to sleep without the fresh taste of alcohol burning my throat. Sleeping peacefully, no haunting memories to speak of. To have a family again.

But I guess that wasn't the life for me. I questioned the reason I was even put on the earth regularly. I mean, everything happened for a reason right? What duty did I have to do? What prophecy did I have to fulfill? What redemption would I find in this life? Or was it all some sick and twisted joke, a cruel jape gone too far?

I drank the questions away in a single, long, sip of whiskey. A bad habit, I very well knew, and have been reminded of often by Angela, but it was a habit I failed to stop. Sometimes it was the only thing I wanted to do. And now was no exception. I found myself outside once more, enjoying the fresh, cool wind blowing softly against my face. I secured my hat on my head, taking a long look at the horizon ahead of me. It was beautiful. There was no denying that. Perhaps that was what drew me here so often. That, or the overwhelming sense of home there was here. A place I felt like... maybe I belonged. I only really had one other place with the same feeling.

A place I hadn't been in well over a decade. Home.

Though going home was impossible. It was burned down, down to ashes, that blew away with the wind. I still remember the scent the smoke gave off. The dread that struck my heart in that moment, when I could see the smog from a mile away. Running there was no small feat, but I had done it in record time. I had dropped the groceries I went out for in the market, sprinting back to my house, calling for my mom and dad. Neither answered.

My brother was gone. He had gone off to the military, leaving it up to me. I found the neighborhood I grew up in a pile of smoking rubble, the fire rising into the night sky, the trees blazing with light like torches. First it was the fire. I had gotten used to the smell of it, but not in such copious amounts. It drowned my senses, clouding my vision, seeping into my lungs. Then, it was the blood. The sound of sirens from police and ambulances. But it all faded to silence, when my boot met glass in a sickening crunch. I picked it up, to find it was my father's glasses. Beside them, lie my parents. They had been shot. Although now I know it was by Deadlock, I didn't know for a very long time.

At first, I didn't know what to do. Panic rose in my chest. I looked at them, for a good long while. Staring at their cold, lifeless eyes, the blood pouring out over the charred cement. Mom was looking right at me too. Those glossy eyes peering into my heart. The familiar burning sensation came from my eyes, tears threatening to burst out. But I remember what I did like it was yesterday. I took a deep breath, and gathered what remained of my family, and buried them. The ambulances and firefighters never found me. I hide them until they had all gone away, after the fires were put out. Then I buried them the best I could.

It was difficult, heaving my parents into the dirt, at such a young age. The way they didn't move, when I began shoveling the dirt back on top of them, covering their bodies bit by bit, until no hint of them remained. I created what could pass for grave stones with two scorched logs from a neighboring house for each grave, and strung them together, forming crosses. I engraved their names into the chunks of wood with a pocket knife I got for my birthday.

No tears were shed that day. None at all. I put on a blank face, and got to work. When the moment came, and I realized the job was finished, I wandered off into the streets, lost, homeless, and alone. A week later, I was found by the infamous gang I soon became a part of. The same gang that killed my family and burned down my neighborhood, took me in as one of their own. I wasn't laughing at the irony of the situation. A piece of me died that day with my parents. And sometimes I wish that were the case.

I sniffed, denying myself the right to cry. I didn't want to cry. Why bring up those past memories? They haunt me enough as it is. Instead, I took another sip of whiskey, emptying the glass, ready to pour another one, as I continued to drink the past away.

A weight jumped on top of my back, with a familiar giggle, and I held them by the legs, as they held on tight. I chuckled, forgetting the brooding for a bit. "You really oughta stop jumping on me like that." I heard Lena laugh. "I never got enough piggyback rides in my childhood. But you don't seem to fight it." She replied, and I smiled.

"Well I could just throw you off me." I retorted, earning a slap on the shoulder. "You better not!" She giggled once more, as I began to spin in circles, becoming more and more dizzy with each revolution. I began to laugh as well, holding her tight as I sped up. I couldn't deny how whimsical it all felt. The world was spinning, and my muscles were sore from a long days work, but I kept spinning. Keeping the pace up for long was impossible, and we both collapsed into the ground in a fit of laughter. For a while, it was just us laughing. I didn't mind. She was always good for getting my mind off of my mistakes.

I began to sit up, watching her as she kicked her legs out in a joyous fashion, still chuckling. She held her stomach like it would burst. I couldn't help but smile at her. I stood up, offering her a hand, to which she accepted, jumping up quickly, a grin spreading from ear to ear. "That was fun." I said, panting. "Again?" She asked, and I shook my head. "Only if it's your turn to carry me." I joked, and she laughed.

It wasn't awkward, with how we just stood and smiled. It felt natural. We had become good friends over the months we've spent together, and I was appreciating Lena more and more. Recently, I have been going through a rough patch. With the death of Jacob and Jamie, and with the mistakes I've been trying to confront, she's been a good distraction from getting to upset. Jesse and Lena had become my best friends around here.

Lena broke the silence, smiling at me. "I like it when you smile." She stated, and I looked at her, puzzled. "You're always so busy brooding Nathan! I mean ya look good doing it, but it's not the best thing you can wear on your face. Frowning takes more muscles than smiling." She reminded me, and I sighed. "You always are good for a smile aren't you?" I grinned, and she punched my shoulder playfully. "You are too ya big oaf."

We hugged tightly, as she held her hand on the back of my neck, the other resting on my back. I smiled. It wasn't a forced smile, or just a polite response. It was genuine. Like the smile you get when you just finished laughing at something. That smile when you're with someone you truly care about. It was a rare smile, to say the least. But it was a good one.

She separated, sporting her signature grin. "Well, Jesse's waitin' for us. We've all got the night off for once! You comin' or what?" She asked, and I nodded. "I'll catch up in a bit. I know where to find you lot anyways." I laughed, and she smirked. "True enough luv. See ya soon." With that, and a two finger salute, she blinked off, disappearing into a building, and with those sudden blue flashes, I was alone again. I sighed.

I picked up the bottle I'd gently tossed to the ground when I was ambushed by Lena with a surprise piggyback ride, and began to take another swig, letting the alcohol work it's wonders of dulling the senses and mind. People would argue that was a negative side effect, but I begged to differ. When you had a situation like me, you enjoyed the escape from your own mind for a little while.

The footsteps behind me led me to believe Lena was attempting to sneak up on me again, to which I smirked. "Ya know if you're sneaking around, you aren't very good at it." I said, and I heard a faint giggle behind me. Not one that belonged to Lena though. "I can't say sneaking around is part of the job description." Angela joked, and I turned to her, smiling.

I motioned for her to sit, and she obliged. It was good, the general silence we had for a bit. I had a general dislike of small talk. Irritating to me I suppose. Everyone always felt the need to disrupt the silence and fill it with pointless drabble. I know it sounds rich coming from me when I can rarely ever shut my mouth for ten seconds, but it was how I felt. Silence wasn't all bad.

"So, I see you're taking in the view." Angela began, and I shrugged. "Guess you could say that." She offered me a look, which confused me. "You know you don't have to hide the alcohol from me. I'm not a child. I can smell it anyways." She sighed, and I grimaced. "You're too smart for ya own good ya know that?" I replied, withdrawing the bottle I poorly concealed in my hand.

"I've heard that before." She responded to the remark, with a sly grin on her lips. "You want a drink?" I asked, and she frowned. "I've never been one for alcoholic beverages..." she muttered, and I frowned, realizing the mistake. Before I could apologize for it, she spoke once more. "...but I'm not against it. A good way to unwind. I wouldn't mind some, if you would be so kind?"

I tipped my hat a bit. "I'd be honored, to share a drink with the famous Dr. Ziegler." I grinned, pouring two glasses of whiskey out. I always kept two glasses for any special occasion. I guess it came in handy this time. She seemed to roll her eyes at how I seemed rather prepared for this moment. She grabbed the glass, raising it to her lips. "And I would be glad to drink with the infamous Nathan Parker."

"Don't inflate my ego any more than it already has been." I joked, to which she snickered. "You know, you have been getting quite a bit of attention recently from the media. Ever since your speech, women across the world have been enraptured with trying to find out more about you." She teased, and I raised an eyebrow. "Lies. Too busy looking at Jesse." I said, mostly from experience. He always was the handsome one of the duo.

Angela withdrew a magazine from the bag she had been carrying. The cover of it was a photo of me, winking at the camera. I remember that one was taken by some cameras at a press conference. I remember doing that as a joke. I suppose it was as serious as can be now that it would come back to haunt me. It's bold font read: " **Nathan Parker: The Mysterious Man Women Can't Seem To Get Enough Of!"** I choked on the sip of whiskey I was drinking, cringing at the headline. "Do you really not notice the looks women give you?" She asked, a hint of amusement in her tone. I laughed. "Seems you've got competition." I flirted, and she blushed. "Maybe."

"Tell me you don't actually read that shit..." I muttered, and she shrugged. "I find all the gossip and misinformed people in these to be rather amusing." She defended her enjoyment of the media outlet, and I poured another glass of whiskey. "That is ridiculous..." I smirked, and she laughed.

We left that conversation at that. For a few moments, we just smiled at each other. The magazine was admittedly hilarious once we began reading through it. We found ourselves leaning on one another for support as we would burst out laughing at the hilarity of it all. I never expected the doctor to be a rather good drinking companion. But even she had this unprofessional side. The one that was up for jokes and antics. Although it was a rare thing to come across, it was worth it.

"It's odd, with all the work we're doing to just drop it all for some party." Angela said, referring to the large celebration of Overwatch's anniversary, with hundreds of people attending, let alone thousands of people reporting on it. This one was supposed to be rather big. With all the drama going on recently, Jack, Ana, and Gabriel are looking to make it a spectacle people wouldn't soon forget. They wanted people to celebrate. Well, Jack and Ana. Gabriel seemed reluctant to do so. He never was one for the parties. He wasn't good with the media and crowds.

I hadn't really paid any mind to it. It was for all the famous Overwatch agents, such as Angela and Winston and Lena, not really for Blackwatch like me. Jesse would be going, but not out of his own choice or freedom. I figured I'd be left here to drink by myself. It wouldn't be all bad.

"Well at least I get to stay behind. Poor Jesse is being dragged to it with Gabriel. He wants him on his best behavior, and to make nice with the reporters. I guess even Blackwatch needs a spokesperson." I snickered at the thought of his uncomfortable face in that crowd, responsible for trying to make Blackwatch look good for the cameras.

"I've always hated these kinds of events. I joined Overwatch to help people, not celebrate jobs half finished." She replied, downing her glass of whiskey, pouring another. She looked at me, and I smiled. "Aww you'll be fine Angie. What's the worst that can happen?" I teased, and she smirked mischievously at me.

"I don't know. But it's a good thing I have an escort and date to the whole arrangement." I raised an eyebrow, curious. "Oh yeah? Who's the lucky man?" I asked. She took a sip of her drink, taking a short pause. "You."

I spit my drink out, the contents spilling all over the ground in front of me. That was not what I expected. "WHAT?!" I yelled, and she gasped, placing a hand over her heart. "I'm shocked. I expected you to be more excited. If you want I can call it off..." she began, but I stopped her. "No no no no. I mean yes...I mean no. I would be glad to accompany you but...it's a little out of nowhere. I mean...why me?" I asked, and she laughed.

"Well why not? You're the only one who comes to mind. I could think of no one else I'd have with me. Besides I assume you aren't busy..." Angela grinned, and I stuttered, becoming nervous all of a sudden under her gaze. "I...I-I...no I'm not busy...I'd be happy to escort a lovely lady such as you." I smiled, and she blushed. "Of course. You are also going to be with Jesse, vouching for Blackwatch's goodwill and intentions. I expect you will do well. You've always been good with cameras. Or better than Jesse."

The sudden pang of fear hit me all at once. I stared off into the night sky. This was horribly confusing. I preferred to stay out of this whole mess, seeing as how much I loathed these kinds of things too, but I couldn't say no to Angela. I'd be a fool to not be her date to the event.

"Yeah..yeah sounds good. Shakes up my plans but I'll manage." I stammered, and she smiled. "You always do Nathan. You've surpassed my expectations quickly. Let's hope you can keep surprising me." She giggled, beginning to stand up, and I frowned. "Some sort of test to you?" I asked, and she nodded. "In a way." She answered, and I chuckled. "You're cruel. Too cruel to be an angel." I teased, and she laughed. "Maybe so. I'll see you later, no?" She turned around, meeting my eyes. I nodded.

And with that, the beautiful, wonderful, charming, yet confusing woman left me alone to my thoughts, and a bit of whiskey left. That, and a mind running in circles, thoughts running rampant as I panicked. Was I supposed to feel this way? Was it good? I had no idea. Was this a date? No, no it couldn't be. That's stupid, she wouldn't want me, I mean I'm a mess.

My heart was racing, and my palms began to become clammy, as I sighed, chugging the rest of my whiskey, in hopes of calming my unsettled nerves. All I gained out of the effort was a headache, and a second taste of what I had for lunch. As I finished vomiting into a bush nearby, I wondered if that was from the alcohol, or the nervous feeling I had.

It was an all too familiar feeling I felt around the woman. Butterflies in my stomach, but now elevated to a second degree. This was a big deal. Hell I didn't even know what to wear. Is this how dates always were? Shit I don't remember them being this hard. But then again my past ones usually consisted of one night stands rather than actual relationships.

My shaky hands went for my pockets, grabbing a tablet I'd been given upon my enrollment in Blackwatch, and I called a familiar number. Despite the late hours, I knew she would pick up. She always did. After all, she was like family. After a few moments of silence while I waited for the woman to pick up, she eventually answered. "Nathan? What is it child?" She asked, and I sighed.

"Look I know you have bigger things to worry about, but I'm begging you, I need your help. I'll do whatever I can to repay you. I'll owe you big time. Please..."

"Well what is the problem Nate?" She responded to the rants a ravings I said, and I gulped nervously. She probably even heard it.

"I have a date."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Emotions

The suit I was dressed in admittedly made it much more difficult to shoot weapons accurately. The coat constricted my movements, hindering my usefulness and ability in a firefight. I decided to focus on that rather than the event that was to happen in less than an hour. All of that pressure and media coverage made me nervous. I'd rather be staring an opponent down in a shootout rather than what I have to do tonight. I shuddered, reloading my revolver.

Captain Amari had tried her best to make me comfortable in this kind of a party. She even ordered for me to be freshly groomed, to which she mocked me, claiming it was all for Angela. My hair was cut, and slicked back with some sort of gel I had no prior affiliation with. It made me feel weird. Clean I suppose, but weird, like my body was made of plastic. I forbade anyone from putting make up on me, no matter how much Ana insisted, mostly to tease and chastise me.

It wasn't the event that really threw me off. It was Angela. It was hard to admit, but true. I couldn't lie and say I didn't want to leave a lasting impression on her tonight. But this just felt odd. Jesse felt the same way, having been cleaned up, but for an entirely different reason. He was going to be in front of cameras most of the day. I pitied him. But I had my own difficulties to deal with.

"Nathan, you can't hide in here forever." I heard Ana began, and I sighed, firing another shot. "Who said I'm hiding? Just practicing." I explained, and she crossed her arms, staring right at me. She looked lovely, despite the intimidating look she gave me. Her dress was a deep navy blue, just like her uniform, with high heels on as well. She seemed...hesitant to be in that kind of apparel. "Listen, I know you're uncomfortable. Hell we all are..." she said, gesturing to her dress, which hugged tightly around her waist, attracting more eyes than she'd like. "But it is necessary. And you hiding away from Angela like a toddler won't do you any good. I will drag you out of here if I must. Now, put the guns down, and try to enjoy yourself." She advised, and I paused.

She was right. I knew that, since she always was when it came to this. Ana had been trying to make this work for me just as much as herself. I was grateful, though I didn't seem to show said gratitude. I set the guns down, putting them back on the racks, and sighing, turning to face her. "You're right. Just nervous I suppose. I don't feel right here." I doubted myself once more, and she smiled. "I think you'll be fine. I've seen worse." To that I laughed, following her out the door.

We soon came across Gabriel, chatting with Jesse about something. Well chatting was a nice way to put it. He was more of scolding him like a disobedient child. Jesse was frowning, his hat stripped from him, same as me, with his beard shaven, opting for a clean, smooth face. No doubt women would love the sight of him. He wore a button up white shirt, with the sleeves rolled up, revealing his strong and toned arms, and his usual cigar plucked from his mouth. His smug grin had vanished. Gabriel wore something closer to my style, his black suit, contrasting with a dark red shirt underneath, and a black tie to match. He looked good. Or at least better than normal. He was still scowling, as usual.

"I just don't see why I can't stay behind..." Jesse complained, and Gabriel smacked the back of his head, knocking a few strands of hair loose from their original position. "Because I SAID so! I don't wanna hear another word." He replied, and Jesse rubbed his head irritably, staring daggers at the man. "Ana...good to see you. Nathan. You look nice, for once." Gabriel smiled, and I squinted my eyes, analyzing him. "A compliment? Okay who are you and what did you do with Gabriel?" I chuckled, and he frowned. "Funny. We should get moving. C'mon, let's not keep the crowds waiting."

They began to follow him, as I tailed behind, flashing Jesse a smile. He winked in return. Ana stopped me with her hand. "Aren't you forgetting something?" She asked, and I raised an eyebrow. I didn't think I was. I patted my hands on my chest, pockets, pants, and even socks. After the quick search, I frowned, before snapping my fingers, remembering what it was. "Oh yeah! Angela." I said, and Ana nodded. "Right. Go retrieve her. You'll be with her most of the night. Don't be an idiot." She offered the last bit of wisdom, and I grinned, before running to get my date.

I arrived in a haste, knocking on her door distinctly, with three sharp knocks. She answered soon, and I couldn't help but stare. Her dress was a bright red, almost glimmering in the light, her hair let down for once, resting peacefully on her shoulders. I smiled, gaping for a bit, looking at the way her dress fit tightly, catching my eye immediately. I smacked myself, shaking the thoughts away. It wasn't like that. This wasn't a date. "I uh...I- I came to get you. Ya know...escort." I said, scratching the back of my neck. She raised an eyebrow, and smiled. "Of course." She said. I offered her my arm, my attempt at being a gentleman. She took it, to my surprise.

The walk down to the place was silent. Mostly because I didn't want to screw anything up. I didn't trust myself to say the right words at the right time. I wasn't as charming as I thought I was. Angela said something, to which I was taken aback, stumbling. "W-what? Sorry I was...somewhere else." I apologized, mentally slapping myself again for that. "I asked how you were doing. It isn't a big deal, Nathan. You need to calm down. You're acting like a beat puppy. Be confident. I'm sure lots of women would like to see your confidence." She said, and I blushed. "I'm flattered, but my heart is focused on other things." I said. 'Why did you say that?!' I scolded myself.

"Oh? And what are those things?" She asked, leaning towards me ever so slightly. 'Now look what you've done.' "Uh...my work, other things, Blackwatch, why Opposite Day is a thing when if it was Opposite Day then it wouldn't be Opposite Day because it's the opposite of said day...ya know...the usual."

She giggled, and I smiled. 'Nice save.' I congratulated myself. "That's the usual? I wonder where that mind of yours goes." Angela said, and I shrugged. "It just wanders I guess. I s'pose I've gotten used to that, Angie. And might I say you look lovely tonight. More so than usual."

Angela blushed, and it made me feel good to hear that laugh. It was so innocent and joyful. I hoped to hear that often. "Thank you, Nathan. You look great as well. The suit is as handsome as the man wearing it." She responded to the compliment, that one coming off more flirtatious than usual. "You flatter me, Angela."

And with that, we were met with crowds and lines of cameras and people all around the building. A walkway was dedicated for us, which kept the public at bay as well. The flashes and lights were blinding, as I held onto Angela a little tighter, which she noticed, running a soothing hand along my arm. "You'll be fine." She whispered, and I nodded, as we walked arm in arm, moving along the walkway, the reporters begging for a moment of our time, which we had to respectfully decline. A crowd of women squealed at the sight of me, calling my name, which gained my attention. I smiled, tipping my hat down to them, winking. That seemed to have made them happy.

The sounds of cheering and questions quieted down, and I smiled. The place was huge, reminiscent the one ball I had crashed. Good times. Hell I was more comfortable during that mission than now. It was full of officers and higher ups in Overwatch, all chatting and mingling together. Some reporters were nearby, trying to get the best scoop possible. Jesse was chatting with one of them, probably flirting with the woman. Gabriel, Jack, and Ana, were being interviewed together, with a crowd around them.

Angela offered me a look, to which I frowned. "What?" I asked, and she smiled. "You seemed to enjoy the women chanting your name." She answered, and I shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a mysterious man women can't get enough of." I joked, as we laughed together.

My eyes spotted a bar, and my instinct was to move over to it. Angela gripped my arm. "Must you?" She asked, and I sighed. "I don't have to. But...this ain't my kind of place. You know that. I'll be back. I promise. Holler if ya need me, okay?" I replied, and she smirked. "Just don't get too caught up with the ladies." She advised, and I tipped my hat. "I promise I'll be faithful to my date."

Making my way through the crowd, lucky enough to not be the most recognizable face in the building, with most of the people concerned with the bigger names, I rested at the bar, taking a seat there, alone. I turned to Angela, who was soon overrun with reporters, and I winked at her. I could make out her rolling her eyes, and I laughed to myself. I ordered a drink, and sat there.

For a peaceful few minutes, I was alone. It was good. Not silent, but passable. Until someone took a seat beside me. "This seat taken?" The woman asked, her hazel eyes attracting my attention. I shook my head, offering a warm smile. The woman was dressed formally, with a hint of makeup on her face. The brunette smiled in response, extending a hand, to which I took, shaking her hand. "Nathan Parker? I've heard quite a bit about you." She said, and I shrugged. "Oh? How much?"

"Enough to take quite the interest in you. Forgive me, where are my manners? My name is Abby Lee Brunton." She answered, and I nodded. "Good to meet you. Is there something you require of me?" I asked, and she cocked her head. "Just a few questions. People would love to hear from you."

I sighed, taking a sip of my drink. "Shoot." I said, motioning for her to continue. "My first question is, although we know a bit about your record and accomplishments in Blackwatch, we know little about the real Nathan. Mind telling us a bit about yourself?" Abby began, and I smiled. "Nothing much to know. Born and raised in the same neighborhood, stumbled across Blackwatch after I regretfully became orphaned, and I joined, wanting to make a difference." It wasn't strictly a lie now was it?

"Mysterious. I like it. Next up, Blackwatch has recently received attention for scandalous activities. The public would like to hear what an agent thinks of all this." I frowned, looking her dead in the eye. "Blackwatch isn't the bad guy here. We've been getting things done. You're all looking at a few bad apples. We're not all like that, I promise you. There are genuine people here." I answered. I didn't want to give too much emotion or attention to the subject. The woman smiled at me, and I did the same.

"Okay. Now, Blackwatch has been accused of being corrupt, committing crimes such as blackmail, murder, torture, and even assassinations. I understand being ruthless, but that is truly lethal. Blackwatch would be no better than what it fought."

I frowned, trying to speak, but she interrupted me. "I'm not done. Touched a nerve have I? You are corrupt, and everything that's wrong with Overwatch. I can't believe you all haven't been arrested for what you've done. You killed so many innocents. You can't seriously believe you aren't in the wrong here. You are responsible for my friend's death. My friend died in that explosion. I know you and your squad were responsible. You lie to hide the truth."

My hands clenched up into a fist, and I contemplated striking the woman for her accusations. A good man and woman died in that mission. Those terrorists were responsible for the deaths and damage it caused. Before I made a mistake, a man took a step forward. "Leave my agent alone. He's suffered enough during that mission. I won't have your contrived and useless organization twist that tragedy into a story for your own gain. Go. Now."

Gabriel stared at her, and the woman began to back down, as Gabriel didn't budge. He placed a protective hand on my shoulder. I grabbed the woman's wrist while she left, and she turned to me. "Your friend killed my friends. Maybe I'm not so innocent. But your friend isn't either..."

The woman left without another word, and I sighed. I placed my head in my hands, already irritated. "I'm sorry she came up to you kid. You handled it pretty well." Gabriel said, sitting beside me. "It's good you came when you did. I would've done something I'd regret." I growled, and he sighed. "I know kid. This ain't what we signed up for. But we've got a job to do. Promise me you'll behave yourself." He said, and I nodded. "I will." I promised, and he nodded, satisfied. "I'm trusting you. You've done well so far. Don't fuck it up in here. I like you, Nate."

Gabriel left me alone at that, and I thought about what that woman said. She judged me guilty the moment she laid eyes on me. I could feel the sting from that fact in my chest, as I downed the rest of my drink. It was gonna be a long night.

Thankfully, Jesse took a seat beside me, along with Lena. It wouldn't be too bad, if we could just stick together and not get stuck in the mess that this place was.

Angela's POV

The place was more crowded than I anticipated. Despite the large size of the place, I severely underestimated the amount of people who'd want a few moments of our time. Even on the second and third floor it was filled to the brim with anxious and determined reporters. It was all very overwhelming. I was beginning to regret allowing Nathan to wander off, leaving me to fend for myself.

I escaped the crowd surrounding me for the moment, slipping past them. It's difficult, being this recognizable. Perhaps I should've anticipated this kind of advance from the press. It was exactly why I avoided these events at all costs, despite the public's affection for me. I preferred to stick to base and get my work done. I enjoyed helping people. It made me feel useless when I was cooped up in here with everyone. Searching for Nathan in the crowd, I stood up as tall as I could, finding him in the sea of people going by in waves. He was sat at the bar, with Jesse and Lena, laughing about something. At least someone was enjoying themselves.

"Looking for someone?" I heard a voice behind me, and I snapped to the man, who was Gabriel, his eyes cold and intimidating like always, but he had a smile. I gasped, startled by his sudden appearance. "Mein gott Gabriel, don't scare me like that!" I smiled, and he nodded. "Sorry 'bout that. I was hoping I could get a moment of your time."

I grinned. "That's the first time I've been glad to hear someone say that tonight." I joked, and he chuckled. "Same here. It's as...annoying as I expected. I hate being dragged to these." He explained, and I smiled, relating to the feelings he was expressing. "I understand your reluctance to join these occasional parties. It seems you never get a moment to yourself, no?"

"Exactly! But, Jack insists I need to make Blackwatch more friendly to the public." He sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I hate this whole thing. They're even giving Nathan a hard time. It seems like the kid can never catch a break." He continued, and I frowned, looking over at Nathan, who still seemed to be relatively enjoying himself, mostly because of the company he kept.

"I was hoping he'd be able to avoid public eye. I guess I didn't do him any favors having him as an escort. That only brought more attention to him. I really should apologize to him." I said, beginning to feel guilty for that. He laughed. "Oh please. He loves being your escort. Don't worry about it. He's fine. The kid is tough. Hell I'd never seen him happier when he got to hold you close."

I blushed, trying to conceal it. I suppose I didn't notice. I was too busy with everyone else. He seems to be the right choice for it. Gabriel sighed, and that brought me back to my surroundings. "I've been meaning to talk to you about him." He frowned, and I gave him a puzzled look. "Whatever for?" I asked, and Gabriel's once happy face vanished.

"He's clearly in love with you, a blind man can see that. I don't have anything against that. I say damn what the rules say about relationships. But I don't want his heart being broken. I don't want that for him. He's a good kid, and has a lot of potential, and I can tell how he feels by just looking at you two. But just...don't give him hope, where there is none. He's suffered through enough."

I stood there for a bit, thinking about our friendship. I always thought of it as just feelings we'd never address. I was okay with that. I didn't want anything getting in the way of my work here. We both had to set our emotions aside for the job we signed up for. But maybe he was right. Nathan had been through enough. I didn't want to cause more heartbreak.

But I still cared for the man. Nathan was a fool, but he was kindhearted and meant well. I enjoyed his company. Admittedly, he was a bit of a romantic interest. But it couldn't happen. Not with everything and all the responsibilities we had. It would jeopardize our missions. I can't live with that.

"I understand. He is a good man, but I don't think that's what we should do. We have a job to do. I refuse to allow my feelings to jeopardize our missions. I signed up for Overwatch. I will not fail." I said, feeling saddened by those words I spoke. It did hurt to say that. Nathan deserved better. He wants something I can't offer. Maybe it's time I accepted that.

"Angela...you know Nathan. He's not gonna give up on the possibility of you two being together. Just don't allow him to he distracted. The kid has a lot of work to do. I'm sorry, I know this isn't what you want." He apologized, but I shook my head. "It's fine, Gabe. It is necessary to our mission." I replied, and he shook his head. "You don't have to be emotionless either. I want what's best for you two. If one of you were to die...it would tear either one of you apart. I know how you feel. I've felt the same way once. Just be careful." Gabriel said. He seemed more emotional than usual. Concerned about Nathan, despite the attitude and reputation he had. He truly cared about him, and cared about me as well. For that, I was grateful.

He nodded, before disappearing into the crowd, leaving me to my thoughts. It hurt. I decided to not think about it, and focus on getting through this night. Then, I can worry about Nathan, and my emotions. I sighed, looking at Nathan for a moment. He was truly happy. I refused to be responsible for his sadness. Maybe departing from this attachment was for the better.

Nathan's POV

Jesse and I laughed, losing Lena in the crowd as she attempted to get a woman's number. Jesse and I bet against her getting it, but it was hard to tell. Before we knew it, we gave up on finding her in the sea of bodies, returning to our drinks. We were a few rounds in, and we were both feeling the effects. My thoughts and senses dulled, as I could just have fun.

"You think she'll get her?" I asked, and Jesse chuckled. "I hope not. 'Got a twenty on this." He responded, and I smirked. "You'd be jealous anyways..." I slurred, and he laughed, letting out a low drawl from the bottom of his throat. "Hey...ain't no need for insults. I'm just 'ere for the drinks." He admitted, and I rolled my eyes. "Ya know Gabriel doesn't want us drunk." I reminded him, and he scoffed. "I know. But I think we did well 'nuff."

"I guess so." I said, and he frowned. "You didn't do very well. Ya still ain't treat Angie to a good time." He teased, and I chuckled. "Not my job. I'm an escort." I said, as we turned to the crowd. Most people had begun dancing, making their way to the center of the building. It was crowded, but people still found enjoyment from it. I frowned, focusing on Angela, despite my vision blurring for a moment. She looked concerned about something, deep in thought.

Ana had begun dancing with Reinhardt, to which I laughed. I liked those two together. Made a good team, and I always thought there was something there. It was good to see those two unwind from time to time. As big as Reinhardt was, it was more than awkward with all the people he would tower over and push through on accident. He was a big teddy bear, despite his intimidating stature. I could hear him frantically apologizing for every mistake when he stepped on someone's foot. He was graceful, but lacked the room to maneuver well.

Jesse nudged my shoulder with his elbow, as we watched the events unravel from a distance. "Angela is lookin' mighty fine tonight. Go an' have a chat with the lady." He grinned, and I shoved him slightly. "Shut up. It ain't like that." I said, and he held his hands up in defeat. "Alright." He said, backing off.

Then I began to look at Angela, and a feeling overcame me. She was beautiful. I couldn't deny it. And perhaps it was the drinks, but I felt a sense of confidence suddenly. I smiled to myself. I always figured it was some false sense of hope that she cared for me too, but I clinged onto it. All the time we spent together, the friendship, the happiness I felt, I couldn't just brush it off. I attempted to choke down my feelings with alcohol tonight, but it only seemed to make me want her more. She sat with Fareeha, chatting about something.

"Ya think I should dance with her?" I asked out of nowhere. Jesse grinned, pushing me forward. "Go get 'er partner." He encouraged me, and I smiled, tipping my hat to him. "I never was one to keep a woman waitin'."

Jesse dissolved from sight, as I pushed gently through the crowd, tripping twice. God I hated crowds. I almost lost track of her, before a pathway cleared, and I could reach my destination.

I met Angela's eyes, and she smiled, but her eyes said she was distraught by something else. I figured maybe something happened. Maybe I could get her mind off of it. Fareeha winked at me, probably understanding what I was here for. She gave me a thumbs up. Gathering my charisma and courage, I spoke.

"Would you care to dance?" I asked, and Angela seemed shocked by it. She shook her head, smiling at me. I frowned a bit. "Aww come on. I made a bet with Lena I'd get you out here for one dance. I ain't tryin' to lose now." I drawled, and she giggled, as I offered my hand. She looked at it, before placing her hand in mine. They were so soft. Leading her out to a spot where we had a bit of space, I could see Jack raise his eyebrows at me, seemingly impressed I even got her to dance.

I smiled. I took her hand in mine, raising it up, resting the other one on her waist. I couldn't help but feel happy. Possibly the alcohol getting to me. "So we have this down. One hand on your waist, the other in my hand. Your hand rests on the frame of my back." I repeated what she recited during that one night on the rooftop. A night I won't soon forget. This time was similar to that one, except much less spacious.

"Well then I suppose we just sway with the wind." Angela said, raising an eyebrow at me. I laughed. "I say we can do more than that." I twirled her, as she spun gracefully, and I pulled her closer. An unspoken happiness was shared between us, and we both grinned, beginning to run through the steps like the one fateful night. Admittedly I wanted more than a kiss on the cheek this time.

For a bit, we forgot the world around us, the crowd moving and giving us the space we desired. We didn't speak, just let our movements tell the story. Each spin, each step, each twirl, was something magnificent to behold. I was happy I could be the man to do this with her.

She laughed. For once, it wasn't just controlled or held back and stifled by a hand. She let it loose. As we spun together, the world becoming distant. The problems we faced dissolving in the blink of an eye. She took a step forward, I took one back. Each pattern and rhythm familiar. It was something great.

Angela felt eyes on us, subconsciously turning to meet their astonished gazes. Ana smiled, Gabriel was impressed, hell even Jesse and Lena sat and stared in awe. "They're looking at us, Nathan." She said, and I laughed. "Let them know the mysterious Nathan Parker has a woman already. I could get some ice cream and make it just like that one night." I smirked, and she laughed.

The crowd began to stare at us, as we danced in the center, all of the attention on us. People began to take pictures and record, but I didn't focus on that. I was with Angela. And it was spectacular. Being with her was amazing. She made me forget everything I've done wrong, all my mistakes. I could leave behind my past, and become something brand new. I shouldn't think like that. It couldn't last forever. My past will always find me. But that didn't mean I wouldn't enjoy these moments.

There was no space between us much longer, our eyes locked, as I held her close in a warm embrace. I didn't care about anything anymore. Just her, and me. The music was slowly drawing to a close, and our dance began to reach its climax. I dipped her as the music began to end, leaving us in a silent room for a few seconds. Then, applause. People began cheering, and others began to dance once more, the mood officially set for the rest of the night.

When I leaned back, pulling her with me, we stayed intertwined. Our breathing was heavy, our chests moving up and down in a fast pattern, panting. "That was..." Angela stammered, the first time I'd ever seen the doctor flustered. "Angela..." I muttered. "I-"

"Well you two love birds put on quite the show." Jack smiled, and I nodded. "That was fun. I'd be willing to dance with you, if you'd like sir." I smiled as well, and he chuckled. Gabriel gave me a look I couldn't distinguish. Angela looked down for a moment, concerned with something I was oblivious to. Before I could ask, Ana and Reinhardt came up to us. "My Nathan, I never thought you could be quite the romantic." Ana teased, and I blushed. "Please, it was all Angela. I didn't do anything." I grinned, and Angela straightened her back, returning to a respectful position.

"Thank you, for the kind words, Mr. Parker." Angela said. I frowned. She acted like she didn't know me. Something felt like I got stabbed, right there. "If you'll excuse me..." She said, leaving me to the others. I watched as she walked away. Ana gave me a look, and I couldn't tell what it was supposed to mean. Reinhardt patted me on the back, almost breaking my spine doing so. I forced a grin, as they began to leave me alone.

Before I could even process anything, Jesse and Lena ran up to me, flooding me with questions and compliments. I smiled, zoning at a bit. They dragged me off towards the bar, probably to get me even more drunk. Hopefully that would help with this feeling I had suddenly.

Later...

The party was beginning to come to a close. People began to leave, and eventually, it was my job to escort Angela back to base. I sighed, feeling quite tipsy. Jesse and Lena didn't do me any help with this. Soon enough, I was left to my own devices, losing Jesse in the crowd. But I found Angela amidst all the commotion, and I smiled at the sight of her.

She met my eyes for a moment, before turning away. I frowned once more, sad with the way this all turned out. I thought it was going so well. What happened? I wondered the question to myself throughout the entire walk back. It was awkward. We kept a distance between ourselves, and neither of us spoke. I loathed it. The silence was killing me, and my head was pounding.

I was beginning to become wrapped up in my emotions. I barely paid any attention to my surroundings, my feet guiding me. My eyes kept snapping to Angela, who hadn't looked at me the entire path there. It hurt to see that. I had no clue what happened. And it angered me beyond all measure.

The event as a whole wasn't too bad. The dance with Angela made up for the mediocrity of it before. But this felt like such a sad end to a good night. It bugged me, as we reached her room, back where this whole fiasco began. I offered a warm smile. "Thank you, Angela, for the good time. I-I don't know what happened...but I hope you can forgive me, if it has to do with me."

Angela gave me a look. Her eyes met mine, and she smiled softly at me. It wasn't much, but it made me feel a little better about it. She turned to leave me, and enter her room. "G'night, Angie." I grinned for one last time. She paused, one foot in the room, the other in the hallway.

"Verdammt." She cursed.

Her lips met mine in a warm, sweet, and loving kiss. I was shocked, my hands held out in surprise, before I melted into the kiss, placing my right hand on her hip. It felt right. I'd been waiting for the moment for so long. It was unexpected to be sure. But it felt right. I've had these emotions for so long. I never thought she felt this way. I placed my other hand on her cheek. Her hands rested on my chest, and she eventually broke away, much to my dismay.

Our eyes met, and before I could say anything smart or clever, she spoke. "Goodnight, Nathan." Angela closed the door behind her, and I smiled. My hand went to my lips in astonishment, not entirely sure what happened. For a bit, I stood there like an idiot, gawking.

I made sure I gave enough space between her door and I before I celebrated, trying to be sure she wouldn't hear me, jumping up in the air, exclaiming in absolute joy. "YES!"

My mind was going insane, my blood pumping, with my heart racing as fast as ever, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I never thought that would happen. What in the hell? I couldn't even fathom what happened. It felt good. I never thought it could come to that. I decided against telling everyone. It was a tender moment I refused to allow myself to ruin.

As I made my way back to the Blackwatch headquarters, I found Jesse stumbling back in the hallways. I had a grin on my face, and I didn't attempt to hide it. "I think I'm in love." Was all I said. He rolled his eyes, smirking. "You're drunk."

"Can't I be both?"

 **This event had been referenced in the original story so many times I refused to not make a chapter about it. It felt good to write a bit of romance in here. I've always enjoyed the way Angela and Nathan play off of each other. Next chapter is gonna have to do with this one. It'll be a bit more depressing than happy. Let me know how you feel this story is going with a review! I'd appreciate it!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you guys for all the support. It's been really fun to continue writing this series, and I'm glad you guys enjoy it. I'd like to thank Anon for the reviews and kind words. They really mean a lot!**

Chapter 8: Hurt

Last night's past endeavors and indulgence of alcoholic beverages was coming back up to haunt me this morning. I've had my fair share of hangovers in my life, but this one hit hard. I could only assume Jesse was having just as much trouble as me this morning. Though last night wasn't all mistakes and failures. I'd say it was a success. I got a kiss from a woman I was beginning to fall in love with, I spent time with my friends, rarely encountered any snobby reporters trying to frame me for crimes I didn't commit, and got a dance with an angel. All in all, a good night.

Stumbling into the cafeteria as usual, I fumbled with the coffee machine, burning my hand in the process. I was still getting used to these machines, believe it or not. Finding my motivation to stay awake and work in the cup of coffee, full of sugar, 3 spoonfuls actually, and a generally good mood, I smiled. It was like any other morning, waking up at the first cringe of morning, to the smell of breakfast and sound of chatter amongst the many agents. I leaned against the wall, sipping my coffee, observing the cafeteria in my own corner I had adopted.

I struggled to keep my mind on work, rather than last night. But it was basically impossible. I kept to myself, eyeing everyone, making a note of who all I saw. Jack had skipped the meal as usual, stressed out. Ana had settled down with Jesse, speaking about something. Jesse seemed to be having a hard time keeping his eyes open, the alcohol not doing him any favors. Winston, who stuck to his peanut butter and banana, was busy fiddling with some science-y thing I wasn't familiar with, while Lena tried to get his attention. She rarely enjoyed the silence, so talking someone's ear off was something she preferred, much to the annoyance of most people. But Winston tolerated it better than most.

Gabriel, of all people, came up to me. He rarely did so, so I was very attentive. "Hey boss." I grinned, raising my cup of coffee, that passing as a wave hello. He nodded in response, and with a usual grumble, began to make his own coffee. "You alright Gabe?" I asked, much less professional this time, opting for a more personal touch. "I'm fine kid. Don't worry 'bout me." He spoke, his every word laced with as much patience as he could muster. I shut my mouth, able to tell he wasn't in a good mood. I decided not to pry, liking my nose the way it was, and not having it broken. The man always seemed to have something stressing him.

He took his own cup of now fresh coffee, and sipped it. I cringed. He raised an eyebrow. "Got something to say?" He asked, and I sighed. "Just can't understand how ya don't put sugar in yours." I laughed, and he drank more. "Never understood why you always have to have some sort of sugar or caffeine pepping you up." He replied, and I nodded, understanding. "Touché."

We stood in silence, respecting one another's privacy and taste in coffee, and agreed to disagree. Looking at him a bit, he scowled, clearly troubled by something. I exhaled, drinking what was left of my coffee, not trying to bother him at all. I began to place my mug down, and make my way to the shooting range, when Gabriel caught my attention. "Angela wanted to speak to you about something. Figured I'd let you know kid." I frowned, and with a nod, and an affirmative "hmph", I walked towards Angela's office.

The walk there was short, but I couldn't help but worry what was wrong. The woman never made a big deal over nothing, so something had to have happened. Quickening my pace, I moved past many people, gently shrugging past them, my eyes locked in front of me. My mind was running circles, wondering what it was all about. Maybe it had to do with last night. Did I do something?

Arriving at the door in record time, I knocked, and she called out. "Come in!" I did as she said, opening the door, and shutting it behind me softly. I could prevent the grin that came to my lips when I saw her. She lacked the same smile, her eyes serious. That couldn't be good. "Hey Angie..." I muttered, and she sighed, standing from her desk. "Gabriel told me to you had something on your mind. Is everything alright?" I asked, and she didn't answer.

Moving toward her, I reached a hand out. I squeezed her hand softly in mine, but she pulled away. Okay not this really wasn't good. "Did I do something? Is this about last night?" The question made her pause, then look up at me for once. Then it clicked. It all made sense. The kiss. She...she didn't want that did she? It was all some falsehood...a mistake. I was a fool for believing it would even work.

"I-I would be lying, if I said I didn't enjoy that moment...last night." She stammered, and my heart sank. "But...but this can't happen. We cannot go through with this. We are here for work, this...this isn't allowed. These feelings. I'm sorry, but we have to focus on our job and role here. We need to save lives. Relationships are prohibited, and for good reason. It would complicate things." She explained, and I frowned.

"So everything that happened between us...it was fake. You lied, didn't you?" I growled, and she sighed deeply. "It's not like that, Nathan. I can't lie to you and say I don't feel something for you. But I refuse to allow this to get in the way of my work here. Nathan, don't make this harder than it already is." Angela spoke softly, her voice cracking on many occasions.

I looked down in shame, clenching my fists in anger. My trigger fingers began to itch upon hearing her say that. That this was all pointless. That none of it would work. That nothing was there. That she made...a mistake, in feeling this way about me. Looking up, I met her eyes, which held a hint of sadness. "Tell me...tell me it ain't because of Blackwatch...is it?"

Angela didn't answer, but she glanced away, looking to her desk, refusing to look me in the eye. That was all she needed to do, to tell me everything. All of this, was because of my affiliation with Overwatch's covert operations. That she didn't trust me. She thought of me like all the others. Angela didn't believe me, when I said I wasn't some ruthless killer. I could see by the way she looked at me. There was fear. "I see." I mumbled, staring at the ground.

Refusing to hear anymore of it, I began to exit. "I should go." I muttered, reaching for the handle of the door. I fumbled a bit with it, my hands shaking with rage, and bitterness. "Nathan...I'm sorry." She reached out for me, but I shook her hand off of my shoulder. "No. I can't fault you for saying how you feel about me. If it ain't there, it ain't there. I'm glad you shot straight with me. I'll leave you to your work, Dr. Ziegler." The last sentence was filled with venom, as I shut the door behind me. I could hear her try to say something, but I didn't care anymore.

Cutting her voice off, I stomped through the hallways, my eyes stinging, tears threatening to be shed. I refused, moving forward, pushing past other people. She was right. I was a killer. Perhaps it was time I acted like one. My hand snapped to my revolver, anger rising, becoming consumed by the blind rage I was in, the only goal was to hurt someone.

My chest stung. Like something had just stabbed me. I stopped, reaching the shooting range, placing a hand over my heart. My breathing was slowing, and I took a moment to think about it all. No matter what way I looked at it, I always felt the searing pain inside. The way she looked at me, was all I needed to know. The feelings I had for her, were destroyed. That kiss was a cruel taste of what we could've been. But nothing ever worked out how I wanted it.

Later...

So far nothing had worked. I'd spent hours training, shooting the lifeless and emotionless bots down with ease, not even flinching. I could feel eyes on me from the observatory, where Angela was. I didn't give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt me. She wouldn't see me fall apart. The superglue that held me together was benevolence and malicious intent.

The shooting range had not been as satisfactory as I'd hoped. It usually felt relaxing to hear the _dink_ of a bullet passing through the training bots, and they crumpled up into screws and bolts. The smell of oil in the air, along with smoke from the guns. But nothing was able to give me that sense of joy. It was horrible.

Next up I began testing my might against the endless supply of punching bags. Over time I'd destroyed more than I could count, spending an entire hour there. Sweat was dripping down my entire body, giving me a slick look, drenching my clothes. My knuckles were bleeding profusely. But I focused on the pain, the only thing that was real. I imagined the men in my life, those from Deadlock, right in front of me, sending me into a fit of uncontrollable anger, gritting my teeth as my knuckles began to bleed all over the fresh bags. Their laughter sounding in my ears, as they pushed me to my breaking point. The warmth traveled down my arms, the red worms inching up to my forearms. It almost tickled, despite the pain.

"Agent Parker, I'd advise wrapping those wounds up." A hesitant but familiar voice sounded from the observation deck, sounding through the intercom. Turning to where it came from, my fury was directed back towards Angela, her hand up against the glass. Does she think she can make this better?! By showing only the slightest bit of sympathy towards me?! Like she knows what I've went through?! It only fired me up more. Turning back to the punching bag, I gave it one hard right hook, sending it flying off the chains it was hooked to.

"Yes ma'am." Was all I said, grabbing a bit of tape and bandaging it up, my hands shaking. It worked better than the shooting range, I'll give it that. It got my blood pumping more. But it wasn't perfect. I needed a live specimen.

As I wrapped up my hands, I began watching from afar as people were beginning to place bets on something. I focused, seeing men brawling in the octagon. Supposedly it was some sort of arena, good for hand to hand combat training and letting loose some aggression. Usually, I avoided that, ever since Jacob's demise. It reminded me of the spar we both had. When I began to care for the man even more. But now, now it sounded like a satisfying event. I smirked to myself, making my way down to the octagon.

They were holding a betting arena, and I slammed down two hundred dollars, the money I was going to use for my lunches and certain treats. But now I hadn't particularly cared. They cocked their heads at me. "Okay Parker. I see you. I hope you know how to fight. Thomas has been killing it recently! You want to fight him?" He asked, and I nodded. He raised an eyebrow, before taking the money. "Best of luck to ya!"

I began to strip after I entered the bathroom, taking off my shirt, revealing the scars and wounds I sustained in my life. I could remember how I gained all of them. I heard someone enter, and I found an odd sight. Winston had entered, and I was surprised to say the least. "What's up big guy?" I asked, very little emotion shown. He frowned, adjusting his glasses. The scientist had always been awkward in social situations, so I forgave his stuttering and rambling. "I-I came to advise against this. I know that sometimes you want to fight...but you don't seem, how can I put this, mentally stable enough to handle it." He muttered the last part, and I growled, annoyed now.

"Angela send you?" Was all I asked. He looked down, and I could tell that meant yes. "Tell her I'm not in over my head. Tell her to stay out of the way of my work." I said, repeating what Angela had said. Winston sighed. "Whatever happened between you two, you still can't just start destroying everything you see! It's idiotic! I refuse to allow you to just go in there and work yourself to death!" He said, grabbing my wrist. "I'm fine!" I yelled, the anger rising in my voice betraying what I would want him to think. "No you're not! You haven't eaten all day, and you've destroyed more punching bags than I could count! Even you must eat, Nathan."

"I'll eat when I'm hungry. Now, let me go. I'll be fine." He did as I said, letting go of me, as I began to exit. He turned to me. "You look exhausted, Nathan. Please, rest. You have people here who love you. People who need you." He replied, and I stopped, looking back to him. My mind flashed to all my friends. To Jesse, to Lena, to Fareeha and Ana, to Gabriel, to Angela...Angela. I clenched my fists. "Thank you, Winston. But I'll be okay. I promise."

I made my way through the crowd, taking the steps up the cage around the ring. Thomas, who so far was undefeated in this tournament so far, took a look at me. He was cocky, a sly grin on his lips, and a twinkle in his eyes. He nodded at me as I entered. The man had some bruising on his chest from previous matches. His boxing shorts were the only thing he wore, as I wore the same.

"This ain't a dance with Dr. Ziegler, Nathan. I'll try not to hurt you too much." He mocked me, as I scowled, ignoring the taunt. I cracked my knuckles, and craned my neck, readying myself for an attack. A small crowd was around the ring, since it was late in the evening, with most people having the night off, nothing to do. They chanted Thomas's name, and I smiled.

He charged me, and I sidestepped, tripping him, as he crashed into the cage around us. I smirked at him, and the crowd booed. I held my fists up in a fighting stance, and blocked his next few attacks. He swung for the head, which I parried, using his momentum against him, flipping him over my back. While he was down, I straddled him, holding him down, before punching him right in the nose, and in a few punches, he was dazed, and I stopped, looking at him. His smug grin was gone, replaced with a confused stare. I brought my fist down once more, his head colliding with the padded floor with a thud, and his nose began to bleed. He was out cold.

With a satisfied sigh, I stood up, smiling, as the crowd began to cheer. I laughed a bit, raising my hands to the sky. The observation room was full of some people clapping, and I bowed. Angela looked at me, before she turned away, causing me to frown. It still hurt, to be reminded of what happened between us. Winston shook his head, and I began to exit the arena.

Most of them began to congratulate me, with claps on the back and bright smiles. They were laughing at how easily I handled Thomas, who was still struggling to stand. Jesse found me in there, who laughed, hugging me. "Good work man! Gave 'em the ol' one-two." We both grinned.

Soon enough, they wanted us to compete, Jesse and I. Jesse had earned a bit of a reputation for his skill in it, and I saw no reason to stop now. If it was gonna be that easy, why stop? I grinned at Jesse, and we both nodded. This was gonna be fun.

Angela's POV

'How barbaric.'

They had been in the ring for hours, racking up a huge winning. They'd fought against the fast, the strong, and the stupid, and won every time. Soon enough, everyone was betting for the two men. I sighed, placing my head in my hands. It hurt to see this was how Nathan was taking it. He resorted to violence to satisfy his anger. Nathan was exhausted, his swings becoming slower, and his grins were fading. But he kept going. He was working himself to death.

Nathan clearly didn't know how to handle this, and was struggling with what I said. I didn't enjoy telling him that, but I figured it was for the best. What Gabriel told me had been haunting me to whole time. Perhaps kissing Nathan was a mistake. I did exactly what Gabriel said not to do, and I felt guilty about all of it. The man was heartbroken. Each time he would look to me for some sort of acknowledgement, but I never did. I didn't support this behavior.

I expected him to wear out soon, since it was late at night. Most of my coworkers had left, going to sleep. But I refused to leave knowing someone could get hurt doing this. It was going to be another restless night.

As Nathan and McCree were busy giving men and women permanent brain damage, who had to be cared for by the nurses, I tried to get my mind off of what I said to Nathan. I couldn't allow him to prevent me from saving as many lives as possible. Relationships could complicate things, and get me too involved. He was a colleague, not some bachelor. But no matter what I told myself, the familiar sting of guilt would always come back.

I heard loud shuffling behind me, and I turned to find Winston still here. He trotted over towards me, sitting oddly in the chair, huffing audibly. "I didn't expect him to still be doing this..." he muttered, and I nodded. "Same here, but it seems he is determined to keep fighting until he collapses. Perhaps Reinhardt has had too much of an influence on him." I replied, half joking. Winston smiled, before it quickly faded once more.

I watched as Nathan threw the man to the side, while Jesse kneed another man in the stomach, before knocking the man unconscious. It was becoming brutal. Once again, Nathan celebrated, looking to me for some sort of response, but I stared blankly. That earned another frown, and the men and women chanted the two winners names. Winston looked at me. "What happened? Between you two I mean, if you don't mind me asking."

"Nathan is taking rejection in a horrible way. I told him I didn't want our...feelings to intervene and distract us from our mission. Clearly, he's having a hard time accepting it." I explained, and Winston nodded. "I see." A pause came between us, and I placed my head in my hands. "Do you think I did the right thing?" I asked.

Winston didn't respond for a while. He exhaled slowly, and adjusted his glasses once more. "I don't exactly know. Do you?" He returned the question, and I frowned. "The right thing sure does feel wrong at times."

With that, we sat in silence, watching as the two men collected even more money, having faced a large group that time. The crowd around him began to separate, making room for one more man. He stared at Nathan, not even moving. I recognized the man. Genji.

Nathan's POV

Jesse backed out of this one, not wanting any part of this. He wanted me to do the same, warning me of what the cyborg had done in these fights. He told me stories of men barely breathing, some with multiple broken bones. But I ignored his tales, as they were always exaggerated and foolish. Then again, I had seen what Genji could do.

For once, as the cyborg stared me down from across the ring, I felt a sudden fear hit me. This wasn't gonna be easy.

The man was fast. Like lightning fast. He quickly charged me, as I blocked his attack, and jumped over his sweeping kick. He backed up, dodging my swing skillfully, grabbing my arm, and flinging me to the ground like a rag doll. I groaned in pain, as I could've sworn he chuckled. "C'mon cowboy." I stood up, and dodged a jab he threw my way, punching him in the chest, which hurt my hand more than it did him. I retreated backwards a step, looking at my hand, before he kicked me right in the temple, and I hit the floor with a loud bang.

The world was spinning around me, and I could hear the familiar ringing in my ears, drowning out the crowds yelling and screaming. Slowly rising, I refused to give up, as Jesse looked at me, saddened. I offered a weak smile, spitting the blood that rushed into my mouth. Before I could stand completely, a foot met my exposed ribs, knocking the wind out of me, forcing me back to the ground.

But I began to stand up, my arms struggling to push myself back up. But I stood, on my own two feet, facing the cyborg once more. He knocked me back down with ease, punching me right in the mouth, then sweeping me to the floor. I growled, rolling back over, beginning to stand. I refused to give up. I won't just roll over like some beat dog. All the lessons my father taught me came back in a surge of strength. He always said to get back up when you get hit. Even though everyone told me to stay down, I wouldn't just quit. I'd stand my ground. And if I died doing so, so be it.

My feet were wobbling, and I struggled to balance myself, but I stood up. The crowd was cheering for Genji. I could hear them telling him to finish me off. Genji shook his head, and dropped his fighting stance. I frowned, confused. Before I could even ask him, he pulled me into a hug. It was the first time he'd ever shown anything but hatred towards me. He didn't say anything, but he sighed, holding me close. Despite the metallic touch, he still felt warm. He still felt human.

When we broke, I smiled. It was a weak, but genuine smile. I couldn't tell if he was because of the metal plate covering the bottom half of his face, but a part of me swore he smiled as well, some of his muscles contracting and pulling upwards, like he was grinning. The crowd was quiet, confused by what just happened. Genji took a long look at me, placed a hand on my shoulder, and nodded. "You must rest, Nathan." The words were quick, and even quicker than that, he made his way out of the ring, and down the hallway. I watched as he left, keeping his eyes forward. He was quite the mystery, and I had yet to figure him out.

I silently thanked him for doing so, as I could feel the bruising and wear and tear on my body begin to settle in. I winced, placing a hand on my sore jaw, having taken too many punches there. Turning, I gave one last look to Angela, who offered a bland, weak smile. I returned the same, before becoming dizzy. The crowd around me stared at me, as Jesse strived to reach me in time. I fumbled with my way out of the ring, the agents all making way for me.

I slipped on a stair, and Jesse caught me mid fall. He grunted, lifting my arm over his shoulder. "C'mon, I'm bringing you to Doc." He said, and my eyes widened. No. I struggled a bit, dragging my feet, but I was too weak to muster up the strength necessary to stop him. Jesse helped me down there, oblivious to what happened between us. I decided not to even tell him. There was no reason to.

Soon enough, we were in the med bay, with nurses tending to my wounds, and stitching up my knuckles, which were beginning to swell. Jesse had his wounds cleaned quickly, and they told him he could leave. He offered me a warm smile, and grabbed his hat, and left me alone.

Wincing as they cleaned up a cut under my left eye. They turned to someone, who I didn't notice enter. My ears were still ringing slightly, so I couldn't make out who it was by the sound of their voice. Not until the nurses exited the room, leaving me with a woman I was killing myself over, Angela. "Aren't you going to scold me?" I asked, looking down at my hands. The doctor sighed, and rummaged through multiple drawers, finding what she required, and using it. She scanned for anymore undetected wounds, and stared at me. "I wish you hadn't done that. That was reckless."

I sighed, closing my eyes. "I know." Was all I said. She began to speak, but stopped, surprised by what I said. I suppose she expected me to resist, justify and defend my actions. But I knew they were stupid. But they were all I could think of. Angela meant a lot to me. Hell she still means a lot to me. But the words she said pushed me past a breaking point.

"You know? Then why did you keep doing this to yourself?" She asked, and I hesitated with the answer. I didn't want to bring up this morning. It hurt to even think about. But I felt like I'd be lying if I didn't tell her what it did to me. I had a feeling she already knew. "This morning, I-"

I was abruptly stopped mid sentence, with the door opening behind her, and we both turned to see Captain Amari, hands on her hips, looking like more of a disappointed mother than a commanding officer. "Nathan." She spoke softly, then she sighed. "May I have a moment alone with him?" Ana asked Angela, and she nodded. "Of course." Angela then turned to me. "I trust you'll behave yourself." She whispered, and I almost laughed, despite the circumstances.

Angela retreated behind Ana, and turned the corner, closing the door behind her. As soon as we were alone, her brows furrowed, staring me down, as I huddled back against the bed I sat on a bit. She took steps towards me, and before I could explain myself, a sharp sting met my left cheek, as she smacked me right across the face. I held my cheek in pain, wincing, feeling that open up the recently bandaged cut. "I suppose I deserved that." I muttered, and she growled. "You deserve so much more! What were you thinking?!" She yelled, scolding me. It reminded me of my mother. She even sounded like her at times.

"I-I" I struggled to formulate a sentence that wouldn't make me look like even more of an idiot. "You're an idiot! You remind me of Jack with how reckless that was! I thought I taught you better than to work yourself to death! Now look at you. All beat to hell! I wish Genji didn't go easy on you, fool!" Ana yelled, and I closed my eyes, refusing to look her in the eye. Her hand forced my chin upwards, as her eyes contained a fire like no other. "So, what caused this? Or are you just that reckless?"

Her judgmental eyes burned into my soul, even when I tried to avoid them. "I-I..." I stammered, and I couldn't help but feel like the fool she called me. 'Idiot! Say something! We really are this stupid!' I began to scold myself as well, and Ana sighed. "It was Angela, wasn't it?"

I gulped nervously. It was like she read my mind. I nodded, my voice failing me. Ana placed her hands on her hips, shaking her head at me. "Foolish. Did you think it would work between you two? The woman has better things to do than date you! Look at you. Throwing away your life because some woman didn't date you! You're an idiot, Nathan. I'm disappointed in you."

She was right. I was an idiot. Angela wouldn't ever want me. I can't believe I ever fooled myself into believing otherwise. I was delusional. Dreaming. Avoiding Ana's gaze, I kept my eyes down, keeping my mouth shut. I didn't want to say anything else. Ana was right. She always was.

"You love her, don't you?"

The words surprised me, her tone much softer, and when I looked up, she smiled softly. For a moment, I contemplated that question. Hell who was I kidding it wasn't even a question. I fell for her the moment I laid eyes on her. I nodded. "Yeah. Y-Yeah I do." I spoke up for once, having found my voice. Captain Amari took a seat beside me, placing a loving hand on my head, ruffling my hair. "I know you do. I can always tell. Just by the way you speak about the woman, shows how madly in love you are." She said, and I smiled.

We sat together for a few seconds, as she closed her eyes for a moment. "She loves you too, you know that?" Ana asked, and I shook my head. "But she just-"

"Listen." She interrupted. "She let you go, because she loves you. She doesn't want to see you hurt. The woman speaks highly of you, and there is that same look in her eyes when she says your name. Do you think she would spend all her time on you if she didn't care for you? All those times you two are together, I can tell how you both feel. And I know it may be hard now, but trust me, it's worth the fight."

Ana stood from the bed, those words giving me a newfound confidence and happiness, as she smiled down on me. "Now don't get yourself killed. Angela would miss you." That sentence made me feel something. It wasn't the pain of the wounds I sustained. It wasn't the sting in my chest I felt when I thought of what happened between Angela and I. It was pride. An odd, misplaced pride.

I stood up, and pulled the woman into a tight hug. "You'd miss me too." I said, and she chuckled. "Don't get too cocky." We broke apart, and I smiled at her, as she exited the room.

While the door was still closing, Angela opened it back up, entering once more. She raised an eyebrow at me, and a soft grin met her lips. "You're free to go. I'll be keeping an eye on you though, just in case." She said, and I nodded, beginning to walk past her. Her hand caught mine, and I turned to her. "Are you-" She began, but I nodded, and she stopped.

"Yeah." Was all I said. Despite the new confidence and inspiring words from Amari, seeing Angela still hurt. I had no idea how to address it, so I left it at that, leaving her in the room. I didn't turn back, as I turned the corner. No matter what I did to suppress it, there was still a pain. It still hurt.


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter will be going back and forth between Mercy's and Nathan's POV. I wanted to showcase what they both go through on a regular basis when one of them is away on a mission, but this one proves to be different from all the others. One that neither of them soon forget. I hope you all enjoy!**

Chapter 9: Recklessness

Angela's POV, during the last chapter when Nathan is with Ana...

The anger I felt towards Nathan's actions was insurmountable. He was so needlessly reckless, and took what I said even worse than I expected. He had been battling his demons all day, and it's starting to weigh on him heavily. Keeping his feelings bottled up all the time, and then the only time he ever lets them out is with acts of aggression and violence. I was beginning to contemplate asking him about his past once more, in hopes of getting his anger out in some other way, but Captain Amari had entered before I could do so.

Nathan seemed to back down as soon as Amari entered, and I could feel a spark of fear be sent through him. He had respect for the woman, much more than most, and even cared for her. He rarely spoke of their relationship between one another, but I could tell there was a bond between them.

I wish Nathan could understand where I was coming from. Of course I have feelings for him I've still yet to come to terms with, but I didn't want it to cause a conflict with our work. His work in Blackwatch was vital to Overwatch's function, and I needed to focus on my patients and research. He took it as a personal insult, rather than me trying to come to a mutual agreement. Though I couldn't deny I felt horrible doing it to him, and to see the pain he hid away from me so quickly. He turned cold in a blink.

But the truth was, a part of me feared him. I knew of his past before Blackwatch, and I was painfully aware of the deaths he was responsible for, but what pushed me away most was Blackwatch. The rumors I hear, although just rumors, are enough to insight fear of them being true. And those nights he comes back covered in blood only provide more evidence of corruption in Blackwatch. The times he decides to withhold the truth of what he's doing in those missions is enough to make me suspicious.

Although I cared about the man, and wanted to see him do well, and live a good life, I doubted his intentions at times. He may have a charming smile and personality, but was that real, or all a cruel ploy to distract me from his actions? As much as I wanted to deny it because of all the time I'd spent with him, I couldn't completely write that possibility off. Blackwatch taught many skills, from ways to kill, interrogation techniques, and most importantly of all, manipulation.

I was heading back to the med bay, to speak with Nathan on his condition, after giving Ana time to speak with him of course, which I figured was her scolding him for his actions. I wasn't entirely against her doing so. As I neared the entrance to the door, I could tell my prediction wasn't too far off. She was yelling about him being an idiot. But what wasn't so predictable was why she was saying that.

"Foolish. Did you think it would work between you two? The woman has better things to do than date you! Look at you. Throwing away your life because some woman didn't date you! You're an idiot Nathan. I'm disappointed in you." I could overhear the conversation, with the older woman yelling at him. I sighed, realizing this was probably about me. I knew he was using this violence as a coping mechanism, but I didn't know he'd reveal it to her. I frowned, the feeling of guilt washing over me. I had hurt him more than I anticipated.

There was a pause between them, before Ana spoke up again. "You love her, don't you?"

That certainly caught my attention. I wasn't one to eavesdrop, but I couldn't prevent myself from listening in. I heard him sigh deeply, and I expected a no in response. "Yeah. Y-Yeah I do." He muttered, and the hallway became much hotter, as my eyes widened. He loved me? Nathan Parker, the infamous outlaw and killer, cared for me on that kind of a level? I was flattered of course, but why? I didn't expect that kind of emotional response from him. Of course he flirted and I flirted back at times, despite me telling myself not to, but this was something much more.

"I know you do." Ana spoke up, and she continued quickly, and I kept listening. "I can always tell. Just by the way you speak about the woman, shows how madly in love you are." She teased, and I began to blush myself, becoming admittedly nervous. "She loves you too, you know that?"

The blush had reached a new intensity, leaving my face hot, my cheeks flushing. I subconsciously held my clipboard close to my chest. My mind tried to deny that fact, with all the times I'd felt hatred towards him, but I couldn't keep the facade up forever. He was closer to me than most. Maybe that was my fault for letting it get that way in the first place. But I didn't really mind it all that much. Having someone to lean on was very useful.

"But she just-" Nathan tried to retort, but was quickly silenced. "Listen. She let you go because she loves you. She doesn't want to see you hurt. The woman speaks highly of you, and there is that same look in her eyes when she says your name. Do you think she would spend all her time on you if she didn't care for you? All those times when you two are together, I can tell how you both feel. I know it may be hard now, but trust me, it's worth the fight."

I had spent so long telling myself the opposite of that, but when I could hear someone else other than me say it, I could recognize what I felt. All those moments we had together. The walks, the night we danced underneath the stars like in all the romance holovids, the flirting, the kiss that one night. It all clicked. We both had something. Maybe I was too blind to see it, or I was trying to keep my feelings to myself, but it was there.

For a moment, I was there dumbfounded as they spoke a bit more, as I blushed as she said I'd miss him, which was true. I soon snapped to my senses, pretending to be just arriving. A bit of me felt guilty for listening in on something so private. It was rude of me, but it's too late now.

The door opened, and Ana smiled at me, and placed a hand on mine. "You're lucky. You have something most women don't ever get." She whispered, before leaving. I stood there, mind rushing with thoughts and emotions. I held a hand out to stop the door, entering the room once more.

As I told him about his condition, my mind blanked out, thinking of everything else. Of Nathan. He didn't seem as troubled as before, but something was there that he held back. Something he kept hidden away behind his eyes. I found myself staring into them, searching for the truth. He offered a weak smile, standing up to leave. I stopped him, grabbing his hand. They were still rough from the fighting today, but surprisingly warm and comforting.

"Are you-" I began, but he answered before I could finish the question. "Yeah." He said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze, before leaving. I watched as he went, his eyes straight ahead, and he didn't hesitate. I expected him to look back or something, but he never did. Something was there, and I didn't exactly know what. He hid it well, despite him opening up to Captain Amari. I shut the door as I left too, walking to the opposite side of the hallway.

Nathan's POV, during present mission...

I ducked behind the shot, the bullet just barely whizzing by my head. I let out a "phew", turning to my right. Gabriel and Jesse were occupied with the other gang members in this firefight, and Genji was busy in the back lines. "Son of a bitch." I gritted my teeth, looking up at the sky for a moment.

In hindsight, we weren't very prepared for this mission.

This one was supposed to be relatively easy, taking an hour tops, especially with Blackwatch's best seeing this through. The gang we were after had been trouble as long as I could remember in Blackwatch, as we'd been hunting them for a long time. They were docked here, shipping volatile chemicals and bombs across the borders, and were linked to several bombings, including the one during my mission with Ricky and the others. This one was personal.

The problem still stood though, we were severely outgunned, and underestimated our opponents. They had been ready for us, and ambushed us, pinning us down here. Our pilot was still holding off the forces on his end, while we dealt with the clusterfuck of oncoming fire on our side. This wasn't going so well.

Jesse had taken a shot to the arm, and Gabriel was still trying to contact Overwatch and let them know what was going on. Genji was still back there, and I had no idea how to contact him. Our communications were down, and a crowd of angry gang members armed to the teeth stood between us. We'd been in this situation for about an hour now, slowly pushing them back. It was a sluggish mission, but we were here to see it through.

"Sir, Genji is still back there!" I yelled over to him, and he grunted. "I know!" He replied over the gunfire. "Any bright ideas?" Jesse asked, popping out and firing a few shots. "Just one!" I said. It relied heavily on me being reckless and not giving a shit about my wellbeing, and as luck would have it, I didn't. I figured with Genji and I, we could pincer them between two fronts, and they wouldn't be able to handle it.

"Lay down covering fire!" I yelled towards them. Gabriel frowned. "What are you doing?!" He asked, as I rolled out of cover. "Something stupid!" I answered, and Gabriel grunted. "God damnit kid!" I dodged the bullets, grabbing a large shard of metal from a recent explosion, using it as a shield to defend myself. I could hear the ding of each shot hitting metal, as the force was knocking me back. Reinhardt made it look easy.

The make shift shield was becoming hot to the touch, and damaged, chipping off bit by bit, as I kept moving forward. I felt a shot enter my calf, and it flew right out the other side. I groaned, wincing as a fire shot up my leg. Genji was worth the risk, he helped me, and I wasn't gonna leave him to die any time soon. He may not be the friendliest, but I considered him a friend at most, and a squad mate at the very least.

My free hand reached out for my hip, which held the last of my grenades. I smirked, giving it a kiss for good luck, and tossing it over the top of my shield. The explosive bounced into the middle of them, and they tried to escape its blast. They were much too late, a hole being blown in their defense, leaving a lane open for me. I ran through them, hoping with all the commotion I could get through to Genji.

A bullet entered my side, and I grunted, falling to my knees, I held it up, blocking the shots fired, before I couldn't hold it any longer. I fell down, expecting to be riddled with bullets. They all aimed at me, and I closed my eyes, ready to meet my violent end.

But fate smiled upon me today. Three of the gang members became new owners of freshly brandished shurikens, all lodged in their skulls. I snapped to my feet, thanking Genji silently, as he dashed in, slicing through them quickly. I withdrew my gun, firing at those who planned to shoot Genji in the back. He deflected those shot at my back in turn. We were like a well oiled machine, ripping and tearing through them. One charged me with a knife, and I flipped him over my back, and he landed with a thud. The cyborg's sword made quick work of him.

Gabriel and Jesse joined in the fun, distracting the others. They were pinned against one another. The intimidating Commander Reyes and cowboy Jesse McCree on one side, with the legendary Genji Shimada and sharpshooter Nathan Parker on the other. They didn't last very long, as most would expect.

My eyes widened as a sniper on one of the rooftops zoomed in on Genji, his sights on his chest. I yelled out to him. "Duck!" He did as I said, not questioning it, as the bullet grazed his metallic frame, and I took a quick shot at the would be cyborg killer, which left what remained of his brains splattered along the wall behind him. Genji seemed impressed. "Hmm. Nice shot." He complimented, and I nodded at him, offering a smile. "Let's just say we're even." I replied, as we stood back to back, killing what remained of the soon to be extinct group of gang members. "Deal." He chuckled, his laughter a rare sound.

Soon enough, we were the only ones left. I smiled, looking at a job well done. Genji went back to check on the pilot who accompanied us. That left Jesse and Gabriel with me, who were pretty happy with the results. Gabriel offered his bland point of view of the whole scenario, and told me job well done. Jesse gave his own sort of version of the "badassery", as he put it, which gave a more heroic version, rather than a reckless plan. I remembered why I did it, and it gave me chills. I was reckless, but it was for something I didn't like to talk about. It was a day that had been engraved into my mind.

I shook it off, smiling at Jesse as he continued his tale of my epic charge into battle. I looked behind him, as four snipers took position behind him, lining up a shot. I frowned, throwing Jesse to the side, getting him out of their sights. "Step right up." I said, the words oddly echoing, sounding loud and prominent. Gabriel was caught off guard, still drawing his shotguns. I stared at them, and within seconds, and four shots, four men hit the ground.

I blew out the smoke from my gun, as I smirked, proud of that little moment. I felt like the cowboys in all the holovids for once. It felt nice, to be a hero. To be able to protect those you loved. Jesse let out a shrill yell. "Holy shit!" I turned to him, placing my weapon back in it's holster. "How in the hell?" He asked, and I shrugged. "I just saw them, and shot them. Nothing much to it." He slugged me in the arm, and I groaned. "Bullshit that was badass!" He retorted, seeming like a kid on Christmas Day. I smiled. Gabriel clapped me on the back. "Good work kid."

We both began to make our way back to the drop ship, where Genji would be getting an earful about what Jesse was yammering on about. I mean, it was pretty cool, but he was very excited. Gabriel was already becoming annoyed by it all. I smirked. It was good to be with these guys. I loved them, in my own way. They were family. An odd, dysfunctional family. But a family all the same.

Angela's POV

I placed my head in my hands, sighing. It had been 6 hours since Reyes' planned mission that was supposed to take 4 hours began. I was growing worried, as they hadn't answered any calls back to them, or updated their progress. Jack had been working hard to reach out to them, worried for Gabriel. I was fearful for what happened to the others accompanying him as well, especially Nathan.

He had been showing signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and serious antisocial behavior. Whenever someone approached him, besides Jesse, he usually pushed them away. He'd been holding onto a photo from his past that I couldn't get a good look at, uncertain as to what it was. All I knew was that Nathan held it very close to him, not wanting to lose it. He snatched it off the ground in a hastily fashion when he dropped it one day.

Despite my best efforts to convince him this was irrational and unsafe behavior, he didn't cease his attitude. Something about him changed. I still didn't know what it was. I was about to write a notice to Reyes about this abnormal behavior, but Nathan was already off on a mission today before I could try and reach out to him. I still cared for the man, yet he distanced himself from everyone, including me.

Now, I was beginning to worry for his physical wellbeing along with his mental health. He was beginning to become reckless, and when he was leaving to enter the drop ship with his gear, I tried to give him a piece of my mind. But he ignored it. I yelled at him, wanting him to come back. He turned, smiled at me, and shrugged. I was going to say something, but he turned a corner, leaving me to myself.

I've been worried ever since. I'd been trying to keep working, but it's been bothering me the entire day. I've yet to get much done today. Nathan has been on my mind for a long time now, in many different ways. I wanted to apologize to him, but his reactions to me approaching have usually consisted of him excusing himself from the conversation, or distracting himself with work. I guess I was getting a taste of my own medicine.

Nathan hasn't ever given me reason to doubt him, especially in the field, but I didn't know if he'd be able to handle all the gang members himself. Even with his skill, and intelligence in a fight, he couldn't handle an ambush. It was only him, Gabriel, Jesse, and Genji. All of them skilled, but no match for an entire gang that was well armed. I sighed, pressing a button, hearing a robotic voice come over the intercom in my office. "Yes, Dr. Ziegler?" It responded to the command, and I placed a hand on my chin. "Time since last call to Commander Reyes?" I asked, and the AI, Athena replied. "39 minutes and 12 seconds."

I groaned, placing my head on my desk. This was reaching a boiling point. I couldn't get any work done, let alone if there was any work. I never was one to become easily bored, finding ways to spend my time. But for now, I had nothing on my schedule to distract me, for once. I rarely had the time off. The news was becoming annoying, reporting on the same story for the fifth time this day. "Athena, turn the news off. I need to focus."

"Of course." Athena responded, and silence engulfed the room. I smiled a bit, happy with the quiet. It was good to just relax every once and a while. I closed my eyes, leaning back in my chair, drumming my fingers on the desk in front of me. "Dr. Ziegler?" Athena spoke up, and I raised an eyebrow, eyes still closed. "Hmm?"

"May I at least put on some music?" I chuckled in amusement. "No. Try and contact Nathan and the others again will you?" I asked, and she responded quickly. "Yes ma'am."

I sat there, resting my eyes, as Athena checked for them. I guess Nathan was right. Relaxing at times wasn't all that bad. Perhaps I should thank him after I slap him when he gets back. "Nathan's drop ship is landing in the hangar now." Athena said, and my eyes snapped open. So much for relaxation. "Mein Gott Athena why didn't you say something?!" I rushed from my desk, hearing the AI chuckle. "You owe me this. Let's see how fast you are now." She taunted. Perhaps Winston programmed the AI too well. Nathan was gonna have a lot to answer for.

Nathan's POV

I held the photo in my hands. It was old, ripped in one corner, and a bullet hole going through the bottom left corner. I smirked, remembering the shot that almost killed me, but grazed the photo and I. Placing it back in my pocket, I felt us touch down, readying myself for a lot of scolding from Angela. I sighed, looking over at Genji, who was being talked to by Jesse. Although Genji ignored him, Jesse kept talking, telling the story of what I did for the 15th time, always adding exaggerated things and more heroics and deeds than the last rendition. He reminded me of Reinhardt. A chuckle escaped me, as Genji rolled his eyes, slinging his bag of gear over his shoulder.

Standing, I held my bag in one hand, lazily slouching. I was tired, and not looking forward to what Angela had to say. I purposely ignored her warnings, telling her I'd be fine. I guess she really did care.

The hatch opened, and Jesse began walking down, holding his hands out in celebration. The others awaiting us didn't have the same look. Jack and Ana had their arms folded, staring right at Gabriel. Angela stood beside them, hands on her hips, her eyes piercing into mine. I offered a wave hello, that she didn't return. Jesse was still as excited as before. "Aaaand we are back! Alive!" He smiled brightly, stepping towards Jack and Ana. "What? You had any reason to doubt your success? I want a full report!" Jack said, and Jesse laughed. Genji spoke with Angela about something, and they both turned to me, before he returned back to me. "I told her to go easy on you." He nodded, and I smiled. "Thanks Genji." I said, and he smacked my arm playfully. "It was nothing." He replied, before leaving.

"Sure thing Commander. You'll like what you read! Nathan was nothin' short o' amazin' sir! He was practically a living revolver! He never missed a shot!" Jesse began enthusiastically as Jack frowned, looking at me. I offered a shrug, as Angela began moving towards me. She didn't look very happy. "I wish ya could'a been there Captain Amari! Nathan was fast! ...Well faster than usual ya know... and he-"

Ana interrupted him, holding a hand up. She offered a tired but oddly delighted smile. "We'll finish this over tea. You can tell me all about Nathan and his heroics then, child." She replied, and Jesse nodded at me. "Sure. Your tea is legend ma'am!"

Ana began to walk over to Gabriel, who was already getting his ass chewed out by an infuriated Jack, which I made sure to avoid. But Angela stood right in front of me, and I frowned, scratching the back of my neck. "Hey." I smiled softly, and she scowled at me. "Anything to say for yourself?" She asked, and I cleared my throat, gripped my bag, and pushed past her. She was right on my heels. "On no you don't! You do not walk away from me! You nearly got yourself killed! You willingly put yourself in danger just to get away from everything?! Need I remind you these missions are of utmost importance, and are not for some leisurely stroll?!" She yelled, following me as I made my way through the hallways, receiving my fair share of looks from fellow agents. I quickened my pace in hopes of escaping, which failed miserably.

"What were you thinking?! First you ignore my messages! You don't respond to the incoming calls for updates! You lie to my face about this whole thing! And most of all you go on a mission without me giving you permission to go on it! You were not cleared for the operation!" She followed me, as I growled, stopping in my tracks, turning to her.

"ENOUGH!" I yelled, overpowering her voice. "I know I lied to you. I know I wasn't cleared for it. I knew you'd hate me for risking my life like that. But I did it anyways. Yeah maybe I was reckless, and almost got myself killed, and got shot twice this mission alone, but I got the job done! Don't go telling me how to do my job!" I spat back all of the anger and rage she projected onto me back to her. I turned to walk away, but she grabbed my wrist.

"You have to be the most insensitive, cruel, manipulative, idiotic, irrational, irresponsible, reckless, and evil person I've ever met! I can't believe I ever even liked having you around!" Angela jabbed her finger into my chest, and I gripped her wrist, stopping it. "SHUT UP!"

That silenced her, as she looked up at me. I towered over her, erupting in a fit of rage. "You don't have the right to tell me what to do! You are not in charge here! I'm in charge of my decisions! You don't know everything I've been through! You don't know how it feels to hit rock bottom! You hold yourself above me in such a cruel manner! You think you're better than me! And maybe you are! But you will not tell me how to do my god damn job! Perhaps you have some moral high ground because of your past actions, but I'm getting my job done! I do whatever I have to do to see my work completed! You will NOT tell me what to do!" She backed down, as I stared daggers into her eyes.

"You've never had to deal with what I've dealt with! To see all the shit I've seen! To see your friends die around you! To feel the pain I've felt! How it feels to be truly alone! To hold your friends corpse in front of you! To feel their life slowly seep out of them in your arms! To see your OWN parents in a pool of blood beside you! To bury your own fucking parents! Don't you tell me what I did wrong! Don't tell me how much better you are than me! Don't. You. Dare." I snarled at her, as she gasped.

I frowned, pausing and realizing what I said. I told her about my parents. I snapped at her. A woman I loved. This wasn't her fault. All of this...I took it out on her. Suddenly my legs were weak, and the photo of my parents and I in my pocket became much heavier. Angela reached her hand out to my cheek. I turned away. "That's what happened to your parents? Nathan...I'm sorry...that's what this was all about." She muttered, and I sighed.

We looked at one another, and I was becoming lost in her eyes. She was so beautiful, so innocent. She could be mine, if I only reached for it. I closed my eyes, feeling a tear threaten to reveal itself. Her hand touched my chest, and I turned around. "I-I should go." I stuttered, as my grip on the bag tightened. Everything felt heavy, as I hastily fumbled with my gear, and stumbled across the hallway, disappearing behind a corner, trying to calm down. "Why did you fucking say that you idiot?" I asked myself, slamming my head into the wall.

Now she knew. She was gonna look at me differently. She already did. Like she pitied me. I didn't want Angela's pity. I didn't want anyone's pity. The dreaded date I had awaited for so long was here. The date of my parents murder was tomorrow. Everything seemed to come crumbling down, as I collapsed into my bed in the barracks, alone for once. I slipped the photo out of my pocket again, staring at it. We were all smiling happily together, as a family. Or at least my parents were. Despite the wear and tear it bore, I kept it very close. It was precious to me. I was with my parents, when I was a few months old. I had cuddled up to my mother's chest, who was wearing a white blouse, as I was sleeping soundly, with my mother and father smiling down at me. My father wore a dress shirt, as always, with a clean shaven appearance and perfect smile. He was always very concerned with his appearance. They were proud of me. Their little baby. Their son. Nathan Parker. A stray tear was shed, as I wiped it away from my cheek.

I flipped the photo over, analyzing the back. On the back, hastily scribbled in a blue pen, was a promise I made. I've kept it every year, and this time would be no exception.

 _I'll be back home, I promise._


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Sorry for the longer wait than usual. I've been busy and had a bit of writer's block. This one took a while, since I've been rewriting it multiple times. I've been trying to get the dynamics between Nathan and Angela right. I always love the way they both play off of one another, and I'm trying to make it feel as natural as possible. Idk...lemme know what you think with a review. I'd really appreciate it!**

Chapter 10: A Flawed Heart

The familiar heat of my hometown was enough to send chills down my spine, oddly enough, despite the warm weather. The road was just how I remembered it, not much out of place. A few cars here and there, and a new building a few blocks from my neighborhood. I could make out where my house once was, hoping no one decided to build over the ashes of my home. The road was almost completely deserted, anybody that was once here was long gone, or waiting behind a corner. My hand instinctually snapped to my holster, which held my means to survival around these parts.

I felt the wind tug at my hat, as I used a hand to pull it back down to it's place on my head. The road was quiet, like it always was. Not many people turned up around here. And the ones that did didn't usually stay too long. Mostly because of the Deadlock presence, which ruled with an iron fist over these people. Overwatch was working to shut it down entirely, but they were spread pretty far around the country, and finding them was the easy part. Taking them out was difficult.

The sun was beating on the back of my neck, as I grinned to myself, reminiscing all of the memories I made here. From my childhood down to my last moments in Deadlock. Not all of them happy, but some of them shined bright enough to distract from the darkness. I could remember Jesse and I first meeting not too far from here. My childhood, despite being haunted and overpowered with the horrible things that happened to me, was still happy at times, full of joy and life. I had a good life before all this happened. A normal life. Just a mischievous kid who got up to trouble in this small town. Everyone knew my name, all for something different. For the former neighbors, it was for my troublemaking. For the kids who were here, it was for my comedy and jokes.

And for Deadlock... a former member. A cherished member even. I had a rough start in the gang, but worked my way up through the ranks, my ability to be the first one to draw keeping me alive. A lot of people resented me, for being so young yet having quite a bit of power. All I would have to do is pull a few strings, and have you murdered. Or if I fancied it, do it myself. I never was afraid to get my hands dirty. And I guess that's what let me do so well in that kind of environment. The place was harsh, but it's rules were simple. Kill or be killed. There was only one kind of man you could trust, and that was a dead man. And I intended to live, and as luck would have it, here I am, in my former territory.

Squinting, I could make out the shadow of someone resting against a brick wall that had been torn down and demolished for the most part. Graffiti covered what remained of it, the former red brick now decorated with bright neon colors and gang symbols. And a good bit of them were Deadlock. As I kept moving forward, I found something I wasn't expecting.

It was a child, leaned up against the wall. His auburn hair was bleaching from all its exposure to the sun, and his skin was tanned, almost red even. His clothes were tattered and full of rips and tears. The clothes suggested he once had a home, and a semi decent one at that. They seemed to be once full of color, now displaying a bleak greenish type of color. His knees had many scrapes and bruises, along with his arms. His hands were filthy. A lot like mine during my time in the streets. His eyes, that I could assume were once full of life and joy, were now cold and harsh, suspicious of everything.

When I stopped and looked at him, he cocked his head, dried lips separating in a light smack, his eyes analyzing my face, confused about something. "You ain't from 'round here are you? I don't recognize ya." The boy muttered, his throat clearly as dry as his lips, his voice cracking and weak. He looked brittle, and like he hadn't eaten in days. The familiar pang of hunger hit me, reminded of what happened to me all those years ago. His green eyes didn't waver, looking right at me. "I used to live here." I answered, and he seemed put off by that. "You used to live back there?" He inquired, motioning to my former neighborhood just down the street.

A pause came between us, as I looked at the kid. I only nodded, and the kid shrugged. "Folks think the place is haunted." He mumbled, but offered a weak smile. "You a ghost?" The kid attempted to make a joke, and I offered a light snicker. It sure felt like I was at times. "What are you doing around here kid?" I asked, and he shuddered. "I live 'ere."

The response disturbed me. This was no place for a kid to live. This was no way for anyone to live. I took a step forward, and he inched back, his hand grasping a rock, a warning to keep my distance. "Easy kid. I ain't gonna hurt you." I held my hands out, trying to ease him back down. His eyes glanced to my revolvers, and back to my eyes. "I've heard that before. Think I ain't see that gun?" He snorted, and I sighed, fumbling with the straps that holstered the guns to my sides. With a click, they plummeted to the ground, and I took a step over them, towards the wary child.

"I've got water, if you'd want some." I offered, revealing my jug of water. His eyes widened at it, licking his lips ever so slightly. I smiled, pulling it out of my bag, taking a sip to show a sign of good fortune, and that there wasn't anything in it to harm him. Handing it to him, his feeble hands grasped the jug, lifting it up to his lips, his arms barely strong enough to hold the weight. His eyes never left me, aware of my every move.

After he finished chugging most of the water, I nodded at him. He tried to offer it back. "Keep it kid. You need it more than me." He smiled a large, and toothy grin. It seemed to make him trust me a bit more, as he leaned forward ever so slightly. "What's that?" He pointed, as I realized he was asking about the Blackwatch insignia on my shoulder, as I sighed. "It's where I work. We try to help people like you." I smiled, and he raised an eyebrow. "You one o' those heroes? Over...overw- Overwatch that's it!" He snapped his fingers as he fumbled around in his mind. Nodding, I knelt down in front of him. "Yeah. I work with 'em." The kid seemed to brighten up to that, smirking. "Cool." He muttered to himself, and I sighed.

"Why are you helping me?" Another question came, and this one was difficult to answer. 'Because I see myself in you.' I thought, but I bit my tongue. It was true. I could see everything that I once was in this boy. He had a humor still barely intact, despite whatever happened to him. He was suspicious of others, and was smarter than most his age. I remember being the same way, roaming the streets, eating scraps of what others had thrown away. I shuddered at the thought of homelessness, and how no one helped me. But I was gonna help this kid. I didn't want to see someone else suffer the same way I did.

"Because I know how it feels to be homeless. And because I want to redeem myself." The answer seemed to satisfy him, as he took another long drink of the water. Before he could question me again, I could hear footsteps behind us. Feeling for my gun, I realized I had left it on the ground. Turning, I recovered the weapons, strapping them back on. I recognized the men coming for the boy. I could see the tattoo from a good distance, and their weapons. My mind flashed to the men who salvaged me from the streets. I thought maybe they were helping me. I'd never been more wrong in my life. "What are ya doin'?" The child asked, and I didn't answer, only giving him a stern look, and standing in front of him. I was going to protect the kid, no matter what.

The three Deadlock members arrived quickly, and with hands resting on their hips, ready to draw. They slouched lazily, analyzing the boy behind me. "Who are you?" The man in center asked, and I turned to the kid, shushing him. "He's a boy under my protection." I said, and the left one smirked. "An' doin' a mighty fine job too." He taunted, I growled, trying to resolve this peacefully. I had done enough killing already. "Ya clearly ain't fit for it man. We could take you in boy. Give ya a home, a nice warm meal, a soft bed." The other man smiled, and the child gripped the edge of my pant leg. "Liar." He muttered, and I smirked. He was smarter than I was.

"I ain't lyin'." The older man replied, and I stepped forward, in between the men and the child. "He said he ain't going with. Step back." I growled, and his brows furrowed. "Who the hell even are you?" He asked, and my hand went for my hip. "Someone you should respect." I answered. He tried to shove past me to the boy, but I didn't budge, gripping his neck and shoving him back, tripping him. He hit the ground with a thud, and the other two reached for their weapons.

I charged them, gripping the man's wrist, breaking it with a quick twist, before slamming him into the wall beside him. The other man loaded his weapon, but took a bullet to the stomach before he could draw. The man I had tripped stood up, stumbling back, but I fired, the bullet flying straight through his skull. The man I shot in the stomach crawled towards his weapon, but I stomped on his hand, grinding it into the rocks. He yelled in agony, before I lifted my foot back up, and brought it down on his head with a crack.

The child looked at me in amazement, looking at the men who lay on the ground. He smiled, and I nodded at him. "Woah." He muttered, and I knelt down in front of him. I withdrew a large wad of money from my wallet, handing it to him. "That should be enough to get you some food and maybe a place to sleep for the night." He looked at the money, holding it close to his chest. "Why are you-" he asked, but I interrupted him.

"It's supposed to rain tonight. I ain't gonna leave you to freeze out here. Get some food, and a place to rest. Get far away from here. The Deadlock Gang isn't very nice to kids like you." I explained, and he nodded. "Thank you mister. You helped me more than anyone else around 'ere." I couldn't help but grin at the small child, as he gathered his things. "It ain't nothin'. Now get lost kid. It's not safe out 'ere." I said, and he did as I said, offering me a grateful smile, and waving as he made his way down the street.

I watched him as he went for a while, before snapping to my senses. It felt good to help the kid out. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let him get kidnapped by those bandits. I hope he had a better life than I did, and made fewer mistakes. Or at least didn't make the same ones I did. Sighing, I turned back to the road which led me back to my destination. Back home.

Angela's POV

The sudden sting in my chest hit me when I noticed Nathan's absence at the table in the cafeteria. He usually mingled with his fellow agents, or at the very least kept his distance in one of the far corners. My eyes frantically scanned the large open room, searching for any sign or trace of him. He had seemingly disappeared. I thought back on what happened between us yesterday. When I yelled at him. I didn't mean to come off in such a harsh tone, but I was worried for the man. But he snapped. I couldn't fault him for it either. If what he said really happened...I wouldn't even be able to understand how he usually stays so positive.

I pushed past multiple busy agents, finding McCree all by his lonesome for once, his eyes staring off into nothing. He snapped to me when he noticed me, offering a bland and tired smile. It was impossible for me to do the same. "What's up Ang?" He raised an eyebrow, and I took a seat across from him. "Have you seen Nathan?" I asked, unable to conceal the worry in my voice. He shook his head, clicking his tongue. "Ain't seen 'em since last night. He seemed...troubled." He replied, and I sighed, burying my face in my hands. I let out a frustrated groan.

"I ain't got a clue what happened between you two, an' I get I ain't always the best to chat with 'bout these sort of things, but can I give ya some advice?" He asked, and I nodded, curious as to what he had to say. "You fucked up." He muttered, and I opened my mouth to retort, but he continued. "I can tell you did. Ya got that 'I fucked up an' I ain't got a clue what to do about it' face. But you still have a chance. I know he ain't the prettiest fella ya could get, hell you could get any man you pleased, an' I know he does dumb, reckless shit all the time and doesn't seem to give two shits about anything or anyone, and is a condescending ass at times..."

Jesse stopped, thinking about his old friend. "But I know for sure, there are three things he truly cares about. Alcohol, guns, and Angela Ziegler. Nate and I go a long way back, an' he's had women before. Tons of 'em. But I ain't ever seen him look at a gal like the way he looks at you. I can't tell ya what to do. You can leave 'em in the dust if you want. You could throw him away like garbage, trust me he's used to that. But I'll tell you this, I'm fairly certain he's always gonna care about you. An' I hope you can see a friend in him at the very least." He sighed, and left me in an awkward silence. I was at a loss for words.

How exactly was I supposed to react to that kind of news? It only piled onto the already massive amount of guilt resting on my shoulders. But Jesse seemed to care about this. He may joke all the time, and have a complete and utter disregard for human life and good morals, but for once he seemed to care about it. About his friend. About my relationship with Nate. Jesse stood from his seat, and made his way to my side of the table. He placed a firm, but kind grip on my shoulder, and left without another word.

That left me to find out what I was going to do with this situation. I could easily find him with my tablet, which would display his location if I ordered it to, and the thought was rather appealing. But I had work to do. Work here that needed my full attention. Nathan was once again distracting me from my work, and I smiled at the thought, despite how pathetic I felt at the moment. Everything Nathan had said yesterday after the mission came rushing back to me, and I sighed, angry at myself for getting into this mess in the first place. "Idiot."

Several hours later...

This might've been a bad idea.

Although I knew where he was, these streets weren't exactly safe, riddled with gang violence and dangerous people lurking around every corner. The thought of dying in such a fashion sent shivers down my spine. The cold rain was pouring hard, the lack of streetlights hindering my vision a great deal, the moon offering a pale light. I tried to keep quiet, hand reaching for my pistol, hoping I didn't need to use it. Nathan's training popped into my mind. Everything he taught me about safety and being ready to draw on a moments notice. The idea, while easy enough to comprehend, was entirely different when you were in the situation.

I arrived near Nathan's position according to the tablet, growing nervous for what I might encounter. The location he chose wasn't in the best of conditions. The ashes of what I assumed to be a once small neighborhood now littered the streets, even after what I presumed to be over a decade. I guess people wanted to leave it there as a reminder. Or perhaps they were prevented from cleaning it up by the Deadlock Gang. Perhaps both. I wouldn't be surprised.

I placed a hand on the ground, feeling the dust along my fingers, tracing along the lines of the old road. A street sign stood alone, amidst the rubble, half of it scorched off. '...rywood.' I continued moving, following the way my tablet displayed, and stopped right outside his position.

Nathan stood there, the tail end of his trench coat flapping in the cold breeze, as the rain made the 'pitter patter' as it poured on his hat, dripping off of the sides slowly. He was completely still, not moving a muscle. One hand held his revolver, which shined against the pale light of the moon. His body let out a soft shudder, as I could make out his sobs amidst the pouring rain. My voice failed me, as I struggled to work up the nerve to say something.

He was beside two poorly dug graves, which held his parents. There were two crosses placed into the soil, displaying their names. To the left of him it read 'Anne Parker.' And to his right it read 'Thomas Parker.' They were both stitched into the wood of the crosses with what seemed to be a dull knife, with poor craftsmanship. It was hard to read them, since they were both being weathered and eroded over time.

Nathan spun around in a quick fashion, his sights aimed on me, his arm as steady as ever. His scowl turned into a disheartening frown, his arm faltering, falling down to his side. He dropped his revolver, as my sad eyes met his own, as the tears began to stream down his cheeks. He fell back down to the ground, taking a seat in front of his own parents graves. I couldn't have felt any more worse for the man. After everything he had been through, he had a right to be so reckless with his life.

I took hesitant steps towards him, as he continued sobbing, mourning his parents demise. I stood beside him, as he stared at the ground. I pulled my jacket closer to my chest, the cold wind causing me to shiver once again. Taking my own seat, he didn't respond to me doing so. He only continued like I wasn't there. I didn't have the heart to speak. I couldn't find the words to do so in the first place, and I refused to interrupt him.

The rain was the only noise that was made between us, as he began to settle down. His sobs turned to small hiccups and stifled breaths. Nathan sat there, his eyes glaring at the ground. I stood back up, deciding I was making things worse. This was a mistake. Nathan didn't want me to see him like this. All I did was worsen our relationship. He had enough reasons to hate me, I wasn't going to add another by intruding into his personal life.

A hand shot up, grabbing mine in a firm grip, and I turned back to find Nathan staring up at me, his once happy face now full of sadness. "Will...will you stay?" He practically begged. I couldn't refuse his offer. It was unexpected to say the least. He was usually so confident, always ready for anything, wearing a cocky grin on his face. I'd never seen him so choked up. His eyes faltered under my soft gaze, his lip quivered. I didn't expect him to seem so...small.

Taking a seat beside him once more, he offered a weak smile. "I'm sorry." I began, and he frowned. "You've got nothing to be sorry for." The response made me smile. Jesse was right. He was always going to be kind to me. Always going to care. "I do. For everything I said. For all the times I've yelled at you. For what happened to your parents." I muttered, and he nodded.

"Look. I want to thank you for this. For everything. It all means so much to have someone like you. I care about you." He began to choke up. "And I know I-I can be reckless...and irresponsible...and I don't always d-d-do the right thing, but...I'm trying to make this world better. It's a dark place. I want to make it a little brighter before I die...and to have someone like...someone like you here...is everything.."

Before he could begin crying again, I pulled him into a tight hug, as he was shocked by the action. His arms were out, before he rested them on my back, returning the loving hug. "I miss them..." he said softly, and I felt a tear roll down my cheek, blending in with the rain. We broke apart, as he rested his head on my shoulder, leaning on me. "I know. I know." I replied, hushing him. I kissed his forehead, as we sat together in the pouring rain, not a word said between us for what seemed like hours. It felt right. It felt natural. Despite everything, I couldn't deny the feeling I got around the man. I could only hope he felt the same.

"I love you."

Nathan spoke softly, but quickly, seeming completely uneasy as he said the three words. My eyes widened, my heart beginning to beat faster. My cheeks began to grow hot, as I blushed. It was good to hear that. Although the odds were against us, and we'd have to work hard for everything, I was willing to fight for this. For this feeling. For all the moments we shared. For whatever happens between us. My feelings were beginning to cloud my judgement. Or at least that's what I am thinking right now, as I repeat the same words he spoke to me. "I love you too."

He grinned. "I know." The smirk on his lips was as cocky as usual, and I couldn't help but smile at him. He always had some sort of remark. I ignored the comment, rolling my eyes, as I helped him up to his feet. "We should get going. We have work to do." I reminded him, and he took one long look at the graves, closing his eyes. Then he turned to me, nodding. "Of course we do. I'll recklessly throw my life into danger, and risk being brutally murdered on missions, while you get me patched up and tell me how stupid I am. I've been getting used to it."

I giggled, looking back at him. "And I'm beginning to enjoy it."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Skin

Angela Ziegler.

The name had been caught up in the train wreck that was my brain at the moment, chasing me down relentlessly. Distracting myself had become nearly impossible. The woman was becoming a part of me, as much as I hated and loathed myself for admitting it. I wasn't supposed to be thinking about that kind of stuff, not now. But...my mind had other plans. After she came for me when I was at my parents graves, we haven't spent much time away from each other. Not that I was one to complain, but we seemed to have an eternity to spend together, in and out of work.

At first it was just us working together. I'd come down to see her every night after work if we were both free, and we'd spend time working on our individual jobs here as well as keeping one another sane. Then it turned into us meeting up for drinks one night, two nights, three nights in a row. In the beginning I figured the gracious doctor was taking pity on me, but now she seems to be showing different intentions. And if I wasn't mistaken, they might be the same ones I had.

And now here I am, in the middle of an intense training session, simulating firefights and worse case scenarios, thinking about a doctor. The stakes weren't as high as they would be if it was a real fight, but I figured I'd rather not get shocked. The bullets we fired weren't lethal, but if turned up to maximum power it could put a man in a coma. Luckily it was at a medium, which led to sharp stings and welts appearing not long after, and if used correctly, could knock a man on his ass. Even the biggest man in the world would go down in a few hits.

McCree was to my right, pinned down behind cover, taking fire from multiple other agents, as they tried to get an angle on him. They had the high ground, so we were already at a disadvantage here. But that was the point. Gabriel was testing us for something, I just didn't know what. All I knew is that it had to be important, since we've been doing this for a few weeks, each session becoming more difficult. An infuriated Angela had tried to explain to Reyes that he was overworking us, and that at this rate we'd be dead within a month, but I convinced her to allow me to do this. It was my job after all. Though I expect she didn't enjoy me piling on more work for her to complete with all the injuries she refused to let go untreated.

This entire thing must've cost a fortune, the entire training room completely modified, with a field that stretched almost a mile long, all of it the most futuristic mumbo jumbo I'd ever seen. It felt real enough, when the opted to give the simulation color, instead of the chrome backdrop. But I suppose Reyes was getting his money's worth on this, as we've barely been out of the damn thing. He was watching from the observation room, along with Jack Morrison, so a good bit of pressure was on us to perform well. But Jesse and I had always been good with pleasing the crowds.

And, we also had someone else with us. A man I was happy we could use. Genji. The cyborg was nearly unstoppable around here, so having him watch our back wasn't too bad. Hell he saved my ass from some shocks and 1st degree burns on many occasions already. But I say Jesse and I have paid it back, saving him from a stray bullet and pulling his ass out of the fire as well.

Jesse peeked from cover, a bullet flying right by the bridge of his nose. He jumped back into his cover, looking at me. I sighed, as we were stuck here. Genji was busy with his own problems, dealing with others in the back lines. I inhaled deeply, saying two words I've become quite familiar with over the course of my life. "Fuck me."

Jesse grinned. "That's another dollar." He reminded me of the tax on profanity around here, which was created by the pain in my ass himself, Gabriel Reyes. He seemed to enjoy cracking down on my way of slurring out curse words in every sentence, which was already putting me in debt. I've given up over a hundred dollars already to the swear jar. "Shit." I muttered in response, and McCree snickered. "Make it two." He joked, and I was tempted to aim my gun at him. "Fuck off."

"Alright, three it is then."

Thinking to myself, I struggled to find a way out of this situation. "Any bright ideas?" Genji grunted through the comms device, as I groaned. "Let me think..." I poked my head out, quickly ducking back to safety, almost taking a shot to the temple. Soon enough, my strategic mind found a way out, as I grimaced, not liking the idea. I pulled off my hat, giving it a good look. I ran a hand along its rough edges, preparing to throw it out into the range, in hopes of it distracting them. Peering over at the observation room, I nodded at Gabriel and Jack. I inhaled deeply, before chucking it like it was nothing.

They took the bait. A shot rang out, striking my hat in the middle of it's descent to the floor. Jesse and I were already rushing the center of the field, providing covering fire for ourselves. One shot struck one of the men in the chest, leaving him howling as he dealt with the pain.

We moved quickly, as Jesse understood what I was trying to do. He swiftly helped me up on the structure in front of us, as I rolled, avoiding incoming fire. A certain cyborg was right behind the men on the vantage point, as they struggled to hit me as I charged them head on. "Genji, now!" I yelled, as he leapt into the air, his shurikens, although dulled for practice, hit their targets, as they grunted in pain. I jumped over the barrier they had set up, firing a single shot at a man who was aiming for Genji.

Genji turned to find the final opposing agent on the floor in pain. I smiled, proud of my handiwork. It was quick thinking, which was something that had kept me alive throughout my rough life. Jesse and I had perfected that trick over time, and only now did it come into fruition here. Genji nodded at me, and I exhaled in satisfaction. "Good work. I could barely recognize you without the hat." Genji taunted, as I playfully punched him in the arm. "Oh shut up." I leaned down over the same railing the opposing team used for cover, yelling down to Jesse. "Hey, mind tossing me my-"

The hat quickly hit me in the face, as I scrambled to catch it. He offered a sly grin in return. "You didn't even let me finish!" I replied, before we helped the others up. A few of them had given me a few threatening glares, which I had become used to. If I had spent so long getting my ass kicked by some snarky kid I'd be pissed too. But to be frank, I was much better than them. They knew it too. I didn't fear them any longer anyways, since they had attempted to jump me in my first few weeks here. They learned the hard way not to try that.

Soon enough, with the help of other agents, they were now out of the room, leaving a rather spacious and quiet room to ourselves. Directing our attention to the observation deck, we found that they had both disappeared. Before any one of us could decipher where they had gone, they were behind me, an impressed grin on Morrison's face. "Good work you three. You've improved greatly. You are by far our best squad here."

The compliment brought confident smiles to our lips, which were quickly replaced with stern gazes, as Gabriel began speaking. He rarely said anything positive about our performance, always focusing on the mistakes and unnecessary risks we took. I prepared myself for the same treatment this time. "Don't get too excited. You still have a lot of work to do. And I figure now is a good time to tell you..."

I turned to Jesse and Genji, who were both as confused as I was. "You three are expected for a very important mission we've been preparing for. I'm certain you are aware of what is going on in Numbani." Reyes began, and my mind snapped to the news reports. Overwatch had been working hard to help, but Numbani has been all but completely taken over by Talon, the hostile and infamous terrorist organization. All of this was being led by Doomfist, or Akande Ogundimu, who is responsible for thousands of deaths, and many of them innocent civilians and Overwatch agents. Although we've been hard at work to counter this attack, we needed to prepare for a full scale invasion to liberate the innocent people there from the tyrannical rule of Akande and his death squads. I gulped nervously, hearing most people he came in contact with were usually found with their head smashed in. Even the omnics designed to stop him met the same fate. And as lovely as that all sounded, I could feel myself become sick at the thought. I was never usually nervous for fights and missions, but this was big.

"We need you all on the front lines. You'll be responsible for a good bit of the assault. Luckily, we're sending our best with you. Captain Amari will be there to watch out for you, and we will be there as well. You'll be a distraction team, and have to handle the brunt of their forces and attacks, while the others are able to flank and outgun them."

When he finished, I could feel the sweat trickle down my forehead. Suddenly, it was very very hot in here, and dinner wasn't sounding so good tonight. "So, what I'm gatherin' 'ere is that we're some sort of bait?" Jesse spoke up, and Jack sighed. "Sadly, you are. I don't like it, but sometimes we need to make sacrifices. I'm sure you four will be able to handle it." He answered, and Genji frowned. "Four?" He asked, and Gabriel began to speak.

"Dr. Ziegler will he accompanying your squad for medical support. She will be in charge of keeping you alive. And in turn, you will keep her alive as well, right?" He raised an eyebrow, and I nodded. "Of course sir. But who will be in charge of the squad?" I asked, and Gabriel seemed to take that as a sign of ambition, and a shot at his superiority. I soon realized the error of my ways, as he stepped forward. "You follow my orders. I'm in charge. You do as I say, when I say it. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." I answered, and he nodded. "That'll be all. If you have any questions I'll be in my office." And with that, they exited, leaving us to ourselves. I didn't like the sound of this. Of any of this. But I couldn't just disobey orders here. I didn't have the luxury of just saying no. And neither did Jesse or Genji.

"So, it seems we're off to die." Jesse said it so matter of factly I almost laughed, as Genji sighed. "If that is what we must do, then so be it." Genji replied, more certainty in his voice, as he stood tall. "I don't know about you but I don't plan on dying." I muttered, crossing my arms, leaning against a wall. Jesse shrugged. "Yeah well neither do I. I ain't trying to get fisted to death."

I couldn't help but burst out laughing, as Jesse gave me a puzzled look. "I'm sure you'd like that." I responded, as he scoffed, shoving me a bit. "That's not what I meant!" He retorted, as Genji threw his head back in laughter, as we were thoroughly amused. "Yeah yeah...laugh it up." Jesse began to exit, as Genji quickly followed him, still giggling. "Oh come on..."

Watching as they went, I almost choked on the lump in my throat. I tried to hide behind a joke, but I couldn't help but feel uneasy about all of this. About marching straight into certain death. About dying to some terrorist with large mechanical fist and a talent for violence. About bringing those I cared about into the fight with me. About bringing Angela into this. I didn't feel like she was ready for this kind of work. We would be heading into the center of all of it, and I didn't know if she could protect herself if it came down to it. She wasn't ready. But then again, I wasn't ready either. I decided a visit to the doctor was the best thing to do.

When I arrived at her door, I knocked hesitantly. This wasn't the best of news. To just tell her she had a ninety percent chance of dying a brutal death on her next mission wasn't easy. Not really that great of an icebreaker now was it? As I pondered how to tell her, the door opened, displaying her in a tired state. She wore nothing but a long sleeve shirt that hung loosely on her shoulders, that didn't fit particularly well. It covered her waist and ended at the beginning of her thighs. I presumed she wore underwear underneath it. She clearly wasn't expecting visitors. I struggled to keep my eyes up.

Of course the thought of being with her had popped into my head on multiple occasions. On how good it must feel to be with her. I'd been with women before, but not ones I really ever loved. It was usually just some one night stand, with the stench of alcohol coating their lips. But her...she was everything I could've wanted. I wanted to be that to her. The man she shared her bed with every night. I wanted it to be my name she called out in pleasure. I wanted to feel that ecstasy. But it couldn't happen. Everything I wanted..wasn't meant for us. We had a duty to fulfill. We couldn't let emotion drive us away from our work here. Even if it felt so natural.

I gulped, struggling to hide my arousal, trying to focus on something else. Even with our probable death on the horizon I couldn't stay professional. "Nathan...it is good to see you." Angela blushed, realizing her appearance, which she probably figured wasn't her best. Was it odd that I thought she looked the best like this? I cleared my mind of those thoughts. "I uh...I'm sorry to tell ya this and drop in unannounced...but can I come in?" I asked, as she smiled sheepishly. "Of course Nathan. I was just finishing up my remaining reports for the day."

I entered her office, as she shut the door behind me. I clenched and unclenched my hands, trying to find the best way to tell her this. How was I supposed to tell her? I turned back to her, as she gave me a soft smile. "Yeah...so...how do I put this? I don't want to tell you this, it wasn't my idea but...I have to. So...you're aware of what's going on in Numbani?" I paused, and she nodded in return. "Well, we have a mission. I've been told Genji, Jesse, and I will be heading into the center of all of it. We have to be a distraction for the others to flank around and take Akande out. And...and you will be accompanying us."

Once the words were out, I began analyzing her every move. She frowned, and let out a small "oh." It was amazing how much could be said with two letters. I sighed, placing my hands in my pockets. I looked down at the floor, ashamed I had to even say that. "Well...I suppose I'll be patching you up, as usual."

The sentence sent me into a spiral of many emotions. My breathing eased up, as I looked at her, as she grinned up at me. She was willing to do that. She didn't seem to resist. She didn't seem bothered by it. "You...it doesn't bother you?" I stammered, and she placed a hand on my shirt, tugging at the ends of it softly. "I know I have someone watching over me. I trust you, Nathan. Although certain death is approaching, there is no one else I could think of doing it with except you guys. I know what I signed up for. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help those in need."

A smile graced my lips. If only everyone thought the same way she did... "Angie...I'm not sure what we'll find out there. But I swear, I'm going to make sure you're ready. I'll teach you everything I can. You know how to hold a weapon, but you need to know how to use it with skill and confidence." I explained, and she huffed, leaning on her desk. "Yes. That would be good." She replied quickly, and I chuckled. "Yeah it would."

My hand rested beside hers on the desk, as I thought about all of this. I thought I was stressed out before. But this...this was entirely different. I was expected to die in the next week. I was expected to give everything up for the greater good. As much as that sounded heroic, it wasn't the way I planned on going. But if it was, spending my time training Angela and preparing her for it was a good way to spend it. Or at least not the worst way I could imagine it.

Her hand met mine, as she held my rough and callous hand, and I relished at the touch, feeling her soft hand. I turned to her, as our eyes met. Once again, my heart was pumping much faster, and I could feel my breath hitch as she kissed my cheek, before offering me a warm smile. "Goodnight, Nate. I'll be expecting you at 6:00 am sharp at the shooting range." She said, and I groaned, opening the door to exit. "Have mercy on me Angie."

She rolled her eyes at the pun, crossing her arms and glaring at me in the doorway. "I hate you." She smiled, and I chuckled. _I love you too._ I bit my tongue, giving her a sly grin, winking at her. "I know."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: A Past Life

The loud and sharp bang of a bullet passing through a chamber took me by surprise. The accuracy of the doctor I was training was even more shocking. Angela flashed me a look that said 'Told you I could shoot.' While I was busy wiping the flabbergasted face I adopted away, she reloaded another mag with the skill of a well trained sharpshooter. She placed precision shots in each target, her eyes snapping to her targets. I know I had taught her a little already but she was an even faster learner than I expected.

By the time I had picked up my jaw off the floor, her gun was back on the table, with her hands set neatly beside her waist. Her smile was enough to make me laugh, or at least chuckle at myself for finding that attractive of all things. I guess my obsession with guns stemmed to my heart as well. She stared up at me, resting on the tips of her toes due to the height difference as I towered a good head over her even when she stretched herself out.

"Not too shabby." I grinned, and she scoffed, crossing her arms, clearly not satisfied with the reaction, and I leaned down a bit. "It was good. Not perfect." I added, booping her nose with my index finger, as she scrunched her nose in annoyance. "Well you said you'd show me how to do well, not perfect." She replied, and I shrugged. "True enough." I answered, finding myself drawn to the woman even more since witnessing the spectacle that was that session.

Our mission in Numbani was still a few days away, so we had time to perfect any hesitations or mistakes she made. I had spent hours upon hours of my time to make sure she would be able to handle herself in intense situations. Ana had said I was using that as an excuse to spend time with her, but I ignored the comments, even though a part of me knew that was a bit true. I didn't mind doing all of this, it gave me a chance to unwind after all of my work out sessions, and show Angela a few tricks. She was beginning to remind me of Lena with how quick of a learner she is, having mastered many arts of shooting. The doctor was even beginning to learn new ways to break bones.

I took some time to show her basic hand to hand combat, and she quickly stood a fair chance of kicking my ass. The woman, while petite and not able to take many hits, was agile, and knew her pressure points. I took a certain pride in my work, training her for the biggest mission either of us had faced.

And with the time we spent training, came even more time spent unwinding together, finding ways to relieve stress and keep our spirits high, despite the high chance of death. We had opted out of drinking, much to my dismay, since she said it would dull our senses, and we needed to aware and alert. So I decided against us just talking while we worked on paperwork together, so we came to a compromise. We decided on walking around the base and chatting for a while, and meeting up at certain places to talk.

Not much happened. Just us letting loose and enjoying the time we had before it's too late in case our lives are cut short by a certain violent terrorist. Hand to hand combat wouldn't do us much good against a large metal fist, with a mountain of a man wielding it as well.

Apparently it was a special day here at the Overwatch HQ, allowing agents to invite family members to see them at work. I saw it as a cruel joke, since most of the agents wouldn't come back from our next mission, but I guess the higher ups disagree with me on that. I didn't have any family to come down. Or at least none that I'd want to see. Jesse didn't either. Angela too. And with Genji I would assume that would be horribly awkward. So I sort of tip toed around him, being sure not to set him off. We had a bit of a friendship, but I figured reminding him of his signature nickname I'd slapped onto him wouldn't help with keeping our bond tight. Much less keeping my head on my shoulders. Though I did love calling him "Shim Sham".

Angela and I walked back to her office, passing by a few agents getting ready for all the visitors. The base would soon be even louder than usual with all the wandering bodies and voices. I sighed, not wanting to deal with that now. Not with all the work I had ahead of me. I didn't want my precious hours of sleep to be replaced with greeting unfamiliar faces. Rather antisocial I had to admit, but I had begun to avoid things like this for a while. Wasn't my kind of shin-dig I suppose.

It was late in the evening, and I was off to catch some shut eye after leaving Angela. "So I suppose I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked, and she nodded. "Yes. Though I might be running a little late. Scheduling this whole event has become quite the hassle, and apparently I'm responsible for making sure this doesn't go badly. I feel like I've become the mom of this organization." She smiled, and I laughed.

'Can I be the dad?' I bit my tongue, offering a much less suggestive comment. "They see you as a role model. Who wouldn't want to have Dr. Ziegler watching over 'em?" I replied, and she giggled. "You apparently, since you don't seem to stay long in the infirmary." I raised an eyebrow. "Oh so you want to look at me in one of those gowns?I mean there are easier ways to see me without pants on."

'What the fuck did you just say you fucking idiot?!' I began to realize the error of my ways for saying that, stumbling over my next words. "F-forget that last part." She smiled, placing a hand on my arm. "I'll see you tomorrow. I expect you'll be wearing pants?" She teased, and I blushed. "Y-yeah."

"Goodnight Nathan."

"G'night Angie."

I slammed my head into the wall as soon as the door closed, never having said something stupider in my life. Why was I such an idiot around her? I hadn't been so nervous around a girl since...

I stopped my train of thought, refusing to think of the girl who came to mind. To a woman I loved. My first love. I had promised never to speak of her again, not after what she did to me. After how much it hurt. After everything. After the life I left behind. My feet began to shuffle away from the hallways, heading down to the barracks, in hopes of finding a way to get rid of the painful thoughts and memories.

A familiar silhouette found me stumbling through the hallway, a cowboy hat placed firmly on their head. I immediately recognized Jesse's sly grin, as he tipped his hat to me. I returned an empty smile, as he didn't notice it. "So partner, have a good time with Angie? You two sure are friendly..." he smirked, and I flinched a bit as he placed a hand on my shoulder, as we walked side by side. Only now was I realizing how familiar this situation was. Angela was just like her...

"Shut up." I snapped to him, and he chuckled. "Yeah yeah. Sure ya ain't doin' nothin' you're not supposed to?" He continued, his relentless talking and mocking irritating me. "It ain't like that." I answered, and he grinned. "'Course. Nate ain't never fell in love before. Reminds me of a certain someone."

I clenched my hands, tempted to punch his smug grin right off his lips. "We're not talking about that. Never again." I growled, and he held his hands up in surrender. "I'm just sayin'. You don't have to hide your feelings. You two are practically married already."

"Now isn't the time Jesse..." I warned. "And when is the time? When you two are both dying in Numbani? When you ain't have a life to live with her anymore? I'm not tellin' ya to break the rules. Just bend 'em." He shrugged, and I shook my head. "It's not that simple! You know it's not! Not after what happened!" I yelled, and he stopped in his tracks, as I continued walking. For a moment there was silence, as I was about to turn a corner.

"Just because that whore Jane treated you like shit don't mean ya can't ever love again!"

The name he said sent me into a fit of rage. Jane. Jane Wilson. I began to remember everything. How we met. All the dates we went on. The drinking. The sex. The love I began to feel for her. How she told me she loved me. How I said the same thing. How stupid I was. If I had just said no thank you...none of it would've happened. I began to storm back to Jesse. He stood tall, but a quick left hook to the cheek sent him into the wall.

He held his cheek in pain, as I glared at him. "We promised to never speak of that woman again! You said I'd be able to leave it all behind! And I did! Now drop it!" I spat with all the venom I could muster, staring my best friend in the eyes. His brows furrowed. "I tried to tell you. But you didn't listen. If ya had listened to me you would've been fine. All the heartbreak would've ended there. But you insisted on proposing to the whore. Ya only listened to me when I said-"

I tackled him to the floor, as he grunted in pain. I began to wail on him, all of my pent up anger and sadness let out in the coming punches. He held his arms up, blocking them, before rolling over, as he was now on top. He gripped me by the collar of my shirt, slamming me into the hard floor below me. My ears began to ring as I felt a sharp pain shoot through my head, and I groaned, feeling another fist strike my jaw.

I lifted my knee, hitting him in the stomach, as he wheezed, the wind knocked out of him. I took the opportunity to flip him off me, as he rolled on the floor. Standing, I wiped the blood from my lip, smearing it on my shirt. Reaching down, I picked up my hat, placing it back on my head. I sniffed, feeling the blood in my nose trickle back down my throat, as the taste of copper coated my tongue. Jesse began to stand back up, spitting the red liquid out of his mouth.

The man didn't falter, as he stood his ground, ready to fight me. "Jesse...I'm sorry." I sighed, and he wiped his nose with his forearm. "Yeah." He responded, and I felt the pang of guilt stab me in the chest. He didn't deserve that. Jane was the one who hurt me, not him. He was right. He was only trying to help.

Jesse took a look at me, and frowned. "I'm gonna go get a drink. Have fun with Angela." He spoke softly, shoving past me. I was tempted to try and stop him, but I let him go. There was nothing I could do. I made a mistake. And now my best friend was walking away. "Fuck me." I muttered, and I began to head back to the barracks. Some sleep would be good. I've had enough of this shit to last a lifetime.

 **Flashback...**

 _It had been a long day. Possibly the dangerous shit Jesse and I had ever been on. But hey...that's what I signed up for at this shit whole. I took a long sip of my whiskey, hoping it would kill a bit of the pain. I took a few shots in that shootout. Getting shot isn't the bad part. It's getting the fucking bullets out of you that burns like all seven hells. So, burning my throat with a bit of alcohol could sort of even it all out._

 _The food here at the diner has been especially shitty, but the whiskey wasn't too bad. I made the mistake of ordering a bit of food in my delirious state of mind after stumbling in from the shootout. Tasted as good as I remembered, so I requested a shit ton of drinks to wash the stuff down. Better than going hungry now wasn't it?Well...debatable._

 _The deal went south fast. Quicker than usual. It was supposed to just be a normal deal, get them the weapons and drugs, get the money, get the hell out. Simple. Turns out one of the boys was a rat for the police. It was a setup. Got Jesse and I shot a few times, and we barely survived long enough for back up to arrive to send the fuckers off. Out by the skin of our teeth again. I tipped my hat down low, the memory bringing back the pain in my shoulder, as I ordered another refill. Good thing the people here didn't request any ID, or else I'd be fucked._

 _Wasn't the first time I'd been drinking. I was 15 when I started, and here I am 2 years later drinking at the same place, for the same reason. Life has it's ways doesn't it? Well, even if the joint started requiring some identification or proof I was old enough to drink, I looked damn near 20 from all the stress and the stubble I had, and I knew a few guys who could forge some IDs. So I was safe._

 _Before I could really respond or recognize the situation, a girl had scoped me out, her eyes analyzing every inch of me. Her sharp green eyes never left me, as her lips began to move, and I focused in. "Need a drinking partner?" The brunette asked, placing a hand on her hip, drink in the other hand. I gestured to the seat beside me, and smiled._

 _Couldn't deny how pretty she was. Looked my age, long brown hair, green eyes as sharp as any blade I could imagine, with petite figure and lush lips. I gulped, a little giddy. "What's a fine lady such as yourself doing around here?" I slurred, and she raised a curious eyebrow. "Looking for a lovely meal at a fine establishment where the workers care about hygiene and safety rules." She joked, and I laughed. "You'll find plenty of that here."_

 _"Yeah. Just looking for some place that sells some booze to delinquents without checking for ID. Makes it easy for me to get a little pick me up."_

 _I grinned. I liked the way she spoke, how honest she was. Smarter than most girls you could find around here. That brain of hers was clearly as sharp as her eyes, as they pierced into mine. I found myself unable to look away from her. I noticed her bite her lip ever so seductively, as I finished my drink. "So...what do you do for a living?" She asked, and I sighed. "You actually care or just being social?" I quipped, and she giggled. "I'll leave that up to you to figure out."_

 _"Well if you need to know... I kill people."_

 _The blunt honesty of the words that came out of my mouth met a cold and hard silence, as she sat quietly, a serious look in her eyes. I returned the same stare. For a moment I expected her to leave it at that, or find some other subject to talk about. But the young girl just stared._

 _Then her lips curved upwards into an amused grin, as we began to laugh together. I couldn't tell if I was laughing just to get by that awkward moment, laughing just to laugh, or laughing because it was genuinely funny. All three at once I suppose. She seemed to be laughing for the same reasons. Something was special about her. Probably the alcohol._

 _"So what's your name?" I asked, and she smiled. "Jane." She answered. That was a nice name, rolls off the tongue. "Well Jane," I began, raising my glass in the air. "To killing people and shitty establishments that don't check for IDs!" I cheered, and she raised her glass as well, clinking it against mine, her eyes connecting with mine. "And to making new friends."_

I snapped up from bed, the memory of meeting Jane coming back to haunt me. I was breathing heavily, with sweat drenching my forehead. God damnit. If I had just said no...my life would be so much different. And if I listened to Jesse when she...when she...

Growling, I stood up from my bed, placing new clothes on. It wasn't late at night, just barely 10 o'clock. I guess I was even more tired than I originally thought I was. With all of those people out there talking in the hallways, I wondered how I ever got a wink of sleep. Suppose I could go out and talk with Angela, get her mind off of all the work in making sure this didn't go horribly. All those bodies in there, it's gonna suck.

I sucked it up, opening the door, and heading outside, hearing a few others already outside in the halls. I kept my feet moving, hoping it would be easy to find Angela in the sea of people that were here. I was already getting claustrophobic, and when I arrived in what I assumed to be the cafeteria, since it was so full and jumbled up I could barely recognize it, I damn near fainted.

All those families and unfamiliar people...

Pushing past others, I wandered around the large area until I could find the woman I was searching for. Her hair was let down, reaching her shoulders, with her lab coat as white as the lights above us, with her fidgeting with the pen in her fingers, biting her lip in distress. "Angie!" I called out, and she jumped, startled by me. "Mein gott! Nathan! You scared me!" She exclaimed, and I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry darling. Can't really sleep very much, figured I'd see how you were doing." I explained, and Angela smiled. "I'm fine Nathan, thank you. You're too kind."

Shrugging, I gripped her hand in mine. She didn't seem to mind. "Well...what can I say? I like seeing you Doc."

Angela opened her mouth to respond to the comment, but a certain yell caught my attention. Her voice was familiar, with the name catching me as well. "LOGAN!" I turned, finding a short woman rushing towards me. She had a bright smile, with long brown hair, and green eyes. I recognized her immediately, my eyes widening. "Karen?"

"Who?" Angela asked, as I let go of her hand. The woman looked just like her daughter, only a few wrinkles here and there. The way she called out to me. No one had referred to me as Logan in years. Ever since Jane...

My train of thought was interrupted by her hugging me tightly. "Oh Logan...you've gotten bigger. And even more handsome than I remember." She teased, and I frowned, confused as to why she was here. I didn't invite her. "Logan?" Angela muttered, but I didn't have time to explain nor did I want to. "Mother please..." I grinned, as she turned to a puzzled Angela, who looked at me in the eyes. "Oh. And who is this?" Karen asked, and I stumbled, still trying to process the fact that she was here. I hadn't seen her in years. Not since I left Jane.

"This is my good friend, Dr. Angela Ziegler." I introduced her, as Angie plastered on a fake smile and began speaking. "Good to meet you Ms..." she trailed off, as Karen spoke up. "Ms. Wilson. Please, call me Karen."

"Well, it's lovely to meet you Karen." Angela replied, and Karen nodded. She took a long look at me, green eyes reminding me of her daughter. My first love. I shook my head, focusing once more. "Logan, would be so kind as to show me around? Or at least a good place to rest? It's been a long hike from home." Karen spoke softly, and as kind as I remembered. She was a good person, though I had no idea if that was genuine kindness or her hiding the pain of what happened in our past. She probably resents me.

"Of course, Mother." I turned back to Angela. "Who is that?" She asked, and I sighed, realizing this wasn't a dream. My past life is coming back to haunt me once more. I thought I left this all behind. But it's here.

"My mother in law."

 **What a twist! Bet ya didn't know that about Nathan. A lot of juicy stuff about his past will be revealed, since I feel it was shrouded in a lot of mystery. So I think it'll be cool to show what happened to him, and what his past life was, and why he left it behind, all while juggling his friendships and relationships in Overwatch, and the stress that comes with his future mission. It'll be some interesting next few chapters. Leave a review! I'd love to know what you think!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Weak

 **Flashback...**

 _I arrived back in my house even later than usual, with Jane in my arms. I fumbled with the keys, before finally finding the sweet spot, and twisting. Opening the door, I held it open for Jane, who stumbled a bit, since we were both horribly drunk. It had been a good night. We got together around noon, and spent the day together, fucking around like some kids. It was good to finally act our age. We were barely over 18, and sometimes it was good to act irresponsibly._

 _We had driven around the town, swerving around and disobeying the laws, flipping off anyone we didn't like. We ended up vandalizing some property and statues, giving Abraham Lincoln a nice coat of lipstick with a red marker. It was great to be with her. Jane didn't care, when she was like this she set me free. She let me be who I wanted to be. I was reaching at a point where I wanted to be with her all the time. Wake up with her, and spend my days with her. Just lose all of my responsibilities in Deadlock and move on. I wish I could just live life to the fullest._

 _When I first met her, and this all began, it was just for pleasure. We'd meet up, have a short date, and spend hours in bed. We lost hours upon hours of sleep doing so, but we didn't care. Jane made me feel warm, and like I was wanted. The way she looks at me still sends shivers down my spine every time. It was great._

 _But now I have a different feeling with her. When we're together, it's not just sex anymore. It isn't just for pleasure. I think I love her. I've been contemplating how to tell her that for a while now. I didn't want to screw this all up and complicate things with my feelings. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if she left me alone again? I couldn't bare the thought. So for a while, I decided to keep my mouth shut, and enjoy the time I had with her._

 _Before I could even set my keys down after locking the door to our house behind us, she jumped in my arms, kissing me wildly, hands knocking my hat down to the floor. Her hands wrapped around my neck, as I carried her to the couch, unable to reach the stairs in order to get to the bed in time, as we collapsed together on the couch, the cool leather meeting our warm skin as we stripped each other of our clothes. My mind wasn't thinking about anything but her, as we broke from the kiss._

 _We were both breathing heavily, as we held each other in our arms for a moment, catching our breath. Jane was beautiful, no matter what state she was in. Her hair covered bits of her face, as she grinned down at me. I felt like my heart was about to burst, as our lips collided once more, her hand reaching down into my pants. I leaned up, kissing her neck, before she pushed me back down, a mischievous smirk on her lips._

 _When it was all over, and we lay together naked and panting, I sighed, kissing her forehead. It was good. Not the sex. Well the sex was good too, but this was even better. Just having her in my arms, her arm draped around my chest, as I closed my eyes for a bit. If heaven is real, this must be what it feels like._

 _I thought about everything for a moment. How much I wanted this to happen every night. How I wanted to spend every moment with Jane. I loved her. I really did. I'd never actually loved someone before, not like this. This was different. I felt a different kind of happiness, and I soon craved it._

 _"I love you, Jane."_

 _The words slipped out of my mouth without my brain telling them to. I covered my mouth, and hoped she didn't hear it, and was asleep. But there she was, staring right up at me, green eyes looking straight into mine, searching for any hint of a lie in the sentence. I gulped nervously, afraid of what she would say, what she would do. Why did I say that? I'm an idiot. Jane didn't want that from this, we were supposed to just be friends, who occasionally got together. My stupid feelings were getting in the way again. Fuck me. But by the time I accepted my fate, she replied. "I love you too, Logan."_

 _Those five words caused my breathing to accelerate, as I smiled down at her, cupping her cheek in my hand, gently caressing her smooth face. "What?" I asked, a little stunned. She moved up, straddling me once more, kissing my nose. "You heard me." She answered, as I laughed a bit. "Jane...this is great. Everything." I grinned, and she nodded. "I know." She responded, smirking at me. We laughed, as I flipped her over onto her back, kissing her neck._

 _'That went well...'_

I grimaced, running a hand through my hair, the cool evening air rushing through it. I wasn't expecting even more stress from this whole situation. I couldn't get my mind off of Jane ever since Karen arrived, who had been chatting with me the entire day. After I finally convinced her I had to get to work, she let me go with a bit of information, which caused my heart to stop for a moment. Jane was coming back down.

This whole thing has been bothering me. Jesse had talked to me about it, still a little angry about our whole argument. I admitted he was right, and apologized for the bruises I gave him. He apologized as well, but I could still sense something underneath the smile. I had to fix that. Jesse was my best friend, and if there was anyone I could use watching my back right now, it would be him. I let out a defeated sigh, gripping the metal railing I leaned against tighter.

Jane coming back was like a bomb being dropped on me. Karen and I spoke for hours, as she caught me up on everything that was going on at home. Jane apparently was doing well for herself, as I had already been giving her and her mother a portion of my money from working here. Karen said she appreciated it, but I thought of it as necessary payment for leaving so suddenly. I was their support, and I couldn't find it in my heart to just leave them without a steady income. Even after everything Jane did to me. Karen told me about little Ian, who had grown up into a kind young man according to her. He was five, and was already working at home, helping around as much as a toddler could.

Ian was Jane's son. I was ecstatic over having a child, even though I soon realized he wasn't my child. That was the first betrayal that tore Jane and I apart. Ian wasn't my baby, even though I'd been taking care of Jane and her family for months, and I was even foolish enough to marry her. I had to drop out of a few missions for them, in order to stay with them and make sure they were alright. After all the times we'd been together, I sort of assumed it was my child. I was ready to be a father. I couldn't wait to teach the little guy or girl everything I knew. But when the baby was delivered, and those dark brown eyes met mine, my heart broke. He had auburn hair, and looked nothing like me. I found what little strength I had left and got a blood test, and found out he wasn't mine. That was what sent me over the edge. I gathered my shit and left without a word, only leaving behind a few thousand dollars. I thought Jane and I had something. But apparently she had been fooling around behind my back, and I was too blind to see it.

Jesse and I got out of dodge, and I changed my name to be safe. I guess it didn't work, seeing as they found me.

After everything I did for Jane, I thought we had something. Despite her telling me she loved me and promising me I was the only one, I couldn't look her in the eyes any longer. She tried on multiple occasions to make it up to me, and said she wanted to have another child, but I denied her every time. Jane betrayed me, and Jesse was right. He was the only one who told me how he really felt, and I ignored him. He said I shouldn't marry her, and he was right.

The entire ordeal drove me away from that place, as I buried myself in work to distract myself from the pain I felt. I took part in multiple heists, and murdered a good number of people, trying to stay away from everything. Depression caught up with me, and I used alcohol to escape it. For years I did the same thing. I worked hard and rose through the ranks in Deadlock, and supported Jane and her family with my money, since the actual father of Ian was dead. Even now, I kept a steady supply of money, and made sure they were alright.

Angela found me, as I heard her voice call from behind me. "So, when were you planning on telling me you had a wife and a different name?! Because I do not quite recall reading that in the records! You lied to me! What the hell is wrong with you?!" She yelled, and I couldn't blame her. She had a right to be angry. I should've told her. I just never found the right time.

"I'm sorry." I muttered. It was all I could say. She walked up to me, angrier than I'd ever seen her. "You're sorry?! Is that it?! I thought we had something here! I thought I could trust you!" She spat, each word becoming more laced with venom than the last. "Angie I..." I reached out to her, but she smacked my hand away. "Don't touch me! What were you thinking?! Logan huh?! Or is that just another fake name?!" She continued, each word cutting deep.

"My name was Logan. I changed it because I didn't want to live with Jane anymore. What the hell does a name even mean?! It's just a name! My name is Nathan, and that's who I am!" I was beginning to become angry, as she moved in closer to me. "So Nathan is just a man who runs away from his responsibilities when things get too hard?!"

"You don't even have a clue what happened! I changed my name so I could leave my past behind. I'm Nathan. It's who I am. I left Jane because she betrayed me! When I found out she was pregnant, I took responsibility! I got out of some dangerous jobs I signed up for in Deadlock to avoid dying! I wanted to take care of Jane and our child! But it turns out it wasn't my child! She fucked another guy and she got pregnant! And you know what?! To this day I still provide for that child and Jane. I've been giving them money to make sure they can live a good life! So fuck you for assuming everything that happened while also having no clue about anything!"

Angela backed down, as I sighed, pinching my nose in frustration. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. Just with everything that's happening, I can't think straight. You deserved a straight up answer. I shouldn't of lied to you. But I just wanted to keep you safe. I didn't want you dealing with my mistakes. I'm sorry. I promise you, I'm Nathan, and I always will be."

She stepped forward, gripping my shirt, as I smiled at her. "I love you, Angela." I spoke softly, as she smiled as well. "I love you too, _Nathan._ " She placed emphasis on my name, before she kissed me. It was unexpected to say the least, as I pulled her closer. It was a loving kiss, unlike most of the kisses I'd shared with women, usually full of lust. But it was different, and I enjoyed it, before it was cut short.

Angela backed away, placing her hands on her forehead. "What am I doing?" She muttered, shaking her head, as I smirked. "Relieving stress." I joked, but she didn't seem to find it humorous, taking a few steps back. "We can't do this. No. I need to get back to work. I-I should go." I watched as she left, smiling at her. I licked my lips in satisfaction, unable to wipe the grin of my face.

"And stop smiling damnit!" I heard her yell, and I laughed. "You got it Doc."

I didn't exactly follow her orders, smiling as I thought about the whole situation. Gave me a chance to forget about all the shit going on right now. I went against what Angela told me to do once again today, taking a long drag of a cigar. Jesse had given a few to me, stating I needed them more than him. And even though everyone knew it wasn't exactly good for you, I couldn't prevent myself from smoking. It had been a while, never really needed to. But I just needed a moment to relax, and be at ease for a bit.

It was beautiful outside, and once I finally got away from Karen's constant talking, I could actually enjoy it. Life wasn't all bad. Even though I have a 90 percent chance of dying by the end of the week, my best friend is pissed at me, my wife that I never properly divorced is coming back to fuck things up, her mother resents me without saying anything about it, and Angela although having kissed me still hates me, I still found a way to enjoy myself. Guess I'm as dumb as they all say, but I suppose the kiss put me in a good mood.

And it was only a matter of time before it's destroyed. A single voice turned my smile back to its original state as a concerned frown, and I tossed my cigar into the ocean without finishing. "Logan?"

Jane's voice was as pretty as ever, disguising her horrible interior and attitude. I hesitated, before turning around. And there she was, the woman who had already destroyed my life, back to do it a second time. She wore a card around her neck, so people didn't think she was an intruder. I was tempted to tear it off her and throw her out. After everything she did, that's the least she deserved.

"Hey." She spoke, her lips curving upwards into a light grin, as I couldn't return the same. She wore a leather jacket, reminding me of the first time I met her, with light blue jeans and black boots on the bottom. She looked good, if I was honest. Wasn't gonna change how I felt though. "Hey? It's been three years and that's all you've got to say?" I snapped already, and she sighed.

"I'm sorry. For everything. I hurt you, and I feel horrible." I growled. "Yeah it wouldn't be the first time." I began to push past her, but her hand shot up, grabbing mine. "I missed you." Those three words sent a spark of rage flying through me. That's all she had to say? She had the nerve to fucking say that?! "Yeah well I wish you would've stayed home."

Her usually hard and unforgiving eyes began to soften, as she sighed. "Ian misses you. Don't you think it's time we properly took care of our son?" I was walking away before she said that, but I stopped in my tracks, and stomped back to her. "He is NOT my son! He is your fuck up and you'll take care of him! Or is the money not enough?!" I stepped forward, as she began to back down. "You know it's not like that! I want him to have a father. He misses you. Isn't that enough?"

"He barely remembers me! He was two when I left! Cut the bullshit!" I yelled, and her fierce behavior came back up. That's the fight I was expecting from her. "It's not bullshit! We miss you! We all do! Logan you mean so much to me..." Jane slid her hand up to my cheek, thumb wiping the single tear that I shed. "Maybe you should've thought of that before you fucked another man." I replied, and Jane looked down in shame. "It was a one time thing. I got drunk, and you were with Deadlock. They said you'd probably die. I got a little to tipsy, and a man offered me his bed. He comforted me while you were gone."

"Oh so it's my fault?!" I exclaimed, and she punched my chest. "Yes! Yes it is! You left me alone! I thought you died! Do you know how it feels to think someone you love is dying while you live in comfort?! It's too much to bare." She slid her hands around my waist, and I hugged her back, without telling myself to. She was manipulating me wasn't she? Again. Fuck me.

"I've gotta go. Got some work to do." I attempted to excuse myself from the situation, but she wasn't taking it, following me on the way to my room in the barracks. Even after I told her to go on multiple occasions, she still followed like a stray cat. Jane was right on my heels by the time I entered my room, and I wasn't fast enough to slam the door on her. 'Great thinking idiot now you're alone with your wife who you still have feelings for. Good one you moron.' I thought to myself, as the room was dark, but I could still make out her features. She was as beautiful as I remembered.

"Jane you can't be in here." I commented, and she shrugged. "Since when have we been one to follow rules?" She joked, and I almost smiled at it. Almost. "Jane I have to go see Dr. Ziegler. I've got an important mission to go on and I can't miss training. She needs me."

"Ian needs you. Karen needs you. I need you. Our future family needs you." Jane replied, and I growled. "You had your chance. I'm sorry. But I can't do this. Not now." I grabbed my belt, fastening the holsters to my hips, ready for target practice with Angela. Anything to get away from this situation before I do something I'll regret. I gripped the door handle, before Jane grabbed my hand. "She doesn't have what we have."

I grunted, turning around to her, curious as to what she had to say. "And what do we have?" I asked, crossing my arms. She sat down on my bed in front of me, fiddling with a photo she had. It was taken during our wedding. We were in each other's arms, smiling at the camera, as I kissed her cheek. I remember burning that photo during one of my rants and tantrums. Guess she had another copy for herself. We looked happy in the photo, and young. Like most couples when they first marry. I remember that day. Even now, I remember it as a good day.

"Remember that night when we went and vandalized all those stores and shit?" She asked, and I stifled a grin, keeping my stern face. "Yeah. Yeah I do." I answered, and she continued. "And when we got back home, and we said we loved each other?"

I nodded, taking a seat beside her on the bed. "Yeah." Was all I could mutter, and she smiled. "I missed that. I missed us." Jane leaned in, as our lips were practically touching. 'What are you doing?' I screamed in my head, but I went against my better judgement, as we met in an emotional kiss, and my hand grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her close. 'No seriously! What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing?!' I scolded myself, as I slid her out of her leather jacket, hand going through her long brown hair. She moaned softly, as I bit her lip ever so playfully.

I came to my senses, jumping back from the bed. "No! No I can't! This...this isn't right..." I resisted, as I fumbled with the handle to the door. Jane looked as beautiful as ever. What was so wrong with it? 'She betrayed you! She fucked another man behind your back remember?! She's manipulating you! You're a fool!'

"Logan..." she muttered, reaching out to me, but I backed away, opening the door. "I've gotta go. I can't do this."

Closing the door behind me, I rushed outside, feeling like there was no air in the hallways, and that if I stayed I'd suffocate. I charged through the doors, not slowing down until I felt the pressure of those rooms leave me. I felt like they were slowly closing in on me.

The evening was ending, and the sun was setting, the sun being replaced with the pale moon, the clouds covering it. I sighed, my fingers twitching, as I let loose all of the pent up rage and aggression that came from when Karen first arrived. "FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK!" I shouted into the quiet night sky, as it echoed off the walls of the base. I threw my hat to the ground, slamming the trash can into the wall multiple times before throwing it as well. When the ground was littered with garbage and I felt my heart begin to slow back down and my breathing calmed, I sat down against the wall I used to bang the metal trash can.

My mind was running a marathon, as it refused to stop. What was I thinking?! I can't go back to that life! Not after everything that happened. I can't just forgive all of that and act like it never happened and go back to a happily ever after kind of story! It was all bullshit. Apparently it's hard to leave a woman you love behind like that, even after she broke your heart.

I felt tears well up in the back of my eyes, as I began to choke up. It was too much to take at once. All of this...I couldn't deal with it.

"Nathan?" I heard a familiar voice call, as I wiped my tears, and straightened myself up a bit to look presentable. "Fareeha?" I said, and she took steps forward, and I recognized her. She had a bag slung over her shoulder. She gave me a weak smile. "Hey kid. What are you doing?" I asked, pointing at her bag. Fareeha sighed.

"I'm packing. I've got an apartment now, and I was making sure I didn't miss anything." She explained, and I smiled. "Really? Where?" I asked, and she grinned. "Not too far from here. Gotta keep close in case I gotta pull your ass out of a fire or something." She joked, and I chuckled. "Yeah. How's your mom taking it?"

"Not too bad. She's handling it better than I expected. She's always been a bit over protective, but I convinced her it's time I start living my own life. She's already cried three times today."

I laughed, imagining the battle hardened soldier balling her eyes out. Fareeha took a few steps towards me, before I pulled her into a hug. "I'm gonna miss you ya little shit." I grinned, kissing her forehead. "You too Nathan. Thanks. For everything." We broke apart, as I smiled at her. "Jeez kid you're gonna make a man cry." I joked, as she smiled. "I'll see you around. I'm only one call away. I'll be sure to visit after the mission in Numbani." 'If I survive.' I bit my tongue, not wanting to be pessimistic.

"I know kiddo. Bye." I waved, as she began to walk away, giving me one last smile, before turning the corner. I was gonna miss her. Hopefully I'd see her again. Hopefully it wasn't goodbye.

Standing there, I thought about everything. About Fareeha moving out, Jane and Karen coming back here to bring me with them. Angela and I...and whatever that would entail for us. I'd be surprised if tomorrow morning my hair wasn't entirely gray from all the stress. I almost laughed at the thought, despite everything.

I heard footsteps behind me, and I turned, finding Jane behind me once again. She smiled at me softly. I frowned. "I'm sorry Jane." I apologized, and she shook her head. "Don't worry about it. It's good to see you anyways. You look good." She said, and I smiled. "I try." She giggled, and I took a step towards her. "You really want me to come home?" I raised an eyebrow, and she nodded her head.

"Of course. We all want you back with us." She said, pulling out a passport for an airport. I looked at it cautiously. She handed it to me, and I sighed, placing it in my pocket. "I can't just leave." I muttered, and she leaned into me. "Of course you can. I don't think they'll mind me borrowing you." She smirked, kissing me.

I thought of everyone here. Of my friends. Of the mission I have. I couldn't just leave. Could I? What about Angela? What do I say to her? That I love her but I have to leave? As Jane said goodbye and waved, I growled, reaching for another cigar.

It had been a long, and confusing day.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Let Me Let You Go

"Fuck me."

The fifteenth time I'd stated those two words and sighed in the last 24 hours. Guess I could use a less profane catchphrase. Guess I didn't have Lena's skill with witty comments and catchphrases.

Although this entire week gave me no reason to stop muttering the phrase under my breath, and the next few days sure as shit didn't do that either. So "fuck me" was the best thing I could come up with, and summed up this disaster of a week. First Karen comes back. That's already bad enough. Angela loses a good bit of trust in me, and probably resents me for never telling her and keeping the truth from her. Then Jane comes back, and I still have no clue how to feel about that. I damn near slept with her that one night, and as good as that sounded, I stopped it. Guess shit is going too fast.

Now here I am, looking like a complete ass, standing around with Angela focusing on the targets she fired on, with a look in her eyes that showed she wished it was me she was shooting. As much as I might not resist that idea, I had responsibilities to take care of, and I know Jane would bring me back to life just to kill me again for leaving. I almost laughed to myself.

Angela placed the weapon down with the might of a furious god, and I wondered if it was still safe to have her carry a working gun when my back is turned. When I met her eyes, I began to feel the urge to talk to her. That kiss we shared was great, but she didn't seem to feel the same way. "So...Angie...I was wondering if you'd like to get some coffee, settle down a bit?" I asked, and she simply stared at me. "I think you know my answer to that proposal." She scowled, and I shrugged. "Worth a shot."

She moved past me, and I grabbed her arm, squeezing it gently. "I'm sorry." I apologized once again to the doctor, and she turned, rage in her eyes. "Sorry for what? Sorry for lying to me about your past? Sorry for still being with Jane after she broke your heart? Sorry for being a complete and utter selfish idiot for the past week? Or are you simply sorry in hopes of kissing me again?" Angela snapped, and I shrunk back into the leather jacket I wore.

"All four at once I suppose." I replied, and was met with a quick punch to the nose. I recoiled back, grabbing my nose in pain, grunting. With a small crack and a wince of pain I snapped my nose back into place. I felt the blood drip down my nose, reaching the stubble that had grown on my face, staining the hairs. "Wrong answer?" I asked, and I was rewarded with another smack to the lip. "Okay, god damn..." I muttered, wiping my nose.

"You're an ass you know that?" She asked, and I nodded. "Not the first time someone's reminded me of that. Actually you and Jane should get together, talk about how much you two hate me. How's that sound? A little play date for you two? I could arrange that." I smiled sarcastically, and she growled. "I wouldn't want to waste my breath. You'll be gone before I could even utter a word, and with a new name."

"Holy shit will you give me a break over the whole name thing?!" I called out to her, as she continued walking, forcing me to keep up with her. "Well I don't know even what to call you, so giving you a break might be difficult Logan." Angela continued, and I sighed. "Don't call me that." I responded to the harsh words with an assertive tone. She wasn't gonna walk all over me. "Oh. Did I hurt your feelings? Should I address you as Nathan or John Doe?"

"For fucks sake will you slow down and let me explain myself to you?!" I shouted, and she paused, stopping in her tracks. I took it as a sign I could explain. I took a deep breath, and began.

"My name was Logan. Jane and I got together when I was 17. Lasted a few years, got married during our first year together. Ian was born when I was 19, and I left when I was 21. So there, you have it in chronological order. I kept this from you because I wanted to leave it behind. I changed my name for a reason. There were chances I could've told you, for sure, but why ruin what we have? This...this is what I want. Not Jane. Not anything else. If I'm gonna die to some terrorist with a metal fist, at least give me the satisfaction of knowing you love me too."

A long pause came between us, and I stood there paralyzed, waiting for her reply. "Leave."

"W-what? What do you mean leave?" I stammered, surprised by the sharp tone she adopted. "I mean leave. I mean go home. To your child. To your wife. To a normal life. Leave it all behind, like you always do." Angela answered, and I looked down in shame. "I love you." I muttered, moving towards her, reaching out. "You don't get to just say that." She spoke up, and I said the same three words even louder. "I love you."

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked, and I smiled. "I love you." Even louder. "I love you." Each time getting louder and more prominent, as I got closer and closer to her, before placing a hand on her cheek. She shuddered, leaning into my hand. Angela closed her eyes, as I took one final step forward. "I-"

"LOGAN!"

"Oh fuck me." I muttered. Make that sixteen times. Jane came barreling down the corner, her brown hair up in a ponytail, as she sprinted down to me. Angela pushed herself away from me, and I growled. "Logan...it's Ian." Jane spoke softly, grabbing the collar of my jacket. She pulled me close, almost like she was trying to prove I was hers to Angela. As awkward as I could expect it.

"Ian? What do you mean? He's down back at the house right?" I asked, and she didn't respond, and I sighed. "Right?" I repeated myself, and she shook her head. "He's in the hospital, there was a car crash. He's down in the local hospital near here." Jane explained, her green eyes frantically looking into mine as if they held the key to all her problems. Probably did now that I thought about it.

I turned to Angela, and she only nodded. She understood, and I could tell she would cover for me while I was gone. Silently thanking her, I turned back to my wife. "Head down to the car, I'll meet you there, gotta grab my shit." I smiled, kissing her forehead, turning to leave, before her hand gripped mine, pulling me back into another kiss, this one more passionate. "Be careful." She smiled. I grinned. "Yeah."

Soon I met Angela's cold and furious eyes, as I realized probably not the best time to have tried to confess my love to her. Guess it was another thing I had to apologize for. But it would have to wait. For now all I could think about was Ian. My little baby boy. My son.

Later...

The hospital was nearly empty, as Jane held my hand, rushing with me down to Ian. She was horribly worried, I guess her motherly instincts had kicked in. Despite how I predicted she would be as mother, she proved how good she was at it. A better mother than I was a father. Even though I wasn't the father but still. She took care of Ian when I was away. Ian always calmed down when he was with her, and she loved the boy. And it's hard to get a woman like Jane to love you, but Ian did it effortlessly. The moment she laid eyes upon her little baby, you knew he meant the world to her.

And he still does.

With me it was a little different obviously, once I could tell he wasn't mine within seconds of his birth. But believe it or not I still took care of the kid. It wasn't his fault his mom fucked another man. I'd be damned if I let the kid go without proper care and food just because his father was dead. So if it meant stepping up, I did so. I took responsibility for the kid. I even started to like his cute little freckles, and red hair.

And there he sat, calmly sleeping, as his little chest rose up and down, softly breathing. He was hooked up to an IV, with a few scrapes and bruises on him. He had a cut under his left cheek, and a bruise covering a portion of his nose. He was still as cute as I remembered him. Leaving him was the hardest part of leaving my past behind.

The nurse who escorted us to his room placed a hand on my shoulder, as Jane knelt beside his bed, holding his hand. "He's gonna be okay, right?" I asked, and she sighed. "He was pretty roughed up when we found him in the crash. Broken arm, bruises, internal bleeding. It can be very traumatic for a child." She said, and I ran a hand through my hair, growing worried. "But he's a tough kid. He's gonna be okay. If I was a betting woman, I'd place my money on a full recovery. Your son will be okay, Mr. Parker.

 _Son._

The word echoed through my head, as I offered a grateful smile. "Thanks." I replied, and the nurse exited, shutting the door behind her.

'Son...' I thought, liking the sound of that. I placed a hand on Jane's back, as she sobbed, looking at her child. "It's my fault." She muttered, and I frowned. "No it's not Jane. You're not responsible for it." I replied, placing my arm around her shoulder, pulling her into me, as she rested her head on my shoulder. "It is...I was trying to bring him down to see you...if I didn't he'd be okay. He'd be back home."

I sighed, kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry. I really am." I offered, and she smiled. "It's okay. Ian would be glad you're here."

"Of course. I wouldn't miss this. I love the little guy." I grinned, reminiscing of my fond memories with him when he was an infant. He'd grown quite a bit since then. "He loves you too. You used to always sleep with him when he cried. I'd wake up to find you cuddling with him, holding him in your arms. My two boys..." she smiled, a tear rolling down her cheek.

I placed my hand under her chin, forcing her to look me in the eye. I wiped the tear away. "Hey...don't cry. I'm here darling." I hushed her, pulling her into a loving hug. "I love you, Logan." She said, and I gulped. I couldn't find it in myself to say it back.

We separated, and I offered her a warm smile, squeezing her hand softly. She was so beautiful. I still loved her. Even after everything. Those feelings were still there, and they were just now resurfacing, as I stared into her eyes. I didn't resist, as she kissed me, her hand reaching up to my chest. I relished in the taste of her lips, since it had become so foreign to me. I missed it. All of this.

For a while, we sat there, looking at Ian, as he slept peacefully, holding each other close, waiting for him to wake up. It was good. The silence, as I couldn't help but smile. Despite all the shit going on, I still loved this. I loved her. Jane Wilson. Jane Parker. I hadn't referred to her as that since I left, yet it felt so right to call her that.

It was all so confusing. I felt this way before. When we had first gotten together, and when we first realized she was pregnant. I thought the feeling would last forever. But after everything we had been through, it was difficult to still look at her the same way. All the fights, the yelling, the abuse. I didn't want to go back to that. I left the life behind for a reason. I couldn't just walk back home with them and pretend nothing ever happened. Hell I still haven't decided if that would be a good thing.

"Remember our wedding?" The words snapped me back to reality and away from my jumbled thoughts. "Yeah." I grinned, chuckling a bit. "We were so poor, our wedding ring ended up being a rubber band." I laughed, and she giggled, as we remembered our past. My past life. "And the cake was made of styrofoam." Jane added, and I smiled. "Nothing more romantic in the entire world." I joked. "Yeah, it sucked having to learn the hard way it wasn't a real cake." She laughed, and I sighed. "I told you it wasn't real!" I exclaimed, as we laughed for a while.

The wedding was as cheap as ever, with us deciding on getting married, skipping the whole engagement thing and getting right to the wedding. The best man was a mannequin since I didn't have time to invite Jesse, and the flower girl was Jane, as she threw flowers out in front of her before stepping forward. We ended up getting a ring once I saved up enough money, and it was good to have. I still had the ring, and half of the rubber band I used to marry her. I guess I didn't leave everything behind.

"I want you to come home." Jane said, and I frowned. "I know." I said, and she looked at me, clicking her tongue. "So are you?" She asked, and I groaned. "I don't know. I really don't." I muttered, placing my head in my hands. "I've got an important mission coming up. I can't just leave. I have people depending on me." I continued, and Jane growled. "You don't have to. You can just leave. They don't need you. You're just another number to them. And if you die they'll have plenty more to take your place." I laughed. "Yeah thanks for the support."

"I'm serious. To them you don't matter. You're just another number to those fuckers. The only thing that matters is us. You, me, Ian, Karen. A family. What we used to have. I don't want to lose you to some organization who doesn't care about people like us. We need you, Logan."

Can't I just for once have a moment of peace without worrying about my death?

Before I could respond to Jane, I heard a knock at the door, and we both turned away from Ian, as Lena peeked in. "Hey luv! Just checking in on ya Nate." She smiled, and I nodded. "Yeah...thanks." I replied, and Jane stood up. "I'll leave you two to catch up. You need something Logan?" She asked, and I smiled. "A water please." She nodded in response, slipping by Lena.

When we were alone, Lena laughed nervously. "So...how's Ian?" She asked, and I sighed. "Nurse said he'll be okay. Just gotta wait for him to wake up." I answered, and she nodded. "Good, good. I came as soon as I could." Lena said, taking a seat beside me. "You didn't have to." I shrugged, and she smirked. "Well it was that or wait around doing nothing until the mission in Numbani. So here I am." She grinned, and I nodded.

"How're you holding up?" She asked, and I smiled. "I've been better." I admitted, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I've got Angela jumping down my throat about all of this, and Jane wants me to come home with her. Ian just got into a crash, and there is a high chance my friends and I all die in the next few days to a terrorist with a fucking golden metal fist."

"The usual?" Lena joked, and I laughed. "You know it." We grinned at one another, and I sighed. "You know Lena, you're the only one who hasn't been all pissy with me over my past." I said, and Lena shrugged. "What're friends for? Why should I care if ya changed your name? I trust ya, no matter what the hell your name is."

"Thanks Lena. It means a lot to have you watching my back." I smiled, and she playfully punched my shoulder. "No problem Nate. I've got you. You need someone to talk to, just give me a call."

"Speaking of which, I've been meaning to talk to you about something." Lena said, and it caught my interest. I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? What's that?" I asked, and Lena took a deep breath.

"I'm gay."

I took a moment to process the sentence, taking a good look at her, as she fiddled with her thumbs. She clearly thought of this as a big deal, and seemed to regret saying it the moment she realized she did so. She was still closeted I suppose, so it meant a lot to have her trust me with that. I smiled. "That it?" I asked, and her eyes widened. "I mean I was expecting a surprise." I laughed, and she punched my arm, much harder this time. "Well sorry. Guess I'm not as shocking as you with my past. Maybe I should get a new name." She replied, and I smiled. "Maybe."

There was a bit of silence, as I couldn't help but smile at her. "I'm not really surprised." I stated, and she frowned. "What?" She asked, and I clicked my tongue. "Well I could tell when we first met. The way you acted, the rather manly attributes and traits, how you were much more relaxed around guys, the way you look at Angela when she passes by in the hallway, like a deprived dog." I teased, and she blushed. "I do not stare at Angela."

"Oh come on! Don't deny it. I do it too." I assured her, and she shook her head, smiling. "It's good to talk with you." Lena smiled, and I returned the same grin. "Yeah. I'm glad you trusted me with that kind of stuff." I placed a hand on her shoulder, and we both stood up. I hugged her tightly, patting her back gently. "Thanks for coming to see me Lena. I don't know what I'm doing if I'm honest."

We broke apart, and she smiled. "None of us know what we're doing. Just do what you think is right. I'll see you around Nate." She advised, and I nodded. "Yeah. I'll see ya." I said, waving. Lena opened the door, being met with Angela face to face, as they both backed away immediately. "Sorry doc." Lena blushed, placing her hands behind her back. I grinned, as Lena began to awkwardly maneuver around Angela, all while muttering an apology every few seconds. 'Well that was something.' I thought to myself.

I avoided eye contact with the her, taking a seat back down in my chair. Angela stepped towards Ian, placing a hand on his arm. "He's a very handsome boy." She commented, and I grinned, agreeing. "Yeah."

Angela turned to me, and I was practically forced to meet her eyes. "You feeling alright?" She asked, and I frowned. "It's rough, but I'm hanging in there. It's hard to see him like this." I spoke, and Angela's voice softened, as she sat beside me. Sitting in silence, I stared at Ian, wondering when he would wake up. "He'll be alright, if he's anything like you."

I laughed. "If he's half as stubborn..." I joked, and she giggled. "I love you, you know that right?" Angela smiled, and I grinned. "I love you too."

I began to lean in, despite telling myself not to. She seemed to do the same. "It would be easy to go back to how things were." She added, and I nodded. "Yeah, it would." I muttered. "We were different people." Angela said, and I could tell where this was going. I growled. "I want to make this work. I'm willing to give all of this up, for you. Jane, Ian, Karen, everything, for you. I want this. I want to live my life with you." I pleaded, and Angela looked me in the eyes.

"We can't. You know that. You have a life, and I won't allow you to leave your family for me." She responded, as cold as ever. "Please." I muttered, grabbing her hand. She pulled it away in response. "I used to like it. The whole bad boy thing. The danger. How I didn't know everything about you. The mystery...but I can't have that anymore. You need to let go...let me let you go."

"Angela I..." I leaned in, but she turned away, not looking at me, as I stopped, as she made it clear she didn't want the same. "You know I can't just let you go." I muttered, and Angela opened her mouth to speak, but a weak voice came from the bed beside us.

"Dad?"

I turned, finding Ian awake, his eyes meeting mine, as I stood from my seat. "Hey little guy...oh it's so good to see you..." I said, holding him in my arms. I felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes, as I held him in my arms once again. Ian. My son. He wasn't just some boy. He was my son. I hushed him, as I swayed back and forth.

"You're coming home aren't you dad?" His young and joyful eyes met mine. I looked down on him, and smiled. I loved him, and I couldn't just leave him. I laughed to myself, pulling him to my chest, feeling the tears of joy begin to seep out. "Yeah. Of course."

I turned back to Angela, who stared at me, a sad look in her eyes. I frowned, and sighed deeply. I thought of everything. Of going back home, and seeing everyone again, and living a normal life. Going back with Jane and Ian. I thought about what Jane said about being another number to Overwatch, and I couldn't help but worry she was right. Angela said she wanted me to leave. But a part of me felt like she didn't mean it. She still wanted me here.

Hell I still wanted to be here with everyone, even if it meant death. I could still be with Jesse, Lena, Genji, Ana, Fareeha, Gabriel, and Angela for a while. They're family too, and I can't just leave them. No matter what choice I make I leave behind people I love. I had two lives. Two diverging paths, with no clear happy ending for either of them. Logan, or Nathan.

"I'm coming home."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: A Choice

I had sat here for hours already, staring at the crinkled up passport for the plane scheduled tonight. A plane back home, with Jane. She said she'd meet me there, and I said I'd be there. Almost a promise of sorts to her. Although I've never been an honest man, this promise felt important. Hell, it was a big choice. I've spent years living two lives, and I figure it's about time I choose between the two of them. I can't play both sides anymore.

Looking away from the passport for a moment, I glanced at the clock, realizing it was two in the morning. I originally sat down in my bed today at six in the afternoon.

Today was the day. The biggest mission in Overwatch history. In the coming hours we'd all pack our gear, and face off against Akande and his pack of thugs. Talon has been responsible for the death of thousands already in the city, and we evacuated what was left of the population. Talon has been trying to undo everything we've done, and destroy the shaky peace we've made between humanity and the omnics after the crisis. Tensions are still relatively low, but may rise if we don't do something about it.

And it couldn't be a coincidence they were attacking a city where omnics and humans lived together in harmony, where they were seen as equals. A utopia, some might say.

It didn't help make this choice any easier. I had a group to head out with, one of the most important strike teams in the whole assault. Jesse, Genji, and Angela were counting on me. In a few hours we'd be expected to stand by one another as we get flanked from all sides, and distract most of Akande's forces away from Jack's strike team, which held Gabriel and Ana as well. I was scared. It takes a strong man to admit that. Never before did I openly allow myself to be fearful of what is yet to come. Father always taught me to stand tall in the face of death, and fight to my last breath. Leaving the mission and going away with Jane would make me everything my dad detested. A coward, tucking my tail between my legs and running.

But if I went on this mission, there is no guarantee I make it back. Hell it's basically guaranteed I die. And running away from my past life and family would make me just as much of a coward as running from Overwatch would. Either way I was a horrible person, who deserved everything coming my way and more. I condemned an innocent child and his mother to a shitty life, all because I was jealous of his father. I was selfish, greedy, and an evil man, no better than the injustice I fought against. I was no hero, no matter how hard I strived to fool myself into believing the opposite.

I deserve death. I've come to terms with it. So it's a choice. Go ahead and die an honorable death fighting against a tyrant who murdered countless people, or go home, and face my family and own up to my past mistakes, and hope against all hope that my friends made it out okay.

Standing up, I grabbed the bag full of my clothes and revolvers, and gripped my door handle, taking one long look at my room. It was a piece of shit really, mostly because I lacked the time and work ethic to keep it clean. Though I cleaned up my bed, mostly as a gesture of good faith towards the janitors who'd have to clean it. I smiled, remembering my first time in the room. The bed was as hard as a rock, along with the pillow, but my poor back got used to it. A part of me wanted to stay, but I knew I had family back home.

Exiting the room, I made my way out of the barracks. I kept quiet, not wanting to wake anyone. When I made it out, I let out a sigh of relief, and placed a hand on the entryway. I was getting really sentimental, so I figured it would be best for me if I just kept moving without thinking too much.

Nearing the bar, I could hear Jesse grumbling to himself, probably drinking away his worries before the mission. Taking a step towards the noise, I heard Lena clear her throat, gaining my attention. I sighed, turning to face her. "Going home huh?" She asked, and I offered a remorseful smile. "Yeah." I muttered weakly, unable to maintain eye contact with her.

"Good luck Nate, or Logan, or whatever your name is." She stammered, and I chuckled lightly. "It's Nathan. Remember me won't you?" I asked, and she nodded. "Yeah. Who wouldn't?" Lena replied, a sheepish smile gracing her lips. "I'm sorry." I apologized, and she shook her head. "It's alright luv. I understand why you've got to go. I'm not mad atcha'. Just wish we could part on better circumstances is all."

Sighing, I looked down in shame. "You don't think I'm a coward do you?" I faced her once more, and she hesitated, her voice hitching. "No. I don't. I can't say anythin' for the others but I don't at least." I smiled, as she grinned at me. "I'll miss you, Lena." I said, and she paused, her eyes beginning to water. She blinked over to me, almost tackling me as she hugged me tightly.

"You too Clint Eastwood. You too..." she began to sob, but I placed a comforting hand on her back, laughing. "I'll be sure to visit, I promise. Tell me all about the mission won't ya?" I tried to lighten to mood and be positive, and she giggled. "Yeah."

We broke from the hug, and we smiled at one another one last time, as she wiped her tears away. I glanced down at Jesse, who sat in his usual spot in the bar. I exhaled shakily, as Lena called out to me. "I'll tell Jesse about it all later. You should go, he might try and stop you." I nodded. "Thanks. Goodbye Lena."

"Yeah." She muttered, walking down the hallway, as I watched her go. I just wished my best friend farewell right before her biggest mission yet. I was an asshole. It was difficult to stop myself from running after her, and telling her I'd stay here, but I had responsibilities back home. Things I couldn't just leave behind, even for those I loved.

Turning to the bar, I walked down there. I tried to keep myself from staring, but I couldn't help it. This was where Jesse and I used to always hang out together. The first time we ever really sat down and had a beer together was in that very room. My first few weeks here, and he was my only real friend. And here I was, leaving him without a word, just packing my stuff and leaving. He'll hate me forever. I wish it didn't have to be this way.

Pushing forward, I began moving at a faster pace, trying to avoid any heartfelt goodbyes. I had to leave. Each time I'd stop to talk to someone would make it more difficult. I made my decision, and I had to live with the consequences, even if it meant leaving my friends to an unknown fate without a goodbye.

I soon found myself outside of Captain Amari's office, facing the door. I smiled, remembering all the times we talked. She was a mother to me, and took care of me. She was the first one to believe in me, and always looked out for me. I love her, and I always will, for everything she's done for me. Ana helped me out with my training, and told me when I was being an idiot. She helped me with getting ready for escorting Angela to the event. Tears threatened to burst out, as I choked up, muttering my last words to her, hoping someway somehow she could hear me. "Thank you."

Wiping my tears, I forced myself to continue forward. I had to get to my taxi and get to the airport. I looked back at the door to her office, before picking up the pace. I could cry later. I took long and fast strides through the hallways, as if moving quickly would prevent me from going through so many emotions. I was trying to run from everything. From my mistakes, from my past. Just like I always did. Just like I always will.

Stopping once more, I stood outside Angela's office. Angela...This was everything to me. She meant so much to me. And I was just leaving her like this. Leaving her to die. I remembered my first time meeting her just like it was yesterday, the first time seeing her. She was beautiful, and I instantly saw something in her. Something I hadn't seen in anyone. Angela cared about her work here, cared about the well being of others. She fought for peace, and helped so many people in her short time on this earth already. If anyone was gonna make a change, I was certain it would be her.

So I did something stupid, and something I instantly regretted. I opened her door, finding her wide awake, working on her staff. There she was, the woman I loved. My heart dropped when her eyes met mine, and a look of disgust washed over her. Nothing ever hurt me more.

"What? Back to apologize for lying once again?" She snapped already, and I smiled. "I came to say goodbye." Angela stopped working, looking at me for a moment, before standing from her desk, rushing over to me. "No. No you're not." She refused, and I sighed. "Angie I've got to go. I have a family to go back to." I replied, and she cut in. "A family that you left! A child that you left without a father. A family that you don't care about! What a family man you are?!" She mocked me, and I growled. "You have no clue what you're talking about! Just shut up!"

"No. I won't just shut up! You can't just spend time with us all and just leave before the mission! You're a coward! You're not a man! You're not anything!" She yelled, and I began shouting as well, unable to keep quiet. "I have things I need to do! Just because I can't stay here to be your husband and take care of you and please you doesn't make me any less of a man!"

"Well seeing as you're such a good husband to Jane I should be so disappointed in you!" Angela offered a cruel smile, and I clenched my fists. "You know that's not fair!" I retorted, and she crossed her arms. "I know a lot of things. And I know that you're a cruel person. I know you tell yourself you have to leave us to make sure you can go to sleep at night. You tell yourself it's because of your family. But I know the truth. You're scared. You're a scared little boy, running to his family back home."

I stood there, staring at her, and what we had become. Things used to be so different. She was right. We were different people entirely. "What?! Realize I'm right?! Is that it?!" She shouted, and I smiled at her softly. "I love you, Angela." Was all I could mutter. It was all I could think of. Her fist struck my face, sending me back to the wall. "Shut up!"

"I love you." I repeated, and once more another punch was thrown my way. I felt it crack my nose, as I cursed under my breath. "I love you."

"Shut up!" She yelled, beginning to wail on me, as I didn't stop her. I let her continue, blood trickling out of my mouth. I coughed, the crimson red painting the white floor. I was starting to regret teaching her hand to hand combat, feeling each punch leaving bruises. "Why do you have to be this way?! Why can't you just be with us?! Why don't you love us?! You're just running away again?!" Each punch came after the other, as I grabbed her fist, stopping her from striking me again. I grabbed my jaw, feeling it become sore. "I'm sorry." I muttered, wincing as pain shot through my head.

She stopped, panting, tears in her eyes. "I can't stay. I have a child to take care of. A family." I turned to grab the door handle, sniffing the blood back into my nose. "We can be your family," Angela sobbed, "I can be your family..."

I stopped, slowly turning back to her. "You already are family. You always will be." I smiled, feeling it stretch the cut on my lip even further. Angela covered her face, sobbing into her hands. "Stay." Angela muttered.

After knowing her for so long, I'd yet to hear her beg. Never heard her sound so weak, as her voice cracked. She sounded small, like she was afraid of being alone. Angela was begging for me to stay. Hell I was begging myself to stay. But I mustered up the strength I had left in me, and spoke my last words to her. "Stay safe, Dr. Ziegler."

Opening the door to leave, I took a look at her, as she curled up into a ball on her desk, sobbing loudly. I inhaled, fighting myself over what to do. So much of me wanted to comfort her. I'd been waiting months to hear her tell me to stay, but now that it happened, it felt so meaningless. Like nothing was worth it. I love her. No...I loved her. A past life. Something that could've been, but I suppose it wasn't meant to be. And now, like I did with every woman I've ever been with in my life, I had to leave her behind.

Shutting the door felt impossible. Almost like it was an insurmountable task. But I did it. I heard the door click shut as I let go of the handle, before sighing.

Soon enough, I found myself outside, placing my bags into the taxi. I turned, giving the base one good look before going. I remember first seeing the exterior of the place. I remembered trying to find the best position in a shootout. I laughed to myself, before snapping to reality. The Overwatch insignia flapped in the wind on the flag, as the cool night wind sent shivers down my spine. I smiled. "Thanks. For everything."

I stepped into the cab, as the driver turned to me, giving me an odd look, since I looked like I just got out of getting my ass kicked. "Where do you need to go?" He asked, and I grinned politely. "Down to the airport." I answered, and he nodded, beginning to drive away. "You one of those visitors? The ones that went to see their family?" He looked in the rear view mirror, as I stared out the window. "You could say that."

"Looks like it went well." He joked, referring to my black eye and bloody nose. I laughed, even though it hurt to do so. "Yeah." I muttered, watching as the base began to disappear from sight, becoming smaller and smaller, until I couldn't see it. 'Goodbye.'

Later...

Making my way through the airport, I passed by several strangers, offering me weird looks, as I still had yet to completely clean myself up. I didn't bother. I was too busy trying to stop myself from crying. I was already a broken down wreck, and crying would only make things worse.

The place was crowded, even for two in the morning, as I kept moving. My plane was down on the other end of the room, as I found myself in a line, waiting with the others to board it. I tried to keep my mind off of what I was doing, placing my hands in my pocket, finding a photo I kept. It was torn on one corner, but I still kept it close, despite the wear and tear. I was smiling at the camera, offering it a thumbs up while Angela focused on fixing my dislocated thumb.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, as I smiled at the photo. Ana had taken it. Happened after one of my first missions, when I fell out a window and landed on my thumb. I kept it since I thought it showcased how out of place I was in a organization like Overwatch. My stupid smile, as Angela furrowed her brows.

I wiped my tear away, moving forward in the line, as I grabbed my passport so they could check it. Now wasn't the time for doubt. I had a family back home who missed me. Who loved me. "We can be your family..." the sentence echoed in my head, as I growled, shaking my head. I have to go. I have to.

My mind began to wander, thinking about everyone I was leaving behind. "Good work kid." Gabriel grinned, as I clenched my fist. "I'll stand by you." Jesse said. "I like it when you smile." Lena laughed, and I smiled in return. "I could barely recognize you without the hat." Genji joked, and I laughed to myself, others in line turning to me, earning even more judgmental glances. "There is no justice in this world. Not unless we make it." Ana kissed my forehead. "I'll be sure to visit after the mission in Numbani." Fareeha hugged me.

I took a step forward, turning back behind me. I could still leave. Still be with them. My new family. 'They had their chance.' I thought, but then again Jane had the same chance. How could I just leave them behind in their time of need? Angela was right. I was a coward. How could I even look in a mirror? I'm a monster. I looked forward, as I stopped in front of the omnic, who held his hand out for my passport for me to enter the plane. "Sir?" His voice came. "I love you, Logan." Jane said, and I handed the omnic the papers. He scanned it, before stamping it, as I felt another tear roll down my cheek.

"Here you go sir." He held his hand out, as I took another glance back from where I came. I frowned. The omnic took another step forward. "Sir are you quite alright? Do you require assistance?"

I met his eyes, and I hesitated to reach out for the passport. "I love you, _Nathan._ " Angela said. I smiled.

And I ran.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys! Wanted to thank all of you for the support and reviews recently! It means a lot, and I hope I can keep making you happy. Here is a chapter I've spent a while on, rewriting and rewriting over and over again, hence why it took so long for me to publish it! Sorry for making you all wait for so long!**

Chapter 16: Suicide Mission

The hallways were filled to the brim with agents scattering throughout the base, all of them either nervous, or brave. That or they were just stupid. I don't know about them but I'm willing to admit I'm shitting my pants right about now.

I placed my gear on myself, taking a long look at the mirror. There I was. Timid and afraid eyes, stubble, long messy hair, and a scar over my right eye from Angela beating the shit out of me. It ran along the edge of my eyebrow, along with a thick red gash beside it. I snickered to myself. Guess Angela won't have to worry about hand to hand combat.

Angela...I sighed, slouching my shoulders slightly. I made my choice. I chose her, over Jane. Over my family. Over my past life. This was my family now. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to protect them, even die. And seems like that's going to be the case. There was a good chance this is the last time I'll be looking in a mirror. The last time I'll ever be in this base. The last time I'll be able to admire the handsome devil staring back at me. I smiled weakly, and left my room, returning to the chaos around me.

I pushed past everyone, each step towards my destination making me more and more nervous. My heart was beating quickly, adrenaline flowing through my veins, as my hands almost seemed to know they'd have a busy day ahead of them. A lot of killing to do.

A large number of agents were responsible for treating any wounded and searching for civilians in the streets. Although Overwatch and the UN tried it's best to evacuate Numbani, most people ended up being left behind. My strike team was responsible for an assault, rather than helping and treating others. The most important assault of them all in fact. Like it or not, no matter how many fancy names they slapped onto us and labeled us with, we were bait. We'd move in, distract most forces towards us, allowing other strike teams to take vantage points and flank them.

Our path also meant we'd likely run in with the infamous "Doomfist". I had thought for a while about how I'd like to die. Getting my head punched off was not one of them. Though I doubt it's really up to me. Hell I'm willing to bet Angela would love to see that after all the shit I've pulled recently. I can't blame her either.

And there they were. My squad. My team. My friends. Or what was left of them after I damn near cut off all ties with them.

Genji sat calmly in the aircraft, sharpening his blades diligently, completely ignoring the shit going on around him.

Jesse stood there, tapping his finger along his revolver, clearly nervous, tapping his feet to some foreign beat I couldn't recognize. His eyes were blank, not showing much emotion. He looked empty, an emotionless glare staring from underneath his hat, tilted low. He moved over to the aircraft, taking a seat on one of the crates beside it, polishing his boot.

I smiled, and gathered up the strength to make my way over to them. I braced myself for multiple strikes to the face. When I arrived near Jesse, his eyes looked up in response to the sound of my boots, and his glare turned into a gentle grin, as he rose from his seat. His eyes widened, before pulling me into a hug. "Holy shit! You're here! Lena told me you up an' left to be with Jane..." he exclaimed, as I patted his back softly, smiling. "I couldn't just leave my best friends. We're in this together." I replied.

"Good to hear." He chuckled, as I nodded. Genji stood from his seat, before stepping towards me. "Good to see you've come to stand beside us once more, Nathan." I smiled. Nathan. That was my name now wasn't it? Should probably get used to that huh? "Wouldn't miss it for anything."

"Even a crazy wife, it seems." He nodded, and I laughed. "It's good to see you, Shim Sham." I smirked, as he sighed at the use of his nickname. "I wish I could say the same." He laughed, and I grinned. "Aww come on you love me." I nudged his shoulder with my elbow, as I set my bag down. I turned back at the sound of my name being yelled out across the hangar, as my eyes met Lena rushing over to me.

I smiled, as she damn near tackled me, wrapping me up in a warm and welcoming hug. "I knew you didn't leave! I knew you'd come back!" She giggled, as I huffed, catching my breath. "Good to see you too." She broke from the hug, a huge grin on her face. "Come to wish me good luck?" I grinned, and she shrugged. "Nathan Parker never needed it before. Doubt he will now!" She answered, and I nodded. "Let's hope I won't ever need it."

"You won't. Now, I've gotta get going. Winston needs me for something before we head out. I'll see you on the other side." She winked, and I smiled, trying to mask the fear I had deep down inside. She didn't need to know. Needed to keep it to myself. "You know it." I replied, tipping my hat, before she zipped off. If only I could be that happy before a mission like this.

I felt the fear hit me as soon as her presence left me, and I looked down, my right hand shaking. This was what I was doing. Going out with my friends to try and save thousands of lives, and take down one of the most dangerous criminals of all time, all while trying to keep our heads securely attached to our shoulders. Sounded simple enough. I sighed, trying to keep myself from puking. I'd never been so nervous before fight. But this wasn't a fight. This was a suicide mission. I wasn't expected to come back. But this was the choice I made. And I had to live with the consequences. Or die with them, either way acceptable. Preferably living with them.

"Hey family man! Genji and I are gonna make sure everything is ship-shape up in the aircraft. You catch up with Angela." Jesse smiled, as I rolled my eyes. "Yes thank you. Leave me with the woman who nearly beat me to death." I joked, and Genji made an amused noise. "Better that than Doomfist now isn't it?" He mocked me, as they walked inside the aircraft, leaving me alone.

Not alone for long though, as my eyes met Angela's. She wore her combat-medic gear, her cap secured on her head, as I felt my heart drop. There she was. The woman I loved, although she damn near killed me. Not saying I didn't deserve it.

She stopped in her tracks, staring at me. There wasn't any emotion behind her eyes, as she stood in front of me, just a few inches from me. "Good to see you." I grinned, and she shrugged past me, trying to make her way to our aircraft. "Hey! I came back. The least you could do is talk to me." I growled, as she sighed, turning back to me. "We have a job to do. Talking with one another about past feelings and relationships won't help further our mission and help those in need. So if you wouldn't mind would you be so kind as to allow me to get ready for our mission together."

I nodded, biting my tongue, feeling horrible for everything I'd ever done to the woman. I looked down in shame, running a finger along the scar on my right eyebrow. Angela stopped again, and took a few steps towards me once more. "And just because you came back doesn't mean I owe you anything. I don't want you to try and flirt with me, or try and joke with me or distract me from my goals. You will not speak with me unless the subject is strictly professional. Understood?" Her icy blue eyes stared daggers into mine, as I bit my lip. "Listen I'm sor-" I tried to apologize, before she interrupted me. "Understood?"

"Y-yeah. Of course." I stuttered, watching as she left me to my thoughts. Was it the right decision to come back to all of this? All this stress and everyday bullshit? I guess I'll never know, probably be six feet under before I can even properly weigh my choices.

I heard the ear piece I had go off, as I answered it. "This is Agent Parker, reporting for duty." I heard a familiar rough and stern voice come from the other side. "Knock off the formal shit kid it's Gabriel." I laughed a bit. "Well I'm glad to hear your piece of shit voice...sir." Gabriel chuckled, before speaking. "Kid, I'm not gonna sugar coat this. Your team is going to be in some deep shit. I can't promise you that you'll make it out alive. All I can say is we're right behind you, and that we're glad to have you with us."

Smiling, I began to walk back to the aircraft, as other carriers began to lift off and head to our destination. "I won't fuck it up, I promise."

"I know you won't. Just stay safe."

"I will. See you on the other side."

Later...

The streets were completely abandoned, leaving nothing behind but eerie buildings, completely empty, as trash and garbage littered the streets, rustling in the wind. The once bright and happy colors of the lights and signs of the city now displayed dark and dreary colors, with sparks flying from the signs. Every footstep seemed to echo, even with the shooting going on.

Supposedly some other strike teams were already in combat, facing waves and waves of Talon agents. I couldn't tell if we were lucky to have not run in to any trouble thus far. Perhaps Talon forces were occupied with the other strike teams, and had to defend themselves from the oncoming attacks. Or, the much scarier situation, Talon was drawing us into a trap, bringing us deeper and deeper in the abandoned streets just to surround us.

I kept my finger on the trigger, leading the three others through the roads, eyes peeled, checking every direction. I didn't trust this place. Not for one second. Reminded me of my time in Deadlock, always checking every corner, ready to draw my weapon in a moments notice.

We had passed dozens of bodies, all of them civilians. All of them innocent, caught in the crossfire. And for what? Talon's twisted idea of making humanity stronger by creating conflict? By killing thousands of people just to get what they view as justice? All of this made my blood boil, becoming angrier and angrier. I was ready for a fight, and pretty soon, I'm sure I'll get one.

We arrived in an open space, with little cover, and multiple vantage points up above. Everything about this yelled ambush. "Ready weapons. We've got company." I ordered, as I heard the click of the hammer on McCree's revolver secure a loaded bullet. "Come an' get it."

After what felt like years of silence and anticipation, I noticed a red laser aim for Angela's chest. I quickly snatched her out of the way, a bullet flying by. "Quick get to cover!" I shouted, as Jesse and Genji dashed to the right, leaving Angela and I to roll to the left, pinned behind a pillar displaying a local musical a few blocks down. I almost laughed at it. Almost.

Multiple people began to fire on us from above, taking full advantage of the high ground, keeping us at bay. I growled, peeking out, trying to get a good look at them. Two up top, hiding behind a railing. Another two firing wildly. Rookie mistake. Two singular shots were fired from my barrel, each hitting their target. My first two kills of the day. I'd be lying if I said I won't enjoy killing these scumbags. "Nice shot." Genji said, and I grimaced, dodging a bullet. "I can't hit those two. Jesse, can you get a good look?!" I shouted over the gunfire, and he chuckled to himself.

Rolling from cover while Genji distracted them, he fanned the hammer, the bullets finding their way into his opponents.

We exited cover, as I smiled. "Good work. Let's get moving."

Before we could continue, I heard the loud grumble of an engine in a car behind us, as a mounted gun on the car began to fire on us. "Oh shit!" I yelled, tackling the other three behind a wall, feeling the cement give way to the seemingly endless amount of fire. "Fuck me." I muttered, as it began to drive near us. I turned to the others, who were just as scared as I was. I sighed, grabbing a grenade from my belt, and pulling the pin. This was gonna have to be a lucky ass throw.

I let it go, flinging it in the direction of the oncoming vehicle. I heard a small dink as the grenade hit the car, sticking to it. Multiple beeps later, and the vehicle turned into nothing but a charred mess. Whoever was unlucky enough to be in there wasn't gonna be walking away from it. I turned to the others, as Angela raised an eyebrow. "What?" I asked, and she shrugged. I rolled my eyes, beginning to walk forward.

"Looks like we've got a survivor." Jesse muttered, and I turned, as he pointed at a Talon agent helplessly crawling away from the wreckage, dragging his bloody legs behind him. They were broken, completely mangled, leaving nothing but a trail of red as he continued forward. I withdrew my gun, as Angela ran over to the man, beginning to use her staff on him.

When I arrived there, as the man let out pained whimpers, I relieved him of his suffering, firing four shots into his chest. Merciless, and cruel I'll admit, but it needed to be done. Angela looked up at me, scowling. "What do you think you're doing?! He needed medical attention not an execution!" She stood up, as I grinned. "Really?! I'm the bad guy here?! The one who just saved your life?! Last time I checked he was shooting a fucking machine gun at us! Not offering hugs and kisses!" I replied.

"We're better than that!" She argued. I laughed. "Of course we are. You know Doc, I'm getting tired of this pacifist shit! You're here because of violence. I kept you alive with violence. If you're going to speak out against violence, don't rely on me keeping you safe with the very thing you hate, Dr. Ziegler. This is a war zone, not a fucking hospital. Maybe it's time you fucking realized that."

Angela furrowed her brows, staring me down. "What happened to you..." she trailed off, and I frowned. "Life. Life fucking happened. Now move out. You can stay with your friend if you want." I said, motioning to what remained of the Talon agent. I shoved past Jesse, as he stared at me. I could feel their eyes on me, burning through the back of my skull. I clenched my fists in anger, feeling the urge to punch someone.

"Nathan. Nathan do you copy?" I could hear Gabriel's voice through the comms device, and I sighed. "Yes. We're on our way. Ran in to a bit of trouble but we're alright." I answered, and Gabriel paused, before speaking again. "Alright. We're ahead of your position, and based on our scouting reports you'll be running into some heavy resistance. Possibly even Akande himself. Ready up, and we'll be waiting on you to lead the assault. Good luck."

I turned off the comms, turning to my team. Jesse loaded his gun, as Angela stood beside me. "This is it you guys. Talon's forces are a few blocks to the east. Ready your weapons. This is gonna get ugly." I said, and Genji nodded. "I am ready. I will strike where they do not expect."

Walking over to Angela, I placed a hand on her shoulder. "You with me?" I asked, and she hesitated, taking a long look at me. "Yes." She answered, and I smiled. "Good. We need you, Doc. Stay close."

As we moved out, I could feel the tensions rising. I did the only thing I could think of. Talk.

"So. Anyone got any last confessions to make before we run straight into certain death?" I asked, and for a moment, there was silence. "One time I used your toothbrush Nate. Thought I'd get it off my conscience." Jesse muttered, and I nodded. "I forgive you. One time when I ran out of toilet paper I used your shirt." I responded, and Jesse made a gagging noise.

"Is this really necessary?" Angela spoke up, and I smiled. "What? No final last things to say? No one you want to confess your love to?" The joke was met with a huff of disapproval, and I laughed.

"This is not our last moment together. We will succeed." Genji encouraged us, as I sighed. "Here's hoping."

It was dead silent for what seemed like an eternity. Nothing moved, as we reached our destination. This was where most of Talon was suspected to be. The problem was, they were nowhere to be found. I didn't let my guard down, taking cautious steps forward, looking for good spots for cover.

My search was interrupted by a bullet whizzing by my head, as I ducked behind cover. That was quite the way to snap me back to reality. They were behind us, as hundreds of them began to pour out, moving quickly, surrounding us. We were trapped up against a large skyscraper, preventing us from retreating. "Jesse, you cover our north side! Genji, you cover our west, I got the east!" I ordered, as we all set up, as they surrounded us.

We began firing, and I don't remember ever stopping. I kept popping up out of cover and firing, then reloading, and repeating the cycle over and over again. They just seemed to keep coming, as they replaced one another as they fell. I slipped out of cover, firing, each shot hitting its mark. I could only hope the others were doing better. It didn't take a genius to see we were being overrun, and that we'd soon die to the hordes around us. "Gabriel! We're pinned down, taking heavy fire! Where the fuck are you?!" I yelled, as I could hear gunfire from the comms device as well. "We're a bit busy. Jack and I are working on it. Just hold on!" He ordered.

"Motherfucker!" I cursed, feeling a bullet graze my arm, as the blood began to flow. We were slowly being pushed back, as I fired wildly to recover my retreat back to more cover.

Soon enough we were back to back, facing off against all of them, ready to die. The thoughts flashed through my mind as I began to run out of ammunition. This is it. This is how we die. With our backs up against the wall, fighting to our last breath. Just like Reinhardt used to say. For honor and glory. Although I didn't see much honor or glory in being slaughtered, I could surprisingly find peace in the fact it was over. All of my struggles coming to an end.

Genji took a shot to the chest, as he stumbled. I caught him, as Jesse covered us as I helped Angela drag him to cover. He was bleeding, the blood pouring over the white metal chest plates he had. "There's too many! We're not gonna make it!" Jesse screamed, and I could hear the fear in his voice. The same fear I felt in my chest, as they closed in on us.

Then multiple explosions erupted around us, as Overwatch planes dropped explosives on them. "Thought you could use the back up while we sort out everything over here." Ana said through the comms. "Thank you Captain." I smiled, and I heard her chuckle. "Of course. Just hold out. We're almost there."

Sighing, I laughed. "Thought we were goners for sure." I muttered, as Jesse shook his head. "Too close."

"Alright, let's head out, get to helping the others. I think we should repay them for that." I smiled, and Genji nodded, recovering from his wounds. "We must stay vigilant. Akande is still here." Angela warned, and I nodded. "Yeah. Let's get going before more arrive." I ordered, as we began to enter one of the skyscrapers in order to reach the others. They'd be using the high ground to take out Akande, so we went up, seeing as they weren't too far.

As I began to enter the building, I heard Genji scream. "Behind you!" I turned, barely rolling in time to dodge the car being thrown at me. It crashed into the entrance to the building, blocking me from the others. "Shit, Nathan!" Jesse yelled. I ignored it, gulping.

There he was. A mountain of a man, towering nearly a foot taller than me, as his golden gauntlet glimmered in the sun. Akande. Doomfist. His dark eyes met mine, as he took menacing and intimidating steps towards me. "So this is who they send? A cowboy?" He taunted me, as he got closer, I could tell he was heavily augmented, his skin not natural. Only added more intimidation.

"Nathan!" I heard Angela call out from the comms device. "Get to the others! I'll hold him off!" I replied. 'I doubt this will go well...' I thought, withdrawing my revolvers, firing at him. The first two bounced off of his gauntlet, as he began to rush me. My eyes widened, rolling out of the way. He flew past me, his gauntlet striking the cement behind me, leaving a crater. 'That's gonna be my head isn't it?'

I fired once more, aiming for his shin, as he stumbled a bit, growling. "You're a coward! Face me like a man!" He yelled, slamming his fist into the ground, sending a shockwave towards me, cracking the ground. 'Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.'

"I sense your fear. Fight me, and die with honor."

"I'd rather not." I said, avoiding another punch, side stepping him, and shooting the back of his knee. He snapped my way before I could react, his metal fist catching me in his grasp. I struggled, feeling his grip tighten, shouting in pain as I felt my arms begin to crack under the pressure. He leaned in, like he was smelling me. His left hand grabbed my hat, plucking it off of my head. He crushed it in his hand, throwing it to the ground. I growled, trying to kick out of the hold, before his left hand hit me, sending me back into the wall behind us.

Slumping down, I felt my head begin to pound, as my ears began to ring. "Argh...fuck." I muttered, trying to stand up. My jaw was sore, and I could feel the blood begin to rush out of my mouth. "Nathan what the hell are you doing?!" I heard Gabriel yell, as I spit, the red staining the roads. "Dying. How about you?" I joked, as Doomfist towered over me, his shadow blocking the sun from view. "We're coming! Just hold on soldier!" I heard Jack order, and I coughed, as he grabbed me, lifting me up with ease.

He flung me the other way, as I collided with a street sign, snapping it in half, before hitting the building behind it. I felt my ribs crack, as it became hard to breath. I looked down at what remained of my leg, as the bone popped out of the skin, blood gushing out.

He began to move towards me, as I reached out to my revolver on the ground. I grunted, picking it up, and firing it quickly, as the two remaining bullets struck his face, grazing him. He stood only a foot away, stumbling back from the blow. I seized the opportunity, unsteadily drawing my knife, and slamming it into his left calf, as he howled in pain, as I twisted it.

Smacking my hand away, he pulled out the knife, as the blood trickled down his leg. He gripped the knife tightly, staring at me. The two bullets left scars on his right cheek. "Not bad. Not good either." Akande said, before slamming it into my chest, as I yelled out in pain. It shot through my body, as I felt it pierce my lungs. I gasped for air, as my vision became blurry.

Everything was beginning to fade, before a blue flash appeared, calling my name. I lacked the strength to respond. "Nathan! We've got reinforcements!" Ana called out. Lena zipped out, shooting at Akande, as he tried to study her pattern as she danced around him. And in a flash, he grabbed her as she jumped in the air, and snapped her chronal accelerator.

The determined look on her face snapped to shock and terror, as she stared at me. I reached out, trying to grip her hand, before my hand went through her. I looked on in fear and pain as she tried to yell my name, but I couldn't hear anything. She began to fade, blinking in and out. My breathing quickened, as I watched my friend suffer. Lena...

I looked up at Akande, who was pulling out a familiar dart that had struck his neck. The same kind of needle that punctured my neck when I first ran into Overwatch. "Captain Amari..." I gurgled, unable to speak properly, the blood pouring out, as I coughed.

Then a large gorilla jumped in, his eyes glowing red with anger, as he slammed Akande into the dirt, while Jack and the others concentrated fire on him. I recognized Winston, as he had grown three times his normal size, flinging Doomfist around like his own personal rag doll. When he shakily stood to meet Winston, he tried to charge him, before being sent flying back. It was good to see. I smiled.

Soon enough I was surrounded by everyone, as Genji gripped my hand tightly. Winston stood over Lena and I, a worried look in his eyes. Jesse grabbed my hat, holding my other hand as well. Angela was busy trying to stop the bleeding, pushing down on my chest, trying to keep me breathing. Ana rushed over to me, as Gabriel looked away. Jack just stared, trying to assist Angela in any way possible.

I looked at her. Angela. The woman I sacrificed so much for. She was everything to me, and I loved her, as much as I hated to admit it. I couldn't speak, only able to watch as she tried to save me. Me. After everything I'd done. After everything I'd said. She was truly an angel.

They all stood over me, their worried eyes meeting mine. This dysfunctional family of mine. I would've laughed if I could, instead coughing violently. I gave them a grin, as my vision blurred, unable to hear anything they said to try and keep me awake. Angela's hand cupped my cheek, as everything faded, leaving me in darkness.


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm just gonna put a disclaimer right here, the next few chapters are going to be pretty sad and depressing. I know I try to avoid chapters like that but I feel like I sort of have to for the character arc I'm going for with Nathan. He is going to encounter some feelings he hasn't before, and learn the importance of getting back up when life knocks you down. I can't wait for you guys to read this. As if life couldn't fuck the man over anymore huh?**

Chapter 17: I'm Still Here

The stabbing pain flowing throughout my entire body disrupted the peaceful sleep I was having. Well not entirely peaceful, where I seemed to ask myself if I was dead for a while. Even now the question was still left unanswered. I strived to open my eyes, unable to, almost like they were sealed shut. I tried again, feeling nothing but pain as I failed miserably. Trying to open my mouth to scream, I seemed to lack the energy to do so. That was a first. The first time I've been unable to speak, or find some witty remark.

Then I tried movement, finally gaining an answer. I was alive, the ability to move my fingers proving it. I couldn't quite tell if that was a good thing yet. Moving my hand up to meet my face, I could feel bandages covering a good portion of it. Not a good sign. I grunted, feeling something rip from my arm, liquid spewing onto whatever surface I was on. I couldn't tell what it was, but from the sting I felt in my arm I assumed it was blood.

Struggling against every muscle in my body urging me to stop my efforts to free myself from the restraints, I ignored them, hearing incessant beeping from some monitor beside me. It only irritated me more, as I ripped a part of the bandage off, feeling it take some of my still healing skin with it. The exposure to the cold air began to hurt, as I winced. "Fuck..." I growled, my vocal cords straining as I resisted the urge to scream.

I kept picking at the bandages with weak fingers, before light finally hit my eyes as I successfully freed myself from the darkness. And back to hell I went, recognizing the sterile white room anywhere, with its obnoxious color coding, seemingly blinding any patient, me included. My eyes flicked to every side of the room, the beeping still persisting, agitation setting in.

Ripping my arm from another restraint, I tore at the bandages, finally escaping it's grasp. I groaned, feeling sharp pains shoot through my body, my ribs hurting the worst. No I take it back, screaming in agony as a pain shot through my head like a bullet, along with my jaw feeling like it was barely hanging on to my skull.

So, I guess it was a good a time as any to recap what the hell happened. First, Karen came back, bringing hell along with her, as Jane and Ian destroyed the relationship between Angela and I. I get into a fight with Jesse, resulting in a damaged friendship. I almost have sex with Jane, but refuse. Fareeha moves into her own apartment, bothering me more than it should. After damn near leaving Overwatch, I reunited with the others for a short time, before realizing how bad I had fucked things up between us. Angela hates me, and wants to keep our conversations "strictly professional". I snap, yelling at her, making her hate me more. Nearly die to a couple hundred Talon agents, before giving the award to Akande Ogundimu for ruining my day, beating me to a bloody pulp. Lena attempts to save me, before her chronal accelerator is broken. Winston nearly kills Akande, before everyone rushes to my side.

All in all, not the worst damn week I've had.

Winston saved me. Not something I expected, since he scarcely knew me, and I doubt he enjoyed my presence either. Though he did save me, defeating Doomfist. He was probably having the time of his life with all the recognition that comes with that. Or not, he always was a little awkward. Reality hit me, as I remembered Lena. Lena! Oh shit. Her accelerator. I may not be a scientist, but I get the gist of it. She needs that shit to stay anchored in the present, and if she isn't in a close proximity of it, she'll disappear again. I tried to stand, kicking out of my blankets, looking down at my tattered body for a moment. Even under the gown you could see how fucked up I was. My chest and ribs were barely holding together, with some serious internal bleeding on my left abdomen. My right leg was mangled to hell, and my left wrist was probably broken from the extreme pain coming from it. Not to mention my face was probably smashed in.

Apparently that was enough to alert the last person I wanted to see today, Angela Ziegler, who rushed to my side. "Nathan, quit! You aren't ready to leave your bed!" She advised, struggling to push me back into bed. But if anyone knew me well they knew I was stubborn. I pushed against her, trying to keep moving. "Get off me! I have to see Lena!" I rebelled against the idea of more rest, but Angela continued, pushing me back down. "I understand your concern but you must rest! Please, your body is barely functioning, and you're lucky to be alive."

I laughed, as she raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "Funny. 'Lucky'." I giggled, the action alone hurting. She frowned. "Where is Lena..." I muttered, and she sighed. "She is still recovering from her encounter with Akande. Though according to my reports she is doing much better, and taking visitors, which may include you, if you rest." Angela answered, and I exhaled, leaning back into my bed. Good. I couldn't bare the thought of her in pain because of me.

"When can I get the fuck out of here? Not to be rude but I don't really want to be trapped in here with you..." I groaned, coughing weakly. Angela ignored the rude comment, brushing her hair to the side. "You are not ready to leave. Though you may be able to eat, despite the injuries to your jaw." She seemed to talk to herself for a moment, before turning back to me. "I'm sorry about what happened." She offered her condolences. I chuckled. "What is it that bad?"

Pausing, Angela fetched a mirror for me, offering me a chance to look at myself. She had a reason to be reluctant to show me how I looked. My left cheek was still horribly bruised, with a large gash running over the bridge of my nose. My right eye was still slightly swollen, and my jaw was bruised along the edge of it. A cut ran from the beginning of my jaw to my lip. Despite me trying to not freak out a little, I ran a shaky hand along my face, feeling the stitches and cuts, feeling like leather. "Most of your wounds will heal, though the scars on your abdomen and legs may be permanent. I expect your face to look much better within two days."

"Let me out." I said. Angela frowned. "Nathan you can't walk. Your leg is-"

"I didn't ask for your recommendation doctor! Do as I said!" I snapped, and she looked hurt by the words, as I growled. "Nevermind, I'll stand on my own. Don't fucking need you anyway. Besides, we should keep it strictly professional." I added, the words filled with every bit of venom I could muster. Angela opened her mouth to retort, before shutting it again. "I'll grab your clothes, along with a cast for your leg, and a sling for your wrist. Just please...don't hurt yourself. You have people here who care about you. People who'd like to see you walk away from this unscathed." Angela replied, and I frowned. "I'm sure I'd like to meet those people."

Angela sighed, walking over to me. "Nathan, you don't have to be like this." She shook her head, as I clenched and unclenched my hands. "I do. I'm strictly professional, like you said. Don't want to interfere with anything important."

She turned away, as if she couldn't stand the sight of me anymore. Understandable since my face looked more like leather than actual skin. I sighed, reclining back into my bed, trying to focus on something other than the pain. Using the remote beside me, I flipped the holovid to a news broadcast, which was speaking about the successful strike on Numbani, which led to the arrest of Akande Ogundimu, freeing the citizens of his tyrannical rule. People were returning to their homes, and relief efforts were helping fix the damages.

Footage taken by a drone recorded Winston's run in with Akande, which resulted in the terrorist's defeat. I smiled at it, watching as he was thrown around like Winston's personal chew toy. Pausing it, I zoomed in, squinting in order to see myself, as I lay on the street, bleeding out. At that point I was reaching out for Lena, while Jesse was rushing towards me. I scowled, throwing the holovid to the floor. It wasn't my first time being overlooked even after everything I had done for the organization. I guess I'd never get what I deserved.

Though I doubt I want all the praise that comes with it. I never have been one for crowds and the media, trying to avoid all of that. I guess it was sort of working.

Angela arrived with more than I expected, as she rolled in a wheelchair. I scowled. "I'm not some fucking cripple." I muttered, and she scoffed. "Go ahead. Try and walk."

Doing as she said, I placed a shaky leg on the cold hard floor, straightening my back as I placed a little weight on it. It hurt, but I endured, offering Angela a cocky grin. Taking one step forward, I collapsed into the wheelchair in front of me, grunting as I pulled myself into it. "Motherfucker..." I cursed, and Angela began bandaging my wrist, before placing it in a sling that went around my neck. Then she placed a cast on my leg, firmly securing it in place, as I glared at her. "Happy now? I'm ready for you to torture me."

Rolling her eyes, she opened the door for me to exit. "I'm assuming you don't want me to push you to your destination, so I recommend not going for long distances, your wrist may begin to hurt if you use it too much to wheel yourself away. Also try and avoid stressful situations, it isn't good for your recovery, and may begin to worsen your condition. And most importantly, stay away from alcohol. Your liver took a serious beating, and it can't handle alcohol. You'll need to avoid it for at least a week."

"Oh fuck off. What else am I supposed to do?" I asked, and she shrugged. "They say knitting can help keep your mind off of drinking habits." She joked, and I glared at her. "Very funny."

"Just do as I say and you'll be fine. Alcohol will end up killing you. Your body will reject it because of the medication you are on, and I think it's for the better. Your reliance on alcoholic beverages is unhealthy, and I hope you can find other ways to get through the day." Angela spoke softly, and I frowned. "Anything else?" I was growing tired of this. "Just stay safe. Although you may not agree with me, I'm glad you're alive. I hope one day you realize you still have-"

"Yeah yeah I get it. Excuse me, I've gotta dash." I replied coldly, interrupting her. Would've been better if I could move quicker, struggling to move in the wheelchair. This fucking sucks.

Later...

Arriving at Lena's bedside, I smiled at her. She was okay, the chronal accelerator near her bed humming happily, as Lena realized I entered. "Nathan? Is that you?!" She wiped her eyes, trying to figure out if it was me. "Yeah, I know, I look horrible." I referred to the scars covering my face, and she laughed. "No worse than you usually look." The comment made me laugh, making me groan. "Oh don't make me laugh. My face is barely holding together as it is." I replied, wincing.

"Sorry luv. You alright?" She asked, and I nodded. "I'll be fine." I answered, adjusting my hat, which I just recently gained from Angela. Lena raised an eyebrow, though she didn't say anything. "Thanks." I said, and Lena frowned. "For what?"

"Saving my life." I replied, and she scoffed. "I didn't really save anything. Just distracted him. You on the other hand here, survived the encounter with Doomfist himself. You live to tell the tale, much more than most can say." Lena responded, and I smiled. "If surviving counts as getting my head beat in then yeah, sure."

Lena smacked my arm, causing me to wince more than usual due to my injuries. "You put up a good fight. From what I saw, you got a few good hits in." Lena reminded me, as I rolled my eyes. "Barely. Admit it, I was the man's personal rag doll, as he threw me from side to side." I coughed, a hand subconsciously shooting to grab my rib, clutching it in pain. Lena ignored it, even though she obviously noticed. I silently thanked her for that. "Whatever you say Eastwood."

I grinned, adjusting my seat, trying to make myself as comfortable as possible. It hurt, I'll admit it. Even with all the drugs I'm on to numb me, I still couldn't bare the pain, trying my best to keep a straight face. Hard to do when even moving or stirring in your seat makes you want to scream. I was beginning to wonder if being alive was a good thing.

"It's good to see you alive, Nate. After everything with Jane, I thought it was goodbye." Lena spoke softly, and I nodded grimly, reminded of my wife. She probably thought I was dead, or at least hoped I was. Couldn't blame her for it either. "Don't tell anyone, but I missed you guys pretty quickly." I joked, though trying to laugh afterwards hurt. She frowned. "Seriously, you had everything back home. A wife, kid, a nice house. Why'd you come back?"

The question bothered me, stirring inside me for a while. I couldn't really find an answer to the inquiry. The best I could come up with was that it just felt wrong to leave like that. To leave everything behind and try and forget everyone I've met here. None of it felt right.

"I don't know." I admitted, shaking my head. "I really don't. I mean, of course I would miss everyone here, but I still had family back home. I was a few steps away from my plane, but I took off running the other way. Something felt wrong." I answered, as Lena sat there, trying to completely process the answer.

Before she could conjure up a response, the door opened, revealing Captain Amari in her normal attire, although lacking the cap, her dark hair running down to her shoulders. She smiled brightly at me, and I returned the same, almost forgetting I was residing in a wheelchair because of injuries, attempting to stand. It didn't go well, as I flopped back down with a grunt and audible pops.

"Angela told me you were awake, but I didn't believe it. After everything that terrorist had done to you...we thought you had died." Ana muttered. 'Yeah so this organization could bury me like everyone else. To be forgotten.' I bit my tongue, ignoring the thought, smiling at Ana. "It'll take more than that to kill Nathan Parker." I joked, as Lena scoffed in her bed, offering me a look.

"Of course it will," Ana grinned, before sitting down in a chair opposite of me. "You did well during that mission, you included, Lena." She nodded at us, and Lena offered a weak salute. "Thank you Captain Amari."

Turning back to me, Ana smiled. "I'm sure Fareeha will be glad to hear you're both alright. She's been busy, but promises to see you both soon." I grinned, thinking of Fareeha. Even though it hadn't been long, I missed her sorely. She was almost like a daughter to me of sorts, despite me only being a few years older than her. She was always good for a smile, and a pep talk at times.

"Good to hear." I nodded, as Ana continued, motioning towards both Lena and I. "The public of course will be glad to hear you'll both live." I frowned, confused. "I think you mean Lena. No one really cares about some Blackwatch grunt." I said, and Ana furrowed her brow slightly, the wrinkles on her forehead showing. "Nonsense. Nearly the whole world knows what you did. Fighting Doomfist face to face, and surviving. That is no small feat."

My mind flashed to the news I watched earlier, all focused on Winston for beating Akande, not me. Lena raised an eyebrow. "Have you not seen the news lately? Luv they're all praising you and Winston for defending Numbani against Doomfist! You're practically a legend for surviving what you did!" Lena exclaimed excitedly, though I lacked the same enthusiasm. Ana nodded in agreement. "The whole world wants to hear from you, and we even have an event planned in Numbani, with you and Winston as the center of attention."

I growled, getting the exact opposite of what I wanted. Why the fuck did everything have to come bite me in the ass? Now everyone is going to be on my back about "my bravery in the face of death". Oh fuck off. I just want to be left in peace, and drink the entire experience away. I doubt they'll let me do that. "Call it off. I'm not attending another bullshit event."

Lena frowned, completely dumbfounded by my response. "What?! This is great news!" She said, and I shook my head. "I'm not some fancy guy to be dressed up. I'm not some lap dog. I'm a Blackwatch grunt, not some fucking royal prince!" I argued, as Ana sighed. "No one is asking you to be some prince. Just make nice for the cameras for at least one night."

"That's not who I am!" I protested, as Ana clenched her fist, standing from her seat, towering over me. "You're not some drunken low-life either, despite how much you seem to insist on ending up that way!"

"Oh fuck off! I'm not being some dress up doll!"

The door opened in the heat of the argument, as Ana stood tall, not backing down from me. Angela entered, scowling at both of us, as Lena sat there completely shocked. "Angela, talk some sense into Nathan! He refuses to be a part of the event, his massive ego preventing him from doing one thing for someone else other than himself!"

"I've spent my entire life doing things for everyone else! I've killed for people! I've committed crimes for people! I've operated drug and weapons trafficking for people! I've buried myself in work for other people! I've taken care of a child for people! All of those people giving two shits about how I felt and what I thought!" I snapped, glaring at everyone, not concerned with the pain rushing through me, or my now sore throat from the yelling.

"I've spent my entire life taking orders. I'm fucking done with it."

For a while there was silence, as I growled, annoyed at everyone. "You should be thankful for still being alive. Not wasting the second chance you've been given." Ana finished, storming out of the room, leaving me with the others, who looked at me like I had three heads. "Nathan are you alright?" Lena asked after it all settled down, and I sighed. "Sure. Thanks for talking with me." I grinned, and she nodded. Turning to Angela, I began speaking.

"Would you help me down to somewhere I need to be? Just want to say some things." I explained to Angela, and she nodded, leaving Lena to herself in her room.

The trip there was silent, as I focused on what I said. It felt good to say it. I was tired of doing everything for everyone else other than myself. I was tired of being so selfless, doing so much for no reward. No more.

When we arrived where I said, I told her to stop, taking in the cool breeze that flew through my hair. The sun was setting, as I grinned happily. Back where I belonged. My old stomping grounds, where I could think. Where Angela and I always chat. Sighing, I turned back to a confused Angela. "Help me stand."

"But-" She tried to refuse, but I quickly interrupted her. "Help. Me. Stand." She sighed, giving in, helping me up. Standing up was difficult, struggling to hold myself upright. Angela placed her hands on my back, supporting me, as I reached out for the railing, gripping it tightly, as I leaned against it, unable to stand by myself yet. I groaned as I pushed upwards, in order to rest on the heels of my feet, the hard cast helping my leg stay immobile under me.

Thinking for a moment, I thought on everything they told me to do. To be thankful for being alive. To be proud of what I've done, and use my second chance wisely. My brows furrowed, as I planned to do the opposite of what they said. I didn't have any stirring speeches, or wisdom to spread. Just a few choice words for the fucker above me, who cursed me. Angela stood a few feet from me, ready to catch me if I fell.

"Is that all you've got?! Is that it?!" I shouted, as Angela jumped back slightly, probably expecting me to be grateful.

"I'm still here, you fucker! NATHAN PARKER!" I yelled my name into the heavens above, hoping if there was a god, he could hear every word I said.

"I'm alive!" I called out, holding my hands out to the side, nodding my head.

"YOU SEE ME?! YOU SEE ME STANDING HERE?!" I chuckled softly, a weak smile gracing my lips. Angela smiled softly at the sight of it. I ignored it though, focusing on this.

"YOU LOST ASSHOLE! I'M ALIVE, MOTHERFUCKER!" I taunted, holding my hands out, expecting more. He better hit me with all he had.

"ME! NATHAN PARKER!" I bellowed, my words echoing through the air as I let everything out.

"Alive!" The anger subsided, as a smile met my lips, replacing my frown. I taunted him. I mocked him, despite everyone telling me to be thankful for surviving that near death experience. I beat the motherfucker. He cursed me to live this life, and he lost. Everyone was betting on my death. But here I stood. Here I stood. Me. Nathan Fucking Parker. Turning to Angela, she took a few steps towards me, smiling. I was almost glad she was there to witness it. I let out a satisfied exhale, ready to face whatever life had to throw at me. It'll take more than that.

"Alive."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Whiskey Lullabies

 _This had been going on for hours, the hands all reaching out for me from outside the ring, the men trying to grab me, money waving in their hands as they placed bets on me. Betting on me like some animal._

 _I shook my head, the ringing in my ears from the last strike fading. The loud shouting in the room filled my ears once more, and I winced, my hand subconsciously reaching for my ribs. Taking a quick glance, I could see the large bruise there, along with a gash on my torso. My body was tattered, stripped of my shirt for the fight, blood running down my features._

 _Every muscle in my body screamed for me to collapse to the ground, my shaking legs barely holding the rest of me up, as I felt dizzy. The multiple men I was facing in the ring, who were much larger and older, cracked their knuckles for more. I was unable to do the same, because if I did I'd probably cause them to bleed even more. My dark hair was matted down to my face, the bangs blocking some of my vision. The only light in the room was the one dangling over the arena, which was covered in blood. Most of it mine._

 _Moving forward, the three men began to surround me, as I prepared myself for another beating, holding my arms up to defend myself as best I could. They towered over me, as others behind me outside of the ring chanted my name, offering me little support, but it was better than nothing._

 _This is the only way. I have to keep going. If I'm going to survive, I need to get into Deadlock. It's my only chance. If I fall today, they won't accept me, and I'll be thrown out into the streets to fend for myself, or die trying. I wiped blood away from my nose that had trickled down to my mouth, feeling it run along my hand. Standing as tall as I could, I readied myself._

 _Dodging the first strike sent my way, I ducked under the man, kicking him in the back of the knee, as he collapsed to the ground. The second man hit me in the chest, knocking the wind out of me. He raised his hand for another punch, but I hit first, a swift kick to the groin causing him to drop to his knees. I then punched him in the head, hurting my hand just as much as it hurt his head. My name was chanted even louder now, the crowd seeming to enjoy this._

 _The last man charged me, tackling me to the ground before I could react. He slammed his hands into my chest, pounding me relentlessly. I felt the blood come up out of my throat, as I tried to kick him, but the first man I hit held me down, disabling me, as I lied there helplessly, waiting for the coming punches._

 _And they were hard. Each hit send my head back into the hard and broken down mat, my vision blurring from it. Another one hit my eye, blackening it, as I couldn't see out of it anymore, swelling shut. Grunting, the men began throwing money down on the mat, betting this was where I failed. No child had ever been able to last more than ten rounds. This was my tenth._

 _After what felt like an eternity of the men kicking and punching me, breaking my body even further, they stood, one of the men counting out in front of me. "One!" He yelled, holding a finger up. 'Stand up my son.' I heard my father's voice, as I rolled over on to my chest, struggling to lift myself up. "Two!" 'Stand up my son.' He said again, as I pushed up, trying to stand. I fell back to the floor, defeated._

 _'When you get knocked down, you get back up again. No one can hold you down, Logan.' I remembered those words. He was teaching me how to shoot a rifle. The recoil kept knocking me back to the ground. I was about to give up, before he told me that. "Three!" I tried to stand again, having more success, placing a knee up, shakily leaning on it. I yelled in pain, as I wanted to lie back down. 'The only thing that can stop you, is yourself.'_

 _"Four!" I found the motivation to reach out for the ropes, leaning on them for support as I began to stand back up. The men were yelling, all of them betting on me to fall back down. 'Walk tall my son.' I stumbled back down, stopping my descent with my hand, catching myself. "Five!" The man shouted, halfway through his counting. I growled, trying to scrounge up whatever strength and courage I had left, and stand back up._

 _Pushing myself once more, I stood on two shaky legs, as men both cheered and yelled in annoyance at my stubborn actions, as the man counting stopped, reaching a hesitant hand out to me. I lacked the strength to stop him, as he raised my hand into the air, laughing in approval, the men who once shunned and mocked me applauding, smiles on their faces._

 _For the first time today I felt something good. I felt like this was where I belonged. That I had a place in here, whether they liked it or not. A grin met my lips, as I could conceal it no longer. I wasn't concerned with the blood on my face or the bruises covering my body. I was just smiling._

 _The man who held my hand up clapped me on the back, smiling, his mustache curling up the same way his lips did._

 _"Welcome to Deadlock."_

I groaned, feeling the pain in my jaw come back. I downed another drink in hopes of drowning the pain in alcohol, and so far it was working. It was stopping the physical pain I felt at least. Hopefully it could do the same for what I felt inside.

Staring at the bottom of the glass, I could see my reflection in it. My eyes were weary, with the gash on my nose beginning to clear up, a much lighter scar taking it's place. The long cut running from my lip to my jaw had faded, along with the bruising to my cheek. I looked much better, although that wasn't saying much. Anywhere else I ended up besides here they would've put me in a coffin. But here I was, as unlucky or lucky that may be.

Pouring another glass, my shaky hand stumbled as I placed the bottle back down. It was one of my first times drinking here alone, with nothing but the sound of my foot tapping against the chair offering me solace. I clicked my tongue, placing the glass to my lips, forcing myself to continue drinking. It was the only thing I could really even do now anyways.

Ever since Numbani I've been unable to go to the firing range, my arm still recovering. My legs were still weak from everything, and although I could walk, I wouldn't be doing any training in at least another week. Angela told me to get plenty of rest, the complete opposite of what I've been doing. Though it wasn't all my fault. The pain would keep me awake most nights. Sometimes the physical pain, sometimes the emotional pain. Either one doing it's job in keeping me awake and aware of the shitty situation I've gotten myself into.

Despite me doing everything I could to refuse going to the event, I was being forced, the thing being held in two days. Winston was just as uncomfortable with it as I was, so at least I wasn't alone. I spoke with him about it, thanking him for saving my life, and for saving Lena's. I never expected him to have shown kindness to me, but he did, trying to relate to my situation. I appreciated it, although I doubted he could really understand it. I doubt anyone can really understand it.

Sipping the whiskey once more, I felt it burn my throat, as I winced softly, grabbing my head. Even with all the medication I still felt the pain like it was yesterday. I could hear footsteps outside the bar, as I looked out the windows, spotting a certain doctor, her hands in her pockets. Angela's eyes met mine, before she quickly looked away, trying to walk faster. "Hey wait up!" I slurred, standing from my seat, stumbling into another chair, before leaning against the wall, looking at Angela.

She looked as busy as ever, her eyes showing sleep deprivation. I offered a weak smile, despite all the feelings I had buried deep inside. Nothing between us has been the same ever since Jane, admittedly. And I hated it.

"Care for a drink?" I asked, and she didn't respond, instead turning to walk away. I growled, the grip on my glass of whiskey tightening. "Angela! You ever gonna fucking talk?!" I yelled, once again gaining no response from the woman, being met with silence. God I fucking hated silence nowadays. And it seemed to be everywhere. My life was fucked. Everything was fucked. And here I was, drinking it all away.

Jesse has been silent with me as well, offering little conversation, instead excusing himself from me. Gabriel has been too busy with everything, scolding me for alcoholism. Ana did the same thing, seemingly disappointed in every decision I make. Lena hasn't talked with me in a while, and hasn't looked at me the same. Angela hates me, and each check up she gets more and more angry with me. Each time I'd come in tipsy, unable to perform most basic functions. She debated having my whiskey taken away, but I convinced her I'd handle it, and lay off the drinks. I've yet to hold my end of the bargain.

But why should I? They all hate me. After everything I've done for this organization, I'm still treated like dirt. I left everything behind. I left my wife, I left Ian, I left my family. And this was the thanks I got. Being told my opinion means nothing, being forced into an event I want no part of, losing my friends, becoming an alcoholic, and losing the will to go on. Maybe I made the wrong choice coming back here. Maybe it wasn't too late.

Beginning to move back to my seat, attempting to slump into it, I instead plummeted to the ground as I reached out for something to halt my descent. Bringing a chair back down with me, it crashed over my head, my vision becoming fuzzy, as the chair didn't help my already raging headache. Groaning, I gripped the corner of a table, struggling to pull myself back up, collapsing to the ground. ' _Stand up my son.'_ I heard my father speak, as I growled, forcing my body upwards, standing up.

 _Every muscle in my body screamed for me to collapse to the ground, my shaky legs barely holding the rest of me up, as I felt dizzy._ The situation felt familiar, as I sat back in my chair. A sharp pain shot through my abdomen, _and I winced, my hand subconsciously reaching for my ribs._ "Fuck me." I muttered, taking a sip of whiskey to drown the pain out.

Turning around, I could hear familiar footsteps, the boots of Jesse outside, as he opened the door, sighing as he noticed this was where I was. "Hey Jesse. Wanna have a drink?" I asked, and he ignored the offer, walking swiftly to my side, pulling up a chair and sitting opposite of me. "What are you still doing here? When ya started drinking I was hopin' you were just blowing off some steam." Jesse muttered, and I growled, annoyance rushing through me. "I'm serious. I'm done."

Jesse scoffed, an annoyed smile meeting his lips. "Grow a pair." He said, and I raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" I asked, and Jesse frowned. "You heard me. Tough it out."

"This isn't up to me. They're making me do all this shit by force. My opinion doesn't matter to them. I'm just some pawn. That's not who I am. I can't do this." I replied, and he shook his head. "You're resourceful you'll figure it out." He encouraged, as I clicked my tongue, sighing. "Jesse this is the first good day I've had since Jane arrived." I said, and he tapped his finger on the edge of his chair, biting his lip.

"Nate do you wanna end up like me? Clawin' for every chance ya have at some recognition. Trust me, it fucking sucks. What you're goin' through, most guys around here dream about. Think I ain't want some recognition for everythin'?" He drawled, and I smirked. "You're resourceful, you'll figure it out." I mocked, and Jesse shook his head.

"Fame is a racket huh? Ain't nobody better at beating the system than you. Why don't ya get your ass up and out of this bar, spit in their faces for not givin' a shit about you, and have a fucking future?" Jesse growled, and I sighed, raising my glass. "Jesse I am just tryin' to drink my beer, and enjoy being back home." I smiled, and he scowled.

"This ain't your home, it's where you ended up. Don't mean ya gotta stay here and be some Blackwatch grunt forever." Jesse said, and I frowned, growing angry.

"What and now you know where everyone is supposed to be? I'm supposed to be some fucking messiah and change the world?" I asked, and Jesse sighed, standing up from his seat. "Yeah. Maybe."

"You know I'm getting pretty tired of being told where I'm supposed to be, and what I'm supposed to be doing!" I exclaimed, and Jesse scowled at me. "Then stop making them fucking have to! Grow the fuck up!"

I bit my tongue, grabbing my hat I placed beside me, and placing my coat on. "Ya know thanks for the pep talk. Maybe next time you'll just fuck off and let me do what I want for once." I said, stumbling out of my seat, and exiting the bar. I got kicked out of the one place I felt like I belonged.

Everyone always has to be telling me what I'm supposed to do. I'm fucking sick of it. I just want to live my life and enjoy myself. It's a rare occasion I ever have time off, and now that I have a while everyone has to fuck it up and tell me how "important" I am and what I need to do in life. Fuck that. Fuck everyone.

Moving at a brisk pace, I walked to the place I usually ended up, outside, looking at the night sky, the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks preferable over the silence of the bar. Though I didn't feel very peaceful here, my mind flashing to all the time I spent here with Angela. Anger coursing through my veins, I gripped the railing tightly, bitter over how all of this went. We used to be so close. We used to love each other. But now everything is falling apart around us, and she won't even look at me.

Reaching down into my jacket, I retrieved a small bottle of whiskey that I kept there in case of a situation like this. Looking at the small bottle, I ran a hand over it's smooth surface. My hand was shaking, as I was unable to keep it steady, unable to tell if it was agitation or how drunk I was that caused it. Probably a combination of both.

This thing had caused so much. Alcohol. Everything that has happened is because of it. My life has been destroyed by it time and time again. Yet I keep coming back for more.

Frowning, I did a thing I didn't expect. Flinging the small glass into the ocean below me, I watched it shatter against a rock, the liquid flowing down into the water. It was oddly satisfying to watch. A burst of rage ran through me, as I could vision Angela to my right. I yelled in anger, my voice echoing through the night sky, fading into nothingness. My head felt like an overripe melon ready to burst, as I winced, falling to my knees, leaning my back against the railing.

Tears began to flow down my cheeks like waterfalls, as everything I tried to hold in came tumbling down, my emotions getting the better of me. All of this was just too much to handle. Everything is fucked up. And it's all my fault.

After a while, I stood up, wiping my tears, a sense of purpose finally reaching me, making me stumble drunkenly through the hallways quicker than usual. Arriving outside of a certain window, I clenched my fists, unable to hold it together any longer. So I let everything out, hoping the woman inside could hear me.

"Angela!" I yelled, gaining no response, the lights in her room shutting off as I yelled. She had to be in there. "Angela come out here! Angela!" I repeated her name louder, not caring if the entire world heard what I had to say. "Come out please! Please! I-I need to talk!" I stuttered, leaning against a wall for a moment as the alcohol in my system hit me once more tonight. "Angie! I-I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything! I'm sorry for not telling you my real name, or about Jane and everyone! I'm sorry I've been so cruel to you ever since Jane came back! I'm sorry I shouted at you in Numbani!" I tried to reach her.

I knew she could hear me, but she still refused to see me. "The truth is...the truth is I-I love you! And I don't know what to do about that, or what to say to fix this! I just want what we had again! I-I mean...my life hasn't been the same! They're forcing me to do this event! They don't care what I think! They won't let me train, or go to the shooting range, or leave the base! My life is falling apart...and I need you...please..."

Tears began to well up in my eyes, as I choked up on the words. "I know I'm an asshole, and I'm sorry. But I'm falling apart without you! I've lost everything! My friends, my family, the only way I could get away from it all stripped from me because of that fucking terrorist! I'm an alcoholic and I'm a narcissistic asshole who doesn't have any friends, and is a washed up has been who is waiting for someone to kill him. Please just come out here! Alright?! You come out here and y-you talk to me!"

Even after everything I said, I was met with silence, as my tears burst out of me once more, and I sobbed. I was waiting for an answer, and I never received one. "ANGELA!" I let out one last scream, before I threw my hat to the floor, falling down beside it in a fit of anger and sadness. I couldn't tell if all of the emotions were coming from depression or the alcohol, but I didn't care anymore. This was my only chance to find happiness, and I blew it. My one shot at redemption, gone with the wind. I almost wished I could drown in my tears, curling up into a ball of despair. I'm a shell of a man, and broken. I've lost everything. I've lost my friends, I've lost my will to live, and most importantly I've lost Angela. I've been stripped of everything I own, and thrown to the dirt.

I've lost.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Wasted

Angela's POV

Last night has yet to entirely leave my mind, Nathan's screams and desperate cries for help haunting me, preventing me from getting what little sleep I could. The once great man is falling into a pit of depression and self destructive behavior, and I doubt I'll be able to pull him out of it. Most would say he's too far gone. And as much as I hate to admit it, a part of me wants to leave him to his fate. The pain he is going through is his doing. The alcoholism and drunken sparks of rage are because of his weak will, and inability to recognize his situation. As if reality itself means nothing to him.

But the voices in the back of my head constantly tell me how horrible of a choice it was to leave him to suffer. Yes his pain is because of his poor choices, but they've been escalated because of me and many others. I haven't exactly treated him perfectly. Not saying he's done the opposite of that, but that he doesn't deserve it. I couldn't find it in my heart to leave him, not after everything we've been through. He's a good man, down on his luck, who is losing friends when he needs them the most.

I still get the same feeling whenever I look at him. I can't just deny my feelings for him. It took every bit of strength I had for me to not answer him last night, with his nearly endless amounts of apologies and pleads for forgiveness. Only now was I realizing how cruel it was to leave him hanging, but I couldn't face him. It hurt to see him like that. To see him breaking down, his tears flowing. Nathan was falling apart, and I sat back and watched.

The guilt hit me even harder this morning as I knocked on his door, a brand new hole accompanying the door handle, probably from his anger. The door also seemed to barely hold onto the hinges, the mechanical lock beside the door which required a passcode to enter was cracked, in serious need of repairs. Sighing, I heard nothing come from the other end in response.

Multiple possibilities as to why that happened. Probably didn't want to answer, or was fast asleep. Ever since the mission in Numbani he's slept for hours on end, losing his interest in following a strict curfew. Or, he just wasn't there. He has stumbled into other rooms or never went to his room before, apparently preferring to sleep on a bench nearby, with a beer bottle in his hand.

Going against my better judgment which told me to leave, I instead opened the door using the passcode I had memorized, intruding. I hoped he was at least dressed, or half way decent.

Entering, the stench of alcohol struck me, multiple bottles and clothes strewn about carelessly. His bed was in an even more sorry state of affairs than the room, it's sheets and comforter hanging off of the bed, stained with vomit and other unsavory smells.

Nathan, who apparently didn't mind the smell, or the state of his room, was sleeping peacefully, his arm hanging lazily off the bed, his hat resting on his head in a crooked fashion. As I approached him, he almost seemed cute, his eyes resting peacefully, chest rising up and down. The gentle glaze of the sun tickling his face, his brows furrowed when I nudged him.

Nudging him once more, his eyes opened slightly, blinking a few times to get his bearings. Nathan grunted in annoyance, his hat sliding off his head to the floor below. I offered a weak smile, setting a mug of coffee on his desk, as he coughed. "Haven't had a beauty in my bed like you in ages..." he muttered groggily, his eyes fixated on me. Attempting to hide my blush, I turned away, picking up an empty bottle of whiskey and placing it on his desk. "Can't say I've had the same." I replied, and he grinned.

"Angela? Sorry...mistook you for someone else." Nathan laughed to himself, and I frowned, confused. "Who was it, if you don't mind me asking?" I inquired, as he shrugged, taking a sip of his freshly brewed coffee. "An old girlfriend. Back when I was young." He said, and I smirked. "Will they be coming back anytime soon?" I joked, and he frowned. "Har-dee-har."

Giggling, I tried to not think about his naked chest in front of me. His toned body seemed to glow with the sun reflecting off of his back as he bent down to fetch his shirt. Buttoning it up, he noticed me staring. "See something ya like?" He mocked me, as I stuttered. "It's very good...the shirt I mean." I answered, as he grinned. Stepping towards me, Nathan scoffed. "Strictly professional."

Ignoring the comment as best I could, I withdrew a magazine I'd been meaning to show him. Bad news I was afraid.

Reyes had gotten a paper published, and it talks about him leading the strike team into Numbani. The team Nathan was leading. Gabriel took credit for it, taking the glory for himself, the crowds adoring him for it. I never took him as that kind of a man, betraying his fellow agents. Nathan was the one who worked so hard. Nathan was the one who kept us alive. But instead he was written off as just a fellow squad mate rather than the leader he was. I wished I had better news.

"Nathan, I've been meaning to show you this. You might not like it." I muttered, handing him the magazine. He frowned. "Well what a lovely way to start my day. More bad news. It's a wonder I'm still alive with all this bullshit being thrown my way." Reading the paper, he growled, the grip on it tightening. "Really? This is how I'm repaid? For everything I did for this fucker? Piece of shit. I should've known he was so hungry for fame he'd do anything, even throw me under the bus and make me look like some fool for doing what I did. Him leading the strike team. If you don't mind I'm gonna have a chat with this 'hero of Numbani'."

Stopping him, I placed a hand on his chest, and he turned to me. "Perhaps you could wait? Clear your head? After all you've just woken up." I offered, and he raised an eyebrow. "Why? Gabe betrayed me. He took all the credit for himself. Always craving attention. Why should I wait? The motherfucker is probably sitting at his desk touching himself looking at his own portrait. I'm fucking done with that self conceited asshole."

"Nathan please. Just let it be. There is enough attention on us as it is. We don't need you stirring up any drama." I warned, and he gripped my wrist. "Are you seriously taking his side on this?" Nathan asked, and I shook my head. "No. I'm not. I just want you to think rationally. You haven't been doing that very well recently." I said, and he growled in anger. "What because I get drunk? It's not like you care. You don't fucking care about me. You never have."

Snapping, I shoved him back into the wall, as he stumbled. "Don't say that! Don't ever say I didn't care for you! I still care about you, but you're not thinking straight! Clear your head for once before you make another hasty decision!" I scolded him, and he stood there, leaning against the wall. "Why didn't you come outside last night? I know you heard me. What happened?" He asked, as I sighed. "I couldn't bare to look at you. There was nothing I could do..." I defended my actions, looking down a bit.

Nathan raised his voice, the same anger in his voice when we were in Numbani hitting me once more. "You could've came out! You could've talked to me! You could've told me what to do! But you didn't! You fucking watched! Don't tell me you care when you've hung me out to dry like this!" He answered, and I placed a hand on his cheek, taking a step forward. "Nathan. You know how I feel about you. But this can't go on. Please...stop drinking. You're hurting yourself. You're hurting those around you. You're hurting me." I replied, and Nathan gripped my hand that was on his cheek, squeezing it in a comforting way.

"It's not that easy." He muttered, trying to offer a weak smile, failing. "I've gotta go. I'll see you around." He pushed past me abruptly, not saying another word, stumbling slightly before catching himself. I sighed, realizing he was still hungover. Still drunk. I suppose I should get used to that. I haven't seen him sober since Numbani. To me, Nathan died during that mission.

A few hours later...

Nathan's POV

Having already downed a few shots of bourbon, I was feeling a little tipsy, trying to drown my emotions once more. The news displaying on the holovids wasn't helping me forget why I came here, speaking about the event I was expected to go to tomorrow, which I did not look forward to. Though it's too late now, seemingly everyone in the whole world wants to hear about my "bravery". Even though the credit is still somehow being taken from me by a person I trusted. Gabriel Reyes, my commander. Or at least what's left of him. I've lost respect for the man, and I don't think I'll ever look at him the same.

I'd already spent the day being dressed up like some doll, and mentally preparing myself for the night tomorrow, and now I was spending the evening alone, drinking, like I did just about everyday now. Ana forced me to talk to some reporters this afternoon, and I fumbled through, stumbling over my words and answering the questions in a hasty fashion. They could tell I wanted to get out of there, and they had a bit of humanity left, allowing me to go early rather than letting me suffer and make myself look like even more of an idiot.

The news began covering Gabriel's paper he got published, and I grew irritated quickly, cracks forming on the glass I held in my hands. Reporters began to speak about his courageous acts and heroic deeds, speaking about him saving his squad singlehandedly, protecting civilians from incoming fire, acting selflessly. All of it was bullshit. I did all of that. I protected others. I saved my squad singlehandedly. I led us to victory. But instead I'm being stripped of that, and only labeled "the idiot who fought Akande Ogundimu hand to hand and lost". Everyone talking about how lucky I am to be alive.

"When my agent Nathan Parker ran out of the building and towards Akande, I was helpless to stop him. I'm just glad he made it out of there alive. He's a good kid." Gabriel had said, and I growled. A kid he doesn't care about. He'd probably prefer my death over what happened, so he could say he fought Akande himself. It hurt knowing he'd betray me like this without a second thought. He was so power hungry, he didn't even stop to ask if what he was doing was right. No wonder he wasn't promoted. He has no integrity.

I found myself outside his office, knocking on his door in a firm, yet calm manner. It was difficult to disguise my anger and disgust towards my commander, but I inhaled deeply, and entered.

Gabriel sat at his desk, busy typing away at some documents I couldn't recognize, barely offering a second glance. When he finished, he turned to me in his chair, raising an eyebrow. "What is it Parker?" He asked, and I sighed. "Just checking in boss. What's up?" I bluffed, and he smirked. "Just making the final arrangements on your event tomorrow evening. Hope you can stay sober for a few hours." He muttered, and I tried to ignore the snide remark.

"I'm sure I'll manage." I replied, and he nodded. "You better. Can't have you making yourself look like even more of an ass. Though that might be hard, with how stupid you are sometimes kid." Gabriel grinned, and I nodded. "Yeah." I said quickly, and he grunted, giving me a look I couldn't quite distinguish.

"You're drunk aren't you?" He asked abruptly, and I sighed. "Nothing wrong with that is there?" I shrugged, and he slammed his fist on the desk. "Damnit Parker you can't keep doing this! You need to get your shit together, ASAP!" He ordered, and I scoffed. "What? So you guys can dress me up in some suit?! I'm sick and tired of this!" I raised my voice, and he shook his head. "Get over yourself! You're so selfish! Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to! That's life! Suck it up and move on. You want to come complain to me about how hard your life is, while you drink it away? Fine. But I'm done with your bullshit, Nate. I'm not cleaning up after you anymore."

"It's not like you ever did! You sent me on a fucking suicide mission in Numbani! You tried to fucking kill me!" I responded, and he stood from his seat, leaning over his desk. "You should be thanking me! You're all over the news because of me! You're finally getting recognition because of me! Quit taking everything so personal!" Gabriel snapped, and I scowled at him, staring him down.

"So I guess I should thank you for ripping me off." I said calmly, and he frowned. "What?" He asked, trying to play dumb. He knew what I was talking about. "I read the paper you got published. You took the credit for my work. For my strike team. For my actions." I answered, and he didn't back down. "I gave you credit."

"Yeah as one of your fucking assistants on the team. I did all the work. I was the leader. Not you. You're taking a shit in my mouth and saying you bought me dinner!" I yelled, and he growled. "That's the way it works!" He replied, and I snapped. "It's fucking bullshit!"

"You're smart Nate," Gabriel began, pinching the bridge of his nose. "But grow the fuck up!"

Scoffing, I took a step towards him, less than a foot away from his face. "What like you? An old, useless has-been coasting on an outdated reputation, thriving off of other people's work?" I asked, and his brows furrowed, fists clenching. I was striking a nerve. Good. "No wonder you weren't promoted to Strike Commander. You've got no integrity."

He leaped over his desk, tackling me to the floor, as we crashed into the table behind us, the hot coffee on the table spilling over us, burning my eyes. Gabriel quickly punched me, hurting my still injured jaw. Another strike hit me in the temple, and I felt blood begin to pour out of my mouth as another fist collided with my lip. Pushing him off me, I rolled to my feet, grinning. I could feel the cut running along my cheek, along with the gash on my upper lip. I liked it, oddly enough. Taunting him, then being hit for it.

I yearned for more pain, wanting to be hit once more. "That's it? Jeez I expected more. If you were a Strike Commander I'd be ashamed. You can't even throw a punch." I laughed, before he charged me. I didn't defend myself, bracing right before he slammed me into the wall, gripping my collar, choking me, his eyes burning with anger. I smiled, which seemed to make him even angrier, his grip tightening, my eyes rolling back into my skull. He dropped me to the floor, as I gasped for air, before he picked me back up again, placing me on my feet. I felt his knee hit my stomach, knocking the wind out of me, then slamming my head onto his desk. I could feel the blood rushing out of me, but I had never felt better. Struggling to stand, he kicked me in my exposed ribs, knocking me back down.

Gabriel grabbed me by my black jacket, throwing me out of his office. I groaned in pain, rolling over to my back, staring at the ceiling. His footsteps approached me, and before I could mock him again, his boot met my chin, the blood in my mouth spraying on the floor. He leaned down, his fists pounding my head again and again, my head slamming into the hard floor beneath me. I grinned weakly, the thought occurring to me that he was killing me. He was going to beat me to death. The thought was oddly calming, as I waited for the end to come.

But before that could happen, he stood up. Gabe took a look at his bloodied hands, almost in shock at what he'd done. Shaking his head, he left me there on the ground, as I smiled.

Groaning, I felt the effects of the alcohol in my system, allowing me to tolerate the pain more than usual. I stood, leaning against the wall, a shaky hand running along my face. I winced, feeling the cuts and bruises on me make themselves known, as I struggled to keep moving. Withdrawing my last cigar, I placed it in my mouth, igniting it, relishing in its smoky flavor, trying to calm my nerves. I almost laughed when I noticed the blood covering my mouth stick to the cigar as well. The pain felt good. I felt good. Probably the alcohol that made me feel that way.

The pain seemed to catch up to me, as I moved at a slow pace to Angela's office, the only one who could make it go away. Grunting as I tripped, falling into the door, I gripped the handle, turning. The door swung open in response, as I collapsed into the floor of Angela's office. She stood from her seat quickly, rushing over to help me up. Wincing, I tried to keep from yelling in pain as she held her hands on my face, analyzing the damage.

"Nathan! What happened?! Who did this to you?!" She demanded, sitting me down on her seat, quickly grabbing her emergency kit, hastily pulling out bandages and scalpels. "Had a chat with Gabriel." I smiled, and she gasped. "How could he do this to you?! When you're already in such a critical condition?! I'm going to have a stern talk with Strike Commander Morrison about this!" Angela said, and I chuckled. She was cute when she was so angry.

"I'll look great for the cameras tomorrow." I shrugged, groaning when she began to stitch the cut on my cheek back up. "How can you be so nonchalant about this?!" She asked, and I smiled. "I'm fine Angie." I insisted as she dabbed a cool towel against my face, wiping the blood away. "You are not!" She snapped, and I raised an eyebrow. She realized her mistake, sighing, soon trying to apologize for yelling. "I'm sorry Nathan. You didn't deserve that. I've been horrible to you, and I can't ever repay you for tolerating me. I've been so belligerent towards you. I should've thought of your feelings. I should've come out last night. You deserve better."

Smiling, I felt happy for once today. "Hey, don't apologize. I've been a drunk asshole ever since Numbani. The one who should be sorry is me. I don't know if it's because I'm drunk or my probable concussion, but I feel horrible for what I've done. I know I'm not perfect, and I've hurt you, but I'm trying to move on. Maybe the first step is to forgive myself. That's what I'm trying to do..."

Angela smiled at that, seemingly satisfied with my response. "I'm glad. Trust me, we're here for you. Tomorrow you can count on me to get you through it. I promise." She assured me, and I nodded. "I promise to stay away from alcohol the entire day. You'll be my crutch." I promised in turn, and she giggled. "Lucky me."

"Indeed." I agreed, as she leaned in to get a better look at the cut on my lips. She was very close, and I was still drunk, so it was pretty difficult to ignore the desire to kiss her. 'I just fixed this. I'm not fucking it up again.' I thought, remembering my promise I made. It was admittedly going to be difficult to stay away from alcohol because of my craving for it, but one step at a time I suppose. I'll get through this. I'm tired of waking up every morning wasted. I want my life back, as much as it may suck right about now.

When she finished, she sighed, content with her work, allowing me to stand. Straightening my back, I stood a few inches taller than her, grinning down at her. "There. Good as new." She grinned, as I chuckled. "Saying that to make me feel better?" I asked, and she shook her head. "Telling the truth." Angela answered, and I placed a hand on her cheek. She didn't resist as I pulled her closer.

"Hey Ange- AH!" We both turned to see Lena jumping in surprise as she found us so close together. Angela blushed, as I frowned, annoyed by the sudden interruption. "Ever heard of knocking?" I asked, as Angela hit me with her elbow swiftly. I grunted, as Angela struggled to explain herself. "Lena...we were simply-"

"Don't tell me! Jeez I don't wanna know! I-I should go!" She blinked away, running back through the hallways, as if running fast enough would make her forget what happened. Angela scowled, turning to me. "Really?! You had to say that?!" She shoved me, but I could sense the amusement underneath her fake anger. She wasn't the best at hiding her joy. Rushing out the door, calling after Lena, she left me to myself. And I laughed.

Not some forced laugh, or laugh because of the pain, or laugh to hide my true feelings. It was genuine, as I felt happiness for the first time, laughing at the hilarity of it all, imagining Angela running after Lena through the hallways, trying to explain herself. I smiled, forgetting the pain I felt.

I just smiled.

 **Finally I got this chapter out! This took way too long I must admit, but I was struggling with how I wanted to end this chapter. I hope you enjoyed the little bit of happiness I put in the end after all the depressing chapters and situations I've covered recently. This still is a happy story, and the chapters will start lightening up soon, but I'll tell you right now the next chapter won't be happy. It might take me even longer to make than this one, because there are so many possibilities for how I could write it, and I'm struggling just picking one, so please, just bare with me. I promise I'll get them out. And thanks for the reviews, and favorites/follows. It means a lot! See you guys next time!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey guys! So this chapter is going to be completely different from how I originally planned it to be. After struggling with what themes I wanted to go with and direction I wanted to take, I completely re-wrote it, and I hope you all enjoy! This chapter is gonna feature Nathan's flashbacks to the event that was held for him and Winston, and the major events that happened. This takes place the night after the event, with Nathan piecing together everything that happened the night before, still a little dazed from it all. He'll remember some sad, some happy, and even intimate moments from the previous night. Thanks for reading, I appreciate the support.**

Chapter 20: You Don't Give a Shit About Me

This was the first morning I've woke up sober in an entire month, and I can't say I don't feel good. I suppose Angela was right. She was certainly my crutch...in many ways.

I shook my head, groaning as I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up completely. Coming to my senses, I noticed the indent left in the comforter of the bed, clearly formed by the body of someone else. Smiling, I remembered who it was, a little sore from everything last night. It had been a while I must say, but I suppose my playboy days never ended, and the skills I picked up haven't left me just yet.

That side of the bed was still warm, hinting that the person in mind had just left. I chuckled, proud of myself a bit. "Hallelujah." I muttered, standing up from my bed, stepping on an empty bottle from a couple nights ago. I still needed to clean this room, which I was now painfully aware of. Grunting in displeasure with my own laziness and procrastination, I set a reminder to tidy up later today. First on the agenda was get some clothes on, and find the motivation to start the day in my cup of coffee.

Slipping into some grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, which had the Overwatch logo brightly displayed along the chest, I sighed, scratching my back, still feeling the marks left from nails scraping along my back. I almost contemplated never cleaning the bed, just for memories sake. Smiling, I noticed a very familiar lab coat lying on the floor. Picking it up in my hands, feeling the silk run through my fingers. Looking at the tag, I grinned. 'Angela Ziegler'.

Angela must've left it on her way out, as I remembered the night fondly. By the time we got back from the event, she tried to get back to work, grabbing her lab coat and heading to her office. Chasing after her, I convinced her it was much too late to continue her research, and that it could wait. Angela didn't seem to mind going on yet another walk, talking about the night. I ignored the argument with Gabriel, trying to avoid those thoughts. One thing led to another, and here I was.

Heading into the cafeteria with a smile on my face, I gazed at the agents buzzing along, trying to spot a familiar face, grasping the lab coat in my hands gently, as it almost assured me this was real. Finding Lena in the crowd, I headed towards her, as she sat on the counter near one of the numerous coffee machines. She waved at me, as I began making my own coffee. "Hey." I muttered. "Hey." She said, reaching for a cup to make her own. Gripping the cup she was going for, I met her eyes. "I got this. How do you take your coffee?" I asked, and she seemed surprised. I never was a morning person, rarely talking, or offering to make coffee for someone.

"What? Did 'The Hero of Numbani' just offer to make lil' ol' me coffee?" She raised an eyebrow, teasing me, as I let loose a low growl. "Uh cream with extra sugar." She stumbled, realizing it was still me. "Of course you do." I mumbled, adding sugar into her cup as well as mine. Turning back to look for a certain doctor in the crowd while I stirred my cup of coffee, I noticed Gabriel speaking with Ana and Morrison about something. Scowling as I stared that bastard down, the grip on my spoon tightening enough to shatter it.

Lena noticed it, nudging me slightly, snapping me back to what I was doing. Handing Lena her angrily stirred coffee, she sipped it diligently, as I downed it rather quickly. The caffeine hit me like a shot of whiskey, as I perked up a bit. We sat in silence for once. Odd, since neither of us really knew when to shut our mouths. But it was good, almost peaceful.

Spotting Angela heading towards us, certainly craving coffee like the rest of us, I smiled without my brain telling myself to do. Her eyes met mine in a quick yet warm embrace, as she nodded at me slightly. Turning to Lena as she approached, she grinned happily. "Ah Lena, lovely to see you this morning." Angela said, as Lena nodded in return. "Good morning Ang!" She replied, as I withdrew the lab coat I had tucked behind me, resting on the counter.

"You uh, must've forgotten this in the lab last night. Rough night?" I smirked, draping the coat over her shoulders. She blushed, trying her best to keep from smiling and giving away what happened between us. 'Strictly professional.' I thought to myself. "You could say that. I had a very restless patient, kept me up most of the night." Angela bit her lip ever so slightly, raising a suggestive eyebrow at me. Realizing we weren't alone, I noticed Lena squinting at both of us, eyes frantically looking around for more clues as to what happened.

"Well, I'll leave you two to um...chat. I'll see you later." Lena awkwardly excused herself, offering me a look that said "Oh my god you didn't!" I smiled, calling out for her. "Oh and Lena?" I said, as she turned. "Yeah?"

"Don't forget we've got training to do later. Morrison sees even more potential in you." I reminded her, and she groaned in annoyance. "I know." She replied, leaving Angela and us to ourselves. Meeting her soft blue eyes, she smiled. "So, this patient. Was he handsome?" I teased, taking a step forward. Doing the same, she shrugged. "He was alright. Had a stupid hat he always wears, but not bad."

"Awww come on. I'm certain it's his own style. Besides, bet he was a player in his early days." I responded, playing along with her. "And I bet he lived up to his reputation."

Smirking, I doubted the tension between us could get any thicker, as I chuckled. "I sure hope so." Taking a sip of her coffee, we leaned against separate counters, eyes locked. "Nathan, I wanted to tell you something." Angela began, dropping her playful attitude, instead a serious look on her face. "Yes I know you love me." I joked, before listening to what she had to say.

"Thank you. Thanks for being so good at the event. Besides getting kicked out by an infuriated Gabriel, and destroying a good bit of his reputation, I'd say you did perfect." She giggled, as I frowned, thinking about what happened between us. Gabriel and I were at each other's throats the entire night, and it was showing. He pulled me aside after I taunted him one too many times during my interviews with the crowds, as he dragged me by the neck, throwing me out the door, following me. We both snapped at each other, and it ended with some cursing and yelling. Angela escorted me back to base. She helped distract from it.

"Well, thanks for dragging my ass back to base before I did something stupid. I'm sorry you had to see me like that." I apologized, and she nodded. "It's fine Nate. All in all I think you did well. Winston too. I was worried for his sake with how uncomfortable he was the whole time." Angela laughed, and I chuckled. "We both sort of felt the same about it all. It was weird, but I sort of liked having him around." I admitted.

"The great Nathan Parker finally admits he cares about his fellow agents here? Simply unbelievable." She mocked me, as I scoffed. "I'm sure I showed my appreciation of your company in many ways. Ways you sure seemed to enjoy." I grinned, as Angela rolled her eyes. "Of course. I better get going. I've got some work to attend to. I'll see you later tonight?" She asked, turning back to me as she exited.

"Yeah. I'll see you around, Doc."

 _Flashback..._

 _Sniffing as I wiped the blood away that trickled down my nose, I watched as the snow fell softly to the ground, thinking about what I just said. Spitting the blood out of my mouth, coating the once white snow in red, grunting as I stood up. That's two times in a row he's beaten me up for snapping at him. He's losing his patience with me._

 _When I noticed Angela exit the building, I tried to compose myself, as she approached me cautiously. "I was worried when Gabriel took you out here. Everything alright?" She asked, and I nodded, still facing away from her. Stepping to my right, Angela took a good look at me, noticing the stain left on my mouth from the blood, along with the red snow under my feet. Angela scoffed, pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation._

 _"Again? He struck you again?" She inquired, fury rising in her voice. "It's fine. I wasn't exactly being kind to him." I replied, as she sighed, turning me to her. Noticing her slight shivers, I didn't hesitate to take the coat I wore and place it on her shoulders. Smiling down at her, I was tempted to kiss her. "Come on, lets go." I encouraged, as she raised an eyebrow. "Why? Did Gabriel throw you out?" She asked, as I slowly nodded in response._

 _Sighing, she followed me as we began to walk back to base. It was a quiet stroll, walking side by side, hands in our pockets as the cold air nipped at our naked skin. When we arrived inside the base, the snow that gathered on our clothing soon melted away, the warm interior of the base causing me to smile._

 _"Home sweet home." I muttered, as Angela rolled her eyes. "A very busy home." She added, as I followed her to her office. When I noticed she was slipping into her usual lab coat, I shook my head as I sat on her desk in front of her, preventing her from focusing on her work. It was much too late for all of that. Swinging my legs back and forth like a child, I began to beg her to leave the work for tomorrow._

 _"Angie, come on. We can work later. We can do better things than this." I said, and she tried to shove past me as I sat on her desk, reaching for her office supplies. Gripping her hand, I met her eyes, smiling. "Nathan, we had our fun at the event. Now is time for work." Angela said, and I stuck my lower lip out, pouting. "Talking to reporters isn't fun. Neither is being thrown out by my commanding officer. Come on I'm bored." I protested against the idea of getting back to work at such a late time, as Angela sighed, standing from her chair._

 _"What do you have in mind?" She asked, as I shrugged. 'Maybe a shower to help warm up?' I bit my tongue, offering a less suggestive choice. "How about I fix us up some hot cocoa? My mom used to always make the best kind." I offered, and she seemed tempted. "I'll even put extra marshmallows in yours..." I added, and she scoffed. "Am I that easy to you?" She smiled, and I chuckled. "I was hoping, yeah." I admitted, and she giggled. "You know my weakness."_

 _Arriving at the cafeteria once more today, I began to make hot cocoa, the nostalgic scent filling my nostrils, as I reminisced about the times my mother would make some on snowy days. All I needed was a blanket and I'd feel like a kid again. Frowning as I rummaged through the drawers, I couldn't find the marshmallows. It's not hot chocolate without marshmallows. "Hey Angie, you got any idea where-" I turned, stopping as I noticed she had the bag in her hands, withdrawing one from the plastic container. Grinning, I stepped towards her, reaching for the treat._

 _Pulling her hand back, she teased me, as I struggled to grab it. Trying to reach around her, she pulled it back once more, as I realized I was mere inches away from her face. I could feel her warm breath on my face, lips almost touching. A part of me didn't want to back up, but I did so anyways, blushing as I did so. "Alright you win." I conceded, as Angela popped the marshmallow in her mouth, tossing the bag my way. I caught it, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach._

 _Handing her the mug, I was cautious. "Be careful, it's hot." I said, and she smiled. "Thank you Nathan." She said gratefully, as I sipped the hot beverage, feeling it warm my body up quickly, the smile on my lips widening significantly. Felt just like home. This was good. Almost too good, since I wasn't used to good things happening to me. Seems like life is finally going to give me a break._

 _"Hey Angela, thanks." I broke the silence, as she looked up from her drink. "For what?" Angela replied, as I sighed. "Just being there for me today. I appreciate it." I answered, and she offered a kind smile. "Of course Nathan. You can always count on me." She said, and I nodded. "I know."_

 _"You did well with the reporters. Although you did seem to flirt with a few of them." She frowned, and I smiled. "You wound me. Just harmless flirting. Hell Jack told me to do that, said it helps get good attention towards you. Besides, my eyes are set on another." I smirked, noticing her try to conceal her blush. "Well it seemed to work. I think they liked you."_

 _"Who doesn't?" I joked, stepping towards her, setting my mug down. "I could name a few." She responded, as I scoffed. "Akande Ogundimu doesn't count." I added, as she giggled. "Of course."_

 _I noticed the lack of space between us, hands touching slightly. I grinned at her, as she returned the same. She pushed past me, teasing me. "Well, it's time we went off to bed. Lena needs you early in the morning for training." She reminded me, shattering the mood I was trying to set. "Yeah. I know." I tried to play it off and hide the disappointment I felt, smiling weakly._

 _We began walking back to my room, which was luckily along the same path she would take to hers. It was quiet, as I thought about what I said to Gabriel, and what he said in response. "This was your ticket out of the gutter Nate, and you just blew it." He had said, and I closed my eyes, not looking forward to our next meeting. I really fucked things up didn't I?_

 _Stopping outside my door, our eyes locked for a moment. Angela looked great, her golden locks falling to her shoulders, cool blue eyes enough to send shivers down my spine. I didn't look too shabby, though still a little roughed up from Gabriel. I didn't have my hat, as much as that irritated me, and the bangs of my hair got in my eyes at times, as I didn't particularly care for my appearance anymore. Still sporting my dress shirt and dark red tie, I still somehow maintained a level of class unparalleled._

 _"Guess this is my stop." I muttered, hesitant to actually accept the fact that this night was over. It was surprisingly good. "Indeed." Angela replied, as I sighed, smiling at her for the last time, opening my door. Turning to her, I kissed her cheek gently. "Thanks Angie." I said, as she blushed. Beginning to close my door, she interrupted me, gripping my tie and yanking me back down to her height, planting a kiss on my lips this time._

 _My eyes widened in surprise, as I felt her hand run up to my hair, gripping a fistful of my dark brown bangs. When we broke from the kiss, I was breathing heavily, confused. "I-I...strictly professional?" I stuttered, lip quivering, hands trembling a bit. "Ssh, people might hear us working on a project in here." She giggled, pulling me with her into my room, as I didn't resist. Chuckling, I shut the door behind us with my foot._

 _Not making it to the bed in time, we fell to the floor, laughing together as we made a loud thump, the unorganized papers crinkling underneath our bodies, the bottles beside us rolling, as she gasped. "You alright?" Angela asked in between fits of laughter, as I rubbed my now throbbing head, still laughing. "Ow." I winced, sitting up with her in my lap, kissing her neck, feeling her hands run down to my belt. My heart began to race as I realized this was really happening. My hands dropped from her sides to her waist, pulling her even closer down to me, kissing her passionately. I could still taste the hot chocolate we shared on her lips._

 _I felt her tug at my chest, beginning to unbutton my now wrinkled shirt, as I slipped her slim shoulders out of her lab coat, tossing it to the ground carelessly. I was only focused on her, hearing her breathing pick up as we began to undress one another. "Nathan." She moaned, as I smirked at her. "Strictly professional?" I asked._

 _Angela giggled in response. "Strictly professional."_

Later...

I found myself nearly stomping through the hallways when I heard my name come over the intercom, interrupting my training session with Lena. Gabriel wanted to see me for something, as I prepared myself to be hit once more for speaking my mind. I haven't seen him since this morning, and the last words I said were not the kindest. I wasn't looking forward to see what I had in store for me.

Hesitating as I reached out to open his door, I thought for a moment. I needed to mind what I say. I can't go around saying whatever I want anymore. I had responsibilities now, as much as I've tried to reject them. But why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't I go back to how things were? When I asked for recognition, I didn't want this. I guess I need to be careful what I wish for.

Opening his door, I found him in his regular position, hunched over his desk, famous scowl on his face, brows furrowed in deep thought and concentration. To my surprise, Ana stood to his right, offering a weak smile upon seeing me. I didn't return the same, still worried.

"Nathan. We need to talk." He ordered, and I sighed. "About?"

"Your problem." Ana answered for him, and I frowned, shaking my head. "I-I don't have a problem." I denied the accusation, but they didn't seem convinced. "The drinking. The incessant ramblings. The irresponsible behaviors you've shown recently; especially last night. The sheer lack of respect for authority. You have problems, and they need to be addressed as such." Gabriel grumbled.

"So this is about yesterday huh?" I asked, referring to when I snapped at my commanding officer. "It's more than that. You need to fix whatever is going on in your life. Addressing your feelings and problems may be the key to solving this. But you cannot go on like this. Not with the responsibility you now have." Captain Amari stated, and I growled. "Like either of you care. You just want me to stop calling you out on your bullshit."

"Call it whatever you want, but it will stop. You will show proper respect to your commanders, and recognize who is in charge here." Gabriel replied to the comment in an aggressive tone, still irritated with me. "Nathan, you have responsibilities now. You can no longer do what you please." Ana added, and I nodded, biting my tongue hard enough to draw blood, inhaling deeply before speaking.

"I understand. I'll work on it." I said, and they both nodded. "Good. Now as for the other thing, you may not like." Ana said softly, and I closed my eyes, meditating on what to respond with. "What is it?" I asked, and Gabe sighed before speaking.

"You are to report to another facility away from your regular headquarters here. Congratulations, you're being recruited to Overwatch."

My eyes widened, and I frowned, confused by all of it. Me? Why me? I haven't done anything good enough. I'm not worthy. "Will I still work here, with everyone else?" I inquired, and Gabriel shook his head. "No kid. This is goodbye." He answered, and I shook my head, at a loss for words. "T-This is some kind of joke right? You're just fucking with me? I'm not actually going anywhere?" I stuttered, and Amari smiled softly. "I'm afraid not. You're to report to your new headquarters in London by tomorrow. We'll miss you. I'm proud of you."

She acted like this was a good thing. Like my life wasn't being destroyed right in front of them. Blackwatch was who I was. I was a Blackwatch grunt. Not Overwatch. Blackwatch. This can't be happening. What about Jesse, Lena, Angela, Genji? What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to say to Jesse and Angela?

"Hey Jesse thanks for giving me a chance at redemption. See ya never!" The thought ran through my head, as I shuddered. "Hey Angela thanks for everything, but you can keep the relationship we have. I've got better things to do."

No. I refuse. Never.

"No." I muttered. They both stopped, Ana's eyes widening. "What do you mean?" She asked, and I growled. "I know what this is. Gabriel getting at me for everything I said. You just want to see me gone. You want to torture me. Fuck this!" I raised my voice, as Gabriel stood from his desk, slamming his hands on the table. "This isn't a choice kid! You're doing as you're told, or you're done here."

"Bullshit. You just want me gone." I replied, and he sighed. "As much as you disagree with me, I still care about you and your future. This is your best shot at changing the world for the better. You can redeem yourself kid." He tried to convince me, but I wasn't buying it. None of it. "You are on thin ice. Very, very thin ice. And it's cracking all around you. I won't stand by and watch you drown. I'm doing you a favor. Pack your bags. This is good news."

I scoffed, turning to Ana for support. She always had my back. She always did. "You can't be serious." I looked at her, as she stared at the ground, unable to look at me. My heart broke when I realized she supported this decision. After everything we'd been through, she was going to throw it all away. Scowling, I turned back to Gabriel. "You're going to London. You're going to train to be inducted into Overwatch. You'll work hard. You'll become an officer in Overwatch, and study to begin training recruits for Overwatch." Gabriel added through gritted teeth.

I snapped, unable to hold back anymore. They pushed me past a breaking point with this news. "And why is that on me huh?! Just so you all can look good and pretend you did your jobs?! So you can take even more credit for MY work?! So I can get some high paying job and take care of you all while you do nothing?! I'm not being your golden goose! I'm not going to London! I'm staying here!" I refused, tears beginning to well up in my eyes as emotions of all kinds began to flow through me. I was getting overwhelmed.

"Piece of fucking shit I mean...you don't just choose when you get to be responsible for me. Where were you both when my life was falling apart, my whole world got turned upside down, and I lost every single friend I've made here? But now that I've started to work out the bumps in my life, you want to make it seem like you've always had my back. Neither of you care about me. You're just trying to make yourselves look better."

Hearing the door open behind me, I spotted Angela, confusion apparent, as she looked around at all of us with a puzzled look on her face. "What is going on?" She demanded, as I turned back to the two officers in front of me. "They're forcing me to go to London to become a part of Overwatch. I'm not going. Never." I explained, as Angela frowned.

"What?" She asked, and I laughed to myself. "Right?" I agreed, and she shook her head. My heart broke when I heard her next words.

"This is great news!"

My breathing hitched, as I turned to her, pain visible in my eyes, feeling like a knife just punctured my heart, and she was twisting it. "Angela, I won't be here anymore if I go." I added, and she nodded. "We'll miss you, but you'll be able to see all of us every few months! This is very exciting! You'll be a part of Overwatch!" She exclaimed. I lacked the same enthusiasm.

Taking one last stand, I shook my head, refusing once more. "No. My place is here."

Ana approached me, shaking her head firmly, putting her foot down. "You have two choices, child. You do as you're told, or this is goodbye for good. Overwatch, or out." She gave me one last ultimatum.

Turning to Angela, she stared up at me. She wanted me to do this. Did last night mean nothing to her? I thought there was something between us. I should've known better than to fall in love again. All it is is a waste of time, and can only end in heartbreak. I thought about Jesse. We're separated for good either way. Jesse and I finally started to get along once again. Genji too. Ana wanted me to go. Gabriel sure as hell wanted me gone. Lena. I was just with her today. I said we could meet up for drinks tonight.

Sadly, those drinks will never be had.

I turned, storming out of his office, refusing to allow any signs of weakness or sadness show, wiping my tears away. They won't see me fall apart like this.

I damn near broke the door to my room, hearing it slam into the wall behind it. I felt the need to sob, to break down in tears. This was it wasn't it? The end of my journey here. I had to stand tall, and face it my way. I won't fall to my knees begging. That's not me. It never will be.

I didn't bother turning to Angela when I heard her voice behind me, standing in the door way. "What are you doing?" She asked, voice cracking with a bit of fear as she noticed the bag. I was packing my bags. I was done with this place. They never cared about me. They only thought about themselves. I was just another number to them. Easily replaceable.

"Well it's Overwatch or out, so I figured I'm not welcome here anymore." I answered, as she sighed. "What is so bad about Overwatch?" Angela snapped, and I gritted my teeth, clenching my hands together. "They're sending me away! Can't you see that?! They don't want me here anymore! They don't give a shit about me! They just want me to be some fucking pawn! I'm not some lapdog for them to call on! I'm done."

"Nathan, it'll be alright. You still have us here at base. We'll be there for your induction ceremony." She tried to warm me up to the idea. It won't work. "Angela," I turned, eyes saddened by how she was so oblivious to what was really happening in front of her. "I won't see you again. I'll be buried in work. If I do this, I'm not who I am. I'm not Nathan Parker. I would fail everyone I've ever known. They want me to be famous and lead the way for peace and progress. That isn't me. It never will be."

"Quit being so stupid about all of this. You're taking it all way too personally." Angela said, stepping towards me. "But that's the thing! It's all personal!" I yelled, and she frowned, staring up at me with a disappointed glare. "Please. Don't throw your life away. This is a great opportunity. Yes we may be separated, but maybe that's for the best. We need to focus on our work here." How could she be so optimistic about this?

"Did last night mean nothing to you?! Were you just fooling around?! Was there nothing there?! Just using me to satisfy your cravings?! That's it isn't it?! You never felt anything for me! You never loved me. You lied." I snarled, forcing her back a few steps.

"What would you know about love? You're more familiar with lust than love. All you've ever done is fool around! That's been your life! You destroy everything in your path for your own selfish desires! You're a coward! Running away the first chance you get! When Amari said you'll be fired if you don't follow orders, boy did you see that green light and run for the hills. You're ridiculous Nathan. I was a fool to spend last night with you! What makes last night so special to you?!"

"BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT!" I snapped, heartbroken eyes staring back at her. Realizing what I said, I turned to finish packing my bags, refusing to sob. She thought that little of me. Angela was silent, contemplating what I said. When I turned back to leave, she had tears glistening in her eyes. I felt the urge to comfort her. I still felt something for her deep inside.

"Nathan...forgive me." She sobbed, and I walked past her, facing her one last time as I stepped into the hallway. "Goodbye, Dr. Ziegler. If you want to fool around more, I suggest Jesse. He's never been one to deny a girl." I spat, leaving her behind.

Struggling to stay strong, I felt the shivers run through me, breathing becoming difficult as I stepped outside the base. Glancing back, I looked at the Overwatch insignia, disgusted by what it now stood for. I looked all around me, spinning in circles, tears beginning to burst out as my breathing hitched, the cold snow falling around me, my footsteps away from the base muffling the noise of my sobs.

Everything good I've ever done happened here. I've become something good. I finally did things I could respect and be proud of. Now look at me, shivering in the winter wind, blowing into my fingerless gloves to keep warm, wandering the streets of a nearby city, lost in thought, ignoring the odd glares sent towards me. My life has gone to shit. I thought this time was different. I really fooled myself into believing Angela was different from all the others. That it wouldn't end in heartbreak and misery. I was naive enough to believe I'd be able to stay here forever. I guess I forgot how cruel life was.

Not again. I'll never forgive. And I'll never forget.

Flashback...

 _This night wasn't so bad. The event was okay, or at least tolerable. I even surprisingly enough enjoyed some of my time with the reporters and the media. The food was good, and I could only assume the alcohol was of the same quality. Though that wasn't for me tonight. I had my friends. I had to stay sober and responsible. Angela was my crutch._

 _Lena had teased me about my stuttering in the beginning, but I was admittedly nervous. Winston and I began to depend on each other, never really leaving one another's sight, relying on support as we faced the seemingly endless hordes of questions and comments. He was even funny, in his own awkward, stumbling ways. I appreciated having him by my side, so I could have someone else look as uncomfortable in a suit as I did._

 _Jesse was busy flirting with the countless women here, getting a few well deserved smacks from irritated women. We talked a few things out earlier, and I apologized for everything. He seemed to take it all pretty well, and we promised to leave it in the past._

 _Gabriel stared at me with harsh and concerned glares the entire night, his eyes unrelenting as he bombarded me with disappointed looks. I still had a few scars from last night, and his knuckles were still a bit raw. My jaw was sore, and I blamed the wounds on hard training, rather than admitting to the public what happened. I still hated him for what he did. He's betrayed me. Yet he felt little guilt._

 _I had to bite my tongue when the public turned to him, asking questions about his paper, and all about his "heroics" in Numbani. My heroics. Winston's too. Not his. None of it was his._

 _"Nathan, tell me, what was going through your mind when Gabriel said Akande was not to be underestimated, and was a foe you needed to work with a team to take down?" The question stood out to me from the mummers in the crowd. I thought about calling Gabriel out, instead joking my way out of the situation. "I was thinking, 'shit I can take him'." The crowd had seemed to enjoy that, not noticing the look I gave Gabe._

 _"How do you feel about Reyes' paper? Did you enjoy his portrayal of you? Was it accurate?" A man asked, and I laughed. This was gonna be good. Angela gave me a look, telling me to not do it. She knew what I had in mind. Hell Jesse even seemed to tense up._

 _"Well to be honest, I hated it. I thought he was dishonest about some things. In fact, I could list them. But I'll keep it brief. In short, I did most of the work. I lead the team. It was my strike team. I faced Akande by myself, not because of pride or ego, but because I had to. Gabriel was busy doing his own thing, which was just as important as mine. I stood against the mighty Doomfist to buy them time to defeat him. I wasn't some hero. We all were. I'm proud of us all here at Overwatch. I'm thankful for all the help I've received, and for Winston saving my life. They've become a family of sorts. But I'm disappointed in how Reyes depicted me. I thought he would describe me differently. I judged poorly, apparently."_

 _The silence in the room was almost deafening, as no one dared to say anything. Gabriel stared daggers at me, ready to kill me right here and now. I welcomed him with a sarcastic smile. I got the last laugh. I heard a jumbled Morrison call for the questions to be over, and the crowd dispersed in awkward fashion, mumbling as they went their separate ways._

 _When the room had emptied, leaving only us, I stood from my seat, smiling at Gabriel. He wanted me dead. I found it funny, knowing the public knew of his deception, and his blatant lies. Jesse stood up beside me. "Nathan you need to go." He muttered, but I stood there. Gabriel walked quickly over to me, and no one stopped him, staring at us, waiting for the next move. We'd been at each other's throats the whole night, and tensions couldn't get any higher. "I'll be just a moment with my recruit." He snarled, grabbing me by the scruff of my neck like a puppy._

 _He flung me outside, as I landed in the snow ungraciously. "What the hell is wrong with you?! The news is gonna be all over this!" He yelled, and I smiled. "You have got to be the most useless agent I've ever had. You can't complete one simple task! All you're good for is getting drunk. You still smell like a bar!"_

 _He had the gall to bring up drinking habits. I was done with his bullshit. All the anger I kept in, all the comments I ignored, all the times I bit my tongue, all came rushing out in a fury unlike any other._

 _"I changed your shirt, when you woke up covered in your own vomit after how much you drank! I listened to you ball your face off about not getting promoted to Strike Commander TWENTY YEARS AGO! I helped you shave before your meeting one night, because your hand was so FUCKING shaky!" I snapped at him, as he stood there, eyes widening. I wasn't in the mood to be pushed around anymore._

 _"You need to stop talking now Nate! You're doing damage to yourself!" Gabriel urged._

 _"You don't give a shit about me! You don't give a shit about me, because you don't have to! Right, you're just sitting all pretty in your fucking ivory tower, while I'm an insect, crawling on the fucking wall and you come over and squash me! Huh?! Because that makes you feel fucking powerful! Huh?! Because you fucked up your life, and you fucking hate yourself for it!" I shoved him, inches from his face._

 _Gabriel punched me, as I fell back, holding my bleeding nose. "This was your ticket out of the gutter Nathan, and you just blew it! You're done here." He said, and I turned, kicking the door as he closed it behind him. "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! God damnit!" I screamed, cursing him, walking away from the door._

 _He never gave a shit about me. He never did._

 **Yep. This is my longest (and one of the more depressing) chapter I've ever written. I really enjoyed making it, and focusing on how Nathan handles the pressure of fame in Overwatch. I also snuck some foreshadowing and references to Nathan in the later chapters in Deadlocked. Even when he had a night he won't forget with a woman he loves, life still finds a way to fuck him over. I bet you thought I'd give him a break. I oddly enough love tormenting my character. Anyways, thanks for reading. I appreciate it!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Another Heart

2 months later...

Sniffing, feeling the blood run down my throat, I fumbled with the keys to my apartment, struggling with the lock for a moment. When I entered, I removed my hat, placing it on the counter beside the door, stripping out of my black coat. I sighed, unraveling the scarf around my neck, which was coated with blood, and my gloves, which I stuffed into my pockets in order to hide the red liquid on them. The job did not go as planned.

Ever since I left Blackwatch, I didn't waste any time finding another suitable job that matched my skills. I was a car thief, working for a company that sells stolen cars. We disguise the company as a repair shop, which is convincing enough, and rather convenient, allowing us to have spare parts and cars lying around without it being suspicious. The paycheck was damn good. I was starting to get used to having such heavy pockets. I was even getting along with my boss and fellow colleagues, although I rarely worked with them. More than I can say for Blackwatch.

The cut on my cheek was rather large, along with the gash just above my eyebrow. I winced, slipping out of my shoes, tossing them carelessly in the usual corner they ended up in. Rubbing my hands together for warmth, my body began to heat up, the interior of my spacious apartment contrasting with the cold harsh weather outside. I damn near slipped on an ice patch multiple times today. I never was any good with cold weather.

I was angry at myself. I got sloppy, a man caught me trying to break into his car. He was quite the formidable foe, and got a few good hits in. Unluckily enough for him, my Blackwatch training kicked in, and I left him in an alley not too far from a hospital. I wasn't that cruel. I tried to make up for how fucked up the work I was doing by trying to avoid fights and conflict. I guess I was trying to make myself feel better about everything I've done. It was pointless. I'd never correct my wrongs.

Placing my hands on the sink as I stared at the mirror in my bathroom, I looked at myself. I had grown a beard, covering my chin and helping hide my identity as best I could. I didn't want to be associated with my past any longer. Getting to work on my wounds, I tried my best to remember everything she taught me. I refused to speak her name. She needs to be forgotten, just as Jane was. That's the best thing for both of us.

Stitching the gash on my upper brow up, I heard a knock on the door, a familiar voice coming behind it. "Nathan? Everything alright?" Rachel asked, and I laughed lightly, hiding the pain I was in. "I'm fine darling. Rough day at work, a few bumps. Nothing to worry about. I ruined my shirt." I said, looking at the stains covering it. "Let me take a look at it. Sure I can fix it." She assured me, and I smiled at the thought. She cared about me, though I didn't know why. But maybe I didn't need to. I should just be grateful, rather than so suspicious of everyone's intentions. I guess I was just paranoid from everything that's happened.

Rachel was unaware of my actual job, and I planned to keep it that way, wanting to keep her safe from harm. The moment I met her I felt something in my chest I hadn't felt since...since...

I shook my head, dabbing a wet towel against my cheek, wiping away the blood. When I was satisfied with the job, I smiled, realizing how happy I really was. Although my face didn't exactly feel good at the moment, I had many things to compensate it with. I had a large apartment, with a beautiful girlfriend to share it with. We're truly happy, and I intended to keep it that way. I'm not fucking this one up like all the others. This one will be different.

Rachel and I met a few days after I left Blackwatch, and she luckily didn't recognize me. I was in rough shape, and that probably prevented her from recognizing me. Or maybe she just didn't care. Either way I was lucky. She helped me find a good place to sleep, and I thought that would be it. She helped me get back on my feet, and I found a job, and an apartment. But we crossed paths a week afterwards, and she barely knew it was me. But I would've noticed those sharp green eyes anyway, and how kind and sweet she truly was. Her auburn hair stood out amongst a crowd, and I took her out to dinner as thanks. I hopelessly fell for her. By the time the date was over, I was practically begging to take her out on another date. I got what I wanted.

Now here I am, living happily, and as peacefully as someone like me can. Exiting the bathroom, I walked down the hallway that led to the kitchen, where I could see Rachel pouring herself a glass of wine. I smirked, finding her just as beautiful as ever, her ginger hair resting lazily on her shoulders. She wore a loose shirt that hung over her shoulders, the strap of her bra slightly exposed. She only wore underwear just below her shirt, and I didn't mind. We had both got accustomed to each other's body, and rarely wore full clothing around our apartment. She sat down in a stool in front of the counter, looking outside the windows that overlooked the city below. We didn't live too far from my former base. I could still see it if I looked, since we lived in one of the upper floors of my apartment complex.

I slid a hand around her slim waist, startling her. Pulling her in for a quick kiss, I relished in the taste of her lips. "How was work?" She asked as I began to pour myself a glass of Hennessy, and I sighed. "Well I fell down the stairs on my way home. Didn't feel too good." I answered, lying to her. "Ouch. You sure you're okay?" She turned to me, looking at the cut on my cheek. "As long as I've got you I'll be good." I replied, trying to charm my way out of the situation.

"You're so cheesy." She muttered, and I smiled. "And you love it." I responded, laughing at her. She rolled her eyes, planting a kiss on my cheek. Scratching at my chin, hand running over the coarse hair coating my face, I stared outside the window for a moment. Rachel noticed it, bumping me gently. "Huh?" I turned to her, and she narrowed her eyes. "What's with the brooding?" She asked, and I shrugged. "Nothing. Just thinking about stuff." I answered vaguely.

"Like?" I knew that was coming. 'I'm thinking about a woman I fell in love with and how I quit my job at Blackwatch and how I'm trying to run from my past life again and forget everything and I'm lying to you along the way.' I thought, though I didn't say. "It's nothing. Just a few things I went through a while back. Don't really wanna talk about them."

She took that as a cue to not pry anymore, and leave it at that, though I could tell she was curious. I could only pull off this mysterious bad boy thing for so long before she grows tired of it. "You know I missed you at work today." I muttered, and she giggled. "That was random."

"I know. Just thought I'd let you know." I said, and she smirked up at me, standing from her seat, setting her glass down. "Yeah? Well what now lover boy? I mean, we're all alone, and you had a rough day at work. Let me help you relieve some tension." She flirted, and I was easily aroused by it as she bit her lip. The woman pulled off the good girl look so well I forgot how she really was.

"I've got a few ideas on how you can do that." I replied, lifting her up off her feet, hearing her giggle in surprise. We landed in our bed, laughing as she quickly removed her shirt. Our eyes met for a moment, and I became lost in her green hues, placing a hand on her cheek. This moment was different from the others. It was slower. I had gotten used to the playful flirting that I forgot the love I felt behind it. I hesitated to say the next words that came to mind. I had said it so many times to another heart. I had sung the same song to another heart countless times. Hell the situation seemed really familiar.

"I think I love you." Rachel said, and I smiled at that. The stress I felt seemed to disappear, as I pulled her closer. "I love you too." I confessed, and she exhaled deeply, glad I returned those words. This time would be different. I won't make the same mistakes I did. I'm different. She's different.

Later...

I snapped awake in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. I looked to my left, finding Rachel sleeping peacefully beside me. I smiled at the sight, as it assured me I was safe and sound. I tried my best to forget the nightmare about my friends at Blackwatch, and how I betrayed them. The entire time they moved closer and closer, and I couldn't run away. I was paralyzed as they all scolded me for leaving, and branded me a coward. Placing my head in my hands, I looked out the window, staring at the base. I reached for a cigar I kept beside our bed, hand shaking as I lit it and inhaled.

This wasn't the first time I'd woke up like this. And it won't be the last either. I felt the tears begin to burn their way through my eyes, falling down my cheeks. I sobbed softly, careful not to wake Rachel. I couldn't help but cry as I thought of everyone I left. I left my best friends I ever made. I left someone I...someone I loved. I left my family.

But it's not my fault. They pushed me away. I was betrayed by those I thought I could trust. I made the right choice leaving them behind. I had a much better life here. I was happy here. I wasn't risking my life every time I went outside to do my job. I could have a life. A better one. Maybe even a family.

So why, why did I feel this way? Why did I feel so hollow and empty inside? Why did nothing matter to me anymore? Was I really so shallow that anything even remotely close to a normal and peaceful life was unable to satisfy me? Was I constantly craving the thing I claimed to hate the most? Was I craving the danger and allure of working for Blackwatch? What's wrong with me?

Sighing, I took another drag of my cigar, trying to calm my shaken nerves. The moon outside illuminated the rest of my apartment, as I looked at the closet near me. The door was open, and it was where I kept everything I used to own back at base. My gear was still in a bag. My revolvers were gathering dust beside the clothes I hung up. My hat was on the counter, and I felt like it was staring at me. Nothing felt the same anymore. Even when I was with someone I loved, it felt empty. Like it lacked something. Like it wasn't...it wasn't with her. It wasn't with that devil I'd fallen for. Never again I told myself, but I still feel the pain when I think of her. I still want to be with her, as much as I tell myself it's wrong. I guess I'm just a sucker for pain. Always attracted to things I can't have. That I shouldn't have. Things that are bad for me. I had to come to terms with the fact that I'll never be the same again. Overwatch changed me, as much as I hate to admit it. And I know deep down, there is still the urge to go on another mission with those I call family. To change the world. The world could always use more heroes.

That next morning...

Waking up rather slowly, I rose from my pillow in a still tired state, the covers slipping off of my body. I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up and get ready for the day. Pulling my knees up closer to my chest, I turned to the edge of the bed, yawning. Before I could stand up a hand curled around my chest, and I could feel Rachel kiss my cheek, whispering to me. "Morning you." She said sweetly, and I smiled. "Good morning. How long have you been up?" I asked, and she shrugged.

"The whole time really." She answered, and I raised an eyebrow. "No kidding." Rachel smirked, placing a finger on my chin, eyes locking with mine. "Well it's not like you gave me much of a chance to sleep." She teased, as I chuckled, tackling her back into the bed, as she giggled. "Start the morning off the same way?" I bit my lip, and she rolled her eyes. "You wish. I've gotta get up, take a shower." She dashed my dreams, shooting my offer down. I began to pout, trying to guilt her into considering my offer once more. She gave me a quick peck on the lips before hopping out of bed. I watched as she entered the bathroom, considering joining her to save water. Deciding against it, I got out of bed myself, getting into clean clothes.

I didn't care for my appearance at the time, fitting in to some dark blue jeans with a brown belt, and a plain white t shirt. Still feeling groggy, I decided to make myself a cup of coffee, reminding myself of the cafeteria back at base, struggling to shake the memories from my conscience. I whistled a tune to keep my mind occupied as I thought about my schedule for today. I wouldn't have to go to work until around 10:00, so I had time to relax. After repairing some of the stolen cars, I'd probably end up stealing a few more to add to the collection for a bonus in my paycheck. Then come back home as early as possible, and spend the night with Rachel. We were both busy during the day so our time together was usually cuddling up together on the couch. I didn't mind it.

Sipping my coffee, I heard an unexpected knock at my door, setting my mug down on the counter, wondering as to who it could be. Swinging the door open nonchalantly, closing my eyes as I tried to wake up, I made out two people I wasn't expecting at my door.

Swiftly blinking to make sure I wasn't seeing things, I noticed Jesse smile. I missed that smile. The woman beside him brought both joy and pain as I noticed her bright smile. Smiling like nothing ever happened.

No. No this wasn't happening. She wasn't back. She couldn't be. I left her behind. Even now I still feel something for that smile, those blue eyes staring back at me. After all the heartbreak and misery I still love her. I left this life behind, and I intended for it to stay that way. I couldn't just go back. No. These two needed to leave. Rachel was better for me. I was safe here. Things were relatively normal. Yet again, the crave I felt for adventure and danger got the better of me. Shaking my head, I did what was best for me before I did something stupid.

"I'm sorry but no." I spoke softly, closing the door with my shoulder, but a hand stopped it, preventing me from denying my former squad mates entry. Grunting, I let go of the door, stepping back as they both entered. "What the hell are you doing here?!" I whispered, but the tone of my voice still got my urgency across. They both seemed shocked by my resistance to them barging into my home. "Good to see you too Nate." Jesse grinned, setting his hat down on the counter. That was my spot. That was where I placed mine. "Well I didn't exactly ask for visitors!" I replied, the same urgency behind my voice. Angela tried to offer me a reassuring look, trying to place her hand on my arm. I shook it off before she could say anything. Jesse noticed, though he didn't remark on it.

"Well, would ya believe me if I said we missed you?" He joked, and I rolled my eyes. "In a perfect world. I know you both want something from me." I replied, and Angela frowned. "How've you been doing since you left?" She asked, and I scowled. "Not too bad, not that either of you care. Now please cut the bullshit and get to the chase." I urged, and Jesse clicked his tongue. "Straight to the point I see. Well, we've got a proposal from Blackwatch." The word sent me in a rage I couldn't stop. I bit my tongue, preventing the choice words that originally came to my mind from escaping. Never again. That was a bad place. Somewhere I can't go back to. I promised myself I wouldn't be foolish enough to even think about joining them again. "No." I interrupted him before he could begin speaking again.

"Nathan, I know you ain't exactly leave on good terms with Gabriel, but we're not all like that. It's not the same without you partner. I miss you. Lena does too, hell even Genji said some things about you. Couldn't understand his mumbo jumbo in Japanese, but it sounded respectful 'nuff." Jesse said, and I chuckled at that. I missed them too. I had to admit. I missed my best friends.

"Yeah, maybe in a perfect life I could come back." I spoke up, and I heard Rachel call out from the shower as the water shut off. I gulped. "Nate? Who're you speaking to?" She asked, and I held up a finger to my mouth, signaling for the others to be quiet. Jesse smirked, stopping himself from laughing. I suppose he realized I never lost my way with the ladies. Much to Angela's dismay. Not that I cared.

"Uh nothing darling! On the phone with my boss! Talking about some Christmas party!" I lied, as I heard her reply quickly. "Oh! Tell him I'll be able to help next month! I've always loved Christmas!" She said sweetly. I laughed, happy it worked. "I'll be sure to tell him."

Turning back to the others, Angela avoided my eyes, clearing her throat awkwardly. "Guys, you have to go. That isn't my life anymore. I'm happy now. I know we had some good times, but maybe we should let it go. Maybe it's better off this way." I inadvertently spoke to Angela in a way, referring to my new girlfriend.

"Nathan it's important." Jesse said, seriousness for once coming from him. "We need you. Its Deadlock. We need everyone we can get, and all the information we can have. We both know the infrastructure better than anyone, and we can help take them down. It would be just like old times." He said, and I frowned, thinking about the offer. "I do miss those days." I admitted, still uneasy about the entire thing though.

"You won't be gone long. It'll just be a week. Maybe some help conditioning you for the mission. It has been a while." Angela said, and I scoffed. "Trust me, I've got plenty on my plate for action in my job. I haven't lost my touch." I assured them of my ability. She seemed to smile at that. I felt the urge to smile as well, feeling something deep down in me stir in response. Denying myself that right, I noticed Rachel exit the bathroom, only wrapped in a towel to cover her body. Her ginger hair still soaking wet, her eyes widened when she noticed Jesse and Angela.

"Dr. Ziegler?" She asked, recognizing her. It didn't help when she noticed the Blackwatch insignia on Jesse's shoulder. Her suspicions rose, as I acted quickly to put an end to them. "Uh yeah, these are my friends. We're just talking about some things." I tried to explain, struggling. "Howdy, we're just speaking with your boyfriend about some things. He's not in trouble we promise." Jesse drawled, tipping his hat. Rachel raised an eyebrow, confused. "Nathan, what did you do?" She whispered to me as I approached, and I hushed her. "I'll explain it all later, alright? Just go for now, I've gotta deal with this. I'll see you later, no?" I said, placing my hands on her hips, assuring her nothing was wrong. A lie, but not the first one I've told her. She seemed hesitant at first, but sighed.

"Okay. Just be careful. I expect a good story later." She smiled, looking back at Angela. I grinned. "You'll get one, I promise you that." I kissed her, placing a hand on her cheek. When we broke, I smiled, and she returned the same, leaving me to my former colleagues. My eyes met Angela's, as she seemed saddened to see that. 'She had her chance.' I told myself, though the familiar sting of guilt still struck me.

"Well, seems you haven't lost your knack for keeping your past a secret." Jesse mocked me, and I crossed my arms, unamused. "When the hell do I need to come with you? I know you're not going to take no for an answer, and I figure the sooner I agree the quicker this will be over with."

The two seemed confused by my answer, but didn't question it, instead answering me. "Reyes wants you immediately, but we'll say you thought about it today and let you come in tomorrow. Let you say goodbye to your lady friend." Jesse muttered, and I nodded. "Who's going with?"

"You'll be accompanying us, along with Reyes and Genji. We've assembled a strike team best at infiltrating the headquarters, so we can take them out from the inside. I'm glad you're coming with us." Angela smiled at me, but I didn't return the same. I wouldn't forget what happened so easily. And I wouldn't like being with Reyes. But I suppose I should've expected this. Overwatch never was one to let it's agents go easily. They played for keeps.

"Don't think this makes us buds again. I just want this done. I've got a good life here. I'm not losing it." I made sure they understood where they stood, although Jesse could sense the bit of happiness at the thought of another mission with my friends. He didn't say anything about it though, instead offering me a look only I could decipher.

'Welcome back, Nathan.' It said.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Back in Black

 _I let a disgruntled sigh escape my lips as I slipped into my gear. It felt ancient on me, the locks and buckles feeling cold to the touch. I had dusted it off before hand, taking a good hard look at the leather, along with the cloth that flowed around my shoulder. Placing my gloves on my hands, I felt weird. It felt odd to be in this uniform once more. I originally planned on burning it long ago. I struggled to figure out if that was out of pure laziness, being forgetful, or purposely leaving it the way it was, blindly hoping this day would come._

 _Lacking the time to answer that question, I looked at the mirror once more, analyzing the man staring back at me, his eyes peering into mine, peeling back the layers, looking at who I truly am. A shell of a man. A broken man, with nothing left to look forward to in his sad existence. Thinking for a moment, I began to mentally prepare myself for what was to come. I'm returning back to Blackwatch. Just one last mission, I've sworn to myself. One last time. But was that really the case? Had I fooled myself into believing it was so?_

 _Grabbing the razor near my mirror, I analyzed the blade before me, contemplating shaving. On a normal occasion I wouldn't think twice about it. I'd done it plenty of times before. So why was this time so hard? Why did it feel like I was shedding my skin and becoming who I once was again? The beard I had grown was a way to protect myself. A way to hide my identity, even from myself it seems._

 _With experienced hands, I shaved the beard I had grown, feeling the coarse hairs that had gathered on my face tumble to the sink below me, a familiar and recognizable face staring back at me. When I was finished, I ran a hand along the smooth finish, feeling a bit like myself again. An overwhelming sense of nostalgia washed over me as I smiled, finding myself happy with my appearance. Gabriel had always told me I couldn't pull off a beard. Angela told me she enjoyed my clean shaven face._

 _The names seemed like ghosts from a life that passed decades ago, to be forgotten. This uniform felt so familiar, yet so mysterious and uncomfortable at the same time. The Blackwatch insignia met my eye, as I realized who I was becoming once more. I was Nathan Parker. As much as I hate that idea, this is necessary. I must be him. Be who I once was._

 _Opening the door, finding Rachel waiting diligently outside, her eyes widened when she noticed me. I had explained to her what I was doing, and that I needed to help Overwatch out one last time. I didn't give her the full story, yet she seemed satisfied with what I told her. One last time. That was what I told her. I'd be back soon. The mission wasn't dangerous, I had lied._

 _Her green eyes seemed to study me endlessly, as if to not forget this moment. I offered a smile, and she returned it, placing a kiss on my lips, hand traveling to my chest, tugging on the cloth and leather. "You look good." She complimented me, as I chuckled. "I aim to please." I replied, and she giggled. "Well you hit your mark, heroman." She teased me, as I frowned, confused by the sudden nickname. "Heroman?" I raised an eyebrow, and she shrugged. "Just came to mind. You look like one of those heroes."_

 _That statement echoed in my head, as I remembered everything I had been through. 'I was.' I thought, visions of my time in Blackwatch flooding my mind. My reunion with Jesse, when Gabriel took me in. My first sparring session with Gabriel. My first time meeting Genji. My first mission. When Angela and I first met. Training with Lena. Learning from Captain Amari. My first time meeting Fareeha. My competition with Jack. The way Angela would giggle. Our first kiss together. Jesse and I sticking by one another, having the other's back. Reinhardt saving my ass on my third mission. Gabriel and I sharing a drink. Being labeled the hero of Numbani, savior of countless lives. Dancing with Angela on the rooftops. Showing Fareeha how to shoot. Impressing Genji. The first moment I realized I had a family there._

 _And with those wonderful moments, came the moments I was unlucky enough to remember in detail. Gabriel writing that paper about me. Angela breaking my heart. Being forced to join Overwatch or leave. Jesse calling me a drunken waste of space. Lena smacking a drink out of my hand. Gabriel almost beating me to death. Captain Amari scolding me for standing up for what I believe in. Nearly dying in Numbani, and getting little credit for the work I'd done. Losing most of my friends there. Leaving Angela in tears as I left it all behind. Maybe this was a mistake._

 _The silence was enough to make me feel insane, as I snapped to reality, despair in my eyes. Rachel pulled me into a hug, shushing me. "You be careful, okay?" She said, and I nodded, desperately trying to stop myself from crying. I was strong now. This was the last time. My last mission. "I'll be careful. I promise."_

I shook my head, struggling to clear my head of distractions. We were flying by in a train going by at around 160 miles per hour. Although it wasn't one of the fancy ones I'd seen on holovids, it was rather spacious, though most of it was taken up by crates storing tons of weapons. The only thing I didn't like, was that we were hundreds of feet from solid ground. My fear of heights was not helping me calm down. Nothing but solid rocks were below us. The mission was a huge success, which made me more and more suspicious of how smoothly it all went. It wasn't likely that we were finished here.

The base we infiltrated was all but abandoned, only a few gang members even there to defend the countless crates of weapons stored inside. We quickly ambushed them, and they were easily taken out. They barely put up a fight. Most would be happy with the outcome. Not me. No, I knew Deadlock. They didn't give up easily. They were stubborn, and were like a pit bull. When they got a hold of something, they never let go. I've had trouble finding any kind of relaxation ever since the mission. I felt eyes on us, though I didn't know from where. Or who.

I kicked my feet up, placing my hands behind my head, trying to shut my eyes in hopes of falling asleep. But the other agents with me had other ideas, Jesse ranting about something. I couldn't of been bothered to try and listen to it, instead trying, and failing, to block it all out. I kept to myself most of the mission, and especially the train ride back to our rendezvous point, where Strike Commander Morrison would be waiting with a dozen aircrafts to withdraw the crates of weapons and dispose of them back at base. We were supposed to arrive in a little over an hour. Just one more hour, and I can go back home.

'This is your home.' The thought came to me, and I sighed, having more trouble with my emotions than Deadlock Gang members. To be honest I couldn't quite tell what I was feeling. When I first saw them all together earlier today I felt so many emotions at once, everything flooding me all too quickly. Jesse had waved, which I returned, and we shared a quick hug. Genji nodded at me, smiling. Gabriel on the other hand only snorted, crossed his arms, and got to work, leaving me to the others. I couldn't blame him for ignoring me. We didn't exactly leave on good terms. Angela smiled, though I could sense it's insincerity, along with the pain in her eyes when she saw me. I suppose I've gotten better at hiding pain than she has. It comes with experience.

Grunting, I stood up, slightly annoyed at how rowdy they were being. It was as if they wanted me to confront them about it. Walking towards the noise, I opened the door, finding Genji and Jesse hunched over a table. Not just any table. They were busy playing table tennis. I rolled my eyes, surprised Genji would even take part in this. I suppose he still has his humorous side. More than I remembered at least.

They locked eyes, ignoring my entrance. Jesse let out a shriek, like some terrible form of a battle cry, before swinging downwards, the small white ball crashing against the table with a crack. "Back at you." Genji said, using his skills with a sword to deflect the ball back at him, sending it careening into Jesse's nose. I chuckled in amusement, finding it rather funny to see Jesse in pain. He held his nose, muttering choice words under his breath, careful to not let his opponent hear. "Nice work Genji." I commented, and Jesse growled, as they both noticed me.

"Whatever. He's cheatin'!" He exclaimed, and Genji narrowed his eyes at the accusations. "How?" He asked, and Jesse shrugged, stumbling over his words as blood poured out of his nose. "I don't exactly know. But the point still goes to me!" He replied, and Genji scoffed. "That makes no sense." He said, but Jesse leaned against the table. "Yes it does! You're the one who hit me with the ball. Point goes to me, because you didn't hit the table first." Jesse explained, and I came to the realization that he, for once, had a point.

"Does Gabriel know you two are doing this?" I asked, and they both stopped, looking at me. "I'm not gonna tell him, just wonderin'." I held my hands up, surrendering. They both eased up, Genji chuckling. "We're simply relaxing after a hard days work. Nothing wrong with that, right Jesse?" Jesse nodded in agreement, letting an amused smile form. "Yessiree." I rolled my eyes, beginning to walk by them.

"You wanna play a round?" Jesse offered, nose still bleeding. I shook my head. "Nah. Gonna get some fresh air. You two have fun with your...relaxation." I smiled, and they both laughed. "Have fun." Genji said as I closed the door behind me. As I made my way outside, I could hear Jesse yell in frustration. I laughed to myself.

The wind blew hard as we went past, and I held my hat down to my head, keeping it from flying off. Climbing up a ladder with one hand, I arrived atop the train, standing on uneasy legs, finding my balance as the wind almost knocked me off. Even when relaxing I felt the need to add some danger to it. I suppose I really am addicted to it.

Much to my surprise, I found Reyes sat down between two of the connected trams on the train, leaning back against the metal roof, his hoodie flapping in the wind. I contemplated leaving, but I went against my better judgement and gut feeling, and approached him. I sat down beside him, and he took a look at me, before taking a sip out of his bottle of whiskey. My eyes met his for a moment, and I sighed, taking my hat off and placing it beside my lap.

Gabriel offered his bottle, not saying a word, and I took it, taking a quick swig of the alcohol, feeling it burn it's way down my throat, the warmth eventually reaching my stomach. Handing it back to him, he took another sip. The sound of the rails and the wind violently passing by was the only noise. Just silence between us. But it seemed understanding. That we both sat in slight admiration of one another, though too proud to let the other know that. That we both respected one another, and although our friendship took quite the beating, we could still tolerate one another.

"You did good kid." Gabriel grumbled, interrupting the silence between us, and I was surprised that he spoke. His voice offered little emotion though, but for a moment, I could almost sense remorse in his tone. Did he regret what happened between us? Or was it something else entirely? I ignored the questions in my head, grunting in response. "Thanks sir."

He turned to me, dark eyes analyzing my face, the scars seeming to move with his eyes, as the ones along his mouth curved upwards into a smile. "Sir?" He asked, and I shrugged. "You may have joined up with Blackwatch for one last mission, but I didn't give you permission to go all formal on me." He said, and I chuckled. "Well I'm glad to see you can still keep your ass alive without me." I responded, and he snorted, drinking more of his whiskey.

"How's life outside of Blackwatch?" Gabriel started another topic, and I shrugged. "Not too shabby Gabe. Found myself a job, nice apartment, and things are looking up." I said, and he nodded. "I hear you've gotten yourself a girlfriend." He muttered, and I nodded. "Yeah. We met a few days after I left. She takes good care of me that one."

A silent moment followed, as he stared off at the places passing by. His next question caught me off guard. "Do you love her?" He asked, and I gulped, becoming nervous. "I don't know. Maybe." I answered, not entirely sure myself to be honest. "What about Angela?" Gabe inquired, and I raised an eyebrow. How come he was so curious all of a sudden? Where did this spark of interest come from? I began to wonder about his true intentions behind this seemingly innocent conversation between us.

"What of her? She's a good friend, and a terrific doctor-"

"Cut the bullshit kid, I know how you felt about her. How you still feel about her." He interrupted me before I could finish, and I sighed. "It's in the past. We didn't really part on good terms." I explained, and he let a "hmmm" escape him. "You still love her."

I coughed. "Excuse me?" I asked, growing irritated by his seemingly endless amount of questions and comments. "You heard me Nate. It's better for the both of you if you admit it. Hiding behind other people and concerning yourself with trivial things is useless. You're simply delaying the inevitable."

"Who the hell are you to tell me how I feel?!" I snapped at him, and he growled, not backing down. "I'm your friend! And I just so happen to be the one who's honest with you, and calls you out on your bullshit! I also happen to be the one who is stopping you from wasting your life!" Gabriel spat, and I clenched my fists. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" I yelled, being even louder than the howling wind around us.

"I know exactly what I'm talking about! I used to be just like you! I never wanted to be a commander in my early years. I was just a frontline soldier. Politics were never my thing. Hell they still aren't. I was like you and I preferred to actually get shit done and get results. But sometimes you have to step up. Sometimes you've gotta do someone else's job for them. And yeah, you don't always get credit for it. But isn't this chance you've been given enough? What more could you want?"

I frowned, beginning to realize he might've been right. He had a fair point, one I couldn't ignore. "I know this shit is unfair. But I want what's best for you. You may not see it that way, but it's true. You can still come back." Gabriel offered, and I considered the chance. I could go back to Blackwatch. I could be with my friends again. I could fix all the shit I've done wrong. Clear my name. What did I have to lose?

'Your girlfriend, your job, your apartment, your opportunity for a normal life! There is plenty to lose!' I thought to myself, my feelings once again conflicting with one another. I chuckled to myself, oddly amused by all of it. Gabriel looked at me, and I exhaled.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do today, tomorrow, or the rest of my life." I admitted, smiling at Gabe, finding comfort in that fact for an inexplicable reason. I couldn't quite explain it.

"It's not too late. You still have a chance."

I stood up, picking my hat up, placing it back on my head. "Thanks for the pep talk. I'll think about it." I said, leaving Gabriel to himself, descending back down the same ladder I used to climb up. Gabriel was right, wasn't he? Man I hated it when he was.

Heading back inside the train, I headed to the tram in front of Jesse and Genji, almost in hopes of finding Angela somewhere. As much as I hated to admit it, she still meant a lot to me, and I at least needed to address my feelings. It was the only thing I could do to fix this.

I soon found her, and a lump quickly formed in my throat, and I found myself unable to find the words to say. Angela was busy tinkering with her Valkyrie suit, and a part of me didn't want to intrude. She deserved her privacy and time to focus on her work. Besides, maybe I shouldn't bring what happened between us up. I mean, this is our last mission. I'm done after this. At least that's what I told myself. But sometimes even I had no clue how I was feeling.

"Hey." I said, instantly regretting it, as she turned to me, those eyes showing the same pain they showed before. "Hello, Nathan." She said, trying to be as kind as possible, though I could hear the sadness in her voice upon seeing me. I swallowed nervously, approaching her slowly, leaning over her shoulder to watch her work. I found myself lost in the way her fingers could pull off the most delicate and precise of movements, her brows furrowed as she focused on her work. I admired Angela's work ethic, and envied her in a way. How could I have been so cruel to her? That question seemed to trouble me, and I struggled to find a reasonable explanation. Perhaps there wasn't one.

"I see you're still a workaholic." I teased, and she let out a satisfied sigh as she set her suit down on the table in front of her, reclining back into her seat. I fought the urge to smile. It was still as good as ever to see her. I sat down beside her on a separate chair, trying to decide on what to say. If there was even anything I could say to make this less awkward.

"So, um, I uh, I missed you." I muttered, nearly smacking myself for saying that out loud. I'm a fucking idiot. "You too, Nathan. It's good to work with you again, although it's only temporary." She said, seeming to remind herself of that. "Yeah. I forgot what a good doctor you are." I complimented her skills, as she smiled. "I didn't." 'Just as cocky as I remembered though.' I thought, amused by her reply to the compliment.

Angela giggled at that, crossing her legs, placing her hands in her lap. She wore a dark grey shirt, along with athletic pants. Her hair rested on her shoulders, as she seemed to be unwinding a bit after our admittedly easy mission. It seemed I was the only one on edge about how simple the mission was after all. I kept those worrisome thoughts to myself, trying to convince myself as well as others that I was just being paranoid.

"Angie," I began, hesitating, struggling with how to word this. "I'm sorry. For everything. For what I said. For what I did. For leaving like I did. I'm an asshole. If-if I had a fucking clue, as to how to go back in time or-or change the past I would. I-I don't know what to tell you. All I can say is I'm sorry. Ju-just...just tell me what to do."

She stared at me for what seemed like an eternity, the silence after my apology concerning me more than anything. "You mustn't apologize. You've done nothing wrong. I-I realize I must've made you uncomfortable, with how I acted. I was rash, and I wasn't thinking about how you may have felt. I was being selfish. When I said what I did, about you and your history with...with women, it was cruel." She apologized, and I smiled at her, shaking my head. "You weren't wrong." I replied, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"That's besides the point. Perhaps we were both out of line. That night after the event, what we had was...unprofessional. I wasn't thinking straight. I don't know if it was just blowing off steam, or something else. What I do know is that I'm sorry, and I hope we can be friends."

I smiled, hiding the pain I felt. I still loved her, more than a friend. What happened that night meant a lot to me, but perhaps I misread the situation. Angela might've just been blowing off steam. She was probably just stressed out. I guess I was just being stupid, and needlessly emotional. My stupid brain always seemed to get attached to anyone who even barely directs their attention towards me. I should be thankful I can even be friends with the woman anyways, after everything I said.

"Yeah. Friends." I agreed, biting my tongue. Why was I so disappointed in this outcome? Isn't this what I wanted?

We both stood, and we shook on it, our eyes locked. I didn't notice that our hands were still together as I became lost in the sea of blue that were her eyes, unknowingly inching closer towards her. My eyes flicked down to our hands, still interlocked, then back to Angela. 'Fuck it.'

We both came together in a rough and passionate embrace, kissing, as we crashed into the wall behind us. I ignored the sound of glass shattering on the ground, my hand traveling to her waist, my hat slipping off of my head. Breathing heavily, we stopped for a moment, my eyes meeting hers. I wanted this, but at the same time I didn't. I had never been more confused in my life. Before I could think about it more, our lips collided again, little space between our bodies as we began to undress one another. I didn't hesitate to unbuckle my belt, tossing it to the ground. The black cloak that hung around my shoulders fell to the floor, and we both fell to the floor. For a moment, there wasn't anything in the world but us.

A loud bang sent us unwillingly spiraling back into reality, as we both stopped. Our eyes met as the bang hit once more. Sitting up, I reached for my belt, withdrawing the revolvers from their holsters. Angela stood up, quickly dressing herself once more, and I ignored the annoyance I felt for being interrupted. But I quickly realized it wasn't some random bang.

Gunshots. Quickly diving down, tackling Angela to the floor, we dodged the bullets, as the shattered glass from the windows fell upon us. Peeking out the window when the shots stopped firing, I noticed the helicopter outside, agents rappelling down to the roof of the train. I soon recognized the Talon insignia. That was why the base was so empty. Talon probably broke in and killed many before we arrived. And they were here for the weapons, and a few precious Overwatch agents. If they killed us it would be a knockout blow to our organization.

Grabbing my hat, I then got into my gear and went outside, guns ready. I could hear footsteps above us, before running down to the trams behind us. We had to group back up with Jesse and the others. My mind flashed to Gabriel. He was up top. "Fuck me." I muttered. Turning back to Angela, I handed her one of my revolvers. "Get to Jesse and the others! I'm going up top to get Gabriel! Stay safe!" I ordered, and she nodded, running off towards the others. I smiled, before beginning to ascend the ladder once more today.

Panic rose in my chest when I noticed the numerous Talon agents surrounding Gabriel. Quickly drawing my gun, I fired, hitting three of them swiftly. Their bodies plummeted down into the rocks below. They soon turned to me, which gave Gabriel a chance to break free of the choke hold one of them had him in, as he quickly slammed him into the roof of the train, before kicking him off. He charged the others, as we pinned them against one another. I shot two of them, as Gabriel broke the arm of one, before sending him flying off the train. He screamed the whole way down. My eyes met my former commander, and I remembered how well we worked together.

We smiled, but our celebration was cut short as one of the agents held a detonator in his hand, and with his final breath he pressed it, the entire tram exploded, the rails going up in flames. Gabriel was knocked off, but I quickly jumped for him, reaching out to grab him. I just barely caught him in time, saving him from a rather unsavory demise. "Gotcha!" I yelled, pulling him up, groaning as I did so. He rolled onto his back when he got back up, breathing heavily. "I owe ya one." He said, and I smiled. "More than one."

As we stood back up, we rushed over to the others, feeling the train begin to derail, becoming shaky. This wasn't gonna end well. Another explosion went off, the flames rising up into the sky. They were trying to send the train off the rails. We had to get off now.

I picked up the pace, noticing Jesse and Genji fighting off a few agents, with Angela supporting them. I smiled, about to hop the distance between trams and get to them. As soon as we were all together we could all make it off of this train. Though I had no clue about where we could go, other than jumping and praying we land on something soft. We may have to make do with that. Before I could jump, I saw another explosion, this one destroying the rails underneath the train, as it began to tip over the edge, flipping. Genji made a run for it, dashing to me, as I caught him.

Angela and Jesse jumped, but I quickly assessed the situation, knowing full well they wouldn't make it. "Genji, catch my legs!" I said, as he frowned, but I didn't wait for a response, jumping towards them, stretching my arms out as far as I could. Jesse reached out, gripping my arm tightly, his legs flailing in fear. Angela did the same, though she was more comfortable with heights, becoming used to them from her experience in the Valkyrie suit. Our eyes met, as before we were crushed under the tram as it flipped, Genji caught my leg, holding tightly. Jesse's toes just barely missed the rails. He yelped like a dog.

"Nope! Nope! Nope! So much nope!" Jesse yelled, closing his eyes, holding his hat just as tightly as my wrist as I held on to him. Genji and Gabriel struggled to pull us up, as by the time we all got on the train, we heard another explosion, this one ahead of us. Lacking the time to rest or realize how insane this all was, I looked ahead, noticing that in the distance the trams were falling off of the rails, a gap having been made from the explosion. "Shit!" I yelled, running forward, hopping down to the metal that connected our tram and the others. I quickly tried to separate the two, resorting to shooting the lock that held them together. With a spark and a screech, the two began to distance themselves from one another.

I smirked in satisfaction, before realizing I was still royally fucked. The trams behind us continued pushing us forward, and we would end up falling off the rails from the momentum. "Fuck me." I muttered once more, climbing back up. The others stared at me, all of them confused, and panicking. "Nathan! The carts behind us are still pushing us forward! We're gonna fall off!" Angela said, and I scowled. "Yeah no shit!" I replied, the situation rather obvious. "Well what do we do?!" Genji demanded, and I closed my eyes, looking at the gap. On the other end of it was the front of the train, which was slowly falling off the rails, the end of one of the trams falling off. We had one chance. If we missed the jump we died. No pressure, right?

"We jump!" I said, and Jesse shook his head. "Fuck that!" He responded, but quickly realized he had no choice. 'Jump and pray we land on something soft.' I thought, realizing how likely it was we died here. As the cart we were on ran off the edge and into the river below us, I leaped towards the part of the train still hanging off, nearly missing it, my hands just barely holding onto the metal that kept us alive. 'Don't look down.' I told myself, then doing the opposite of what I told myself. "Fuck!" I yelled, fear running through my body, heart pumping quickly, hearing Jesse scream in terror as he jumped. "SHIIIIIIIT!"

I tried to pull up, before the metal railing I desperately clung to began to slip, the screws holding it to the train coming loose. Feeling a sudden weight grip my ankles, I grunted, the screws starting to fall down to the river below. Then even more weight, as I looked down to find all five of us swaying in the wind, holding on to each other for dear life. "NATHAN IF YOU LET GO I WILL KILL YOU!" I heard Gabriel shout, as I began to sweat, my arms beginning to give out from all the weight.

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!" I replied, my mind becoming distracted as I tried to figure out how that would work. I'd probably die when we hit the water. "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE WILL YOU JUST PULL US UP!" Jesse snapped, fear in his voice. Grunting, I pulled, feeling like the weight of the world rested on my ability to pull up, as I got up high enough to put a shaky foot on the edge of the train, gritting my teeth as I pulled my leg up, pulling the others up with me. Genji quickly grabbed my arm, pulling up, bringing a frightened Angela up with him. Even Gabriel looked like he just shit himself as he held onto the railing for dear life, even after already making it up the train. Jesse was the last one, clinging to Gabriel's ankle, breathing heavily.

We all sat there for a moment, all of us breathing heavily, thankful the other held on long enough to keep us alive. Angela stood up, shaky legs struggling to support her weight. I leaned against the railing, unable to stand. Jesse's eyes were still wide open, his chest moving up and down frantically. Genji sighed. Gabriel was angry as always.

I smiled, finding it rather amusing. Angela glared at me. "You enjoyed that?!" Her eyes widened, and I laughed. "We made it didn't we?"

As if on cue, and the day couldn't of gotten any worse, the tram began to plummet, the metal screeching as the rails gave out from all the weight. I suddenly noticed the fact that we in reality did not make it. Gripping my hat, I looked down once more.

"Oh fuck me."

 **There we go! I finally put some humor in this story again! I felt we needed some over the top action to really get the story moving, and get some nice character development in. Nathan has a big choice ahead of him, as he realizes he may be back in black for good.**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Remember Who You Are

My body crashed against the deep river below me, the waves swallowing me underneath them, the currents tugging me deeper and deeper. I struggled against it, barely able to ignore the pain enough to keep from passing out. Reaching out for my hat as it fell further and further into the depths, I snatched it with my free hand, before feeling my spine crack against a hard rock behind me. I screamed in agony, but the water drowned all sound out, the cold water rushing through my lungs, and I began to claw for oxygen.

A large shadow passed overhead, landing right in front of me, what was left of the train crashing down into the water in a large splash, the rough entry sending ripples my way, pushing me back. I surfaced, gasping for air, struggling to keep myself afloat, looking at the crash that still hung above us, the wreck igniting the cold air, smoke rising into the now setting sun.

Swimming ashore, I crawled on my hands and knees, coughing up what felt like the entire river, collapsing into the sand. Catching my breath, I looked around, finding myself alone, noticing no one else had surfaced. My eyes widened, realizing the peril my friends were in, as I quickly stood, ignoring the pain in my back, diving back into the water, searching through the wreckage as it began to sink.

My lungs were beginning to give out just as soon as I spotted a flicker of light. Looking once more, I recognized the familiar shade, spotting Genji from the glow of his cybernetic body, quickly dragging him up with me. Pulling him ashore, I began to try and wake him, smacking his body helplessly. Gripping the sides of his helmet, I heard the hiss of the locks separating, as his face was revealed, jet black hair matted down to his forehead, soaking wet. His scarred face didn't seem to move, until his eyes snapped open, staring back at me in shock. I stepped back, as he coughed, water pouring out.

I didn't have time to speak with him, rushing to get the others. My muscles begged me to stop these fruitless efforts, but I refused to give up on those I cared about so quickly. This was supposed to be MY last mission, not theirs. Once more pushing myself to save the others, I began to wonder if I'd find my friends amidst all the chaos. I had no time to waste bickering with myself, forcing myself to focus on finding them.

Noticing two shapes crushed under a large piece of metal from one of the trams, I recognized Jesse and Angela, both of them unconscious, rendered unable to save themselves. Pushing the metal back, I grabbed both of them, trying to keep my mind off of the blood pouring out of both of them. Grunting, I laid them both down beside a still recovering Genji.

Jesse had a large gash going across his chest, and another piece of what seemed like glass stuck in his side. I ripped it out of him, not worrying about being gentle, then tearing a piece of cloth from my gear off to wrap around his wounds. It wouldn't hold for long, but it would have to do, as I used Angela's teachings on how to stop major bleeding.

Turning back to Angela, I ran a gentle hand along her forehead, which was bleeding profusely. Her clothes were torn, and she was already bruised from the crash. A sudden fear struck me harder than any other weapon could, as the thought hit me like a freight train. Gabriel was still missing.

Standing back up, I refused to take my own well being into consideration once more, diving in the water with a ferocity unmatched, rushing to find my commander. Well, my ex-commander. Did it really fucking matter at this point? Probably not, but my mind couldn't help but race as my weary eyes scanned the floor of the river, searching for any sign of the man. God damnit why did everything have to go so wrong? I'd love it if for once a mission went perfectly.

Glistening in the water, the sun reflected off of Gabriel's boots. Those ugly boots. For once I was glad he wore them. I could recognize him, a large crate crushing him, holding him down. He was unconscious, life slowly draining from him. I gathered what little strength I had left, pushing the heavy crate, unable to make it budge even the slightest.

'I'm too late.' I thought, feeling as though my chest would burst, my head feeling like an overripe melon ready to burst from the pressure. 'It's never too late.' Gabriel's voice echoed, as I shoved the crate with all my might, toppling it over, allowing me to pull him free. My legs were giving out as I inched closer to the surface, lungs begging for oxygen.

Gasping for air, I barely pulled him out in time, throwing him to the sand below us, as I collapsed, exhausted, every bit of energy gone. I rolled Gabriel over, checking his pulse, placing my fingers under his jaw, right along his neck. My heart sank when there was no steady drum of a heartbeat, only silence. "No no no no no no no." I scrambled, beginning to push down with both hands on his chest, struggling to remember everything Angela taught me. "C'mon." I muttered.

"Get your ass up." I pushed harder, though my efforts gained no response from him, his body pumping up and down each time I pushed, limbs flopping around, lifeless. There was no way he was dead. No fucking way. I refused to accept I pulled his ass out of the water just for him to be dead. After everything life threw at the man, he died on a mission like this?! He'd been through ten times worse! He wasn't dead. Gabriel didn't die.

"Oh come on! Get the fuck up Gabe! That's an order!" I yelled, no response to go off of. "You don't fucking die! Yo-you just come back with another scar. Ya...ya said so yourself. So quit fucking around an' get up already!" I said, smiling, trying to comfort myself, though my mind was beginning to accept the fact that he was probably gone. "It's not fucking funny!" I bellowed, pushing even harder, Gabriel still completely gone.

Gabriel wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. I saved his dumbass. This was my last mission, and I'd be damned if I let him die on it.

I stopped, giving up, sobbing into my hands. "No no no no no." I shook my head, staring at his body. I gripped his hand, trying to shake life back into him, or conjure up some sort of response. He needed to wake up. I was finally making things right between us. Gabriel couldn't be dead. He means so much to me. He was one of the first guys here to believe in me. He saw something in me no one else did. He gave me this chance. He's changed my life. Yet I've treated him so horribly. I snapped at him countless times, blaming him for things he took no part in. And even still he stood by me, and was willing to give me another shot at this Overwatch thing. I wasn't worthy of his treatment of me.

Only now was it clear Gabriel was trying to help me the whole time. He took credit for my work in Numbani because he knew I didn't want to be a part of Overwatch. He saw so much potential in me, as I wasted it all away, drinking. Afterwards, even when I destroyed his reputation, he tried to prevent me from being fired by sending me to Overwatch. Even now he still helped me. Gabriel has been the ally I never knew I had. He had my back more than anyone. And I let him down. The one father figure I've had in my life, gone, his life stripped away. And it was my fault. I should've seen it coming. I should've warned the others. I knew something was up, yet I didn't tell them. I fooled myself into believing it was just paranoia. And now Gabriel died because of me.

In one final attempt to wake him, I brought my fist down into his stomach with as much force as possible, crying out in despair, desperate to save my commander.

Gabriel's eyes snapped open, his body heaving up buckets of water, as he rolled over to his hands and knees, retching, the liquids pouring out from his body. He coughed and gagged the whole time, as I laughed in amazement, holding myself back from hugging him. He was alive. He was alive. His eyes met mine when he looked over at me, and I smiled.

"Did we really just do that?" Gabriel muttered, coughing once more, and I laughed. "I think so Commander. I think so." I replied, collapsing onto my back, exhausted. I stared up at the sky, the moon rising in the distance, everything quiet for once. I could still hear the distant fire above us, as it crackled, burning what remained of the train. Looking over at the others, Genji had fell unconscious once again, and Jesse and Angela were holding on. The makeshift bandages I made from my uniform kept them both alive. The most difficult thing now was keeping myself awake, my eyelids as heavy as the weight of the world.

I clutched my side, wincing, only now noticing the wounds I sustained. The black of my uniform had turned a dark red, and the sand below me was covered in blood. Beginning to feel woozy, I turned to Gabriel, as he crawled beside me, looking at me. "You alright?" He asked, grunting as he shifted in pain. "I'll make it." I assured him, as he let an amused "hmph" escape. "Glad to have you back."

"I-" I stopped myself, hesitating on what to say. I thought of everything, of the choice I had before me. My eyes returned to Genji, Angela, and Jesse, as I realized how funny it all was. The mission turned out to be enough danger to get me high, as I chuckled, happy, my grin spreading ear to ear. I had to admit, it was fun. Maybe it didn't have to be my last mission.

"Glad to _be_ back." I replied, as Gabriel nodded. As we both sat in silence, I noticed a familiar aircraft begin to land near us, it's propellers sending the wind flying at us, as I gripped my hat, holding it close. The shuttle entrance opened, revealing Strike Commander Morrison, his bright blue coat flapping in the wind contrasting with the night sky. Captain Amari wasn't far behind, as they rushed to us, medics running to us. I didn't resist as they began to place bandages on me and check for any more wounds, focusing on Jesse and the others, as they were picked up, being carried off into the shuttle. I got to my knees, much to the surprise of the medics, staring at me with wide eyes.

"Nathan, you should lie down." Ana insisted, as I shook my head. "Are they gonna be alright?" I ignored what she said, worried about my friends. "They'll be fine Nate. Get some rest kid, we're headed home." Morrison smiled, and I nodded, eyes beginning to shut, as I let the medics pick me up, as I drifted away.

One day later...

My eyes snapped open, legs kicking out in a quick spasm, muscles jerking forward. My breathing hitched as I realized where I was, recognizing the sterile medical lab I was in. I sat in a chair propped up against the wall in a corner, facing the three others in the room. Genji, Jesse, and Angela, unlike Gabriel, have yet to wake up and recover. I haven't left the room this entire day. I plan to be here when they wake up.

I had gotten off easy, as I sustained my wounds better than the others, though I still feel sore. Sighing, I leaned back in my chair once more, staring off at Jesse, who was in the middle of both of them. His hat lay beside him on the table. I had placed it there. His chest was still covered in bandages, the gash going through him still healing. Genji was doing better than the other two, his cybernetics and implants giving him an edge, allowing him to withstand more damage. His armor had been repaired, along with the augmentations he had. They said he was more likely to wake up early.

Angela was stable, though slowly healing, the scar on her head wrapped up. Her spine had taken severe damage as well, the doctors having said it was a miracle her spine wasn't severed or paralyzed. The guilt was enough to send me into fits of anger, mostly directed inwards towards myself. This was all my fault. I was a fucking idiot. They could've died. My recklessness is going to end up getting me killed.

I've been the only one besides the nurses to visit this room. Some of them attempted to convince me to leave, and that they'd be alright, but I wouldn't be assured until I saw them all awake. I wasn't just going to leave like that. I at least needed to say goodbye. I owed them that at the very least.

I rubbed my still tired eyes, propping my elbow up on my knee, resting my head in my palm. I had yet to speak with Rachel since I left, though I had let her know I was okay. I called her, but she didn't pick up, so I left a message. She deserved to know I was gonna live. I'd rather not needlessly worry her.

Much to my surprise, the door opened, though it didn't reveal a regular nurse I'd grown accustomed to. In walked the woman I was thinking of, her green eyes meeting mine, her worried frown flipping into an excited grin, as she hugged me. I inhaled her scent, as it instantly made me feel better. "I missed you!" She exclaimed, as I smiled. "You too." I replied softly. I wasn't expecting visitors at the time, now completely aware of how horrible I looked. My hair was a jumbled mess, tucked under my hat in hopes of hiding it. I wore a plain black shirt and jeans, both of them stained.

A sudden guilt hit me, as I thought about what happened between Angela and I. I wasn't faithful to her, and I felt the urge to admit to my wrongdoings. I couldn't lie to her. Rachel deserved better. Only now was I realizing how fucked up my situation was, being torn between two lives. The situation was familiar.

I glanced at Angela, her soft features catching my eye, watching her sleep peacefully. My eyes quickly darted back to Rachel, as she smiled at me, taking a seat beside me. She was as beautiful as I remembered. "I came as soon as I could. They're really big on security around here." She apologized, as I shook my head. "Yeah. I remember my first time here. I was in an interrogation room." I related, as she raised an amused eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Long story. I think I'll give you the full story when we get home." I promised, as she smiled. "I hope so. You have a more interesting past than I initially thought." She admitted, and I laughed. "Ya don't know the half of it."

"Hopefully I will soon. Though I have my theories." She said, and I nodded. "Yeah." I didn't mean to stare, but I began to space out, concerned for my friends' well being. Rachel noticed the look, placing her hand on my own. "Hey, it'll be okay. I'm sure they'll be fine." She said, and I nodded, uneasy. "Yeah." Was all I could mutter.

"Everything alright?" Rachel asked, the question hard to answer. 'I've lied to you our entire relationship, I work for Blackwatch, my friends almost died, I'm being sucked back into this whole Overwatch thing once more, Angela and I nearly got back together, and I'm pretty sure I still love her. Everything is just dandy.' My thoughts were enough to drive me insane.

"Y-yeah." I stuttered, and her eyes analyzed every bit of my face, as I struggled to maintain my composure under her suspicious glare. "You sure?" She continued prying, as I sighed. "It's complicated." I said. After an uneasy silence, Rachel spoke once more.

"You're THE Nathan Parker, aren't you?" She asked, and I played dumb. "Who?" I asked, and she rolled her eyes. "I knew I recognized you from somewhere. I guess after we met I didn't think about it anymore. No wonder you're being dragged back into this." Rachel said, and I sighed. "Look, I can explain." I began, as she smiled.

"You don't have to explain anything Nate. I'm not mad at you. Hell I would've kept that a secret too. I don't blame you for not telling me. That's some rough shit. I'm sorry." She gripped my hand, and I looked at her, confused. "Why?"

"You've been through so much. You're the Hero of Numbani." She said, and I shook my head. "Don't call me that. I'm not a hero." I replied, and she giggled. "Of course. I have to tell you, I did some research on you when you were gone. You are quite a story. I mean, Blackwatch? One of the most mysterious men alive according to the media? A playboy through and through? An agent gone rogue? Who could resist?" She teased, and I chuckled.

"I'm not even half of those." I smiled. I was lucky to have Rachel. Any other woman would be flipping their shit, calling me every bad name in the book. But she was so understanding and calm. It was like I'd known her all my life. She was able to read me like an open book.

"So I suppose this is it?" She asked, and I frowned, turning to her. "What?"

Rachel smiled, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Please, I know you aren't done with this whole hero thing. Don't lie to yourself. As much as you like to hide it, you're quite the role model. I don't want to hold you back." Rachel explained, and I shook my head. "But-" I tried to object, but she shushed me. "It's alright Nathan. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You have a job to do here. You have friends. You have a family. I can see it in your eyes. You're not going to leave Blackwatch. This is where you belong. I know it. I'm not mad at you. I'm happy I got to spend time with you. Good luck, Nathan Parker."

"R-Rachel...you're serious? You-you're not mad?" I stuttered, as she giggled. "Of course not. Why would I be?" She shrugged, and we both stood up. I pulled her into a loving hug, smiling. "You know me better than I know myself." I laughed, as she smiled at me. "Remember who you are, okay?" She said, and I nodded. "Of course. Thank you, Rachel. For everything."

Rachel looked back at me one last time as she opened the door to exit. "Keep the world safe for me alright?" She grinned, and I chuckled. "You got it."

The door shut behind her, as I smiled. "You got it."

Later...

I yawned, beginning to feel tired, my eyes barely able to stay open. I crossed my arms, slouching down in the chair I was in, hat tipped over my eyes. Sleep was just about to take me into it's warm embrace, but the door beside me opened, as I snapped up, placing my hat back on my head. My eyes widened when I noticed Morrison walk in, his deep blue eyes meeting mine. "Strike Commander?" I stood, about to salute him, stopping myself when I remembered I didn't take orders from him anymore. It was surprisingly easy to forget.

He smiled, placing his hand out in front of him, shaking mine in a firm yet friendly grip. "I thought I'd find you here." He said, and I shrugged. "Yeah. Just waiting for them to wake up. Don't really wanna leave without knowing they're okay." I explained, and he nodded. "I understand. You did good. Without you, they'd be dead."

"I think it makes us even for all the times they've pulled my ass out of the fire." I smiled, as he chuckled. "Either way, I'm sure they were glad to have you." Morrison said, and I nodded. "Thanks, sir."

He sat down beside me, sighing as he looked at the others as they rested. "You know we have never really talked one on one have we?" He began, and I smiled. "I don't suppose we have. Never had the pleasure." I grinned, as Morrison smiled. "I like to get to know the people I work with. You always have been distant, but I like that." He admitted, and I smiled. "Thank you."

"Nathan, I admire you. For all your flaws, you still have so much potential. You're brave, but also stupid at the same time. Sometimes I have trouble identifying which one it is. You're bold, and you're willing to risk your life for others. You make the choices no one else can. You work well under pressure. You're a natural born leader. I'm glad you decided to join us." He smiled, and I laughed. "It's been an honor, sir. I missed being here. Being around people like you, and Captain Amari. You guys are quite the influence."

"I'm glad to have you back." Morrison said, and I became confused. I don't recall ever joining back up. I still had a choice to make. Normal life still seemed rather tempting. It was my last mission. I had told myself that countless times. As if to remind myself that. It's becoming harder and harder to remember it.

"Who said I was back? This was my last mission." I replied, and he chuckled. "Of course it was." He said sarcastically, rising from his seat. I scoffed. "What?" I asked, and he grinned. "You've got to be the most stubborn man I've met. You rarely let go of things. I doubt you've let go of everything here." Morrison added, and I sighed. "I've let go of everything. This was my last mission."

"I'm certain of it. Tell me, if that's the case, what're you still doing here?" He asked, and I answered quickly, though my confidence was lacking. "To make sure they're okay before I go." I said, and he rolled his eyes. "Oh please. Nathan, drop the act. You're a hero. As much as you hate to admit it, you save people. It's what you do. To me, it suits you. You're good at it. I don't know what I have to do to make you realize that. What did you do when you noticed the others hadn't surfaced yet? You went back for them. You risked your life to save them from drowning. Most people would've given up after not finding them in the first few moments. Not you though. Not you. I wish you could see it how I do." He said, and I closed my eyes, thinking about everything.

He was right. I do save people. I can't ever make up for the lives I've taken, but perhaps that's what motivates me to continue helping people. I conceded, looking back at Morrison. "Thank you, sir."

He nodded. "Welcome back kid."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Pursuit of Happiness

I may very well have made the biggest mistake of my life.

I grunted, rolling over, lying on my back, tired eyes staring back at the ceiling, sighing. I had spent the last two hours struggling to get a wink of sleep. And whenever I was lucky enough to stumble into a deep slumber, I was quickly and rudely awakened. The petite woman resting beside me had been the root of it, as I closed my eyes, though still able to see the ceiling of the room through my eyelids. My breathing calmed, as I sank back down into the bed, sleep welcoming me into it's warm embrace.

"Do you get excited when ya brain releases a bunch of endorphins?" I heard the familiar British accent call from the other side of the bed, as I rolled my eyes, letting a disgruntled sigh escape me. "Can't relate." I mumbled. "It's been two hours, Lena, go to sleep." I told her once more, as I heard her shift in the bed, pulling the covers to her side, stripping me of my source of warmth. How did anyone catch a wink of sleep with her? I took pity on her future girlfriends.

"Oh, right. Sorry. Goodnight Nate." She replied, and I forced a smile, twiddling my thumbs, keeping my hands busy to prevent me from strangling her. "Goodnight." I said, barely able to prevent my passive aggressive tone from slipping into fury. Lena was a great friend, a fact I had to keep reminding myself this entire night. She let me crash in her bed for the night, after she found me sleeping on a bench. I accepted the offer, ignorant to the hell that awaited me. I would much rather sleep on the cold, hard metal of the benches outside than suffer this torture any longer. Solitude was good anyways. Gave me a way to think about everything.

I indeed had a lot to think about as well. Angela and the others have recovered from the mission, though still a little sore. I helped Angela unwind, as funny as it was watching her struggle to relax. Hard work has become such a large part of her schedule, she can't quite find a way to productively spend her time. I said she could use a drink, or at least a good night's sleep. She deserved it after all. The woman had endured so much. Rachel had left, and I still found myself thinking about her. I don't think I deserved having someone like her in my life. She was kind, understanding, gentle. Everything I'm not. A part of me misses her, but this is where I belong, as much as I hate to admit it.

Lena hadn't said anything for a while now, so I assumed I could let my guard down, and not worry about her seemingly endless questions and comments. My eyelids were as heavy as ever, as I kept quiet, careful not to wake her, listening to her soft breathing. I relaxed. Finally. Peace and quiet.

"Do ya think pigeons 'ave feelings?"

My eyes snapped back open, as I nearly placed my hands around her throat, ready to watch the life slip out of the Brit as she kicked and struggled. The violent image seemed to relax and relieve a part of me, but I held back. I rolled over, meeting her large, brown eyes as they stared at me curiously. "I'm giving you one last chance, to shut. The. Fuck. Up." I warned sternly, as she nodded, quickly shutting her eyes like a child would when they pretend to be asleep. I kept my eyes on her, watching her. I didn't trust her for a moment. I knew very soon, those dopey eyes would open once more, giving me a puppy dog look.

And they did. Her eyes opened, and I prepared for another stupid comment. "So, ya joining Blackwatch aga-"

"Maybe." I said, standing up from the bed, walking over to grab my things, quickly slipping into my brown coat. "But murdering my fellow agents in their sleep is frowned upon, so I think it's for the best that I leave now. Else I may end up strangling you."

Lena looked back at me, and a smirk met her lips, the opposite reaction I expected from the woman after what I just said. "So that's a yes." She said, and I rolled my eyes, opening the door and slamming it behind me, unable to handle anymore of that nonsense. My hands travelled up to my hair, as my fingers interlaced with my long brown locks, pulling hard. I let go, sighing, moving through the sterile white hallways of at a slow pace.

My feet led me to wherever they pleased, as I paid them no mind, my brain still trying to wrap around everything going on. I still had a long way to go before I was part of Overwatch.

I had talked with Ana about it, and she encouraged me to join Overwatch, just as I expected. I have my doubts, but she has been doing well in convincing me I fit in this sort of place. She said I was one of the best shots they've ever seen, and my heroic deeds were not to be forgotten either. My work in Numbani is being recognized by those who run Overwatch, and Strike Commander Morrison had even put my name forward to join Overwatch. Although I'm still unsure, it does mean a lot to know they believe in me, even if I don't.

Stumbling across another pair of footsteps, I wasn't able to react in time, bumping into the figure in front of me. Our eyes met, as we both seemed to have been wandering aimlessly, and Angela stared me down. I gulped, quickly avoiding her gaze, bending down to pick up the paper she dropped. My name was displayed on the paper, which caught my eye, but I decided to not be nosy, handing it back to her.

"My thanks." She said, and I scratched the back of my neck nervously. Our conversation earlier today was just as awkward, as we both tried to avoid what happened between us on the train. Trying to keep things strictly professional between us was getting harder and harder, and I felt the urge to address my feelings about this whole thing. She was a major reason I left Blackwatch in the first place.

The silence between us quickly became unbearable, as I started up a conversation, quickly skipping to the point and avoiding small talk. "Look, things are awkward between us, and I figure we need to be adults here and address what happened. We weren't professional, and went against protocol. But I wanna make things right between us, so..." I struggled to word it properly.

"Look, let's just both agree to say sorry at the same time." I said, and Angela nodded in response. "I suppose that's fair." Her face was stern, and serious. 'Almost professional.' I thought to myself. "Okay. 3...2...1..."

Neither of us said a thing, staring at the other, having expected the other one to have apologized. It was childish of me, trying to fool her into saying sorry first. Though she attempted the same thing. I stifled a laugh, hiding the smile that came to my lips. She was just as childish as me. I sighed deeply. "Well, now just I'm disappointed in both of us."

We broke out into laughter, leaning on each other for support as we giggled like a bunch of schoolgirls. Her eyes lit up as I smiled at her. I felt my cheeks heat up, soon becoming warm. Angela never failed in giving me that giddy feeling. "You coming with me?" I asked, as I began to walk away, planning on exiting the base. "Where, exactly?" She asked, and I smiled. "I have no clue. That's the fun though. Today, I'm just a guy taking his girl out for some fun." I answered, and she soon caught up, walking beside me. "Well shouldn't I dress?"

I turned, looked at her for a moment. I shrugged, deciding her lab coat was enough. I didn't plan on anything fancy anyways. "Nah. You'll be fine. Trust me."

"Are you sure we should be doing this? We may never hear the end of this if the media finds out." She reminded me, and I smirked. "Then let's give them something to talk about."

The next day...

I woke up on the floor of the base, residing right below a bench. I must've fallen off of it. I slowly began to sit upright, groaning as I did so. My head felt like it would explode at any moment. The hangover was already hitting me hard. Though it was worth it. I picked the bottle up that rested beside me, as I noticed it was empty. Disappointed in the result, I stood up, stumbling over to the cafeteria to sober up.

Angela and I had spent the night traveling around the town, doing whatever we felt like at the moment, not caring about the consequences. It reminded me of Jane. Angela was even more reckless than I, probably because she rarely ever does anything like this. She has spent her life working hard and dedicating her life to helping those in need. It was good to see her let loose once and a while.

We walked through the mostly empty streets, taking in the views, moving from town to town, the base becoming smaller and smaller as we traveled aimlessly, not concerned with where we were headed. Most of the way there, we chatted, laughing together and sharing things together. I felt even younger, like my whole life is in front of me. I had no clue what I wanted to do with it, and that excited me, rather than scared me.

Of course if I am able to join Overwatch, it will consume my life like it has everyone else. But when I think about it, is that really so bad? Yes perhaps I'll be away from my friends here, but I'll be actually helping people. I'll be a hero, not just some Blackwatch grunt to be forgotten. I'd be able save people rather than kill them. I may even get to work with the original strike team from time to time. Besides, the after party of my induction would be worth every struggle it may or may not be.

Opening the doors to the cafeteria, I was surprised to see it was completely empty, besides a few stragglers left behind. I frowned, thinking nothing of it, as I approached the coffee machine in hopes of perking myself back up. Sighing, I rubbed my eyes, attempting to wake up. Groggily, I took the mug of coffee, not bothering to pour any sugar, and downed it in one gulp. I cringed, hating the taste of it, but I choked it down. How do people enjoy that without any sugar?

Looking around, I still noticed I was alone for the most part. Odd. The place is usually crawling with starving agents in the morning.

Wait. What time was it?

I dropped my mug when I looked down at my watch. It was four in the fucking afternoon! No one woke me up?! What the hell?! I gulped, realizing I was late for a very important date. Practically sprinting through the hallways, I rushed down to the lounge, hoping I wasn't too late.

Coming to a halt right outside the doors, I peered in, hearing people chatting inside. I spotted Jesse, along with Ana and Angela. The lady of the hour had arrived as well, as I opened the doors, trying to straighten up and look presentable. I'm such an ass sometimes. Sneaking in on her eighteenth birthday party. I was the one who planned this god damnit. I'm an idiot.

No time to feel guilty about it, as I snuck behind her while she was busy conversating with the others, though Reinhardt noticed me. His one eye widened, though he kept quiet, which was a first. The large man allowed me to sneak up behind the tall and muscular woman, as I smirked, placing my hands on her shoulders, shocking her. "Boo!"

She let out a screech, sending her elbow right into my cheek. I stumbled back, groaning in pain, before she flipped me over her back, and I crashed into the hard floor with a thud. That was one way to sober up.

She noticed me, her eyes widening. "Nate!"

"Remind me not to sneak up on you." I groaned, as she pulled me up, laughing. "Good to see you Fareeha." I smiled, as she hugged me, causing me to wince, but smile as well, softly patting her back. "Happy birthday kiddo." I said, and she giggled. "I missed you Nathan." Fareeha said, and I nodded. "I know."

She playfully punched my now sore shoulder, as Jesse scoffed. "Look who finally showed up." He grinned, and I sighed. "Yeah, I was busy." I lied, and Gabriel laughed. "Yes, the floor really needed you sleeping on it. Thanks for keeping us safe." He mocked me, and I rolled my eyes. "Yeah yeah, fuck you."

Angela met my eyes for a moment, and I smiled. She looked great, considering how much we drank last night. Changing the subject before I got too distracted with Angela, I turned to the others. "Well, what are we doing with the birthday girl? I assume you got your birthday punches in?" I turned back to Fareeha, and she smiled. "Not yet, though I think I can handle it. You fight like a girl."

Jack laughed. "A very pretty girl as well." He let an amused smirk show, and I smiled, ready to return the banter. "Flirting with me? Strike Commander that is against protocol." I glanced at Angela, but she did well in hiding her blush. Jesse noticed the exchange, smirking at me. I returned the same.

"As if you've ever followed the protocol." Ana said, and I shrugged. "Eh, it holds me back." I replied, as Fareeha rolled her eyes.

"Nathan, are you thirsty? You look like you could use a drink!" Reinhardt asked, but I shook my head. "No thanks, I think I had enough last night." I smiled, and Angela took a step towards me. "That's for certain. I had to drag you to your bench last night."

I held my hands up in defeat. "Ya got me. I don't know how you handle your liquor so well." I responded, and Reinhardt guffawed. "She gets it from me! I taught her everything I know!" He exclaimed proudly. I smiled. "I see."

The afternoon went on as planned, as we all began to mingle and chat with one another, celebrating Fareeha's birthday. She's now a legal adult. They grow up so fast. We spent our time together, all of us getting along rather well, laughing together. We were a family. A family I had to admit I still wanted to be a part of. Jack, Gabriel, and Ana dropped multiple hints for me to join Overwatch, though I ignored them for now, pushing the problem to another date. Ana ended up showing us a few baby pictures, as we laughed, ignoring Fareeha's pleads to start a less embarrassing topic.

Angela and I bumped into each other, and I chuckled, realizing we hadn't talked since last night. We just glanced at one another from time to time, offering smiles and winks on occasion. I suppose we just didn't have much to say. We've gotten over the bumps between us. I'm glad to say we still have something. I still have a chance to make this right.

"Hey." I greeted, and she smiled. "Hello. How are you feeling?" She asked, and I shrugged. "Well for waking up at four in the afternoon, I feel surprisingly good. I appreciate your concern."

"Simply looking out for my fellow agent here at Overwatch." She said, and I scoffed. "I'm not Overwatch." I replied, and she smirked up at me. "Not yet. Maybe we could take advantage of that? Meet me in my office in a few hours?" She raised an eyebrow, and I blushed, scratching the back of my neck, adjusting my hat. "Y-Yeah." I tried to seem confident, failing miserably.

Angela winked at me, as I gulped, resisting the urge to join her in her office now. "I-"

"THIS IS MY LIFE!" I heard Fareeha yell, and Angela and I both turned in curiosity. We headed over to her, as we walked in on her yelling at her mother, as Ana stared her down. "I know what's best for you, child. I want a normal life for you." She stayed calm, despite her daughter's outrage. "Can't you see?! I'm finally getting to do what I want! I can finally join the army! I can join Helix! I could join Overwatch some time in the future! This is the start of my career!"

"I forbid you. You will NOT be joining anything." Ana arose, as Jack and Gabriel arrived. We both exchanged worried glances. Jesse stepped forward. "Alright lets just calm down." Jesse shushed them, but to no avail. "No. I'm tired of her treating me like a child. I'm an adult."

"You'll always be her baby girl, Fareeha." Reinhardt added softly, and I nodded. "We can sort all this out later." Gabriel grumbled, placing a hand on Ana's shoulder, though she paid him no mind. Tensions were as high as they could get, and I struggled to come up with a way to diffuse the situation. "Perhaps we could all use some fresh air?" Angela offered.

"No, I'm done with this. I'm leaving." Fareeha said, and I reached out for her. "Please, come on, stay. For your mother." I urged her to stay, but she shook her head. "Why should I care how she feels? She never showed me the same courtesy."

Fareeha stomped through the doors, as I turned to the others. "I just want what's best for her." Ana admitted, falling back down into her seat. "She'll come around. I know it." Jack assured her, but I scoffed. Jesse and I shared a look, as I sighed. "Telling Fareeha what to do is counterproductive. In the end she does what she wants."

They all turned to me, and Jesse nudged me. "Maybe you should speak to her." He said, and I nodded. Why did everything have to go so horribly wrong? I go from flirting with Angela to trying to solve family problems in mere moments.

Quickly jogging over to Fareeha, I found her exiting the base, tears in her eyes, though she attempted to hide them. "Wait up!" I caught her attention, and she sighed. "Go away Nathan. I'll be fine."

"Sure you don't wanna talk about it? I may know a thing or two about this. Offer some insight?" I approached her, and she shook her head. "I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving. I'm joining the army." Fareeha replied, and I smiled. "Yeah. I know."

Fareeha turned to me, confused. She opened her arms, preparing for a hug goodbye, but I shook my head. "You don't think I'm letting you go alone now do you?" I folded my arms, and she smiled. "Please. I can handle myself."

"I know you can, but I want to be with you. We can just hit the road and drive. We can talk about all this. I can give you some advice. I know a good bit about the 'pursuit of happiness' as I call it. We can have fun for a bit, get out all the dreams and things you've wanted to do your whole life. If you don't, you'll regret it."

Fareeha stared at me, thinking about the proposal. After a deafening silence, she responded. "Tell me, how does this 'pursuit of happiness' go?"

I smirked. "It involves a lot of drinking, tears, confessions, and very, very poor choices."

A few hours later...

We had been on the road for hours, as I kept my eyes on the empty road ahead, cruising at a relatively relaxed pace. We had plenty of time to think. This was my first time going on a 'pursuit of happiness' with someone else. I guess it could be a learning experience for both of us. Besides, I could use a good road trip. I've got a lot to think about anyways.

I felt my phone go off in my pocket, as I looked down at the countless messages coming from Angela and Jesse. I only responded with "Fareeha and I will be gone for a bit. We're just going on a drive. I'll keep her safe. See you soon."

I didn't bother waiting for a response, sighing, reclining in the seat of the car, keeping one hand on the wheel as I closed my tired eyes for a moment. I smiled, though I couldn't tell why. I just did. Turning to Fareeha, I found her sound asleep in the car, the streetlights illuminating her fair features as we passed by. I chuckled to myself, placing my coat over her. "Goodnight Fareeha."

Taking one last look behind us, I could see the familiar roads disappearing. This was the furthest I've been from base in months. I've forgotten how beautiful the world can be, since I'm always so cooped up in such small quarters. I suppose that base has become my home.

I thought for a moment about Fareeha. She really wanted this whole army thing. I could tell. It wasn't just some rebellious phase. She really meant it. I should've expected it, seeing as how interested she's always been in Overwatch. Ana would kill me if she knew what I was doing.

Though even I didn't know what I was doing. I can't tell if I should try to convince Fareeha to stay or not. This is what she wants now, but what if she regrets this decision? The only two things I know for sure, is that I can't force this on her. And that we've got a long road ahead of us.

 **Sorry for the long wait you guys! I've been busy working on some other projects outside of my writing. I really like this idea, and I've been thinking about it for a while. I feel like this plot line with Fareeha has so much potential, and really hasn't been explored enough. All I know for certain is, it's gonna get pretty emotional.**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Confessions, and Very, Very Poor Choices

Fareeha was just waking up when I began to stop outside her house. I remembered her speaking about something she wanted to grab before we went out too far. As we arrived, I sighed, leaning back in my seat, taking a quick glance at the house. It was fairly nice, a one story building, but a good exterior. Fareeha took a deep breath, and exited the car, ascending the steps towards her front door. While she was busy unlocking the door, I placed my head on the wheel for a moment, exhausted. I'd been driving this entire night, and I was fairly surprised we hadn't gotten into a crash with how many times I nodded off. Exhaling, I reached for my hat, and placed it on my head, taking a look at myself in the rear view mirror.

I looked like shit. I felt like shit. What was I doing? I should be back with the others. I should knock some sense into Fareeha. This isn't a good life. She needs to know that. Ana had already tried desperately to expose her to the harsh realities of being an Overwatch agent, but Fareeha is just as stubborn as me. If not even more stubborn. I haven't decided on whether or not I even support this decision, yet here I am, driving her from place to place, letting her get whatever she needed to out of her system.

Exiting the car, I followed Fareeha inside, taking a few steps towards the kitchen counter, letting Fareeha head off into another direction near an office of some sorts. I listened to her rummage through drawers, hearing her place things into her bag, zipping it back up. Waiting for a bit, I tapped my foot, trying to stay patient. After all, this might be the last time she's ever going to be in here. That's if I don't convince her not to do this. Ana is gonna kill me when I get back.

Noticing the silence coming from her, I headed towards her. I found her staring at a photo, amidst a very organized office with papers tucked neatly away, and medals and pictures of her mother and her. Looking at the photo, I noticed it was taken around a year and half ago, when I was still getting used to Overwatch. Ana had her arm around Fareeha, as they smiled, with Reinhardt and Torbjorn laughing in the back. Jack, Gabriel and Angela all smiled, standing to the left of her, while Jesse and I stood to her right. I looked slightly out of place, confused. I wasn't used to parties, especially a Halloween party. The place was decorated in all sorts of colors and pumpkins, lights adorned above us. Gabriel wore a surprisingly well put together costume, holding a pumpkin under his arm, which he wore on his head. I wore my regular gear, having completely forgotten about the whole event. Ana dressed up as a pirate, with a blue bandana, her brown eyes filled to the brim with joy. Reinhardt was a sailor of some sorts, a hat covering his white hair. Torbjorn was a viking, his long blonde beard in a braid, along with a helmet with two horns on top of his head. McCree was dressed as Van Helsing, even wearing a crossbow on his back, along with decorating his usual gear. Angela had a witch outfit, her hat hanging loosely off her head. Jack was a daredevil, his long flowing cape and American colors contrasting with his bright, perfect smile. Fareeha wore gray makeup on her face to seem like she was dead, though her dark skin was difficult to make pale.

A grin came to my lips as I thought of the party. It was good. I could remember us all huddled around a table as Reinhardt told us the tale of Dr. Junkenstien. What I wouldn't give to go back to those days. They were simpler times. No one wanted me for Overwatch. No past lives coming back to haunt me. No near death experiences. No heartbreak. Only family.

'Maybe one day, it'll be like that again.' I thought to myself.

"Hey, you alright?" I asked, and she looked up at me, snapping from the trance she was in. "Y-yeah, yeah. Sorry, spaced out." She apologized, and I shook my head. "Ya ain't got nothing to be sorry for. Take your time. I'll wait." I assured Fareeha, and she nodded. "Thanks Nathan, but I'm fine, seriously." She replied, though she didn't convince me. I could still tell she was bottling her emotions back up.

Smirking, I placed a hand behind a bottle that sat on the edge of the desk. Everything was so organized, and I couldn't help but feel the urge to mess things up. Whistling innocently, I slipped my hand back, knocking the bottle to the floor, as it shattered. Fareeha looked up at me, the same mischievous smirk decorating her lips, as she seemed to read my mind. Her hand grabbed the stack of papers, flinging them off the desk, as they plummeted to the ground, surrounding us in white papers. I took that as a challenge, grabbing the chair, throwing it against a wall, causing a loud thud, a new hole in the wall.

Fareeha rushed to the coat hanger, swinging it like a baseball bat, knocking everything in sight down, as she giggled in merry fashion, releasing her emotions. I smiled, the plan to cheer her up working, as I laughed, taking a bookshelf and pushing it down, the books colliding with the ground in spectacular fashion.

We began to destroy everything in sight, the destruction helping us both release some of the tension in ourselves, setting our bodies free. Flipping over furniture, cracking computer monitors, shredding papers, throwing glass against the walls, anything we could get our hands on. It didn't matter what it was. I surprisingly enjoyed it, as we laughed together, the entire experience containing a whimsical nature, despite how destructive it truly was. Fareeha seemed glad to do this, as if that's all she'd been wanting to do since she bought the place.

As we finished, she threw the final lamp on the floor, breaking it. We laughed hysterically, as she smiled, hugging me, relying on me to support her body as she giggled, wiping the tears of joy away on my shirt. I placed my hand on her back, looking at everything. I pitied whoever had to clean it up. "Oh I always wanted to do that!" She exclaimed between fits of laughter, as I smiled down on her.

"Feel better?" I asked, and she nodded, punching my shoulder playfully. "Much. C'mon, let's get going." She said, stepping over the remains of a desk, slinging her bag over her shoulder, and opening the door. Fareeha took one last look at the place, before smiling, leaving the place behind without another word, heading for the car.

I took a step forward to follow, hearing the crunch of glass underneath my foot, as I stopped, looking down, catching a glimpse of the paper under my boot. Moving my foot, I bent down to pick it up, reading the message. "Justice rains from above!" It read, as I flipped it over, looking at the photo. Ana was holding Fareeha, who couldn't have been more than five or six, holding her up in the air, as Fareeha spread her arms like the wings of a bird. I smiled, looking at the two laughing together. It reminded me of my mother.

Shaking the feeling off, I placed the photo in my pocket, heading to the car, as Fareeha honked the horn for me to hurry.

Angela's POV

It has been an entire day since Nathan disappeared with Fareeha, and Captain Amari hasn't ever been more worried. I suppose Nathan wasn't really the most trustworthy person, but I trusted him, though I can't exactly say why. He's always been good with Fareeha, and gotten a lot more responsible recently. A part of me feels like he's trying to turn his situation around.

I was also trying to turn his situation around. I had already met with Gabriel and Jack about letting him into Overwatch, and they insisted he could join, but he has to get permission from the higher ups, and people such as Mr. Petras. He'd have his work cut out for him in order to convince him to let him back in. Nathan didn't exactly act well in front of Mr. Petras during Jacob and Jamie's funeral.

Jack spoke with a few of them about Nathan's case, and put in a good word for him. Though he told me he was uncertain if it had any affect on them. Nathan was well trained, battle hardened, brave, heroic at times, and willing to put his life on the line to save others. Everything Overwatch was looking for in someone. But he also has shown a clear lack of self control at times, alcoholism, signs of depression and post traumatic stress disorder, and was a former gang member, responsible for the deaths of many. Quitting Blackwatch only made it more of an uphill battle.

Sighing, I heard a knock at my door, and I called out as usual. "Come in!" The door soon opened, revealing Jack and Gabriel, as they entered. Jack lacked his usual charming grin, and Gabriel looked even more frustrated than usual, his brows furrowed. This couldn't be good.

Both of them took a seat in front of my desk, as I focused my attention towards the two commanding officers. "Angela, we've got good news and bad news." Jack began, and I frowned, though curious. "Good news first." I replied, and Jack nodded. "Well, we spoke with Mr. Petras, and we convinced him to give Nathan another chance. He'll be able to speak with the higher ups and testify on his behalf on why he should be in Overwatch."

I smiled, my eyes widening. "That's great!" I exclaimed, though they lacked the same enthusiasm. "The catch is," Gabriel began, adjusting his regular beanie he wore. "The trial is in two days. And with Nathan disappearing off with Fareeha, it's more and more likely he'll miss the date. He's completely unaware of this. I doubt wherever he is he can just leave too, so in other words, we're fucked." Gabriel admitted, a look of defeat in his eyes as he thought about the situation.

"Well can't we try and reschedule?" I asked, and they shook their heads. "No. And even if we could, would that look very good for Nathan? Mr. Petras and the others aren't a forgiving bunch, and he's already pushed his luck. It's a wonder he wasn't fired in the first place." Jack explained, and I placed my head in my hands, annoyed.

"Well we can't just sit here and wait! We should go get him back!" I retorted, and Gabriel snorted. "Good luck. He's already so far away, we won't get him back in time. And with how stubborn the kid is, he'll probably stay with Fareeha for whatever the hell they're doing."

Thinking about the situation, I looked in silence at the two men for a moment, contemplating what I could do. There wasn't much. I could locate him using his phone, but even with a tracker he's already got such a head start I may not reach him in time. I could try and text him, but I know for a fact he won't just turn around. Nothing can ever be simple, can it?

"I'll go." I stated, and they both stared. "Angela, there's no way you'll reach him in time. Besides-"

"I'll go." I repeated, cutting Jack off. Gabriel leaned forward, eyeing me curiously. "If you think you can get him, be my guest. Just be glad you don't have to be the one to explain his absence." Gabriel muttered, and I shook my head, looking at him in disbelief. He gave up much too easily.

"It won't come to that, I promise. We'll arrive on time. There is no way we're letting him miss this shot. Since when have you two been one to give up so easily? I expected better." I said, and Jack began to speak, but I quickly silenced him, the authority now resting with me, despite our ranks.

"We're getting Nathan into Overwatch. We've beaten slimmer odds, and we'll overcome this problem. Nathan deserves to be in Overwatch. He isn't meant to be stuck in Blackwatch. He's a natural born leader, with the skills we desire. Nathan never gave up on you both, so please, return the favor." I spoke confidently, as they smiled, looking up at me as I stood from my desk. "Well alright. Good luck, Dr. Ziegler." Jack said, and I nodded.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to catch up to Nathan."

Nathan's POV

"Reinhardt always made this look so easy." Fareeha muttered, taking another drink, nearly stumbling off of the stool she was on. I grinned, feeling properly shit faced myself, as I sipped the straight vodka in my glass. I was three quarters down the bottle, already barely able to walk.

"That's cause he's a rather..." I stopped, hiccuping. "Large...man..." I slurred, struggling with finishing the sentence, losing track of what I was saying. My entire body felt warm, my hands feeling fuzzy. I laughed, feeling completely delirious. I hadn't got this drunk in a while. The bartender here was kind enough to let me treat Fareeha to a drink, which was going well. I'd never seen the girl drunk. Hell it might be her first time. She giggled about something, swirling the ice in her beer around in the glass. I made sure she didn't take anything too strong. I didn't want her going to sleep on me.

This was just how most of my pursuits went. Though I was usually alone, and a lot more depressed than I am now. But I suppose confusion about what I'm gonna do with my life is just as good a reason as any to get drunk. Fareeha on the other hand seemed determined to become a soldier, and although I dropped quite a few hints about going back to her mother, she always refused. The girl really was stubborn. For now, I agreed to take her drinking, as she admitted she always wanted to have a drink with me. After all, this was to help her do everything she ever wanted to do before she goes and joins the army.

Frowning, I felt my phone go off in my pocket, looking down at it, seeing that Angela was trying to reach me. I hesitated, but decided I better answer. It might be important. "Howdy darlin'." I greeted, and I heard her sigh. "Well I can tell you took her to a bar." She muttered, referring to how I slurred my words, and I chuckled. "You'd be right. The gal wanted a few rounds." I explained, and she paused, before I heard her voice on the other end again. "Would you both mind staying put? I'm on my way to you." Angela asked, and I grinned.

"Didn't expect you to be so straight forward. I'll be back in a few days. We can uh... catch up then." I replied, and she scoffed. "Trust me, you're not that good." She teased, and I shrugged. "Ya seemed satisfied."

"Well...that's besides the point. Stay put. You need to come back to base, now." She added. "Why?" I asked.

"You're expected back at base in two days. Your trial that decides whether or not you can join Overwatch is soon. If you're not there, you can kiss your chances goodbye. Mr. Petras is not the forgiving type. We need you there so we can testify on your behalf."

"Mr. Petras can kiss my ass." I replied, hearing Fareeha laugh at that. "Never liked the man anyways." I said, and Angela sighed. "This isn't about your petty grudge against Overwatch's higher ups. This is about your future!" She snapped, and I paused.

If I'm being honest with myself, I don't know what I want to do. That's why I'm here with Fareeha. I have no clue what I'm gonna do with my life. I don't have some big idea, or reason to dole out justice. But a part of me likes wandering. I'm not really trying to find something to get behind in life. I'm not lost. I just like traveling, living my life. What chances do I even have to join Overwatch in the first place?

"Let's face it Angie, I ain't got a future. I'm a lost cause. The sooner you accept that, the better." I answered finally. "So that's it? You'll just throw this chance away like all the others? Look, if you wanna blow every single chance that comes your way, fine. Just don't come crawling back to me when you realize how much wasted potential you have."

"Angela, you're making a huge mistake. Overwatch isn't for me." I stated, seeing Fareeha frown at me, saddened by that.

"How huge? What like blowing this great opportunity you have? Like getting drunk every night? Like being kicked out of Blackwatch? Like ruining your whole life? Huh, that huge?!"

I stopped, my face reddening, a familiar sting of embarrassment and hurt hitting me. How could she say that? That's how she truly felt about me? I thought maybe she could understand. But no. None of them do. Not her, not Jesse, not Ana, not Gabriel, nobody. Nobody understands me.

I heard Angela's breathing hitch, like she regretted what she said. I could tell she wanted to apologize. "I-" I quickly hung up, interrupting her before she could speak. I had heard everything I needed to. All of a sudden, I didn't feel drunk. I felt perfectly aware of the pain I felt, as I reached for my bottle of vodka, ignoring the concerned looks I got from Fareeha.

"You alright?" She asked, seeming completely sober. I nodded, keeping the bitter hatred I felt bottled up inside. I won't snap at her. She's not responsible for that.

I soon found myself engraving my name into the counter with the edge of my knife, in the middle of finishing up the final "n" in my name when I noticed Fareeha trying to ignore a man who had approached her at the counter. I watched, eyes analyzing every single movement the man made. I was just waiting for the signal, raring to go. "I'm fine, thanks for the offer." I overheard her decline the man's offer, his brown eyes meeting Fareeha's.

He leaned in, and I noticed Fareeha clench up her fists. She was ready for a fight. "Aww come on, lemme buy you a drink." The man offered, his hand sliding towards Fareeha's, as she quickly withdrew her hand back. "Hey. The lady said no. Walk away." I stared him down, grip on my knife tightening. He snickered.

"What are you gonna do old man?" He laughed, looking at Fareeha. "What is he your father?" He asked, and I was starting to hate that shit eating grin more and more by the second. I stood up, others in the bar noticing. A few in the corner behind me rose from their seats, probably with the other man. I prepared for a fight.

"You could learn a thing or two about respect. Perhaps I should teach you a lesson." I cracked my knuckles. He stepped towards me. "I suggest you sit down, before you get hurt." I looked down at Fareeha, who winked at me. I smiled, watching as she slammed her glass into the side of his head, shards of glass and beer flying everywhere. He held his head in surprise, as I charged, slamming him into the wall behind him.

He yelled in pain as I gripped his shirt and slammed him back into the wall. He attempted to punch me, but I sidestepped it, placing one arm behind his elbow, the other pushing his forearm back, breaking his elbow quickly. I smirked as he held it in pain, as I broke his nose with a swift jab, before sweeping his legs out from under him. I could hear Fareeha taking care of a few others behind me.

I felt arms wrap around my waist, as someone attempted to slam me into the floor. I elbowed him, then stomping on his foot, forcing him to release his grip in response, before cracking him in the back of the head with a stool. He slumped over quickly.

Fareeha was busy slamming one man's head into a table repeatedly, not noticing the man running at her from behind. I quickly kicked a chair down in front of her, causing the man to trip, stumbling into the wall beside her. I watched, allowing Fareeha to knock the man out. We both smiled, looking at the carnage around us. I laughed, hugging her tightly. "That's my girl." She giggled in return, as I patted her back softly.

Feeling bad about the property damage, I withdrew three to four hundred dollars in cash, slamming it on the counter. "For your trouble." I offered a warm grin to the bartender, as we left the bar, arms around one another, leaning on the other as we stumbled back towards our car.

Stopping, I chuckled as Fareeha giggled in excitement. "Ah that was so fun! I can't believe we actually did that! Thank you so much!" Fareeha said gratefully, and I nodded. "No problem. Just, answer me one question." I replied, and she nodded. "Sure."

"Do I really look that old?" I asked, feeling concerned about my looks. I wasn't aging that bad was I? I mean I have been pretty stressed lately. It didn't help as Fareeha only laughed in response, and I suddenly felt very self conscious about my looks. I followed her, desperate for an answer.

"Is it the beard?!"


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: You're an Amari

I smiled, watching as the entertainers began dancing around, skipping and kicking their legs out in merry fashion. The parade had been surprisingly enjoyable so far, as Fareeha convinced me to sit through it with her. I figured I had nothing better to do, and liked the idea of stalling for a bit. We were pretty close to our destination, where Fareeha is going to sign up and join the army. All of it against her mother's wishes, although I had no reason to remind her. Fareeha was well aware of what she was doing.

But she seemed to be having as good a time as anyone else around her, giggling as one of the jesters tripped and fell, purposely causing a mess as he plummeted into the crowds. I laughed, trying to get my mind off of what Angela said last night. I've yet to properly address the feelings I had, and I hid behind my charming smile as always. But I get the feeling I won't be able to keep up the facade for long. Fareeha is beginning to see the pain behind my grin and playful manner. Hiding behind the tears of a clown won't work forever. Although it seemed to work for those in the parade, shooting fireworks and sparklers into the sky, skipping as they locked arms and danced in synchronized laughter, the crowds cheering them on.

When the excitement began to fall back down, and the crowds fell into hushed mumbles and whispers as they brought out the next act, drums building up the anticipation, Fareeha watched those in the crowd laugh, drink and chase each other around in drunken happiness.

"Sometimes I wish I could be like them. Drink, race, travel from town to town. Not worry a wit about anything." Fareeha admitted, and I nudged her with my elbow, smirking. "Sounds like a good idea. Maybe I'll go with you. See how I'd look as a clown." I joked, but she gave me a serious look in response. "I'm serious Nathan. It'd be great. I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I'd have friends. I wouldn't be an outcast."

"C'mon, you've got me and everyone else back at base. Besides, I thought you wanted to be in Overwatch." I turned to her, and she frowned. "Yeah, I do but..." she trailed off, becoming uncertain about how she felt. "I don't know I guess. Don't really have a knack for planning." She said, and I looked at her, leaning closer.

"Your life is yours exclusively. You choose who you are." I said, sounding wiser than I anticipated. I reminded myself of Fareeha's mother for a second. Fareeha rolled her eyes, judging me. "Nathan, you know that's never been true. All because of my last name. Amari. My gift. My curse." Fareeha muttered, staring off into the crowd, scowling. I sensed a twinge of jealousy in her eyes as she watched those around her live happy and carefree lives. "I have so much expected of me. I can't just live my own life. Every choice I make will end up disappointing someone. I have to be some perfect woman, who never makes a mistake. I have to be eye candy for the public. But that's not who I am. I'm a fighter. I'm not some doll they can dress up however they like."

I sighed, thinking about what to say to her. She needed support now, more than ever. I understood where she was coming from, seeing more and more of myself in her as time goes by. I couldn't help but feel that I was battling my demons just as much as hers. Perhaps that's a good thing. "You were born with a great gift. Your family name. But it doesn't make you who you are. Only you can decide how you use your gift."

Fareeha paused, and I couldn't quite tell if that was a good sign or not. Her silence bothered me, as the crowd let another roar of applause go, and I looked at the clowns and jesters and performers. They twirled sticks set ablaze, the fire spinning wildly as the tossed them into the air, only to catch them as they crashed back down. A few others juggled glass, while the others sang folk songs I was unfamiliar with. The crowd surrounded them, either sitting in the benches, or lying under the shade of the trees planted near the steets.

"You do know you can count on me. No matter what happens." I assured her, as she giggled, nodding. I slid my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to me, smiling. This was good. I tried to keep my mind off of this entire thing ending, and what I'd have to say to Ana. I still struggled with how I was even going to explain this. No matter what I do, she's not gonna be happy. But the more that I think about it, the more and more I disagree with Ana. This isn't her life. Fareeha is willing to make the same sacrifices as her, and although she may not like it, she has to accept it. Ana can't deny Fareeha her freedom. She gets to choose what she does. No one else. I'll be sure to take care of her, no matter what. She's like a daughter to me.

Fareeha laughed, noticing the crowds begin to dance with those in the parade, mingling in one happy celebration. I smiled, listening to the instruments and voices harmonize as they all came together. It almost made me proud to know I protected these people from those that would harm them. Here, it was as if no omnic crisis ever happened, as man and omnic came together, hand in hand, embracing one another. It was surprisingly heartwarming.

Smirking, I got an idea. Fareeha looked up at me, raising an eyebrow. Before she could ask, I pulled her from the bench, ignoring her struggles and resistance. This would be good for her. She needed to lighten up a little bit. After all, this is a pursuit of happiness. "W-what are you doing?" She demanded, as we stopped near the center of the crowd. "C'mon! Dance! Ya said you wanted to be like them. Try it on for size! Cut loose, Amari!"

Fareeha was hesitant, as I noticed her stumble, clearly not comfortable. She was used to being the center of attention, always surrounded by cameras, unable to have fun and let her guard down. I chuckled, taking her hands in mine, as we danced. Well, more of I danced and she just barely moved along with. "I said cut loose! No one is here to tell you that you can't! No one will judge you! C'mon it's fun!" I urged her, as I laughed, feeling myself fall into the rhythm of the drums and flutes.

I watched as Fareeha began to dance, closing her eyes as she focused on herself, rather than those around her for once. And it was a wonder to see. I laughed, not resisting the urge to kick and stomp in joy, closing my eyes, not even worrying if anyone saw me dancing. For once, we could feel free. We could just be a part of the crowd. We weren't some hero. We weren't Overwatch. We weren't the captain's daughter. We weren't the Hero of Numbani.

We were free.

Angela's POV

Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, completely exhausted. I pulled yet another all-nighter, and it's affecting me. Dark circles had formed under my eyes, and my entire body felt weak, but I continued pushing forward. Though I was beginning to feel hopeless.

We only had a day and a half to get back to base. I was getting closer to Nathan, but the closer and closer I got, the more and more I felt like it was pointless, and that I should turn my car back around. Nathan likely wanted to stay as far away from me as possible because of last night, and I can't say I blame him. What I said was cruel, and unnecessary. Nathan already has so much weighing him down, I should be picking him up, not tearing him back down.

The man was stubborn, and I've still yet to come up with an apology for my actions. This was my fault. I got him into this mess. I dragged him back to Overwatch. I pushed him to try and join up once more. I drove his chances at a normal life away. I've changed his life, yet I can't decide whether it was better for him or not.

But I promised Jack and Gabriel I'd bring him back, and I didn't intend to disappoint them. This is my fault. And I need to fix it.

Coming to a halt, I noticed a bar across the road. It was in rough shape, a window broken, and I glanced into the interior, finding broken chairs and holes in the wall. Putting two and two together, I came to the conclusion Nathan and Fareeha had stopped here. It would explain the damages. Those two weren't exactly level headed, and both of them at the time probably had a lot of pent up aggression. I pitied whoever frustrated them.

Entering the bar, I noticed it was empty, with the hinges to the door creaking as I opened it. The wooden floorboards alerted whoever ran the bar, as I assessed the damage. A few broken stools, shattered bits of glass on the floor, some bloodstains, along with a few smashed tables. A familiar knife was left in the counter, with a few hundred dollars resting beside it. As I approached the knife, I recognized the long black blade, with the Blackwatch insignia resting on the hilt of it. Nathan must've taken it with him when he left Blackwatch. I placed my hand on it, pulling it out of the counter. He deserved to have it back. Maybe it could bring back memories to help convince him.

Nathan's name was engraved into the counter, proving my assumptions correct. I ran my hand along it, smiling, the thought that he was here not too long ago filling me with determination. My hand met a glass of now room temperature whiskey, Nathan's favorite.

The bartender exited the kitchen, as he scowled as he noticed me. "If you can't tell lady, we're closed." He grumbled, the wrinkles on his skin moving downward as his eyes narrowed, eyeing me closely. I offered a weak smile, pointing at the name engraved into his counter, and he raised an eyebrow. "You're searching for 'im, aren't you?" He asked, and I nodded. "Do you have any clue where he went?"

"No. He left a few hundred dollars and went back to his car with his daughter. The man left me to clean up his mess." He answered, and I smiled, amused by his assumption that Fareeha was his daughter. "I apologize. He can be rather aggressive. Did you see which way his car went?"

"He went up north along the road. He's probably not far, drank enough to knock any man I've met out cold." He said, wiping the blood off the counter with a wet towel. "You'd be surprised." I muttered. "Thank you, I'm sorry about the mess." I apologized once more, and he shrugged. "Ah it's fine. The little shits he beat up were asking for it. His daughter is not one to be messed with." He let an slight grin show, as his eyes met mine. I nodded. "No. No she is not."

I turned to exit, off to follow Nathan's path, but the man called out to me. "Hey! Let the guy know he still owes me. He's a few bucks short of the repairs." He said, and I chuckled. "I'll let him know. Danke schoen."

Withdrawing my phone, I called Nathan once more, heading to my car. As I sat down, I was surprised to hear him answer. "Yeah?" He asked, and I could overhear crowds cheering behind him. "Oh. I didn't expect you to answer." I admitted, feeling a bit awkward. "Yeah. Just hurry up and find me. I know you're coming anyways. Fareeha and I are almost there. I'll see you then, I suppose. We can figure this shit out." He muttered, as I heard him sigh.

"Is Fareeha okay?" I asked. "Yeah, yeah she's doing great. She's getting ready to join the army." He answered, and I giggled. "I expected that. Though I don't know what to tell Ana. She's not going to like this." I replied, and he snorted. "No. Not one bit. But I'll handle her. I'm proud of Fareeha. This is the right thing to do. It's her life."

"That it is. I hope she'll be okay." I muttered, and he chuckled. "I'd say she'll do great. I'll see you later I guess. Can't say I'm looking forward to it." He said bluntly, and I admired his honesty. "I understand. We'll talk later."

"Yeah."

Nathan's POV

We both exited the car, a feeling of bittersweet memories flooding both of us as we approached the building. This was where we needed to be. This was why we came out here. This whole pursuit of happiness was for this. I could only imagine how overwhelmed Fareeha must be feeling. I glanced at her, and she took a deep breath. I offered her a smile, and she returned the same.

"This is it. Hard to believe this is finally happening." She muttered, and I stepped towards her, nudging her shoulder. "Sure this is what you want?" I asked, trying to be certain this was right. She nodded quickly. "I'm sick of waiting. Sick of hiding. I will flee no more."

"Alright. Then I won't keep you any longer. This is your moment kid." I replied, and she grinned, reminiscing about something, as she shook her head in amusement.

"Those months at Gibraltar and the Swiss base, they passed so quickly." Fareeha said, looking out into the distance, the sun beginning to set. I smiled, thinking of how stubborn and quick witted she was. Even now, I see her as a daughter of some sorts. I still see the little girl I first met those few years ago. I was proud.

"Remember me training on the pendulum? How I feared I'd never manage? Yet you forbade me from giving up." Fareeha said, and I chuckled, thinking of her swinging the dull wooden sword around for hand to hand combat, balancing on the planks of wood as she hacked at the pendulum that swung back and forth. Her strength was unquestionable, but she lacked the balance required to complete it, often falling and bruising herself. I remember one day, she tried to completely give up, snapping at me in frustration. I remained calm, and told her no. She couldn't leave until she got it right. We were up all night, until early in the morning, after hours of failed attempts, she finally got it right. Her footwork was amazing, as she hopped from one plank to another, no fear of falling down.

"How could I forget?" I smiled, looking at her. Fareeha laughed, but there was something she was holding back. Like she was afraid. "You alright?" I asked, and she sighed, folding her arms. "I'm just nervous. What will people think when they find out who I am? The public always wanted me to be 'lady', and be kind and beautiful. But I just want to be a soldier. What if they treat me differently?" She asked.

I sighed, understanding her fears. "They won't. Once you show them your skills and discipline, they'll treat you like all the rest. Trust me, you'll make it." I assured her, but she clenched her fists, still scared. "But what if I'm not good enough? What if they don't want me?"

"They will. You're damn near good enough to take me down." I responded, and I stepped towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You'll be fine. You're an Amari." I smirked, as she giggled, turning to me, her smile fading quickly.

"How do you do it? How do you always manage to pull yourself together, even in the worst of times?" She asked, and I frowned, walking a few steps away, as she turned to face me as I was behind her. I ran my hand along the hood of the car, gathering the snow in my hands, bundling it into a ball. "There's a certain ancient method. Angela taught it to me."

I smirked, turning to her, as she frowned. I threw the snow into her face, as she stumbled back. She giggled, and I smiled at her. "You'll regret that!" She said in between laughs, leaning down to gather snow into her hands. "Show me whatcha got!"

Fareeha threw a snowball my way, and I dodged it, responding with a snowball of my own. It hit her leg, my deadly accuracy with a gun coming in handy. She hurled a large one my way as I bent down to pick up more snow, hitting me in the cheek, as she laughed, causing me to smile. It was good to see her lighten up. I laughed myself, tossing one her way, and she dodged it.

When we were done, we found ourselves covered in snow, my coat now a bright white, rather than a light brown. There were flurries of snow in my beard and hair, making me look less grizzled and more like Santa Claus. My pants were soaked, as I shivered, the cold air blowing by not helping. Fareeha had clumps of snow stuck in her black hair, along with white covering her sun kissed skin, snow on the tip of her nose, covering her now rosy cheeks.

I laughed, as I hugged her. "You feel better?" I grinned, and she nodded. "Yeah. I'll be back soon. Just gotta sign up." She answered, and I nodded. "Go get em kiddo."

She smiled, walking in the other direction to enter the building, covered in posters, encouraging people to sign up. With her back turned, a mischievous smirk met my lips, as I bent down to gather more snow, planning on hitting her. As I raised my hand to throw it, she raised her finger, not even looking. "Put it down." She ordered, and I laughed, dropping it to the ground.

Wiping the snow off my shoulders and arms, I sat down on the hood of the car, staring off at the sun as it slowly fell behind the tall mountains. I withdrew a cigar, trying to calm my nerves, remembering that Angela was on her way here to drag me back to Overwatch. And as if on cue, as I ignited my cigar, inhaling, I heard a voice come from behind me as a car door shut. "Those will kill you ya know."

I exhaled, the smoke traveling into the air. "That's what I'm hoping for." I replied, and Angela stepped beside the car I sat on, looking at me. I growled, leaning down towards her. "So. Here to convince me to come join Overwatch? Join some noble cause?" I asked, and Angela glanced towards the building Fareeha entered, turning her attention back to me. "Fareeha signing up? Not going with her?" She asked, and I shrugged.

"Can't take her seriously if I hold her hand." I replied, and she chuckled, sitting on the hood of the car beside me. "Good decision." She said, and I nodded. "Probably the first good one I've made to you." I snarked, and she sighed, looking at me. "That's not true. I just feel like you have-"

"Why did you come here? Haven't you ruined my life enough already?" I interrupted her, and she frowned, pausing. "I...I came to apologize. I shouldn't of said what I did. I was just caught up in the heat of the moment, and I was stressed out. I want what's best for you, but I didn't show it properly. I'm sorry."

I grunted, exhaling another puff of smoke. "Yeah. It's alright." I muttered in response, and Angela smiled. "I'm glad you can forgive me. Trust me, when we get back to base I can-"

"Who said I was coming back? I was just hearing you out. I'm not coming back with you. I can't just join Overwatch." I cut her off once more, and she frowned. "Why not? What is holding you back? What keeps you from becoming something better?" She asked, and I hopped off the car, turning to her. "You." I answered.

"You hold me back. I could be living a perfectly normal life if not for you. I could have my own house back. I could rest easy knowing I'm not risking my life everyday. I could finally relax, settle down. But you just come back and destroy everything!"

"Jesse came with me to get you. He got you back into this mess just as much as me!" Angela defended herself, but I quickly responded. "Overwatch knew I wouldn't come back. So they sent you! They sent you to hook me back into this shit. They knew how I felt about you! Jesse understood my position. But you. You wanted me to turn into some messiah. Some hero. That's not who I am!" I snarled, as she stood from the car, now joining this mostly one sided argument.

"It is! You are a hero! You just deny it for some reason! You push it away like...like some stray dog you found on the road! This is your life, just as much as mine! You can't seriously be blaming me for what's happened to you?!"

"I almost DIED! And that was YOU! All fucking YOU! Your job, your problems, your fucked up life! NOT MINE!" I yelled, jabbing my finger in her face accusingly, face becoming red with anger. Angela backed up, surprised by my outburst of hatred. "Alright?"

Angela stared down at the ground in shame, sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry Nathan. I'm sorry." She apologized, and I sighed, realizing I may have blamed her for something she wasn't responsible for. She didn't deserve that. It was just as much me as it was her. This is my life, as much as I hate to say it. These were my problems. These were my friends. This was my family.

"I-I didn't mean to...look, I'm sorry Angela. I don't know what to say. I should be apologizing to you. You've been juggling all these problems and I've just been fucking up. I took all my anger out on you, and you didn't deserve it. You're right. This is who I am. Maybe Overwatch is the best thing for me. But I just don't think they'll accept me." I explained, and she looked up at me.

"We have to try. You belong with us. Overwatch could use you." Angela replied, and I sighed, barely able to contain my emotions. "I could use you."

Our eyes met for a moment, and I felt the same love I did when I first met her. My hand met her cheek, as I smiled. "Alright. We'll try." I agreed, and she smiled.

As we leaned in, I noticed Fareeha exit the building, as Angela and I quickly separated. "Angela?" Fareeha asked, surprised to see her here. "Hello Fareeha. How are you?" She greeted, and Fareeha raised an eyebrow, looking at me. "I'm fine. What are you doing here?"

"I came back to get Nathan." She answered, and Fareeha frowned. "But he's coming with me. He's gotta take me somewhere." She answered, though not trying to give away what she was doing. "I know. I'll accompany you on your way. I trust you're sure you want to join the army?"

"I'm sure. How's my mother?" Fareeha asked, showing concern about her mother for the first time since we left. "She's worried about you. I doubt she approves of this, but Nathan and I will convince her. I'm sure she'll come around." Angela assured her, and Fareeha nodded, smiling. "It's good to see you. I know I'm gonna miss you." Fareeha replied, and Angela nodded. "I know everyone back at base will miss you as well."

"Yeah." Fareeha muttered. A silence overcame us, and I cleared my throat, turning to Fareeha. "You ready to go, sport?" I asked, and she nodded quickly. "Alright. Let's get going."

Later...

We stopped inside, having passed security to get in. I filled out a good bit of paperwork, and Fareeha signed up, handing her forms to the men inside. They welcomed us in, and I drove down to the aircraft they told me to. We stayed silent the whole way there, taking the moment in. I felt so many mixed emotions at the same time. Sadness. Happiness. Pride. I hoped that this made Fareeha feel fulfilled. The pursuit was coming to an end, and I felt tears build up.

As we exited the vehicle, stopping nearby the aircraft that would take Fareeha away, I handed the young lady her bags, feeling like a dad sending his daughter off to college. Angela was the first to initiate a goodbye of sorts, pulling the younger woman into a tight hug, smiling. "I'm proud of you, Fareeha. I'll miss you." She said, and Fareeha sniffed, tears threatening to fall.

"You too Angie. Take good care of the others for me, will you?" Fareeha smiled, and Angela nodded. "Of course. You'll see them again soon, I promise."

"Thanks Angela. It means a lot to me."

Fareeha turned to me, smiling. I grunted, trying to prevent myself from crying. "This is it kiddo. End of the road." I said, and she frowned. She was confused by something. "You're really letting me go? You actually want this?" She asked, and I frowned. "Why would I not let you go Fareeha? I trust you. I'm proud of you." I replied, and she scowled. "You're not going to stop me? Take me back to my mother by force?" She pointed back to where we came from, tears forming in her eyes. I sighed. "I traveled around half the world with you. But I never intended to force anything on you." I answered, and she smiled. "Oh come here you old lug."

She rushed into me, hugging me, as I tightened my grip on her, not wanting to let go. I felt the urge to give her something. I couldn't just let her go. I needed her to remember me.

Withdrawing one of my revolvers from the car, I took a long look at it, running my hand along it, feeling the familiar scratches and blemishes. I handed it to her, smiling. Fareeha stared at it, her hands hovering around it, gently touching it. "This...this is-"

"It's yours now. You like it?" I asked, and she grinned, nodding. "It's beautiful. But..but this is yours. You've had it for years." She refused, offering it back. I shook my head. "I want you to have it kiddo. It'll help you remember me by." I said, and she placed her hand on the hilt, finger on the trigger, aiming down the sights. Just like I taught her. "May I?" She asked, wanting to try it out.

"Not here. You'll have ample opportunity to test it out later, _soldier._ " I placed emphasis on the last word, grinning at her. She smiled, pulling me into another hug, crying into my shoulder. "Thank you, Nathan. This means everything to me."

"I'll miss you kiddo. Don't be a stranger, alright?" I said, and she giggled. "I promise. Good luck, Nathan. With everything." She said, and I nodded. "Thanks. Stay safe. We'll miss you." I waved, as she began to walk away, and Angela stepped towards me, taking my hand in hers. I watched as she went, sobbing softly, though still smiling. Fareeha looked back one more time, offering a bright smile, waving. Angela and I returned the same, as Fareeha exhaled, before moving forward once more.

I didn't want to leave. I wanted to watch, make sure she was alright. I had grown so attached to her over the years, and I found myself unable to stop myself from crying, Angela hushing me, offering me a smile. I felt her nudge me, and I looked up, watching as Fareeha boarded the aircraft, saluting the man inside. The hatch began to close, as it lifted off the ground. "Look."

"Our little Fareeha has turned into a young lady." Angela grinned, and I grunted, smiling, holding her close.

"How 'bout that."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Homecoming

Angela's POV

I found myself watching the man as he moved briskly through the hallways, his brows furrowed and determination in his eyes, along with his hands stuck strictly at his sides as he strut forward. Nathan hadn't really talked much on our ride back to base, and I wondered what exactly was on his mind. Was that determination, or was he infuriated about something I didn't know? Either way it troubled me, my worried mind always on the run, much like Nathan at the moment. It could be Fareeha he's thinking about, and how he's going to handle Ana's reaction. That was something I hope to avoid. Or maybe he was concerned about the trial we were rushing to attend, about to be late. Quite possibly a mixture of all of them.

Nathan continued forward, scowl on his face, the beard he had accumulated over months of inactivity moving along with his lips as he mumbled things to himself. I kept up the pace, right behind him as he opened the door to his room, stepping inside. He glanced at the clothes I had laid out for him on the bed, but stopped, staring at his room in its entirety. He exhaled, a smile coming to his lips, but it quickly vanished as he realized the rush we were still in. I wish I could've given him time to explore his room once more. The man probably had so many emotions rushing through him at once I was surprised he could stay so focused. I suppose I rubbed off on him a little.

He quickly slipped out of his jacket, throwing his shirt and pants to the ground, not concerned with the fact I was still in the room. I'd seen his body many times during physicals and...other occasions.

He was in the middle of sliding into the black dress pants I had laid out for him when Ana burst into the room, both of her eyes locked on his. Nathan gulped nervously, offering a light smile, though it was soon slapped off of him by Ana. He held his cheek in pain as she began to scold him. All I could do was watch. I didn't know what to say. "What were you thinking?! Where is my daughter?! Nathan if she is even so much as uncomfortable where she is right now you will never see the light again, I promise you that! Where is Fareeha?!"

Nathan maintained his composure for once, surprising me. I expected him to snap, but he kept his cool. He spoke softly, taking off his hat and setting it on the bed behind him. "She's in the army." He answered, gaining a swift punch to the gut, causing him to bend over in pain. "What?!"

He tried to catch his breath, but it was no use, being slapped once more. "Stop hitting me!" He struggled against her assault, and I stood up to stop them both and remind them why we were here. "Captain Amari, stop!" I yelled. The woman's attention turned to me, as she took a step towards me. I backed up a bit, as she frowned. "And you! You were supposed to bring him back by yesterday! Yet from what I can tell, you helped him! You didn't stop him! You let him take my daughter into the army!"

"I didn't take anything!" Nathan shouted, and we both stared at him, silent. "Fareeha wanted this. This is her life, and you can't keep her from doing what she wants. We both knew it was inevitable, Ana. I took care of her, and I've grown to love her like a daughter. I promise you, if I was even a little uncertain of what she really wanted, she'd be here with me."

"You knew I didn't want that and you went against my wishes anyways. I thought I could trust you with my daughter. Apparently not. Yet I'm still expected to help try and convince Mr. Petras to allow you to join Overwatch. Over my dead body." Ana spat, and Nathan frowned, nodding, understanding. Ana turned to storm out of the room, before Nathan caught her attention. "Ana!"

"Fareeha means so much to me. And I know she means even more to you. But please, trust me when I say this, she truly wanted this. It's been her dream ever since she was a child. It wasn't some childish way to rebel against you. I know you never wanted this life for her, but it's the one she chose. I hope you can accept that. I hope you can understand why I let her go. And I hope that, even though she disobeyed you, Fareeha can still make you proud."

A silence came between all of us, as I looked at Nathan, his eyes locked with Ana's, his sincerity unquestionable. I smiled at him. He handled it very well, better than I expected, as Ana's eyes softened, as she sighed. "I know I don't deserve this. I know I don't deserve anything you've all given me. But Ana, I truly hope when I head through those doors in a few minutes, I'll find you beside me. The odds aren't exactly in my favor, but when have we ever had luck on our side?" He grinned, thinking about all the missions he'd been on, and the experiences he's shared with Ana and the others.

Ana walked away, not another word spoken, as Nathan turned back to his bed, catching the looks I was flashing him. He frowned, confused. "What?" He asked, and I smirked, standing up from my seat. "Nothing." I answered, and he scoffed, reaching for the light blue dress shirt, and the tie along with it. "I've got to go stall for you, try and get you a few more minutes. Don't waste time, the trial is already in session." I urged him, exiting the room, heading towards my destination, before stopping as I heard him call my name.

"Angela!" He yelled, stepping out of the room, shirt completely unbuttoned, exposing his chest and abdomen. I looked at him, and he smiled. "Thank you. For everything."

I smiled, though I tried to hide my happiness, trying to emphasize how much he needed to hurry, but I couldn't help but find him so adorable at the time. His messed up hair, big, almost innocent looking eyes staring back at me, his smirk hidden by the stubble on his face. If time wasn't of the essence I would've went over there to hug him, and tell him he didn't have to thank me for anything. But instead, I nodded, smirking at him. "Get dressed. I'm certain Mr. Petras and the others wouldn't like to see your chest exposed." I joked, and he chuckled, as I turned around to leave. I could feel his eyes on me, as he stared. I didn't look back, hurrying over to the others.

We had an uphill battle to win.

Nathan's POV

The walk there was the most nervous I'd ever been in my life. My entire life hinges on how this whole trial goes. Any mistakes, slip ups, or even stupid rants, and my entire career here is over. Everything I've done. Everyone I've met. The family I've made, and the home I've built. I was going to fight for it.

Adjusting the collar to my dress shirt, I thought of everybody who helped me in my life. I wasn't alone in this fight. Jesse is my best friend, and he's always fought for me, never gave up. Jack has always seen potential in me, and tried to help me. Ana, although probably still furious with me, is like a mother to me, and has had my back since I first met her. Gabriel was the one to give me a shot. He gave me this chance. He took care of me, helped keep me alive, saved my ass countless times, offered advice, taught me lessons, and has been the ally I never even knew I had.

And Angela. She's my rock. And I have no clue why. All the times I snapped at her, yelled at her, called her the most vile things I could think of, yet she always looked out for me. Angela always saw the best in me, even when I didn't want her to. She stood by me more than anyone else, and I couldn't be more thankful. I just needed to figure out how to show her.

The double doors seemed heavy as I pushed them open, already hearing Jesse defending my absence. I smiled, a large room holding my friends, and Mr. Petras and two other figures I couldn't name. Mr. Petras seemed as bitter as usual, his eyes just as gray as his tufts of hair as he scowled at me, noticing me enter. I felt everyone in the room turn to me, including the two women beside Petras. I offered a charismatic smile, and muttered the three words that came to mind. "Sorry I'm late."

Taking my seat at the center of the room, having a whole table to myself, I analyzed the layout of the room. Beneath me was the Overwatch insignia, with sunlight shining down upon it from the windows. The table to my right held Jack, who wore his uniform, smiling at me. Gabriel was beside him, a smug grin forming when I nodded at him, adjusting the hoodie he wore. Reinhardt leaned over the table, hands as big as the length of the table, his white beard curving up with his lips. Much to my surprise, Ana sat there as well, offering me a warm look, though no smile. I felt relieved to see her. Her presence helped calm me.

In the table to my left, closest to Petras, sat Angela, offering me a wink as I sat down. Jesse was next, his dark brown eyes widening when he saw me, his hair slicked back, apparel similar to mine. Genji was there as well, lacking his faceplate. He was getting more comfortable with others seeing his face. It was good to see him smile, despite the scars. Lena grinned at me, and I returned the same.

Clearing his throat, Petras wasted no time getting down to business, as I placed my elbows on the table, folding my hands, meeting his eyes. "Mr. Parker, fashionably late as always." He grumbled, and I offered a smile. "Apologies. I was held up with some...personal matters." My eyes turned to Ana, though Petras didn't notice.

"I see. Well, I suppose we should get right into it. Nathan Parker, we are here today to discuss your position in this organization, and whether or not you can join a prestigious organization such as Overwatch." He spoke, and I nodded. "Would you like to say anything before we start?" He asked.

I shook my head, and he nodded, ruffling through the files on his desk as he sat across from me. "Nathan, we will begin with a few questions about what you've done in Blackwatch. We expect the truth, and only the truth. If you are caught in a lie, the consequences lie with you. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." I answered, and I let a nervous shiver go, before sighing. "Nathan, during your time in Blackwatch, you spent many nights drinking. Some have even labeled you an alcoholic. What do you say to these accusations?"

"I won't lie to you. I spent a lot of time getting drunk. I was rarely sober during the nights off. But... I don't know if you know this, I didn't exactly grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. When I was about eleven I lost my parents. I ended up burying them myself. I spent my years drifting in the Deadlock Gang, and I met Jesse there. But I wasn't happy. My alcoholism spawned from my past, and I found myself running away from it. Over the years, with the help of those around me, I've learned to face my fears, and tackle problems head on. I'm not completely sober, but I'm not nearly as bad as I was then. I'm not looking for your pity. I don't want it. I just want you to understand that."

Angela offered me a look that I couldn't decipher, though if I were to guess it was pride. Or happiness. Petras seemed satisfied with the answer, moving on. The woman beside him, adjusting her glasses, flipping her short black hair to the side, staring me down.

"Nathan, over the years, you've gained quite the reputation around the organization. The media is fascinated with you, you have adoring fans who still know little about you, and your accomplishments in Numbani are some of the most heroic tales Overwatch has to offer. Yet despite all of that, you've shown clear signs of recklessness, lack of patience, and aren't exactly good with reporters. How are we to allow someone with your reputation in to Overwatch?" She asked, and I had to admit, she had a good point. A question I asked myself many times these last few days.

"If I'm being honest, I don't have a definitive answer to that question. I've spent years here, and I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. More than most people. But I'm learning. With the help of people like Captain Amari, Lena and Angela, I am starting to get a hang of this whole fame thing." I said, offering a light smile, though not gaining one in response. I decided to continue. "I'm not here to tell you I'm perfect. I'm here to tell you I'm growing. I'm learning how it feels to have people you can depend on. To have a family. To save people. To love." I couldn't help but glance at Angela, who avoided my gaze to not blush.

She studied me, as if trying to find the sincerity in my words through my eyes, as I sat in silence.

"Nathan, we're going to ask the others around you how they feel about you. They volunteered to voice their opinions about you, and placed your name forward as a recruit in Overwatch. We'd like to give them a chance to express their opinions and share their own experiences with you." Mr. Petras explained, and I nodded, as they motioned to Jack, who began.

"I won't lie to you all. When I first met Nathan, I thought he was a delinquent. Some gang member who'd never risk his neck for anyone. Nathan quickly proved me wrong. He demonstrated not only his skill with a weapon, but his courage. His leadership. You all know what he did in Numbani. He protected his team, risked his life to save others. He fought Akande Ogundimu by himself, just to buy us enough time to take him down. Nathan has his faults. We all do. But if you were to ask me who I truly believe is a good man, I'd quickly name him. His courage, his charisma, and his aim, are an inspiration to us all."

Our eyes met, and I was surprised to hear that from him. Everything he said, I couldn't believe it. To think that when I first met him, I thought he was like all the rest. That he was some snobby, corrupt commander who gave zero fucks about those working for him. I guess we both proved the other wrong.

"Would anyone else like to share something?" Petras asked, and Gabriel stood up, everyone focusing on him.

"Nathan Parker. What can I say about this kid that hasn't been said before? I haven't met anyone quite like him in my life. I could tell when I first walked in to that interrogation room over two years ago that he was different. He could tell right from wrong, just got mixed up with the wrong crowd. Nathan, he's a true friend. We've had fights. We've argued. But no matter how tense we may get with one another, there was always that mutual respect. And I can't encourage you enough to allow Nathan to join. He's worked his ass off for this. He's proven how strong he is. He earned his place in Blackwatch, with the odds stacked against him. He's the kind of kid we praise and always say we'd recruit but seldom do. Mr. Petras, it would be a shame to let all that talent, and intelligence go to waste."

I kept my mouth shut, ignoring the urge to thank him, for everything he did. Everything he's done for me. He deserved the praise, not me. But I stayed quiet, listening as Petras asked for any others to say anything. Ana spoke shortly, her eyes meeting mine.

"Jack and Gabriel took the words right out of my mouth. He's always seen the best in people. He accepted people for who they truly are, even when they won't accept him. He's the kind of person we need in an organization like this." Ana said, clearly referring to Fareeha.

I smiled at her, as she returned the same. I was glad she could understand why I let her daughter go. It's hard to know she's going against her wishes, but it's what the girl truly wanted. I could tell. As Mr. Petras asked for any others, Jesse stood up abruptly, his eyes meeting mine.

"Nathan deserves to be in Overwatch. More than anyone I can think of. He's shown what he can do, on an' off the field. Ya can't deny it. I remember, when were younger, still growing up in Deadlock, I lost my hat on a tram like an idiot. I was already accepting it was gone, but while I was busy having a pity party, Nate was tracking down every tram, using every map, finding the schedule for every train, staying up all night to track it down. He figured it out, and walked twenty miles...in the pourin' rain to get it. He was only fourteen. At that age, I was still concerned with becoming some cowboy like in the movies. He came back to me that night, and handed me my hat like it ain't nothin'..." Jesse said, as the others all stared at him, smiling. I grinned, reminded of that night. The rain was freezing cold, but it was worth it. We were brothers, and I'd be damned if we'd have to buy another hat.

Jesse met my eyes, smiling at me, shaking his head. "It was that night, I figured out how special he was. Nate ain't s'posed to be stuck in Blackwatch as some grunt. He's s'posed to be out there saving people, and representing the best humanity has to offer. An' if you can't see that, you're blind."

He sat back down, not another word to say. "Thank you, for voicing your opinions. We will discuss our decision, and you will be called back in a few minutes to-"

"Wait." I interrupted them, having found it impossible to keep my mouth shut. The people who really deserved the praise were those around me. I couldn't let it go unrecognized. I won't take the credit for it.

"Everyone around me deserves the praise, Mr. Petras. This wasn't me. I wouldn't be here if not for them. I'd be in Deadlock, or sulking about my past decisions in some lonely apartment. It's them that always brought me back, and brought out the best of me. A..a part of me I'd never seen. They-they didn't judge me. They showed me how it felt to have family. They protected me. Reinhardt saved my life in my third mission. He always taught me about honor. He taught me to shield those who can't shield themselves. Jack...he proved me wrong about this place. He cares about those around him. He's a true leader. Genji, he's had my back for a while now, and always tolerated my jokes and my antics. And he deserves better." I laughed, looking at him.

"I...I can't tell you how thankful I am. Lena...you've been such a good friend. You're everything that's good in this world, and you know you can always count on me. Jesse's been my friend since we were kids..." I continued, feeling tears well up in my eyes. "He's the reason I'm here in the first place. He told them to give me a chance. He gave me this second shot at life. I can't ever repay him for it. Captain Amari, she's like a mother to me, and hasn't ever given up on me, and I hope I can make her proud. Gabriel, he took me in under his wing, made me his protégé, showed me the ropes. And I've never treated him with the respect he deserves for putting up with my shit for this long."

"And..and Angela, she brought me back here. She's saved my life countless times, and never even asked for a favor in return. Even after everything I've said, after every time I snapped at her, she still cared about me. And I have no clue why. I don't deserve it..." They were all staring now, Angela especially, as I wiped the tear that rolled down my cheek. "What I'm trying to say...and very poorly..." I joked, smiling, the tears in my eyes drying. "Is that the real heroes are around me. They're my family. They...they let me build a home here. This is my home. I miss being around minds like Gabriel Reyes, or Amari or Morrison. I think, if I can get a couple more years of that...I'll have a good shot at making some better choices than I did before."

The silence after my rant was killing me, as I watched with eager eyes, anticipating their next move. Mr. Petras hid a smile, as I looked at everyone around me. All looks of pride, happiness, love, friendship. Gabriel smirked at me, as I realized what I confessed. I suppose I got a little more emotional than usual. I don't usually show my emotions, I feel too vulnerable. But...but I trusted them. I just did.

The meeting was adjourned for the moment, as we were forced to wait out in the hallway as they came to a conclusion. I couldn't help but feel nervous about it all, as the others smiled and hugged me. It felt good to be with them, even though it wasn't confirmed I'd even be back for good. But something about the way Petras and the others looked at me assured me everything would be alright. I could be with family again. Back home.

Gabriel and Jack told me it was all but confirmed that I'd be in Overwatch. I wasn't quite sure if I believed them, although I wanted to. I mostly kept to myself and stayed quiet while we waited for their decision. I was in the chair furthest along the row aligned with the walls of the hallway, arms folded, trying to stay calm. Reinhardt was busy planning out our celebration, which Jesse popped up and said was a great idea. Ana reminded them all it wasn't confirmed yet, but still smiled, liking the idea. Genji offered a few smiles, but stayed relatively quiet like me. I found Angela looking at me many times, and I couldn't tell what she wanted. I would've asked her if we were alone. Lena was of course her bubbly self, rarely shutting up about how much she looks forward to the induction ceremony. I laughed with her, hiding my worrisome thoughts.

But with how confident they all were in me, I couldn't help but find myself smiling and looking forward to my very possible future in Overwatch. I was busy daydreaming about how it would be when we were called back into the room. Letting an uneasy sigh slip out, following the others inside.

When we were all situated and ready to hear their decision, Jesse and Lena on the edge of their seats, I tapped my foot nervously. Mr. Petras stared at me while whispering to the others about their decision for what seemed like an eternity, and I couldn't help but feel queasy. By the time they began talking, I thought I was going to throw up.

"Nathan Parker, we have come to a decision. Let it be known that we acknowledge and appreciate all the hard work and dedication you've shown in the past two years in Blackwatch, and are glad to have had you. You've clearly gained the trust of your peers in Blackwatch and Overwatch, and your speech was very moving. Your courage, bravery, intelligence, and raw talent is something we simply can't deny. That is exactly what Overwatch is looking for." He explained, and I smiled, letting a sigh of relief escape me, sharing excited glances with those around me.

"But..."

I gulped nervously, my heart dropping upon hearing that one word.

"Your inability to value and respect our rules and procedures here in Overwatch cannot go unpunished. You've shown a clear lack of respect towards your commanding officers, disobeyed direct orders, and left Blackwatch months ago. You've gotten drunk, acted irresponsibly and jeopardized an event you hosted with your outbursts. You simply cannot control yourself. You were given your chance to join Overwatch once before, and you didn't seize the opportunity. We cannot play favorites and give you a second chance. I'm sorry, but you will not be joining us. You will instead be reinstated into Blackwatch, and are expected to follow direct orders under Commander Reyes. You will receive your own room and office in compensation, and you are now an officer in Blackwatch for your accomplishments. Thank you for your service, Agent Parker. This meeting is adjourned."

I sat there in silence, listening to the sound of mumbling coming from the others and the sound of chairs being pushed back into the table. I heard their footsteps walk along the hard reflective tiles towards me, as Petras and the others exited. Sympathetic and disappointed glances were sent my way as I felt my breathing hitch, realizing what just happened.

I was sent right back to Blackwatch. They didn't want me. I had blown my chance to join already, and this was all for nothing. I won't get to be one of the heroes. Instead I'll be stuck in Blackwatch, working undercover, hiding in the shadows, manipulating and interrogating innocent bystanders, and murdering anyone I'm ordered to. Why was I so bothered by it now? I never would've even hesitated a year ago to be given this opportunity. I'm not some grunt anymore. I have an office, and my own room. I'll be giving orders. I'll have my recognition. But it all just felt so...anticlimactic. Like this was all for nothing. All the emotions I poured out, the encouragement from the others, the growth I've shown. I did it for nothing.

Feeling a hand grip my shoulder softly, I saw Gabriel looking down at me, whispering. "C'mon kid. Let's go." He urged, and I stood up in response, nodding, eyes staring down at the floor as we exited the room. I was surrounded by everyone offering sympathy and support, but I felt so alone. I just felt...indifferent. Unaffected by it all. Angela met my eyes for a moment, understanding every emotion I felt, as I left the crowd of friends behind.

I kept quiet, heading towards my new office, exhausted and mentally drained. I placed my hand on the automated security system, as it read my fingerprint, the door opening automatically. Sighing, I listened as Athena spoke through the intercom on the security system. "Welcome, Agent Parker." I grimaced, leaving the door open behind me, as I ran my hand along the desk, monitors and holovids surrounding me. I sat down, placing my hands in my lap, looking at the plaque on my desk, reading 'Nathan Parker.'

"Welcome back Nathan. It's good to have you here." I heard Winston say, though lacking excitement, probably already hearing the news about what happened. I smiled, happy to hear him.

"Thanks buddy."


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey guys, before I start this chapter I'd like to thank you all for the support and reviews. It makes me happy to know I can make others happy as well with my writing. There simply isn't anything else that gives me the same excitement and satisfaction. This chapter is going to start a new subplot that I admittedly hadn't planned when I first started this. I always wanted to find a way to write a good mystery in this story, but never thought of a good way to do it. The next few chapters will follow Nathan as he is dragged down into the rabbit hole of madness as he follows a serial killer, trying to piece together the clues, though always feeling one step behind them. He is going to learn how it feels to be consumed by work, and end up neglecting his own needs and friendships to find the killer. I hope you all will enjoy, and be sure to review and give me your thoughts and feedback on what you'd like to see.**

Chapter 28: Through the Valley

 _I walk through the valley of the shadow of death_

 _And I fear no evil because I'm blind to it all_

 _My mind and my gun they comfort me_

 _Because I know I'll kill my enemies when the come_

 _Surely goodness and mercy will follow me, all the days of my life_

 _And I will dwell on this earth forever more_

 _I walk beside the still waters and they restore my soul_

 _But I can't walk on the path of the right, because I'm wrong_

The stench of blood filled my nostrils, the alley drenched in mud, rainwater, and blood as it began to form puddles around my feet and where the victims lay, eyes staring up into the night sky lifelessly, mouths agape, looks of fear and pure terror frozen on their face. I shook my head, having analyzed the scene that lied before me for hours, trying to scrounge up and piece together any clues I could find. The sick bastard responsible for this deserved justice.

Grunting, I decided to analyze the scene once more, in hopes of finding a clue I overlooked. My eyes began to scan the ground, the blood beginning to dry, crunching as I placed my boot over it, revolvers in my holsters jingling as I did. I smiled, thinking about Fareeha and the gift I gave her, hoping everything was going well. At least better than it is for me.

I took another whiff of the air, coughing as I did, disgusted by it, though picking up a scent. It was a smell of an oddly familiar cologne, causing me to search through my memories to find out who it was. I knelt down, looking at the woman in front of me, her arms splayed out, multiple stab wounds present in her chest. She fought back though, clear signs of a struggle on her clothes, along with bruises and cuts on her arms, probably defending herself from the armed attacker in hopes of escaping the killer's clutches. Obviously it didn't work out, marks along her neck. She was strangled. I had already scanned for any traces of blood or fingerprints of the person responsible, though I found nothing. With a disheartened sigh, I moved towards the other victim a few feet away.

This one was an omnic, though it was hard to tell at times. If I hadn't been told already by a police officer, I'd have figured it was litter left on the streets. Leaning down to examine him once more, I placed a hand on what remained of his mangled head, bits of scrap metal sent everywhere during the gruesome murder. Oddly enough, only the head remained, the body having been taken somewhere. I wondered what for. Some twisted trophy maybe? Or a way to hide the killer's tracks? Perhaps both.

Shaking my head, I moved to the final victim, who was leaning against the now bloodied wall of the alley, the back of his head split in, probably slammed against the wall. Hard too. His black hair was soaked in blood, as I lifted his head from the wall, bits of flesh and bone coming up with it, as his body slumped over, eyes falling to my boots. The man was terrified when he died, having soiled his pants when he died, or just before it. Either way understandable. He was unarmed, barely put up a fight, though he had bruised knuckles, so he must've struck the attacker a few times. Lifting his head up to look at him, his jaw slacked, mouth open, a good bit of his front teeth missing, gums still bleeding, bits of broken teeth lodged in his throat. I shook my head once more, feeling my lunch threaten to come back up. I'd seen some shit in my time, but this was something else.

The person responsible was clearly deranged, a lack of patterns in the way they killed, and reason. That made it extremely difficult to try and get a sense of who they would attack next, and why. I was lead to believe the killer only planned on killing the woman, but killed the two witnesses as well. I had a lack of answers as to why they did this, each new clue I found answering one question, but leaving several new ones behind.

I stood up, adjusting my hat, before feeling a drop of water hit my arm. Looking up at the sky, I noticed rain begin to fall down, as I shuddered, pulling the cloak on my shoulders and uniform closer, planning on leaving the scene practically empty handed. I'd have to disappoint Gabriel for the moment and wait for further inspection into the victims personal lives and what could've led to their painful demise.

Sighing, I closed my eyes, looking up at the sky, allowing the rain to hit my face, trying to wash away the nightmares I was preparing to have tonight because of this. The thought that who ever did this was still roaming the streets bothered me, and any future victim's blood would be on my hands. As if I didn't have enough of that. I suppose it'll be another night of me sitting alone in my office, pondering my choices. It had been a few weeks since I came back to Blackwatch, and I was getting used to seeing everyone again. They had been tiptoeing around me though, sensing the bitterness I burrowed deep down in myself. I usually found myself huddled in my chair behind my desk, scowling at the ceiling, doing nothing. Other nights though, I had a few drinks with Lena and Jesse, who were welcoming me back in their own way. Angela had spoken with me a few times, though nothing too dramatic, just us catching up. Ana and I had a long chat one night about Fareeha, who she was still worried about, though not as much as before. Gabriel and Jack simply let me do my work, which hasn't been much besides this. This was the only interesting thing really, as fucked up as that is to say.

Opening my eyes, the shadow of someone peering over the edge of a rooftop caught my eye as lightning flashed, the silhouette of them slipping behind cover quickly. They were hoping I wouldn't find them, though curious enough to spy on my investigation. I immediately pictured the person behind all this stalking me, as I sprinted over to the ladder that led to the multiple flights of stairs on each floor of the apartment building. The metal was slippery, but I refused to slow down, hell bent on catching the culprit. As I arrived at the top, I stopped, noticing the person ready themselves to swing at me.

Before I could draw my revolvers and fire, I dodged the man's strike, shoving him with my shoulder to provide proper room for me to aim at him. Though I felt him grip my arm, gloves on his hands, still covered in blood, soaking wet from the rain. He slung me to the ground with ease, shockingly strong, my guns sliding to the floor as I felt him jump on me, his large hands gripping my neck, planning on strangling me like the woman below us. Rain poured down, obscuring my vision, though I could get a faint glance at his mask. It was large, and golden, covering his face, tufts of brown hair similar to mine tucked behind the metal mask, cool to the touch as I tried to rip it off amidst the struggle. It had a smile carved into it, empty eyes hiding the person behind it, with rosy cheeks decorating it. The eyes were as curved as the smile, as they stared at me, large smile sending shivers down my spine. (If you need an image, think of Ana's Year of the Rooster skin. Terrifying right?)

He wore a hood, along with a white trench coat over it, bangs of hair just barely sticking out of the opening between his mask and hood. He banged my head against the concrete roof of the building, as I grasped his hands, pulling him close and head butting him, feeling the mask slam into my forehead. I ignored the blood that flowed down my forehead, kicking him off me. He fell to his back, as I reached for my guns, which had been knocked out of my hands when I tried to shoot. The burly man dashed for the guns as well, kicking them aside. Picking me up by the throat, he squeezed hard, smile haunting me as I struggled, kicking and choking. I heard him grunt, shaking his head as I tried to remove his mask once more. A chuckle escaped him, amused. "Not yet. No...not yet. Impatient. Just how I remembered..."

My eyes widened. 'Like he remembers?! Not yet?! The hell is this lunatic on about?!' The thought came to me, as he slammed me into the ground, head crashing into the roof again. I could feel the blood rushing through my head, shock and confusion flowing through me as he overwhelmed me, punching me several times. As I lay there, dazed, I noticed him withdraw a needle, an unfamiliar liquid inside. I squirmed under his grip, but he hushed me, inserting it into my neck. I winced, feeling the liquid be pumped into my veins. My eyes grew heavy, as the masked man leaned down, empty eyes staring at me, the large smile fading, as I felt myself fall asleep.

Later...

I snapped awake, the man haunting my dreams as I gasped for air. My hand snapped to my neck, feeling the small incision made from the needle. The rain had stopped, and the moon offered the only source of light in the night sky, as I coughed, throat sore from the fight with the man, my mind confused, and dazed. Who was that man? Why didn't he kill me? What did he mean not yet? Like he remembered? I scrambled to my feet, stumbling a few times. Bending down, I noticed a piece of paper under my foot.

Picking it up, my eyes scanned it. It smelled the same as the cologne I could make out earlier.

'14. 1. 23. 9. 10. 19. 5. 12. 15. 14.'

I growled, confused as to what it meant. Did the killer leave this here on purpose? He must've. Why? What the hell did it even mean? It was just some random numbers, in no particular order or meaning, the same as his murders. But there had to be something. Concentrating, I stared at the paper, grip tightening in anger, before I sighed, stuffing the paper into my pocket, giving up. I'd figure it out when I get back. I could use some help with it anyways.

Descending the stairs, I walked through the streets below, becoming sidetracked, figuring I'd return to my car so I could drive to the aircraft I took here later. Instead, I wandered the streets of London, which in any other case I may have enjoyed, if it weren't for all the shit going through my head at the moment. I kept my hands in my pockets, moving through the crowds, head down, not paying much attention. I continued forward, mind focused on the numbers rather than walking. '14. 1. 23. 9. 10. 19. 5. 12. 15. 14.' The numbers echoed in my head as I tried to make sense of them, having already memorized them. What was the meaning behind them? Why was it left behind? Was it some kind of coordinates? Or was it just left near me to fuck with my head?

Stopping, I found myself inside a bar soon enough, the thought of a drink comforting me. It could help keep the thoughts from coming. Knocking a few back would have to do as a way to drown out everything I felt inside. Confusion. Anger. Disgust. Curiosity. Determination. And above all, an all mighty thirst.

Sitting down in the corner of the bar, already asking the bartender for a drink, I kept my head down, focusing on the paper I had. I paid no mind to the drunk characters around me, all focused on the holovids, watching multiple channels. Some sports, some news. Sighing, I removed my hat, running a hand through my hair. The waitress, who was the same woman as the bartender, placed the drink on my table, offering me a bright grin. I mumbled my thanks, returning a smile as well, though struggling to do so. She returned to her spot behind the bar, washing the glasses and mugs, as I growled, rubbing my eyes in frustration.

What the fuck did this all mean? What the hell did the man want from me? Why did he kill those people? What did he gain from it? Why did he stalk me? Did he want me to see him? Why didn't he just kill me? Did he want me to try and find him? Was it some trap? Who was he after next? Did the numbers have anything to do with who it was? Were they some clue?

The questions flooded my mind as I sipped my drink, thinking about how fucked this situation actually was. Let's hope someone else back at base can make some sense of this.

Downing the rest of my drink, I felt the buzz kick in, grunting. I watched as the others in the bar began to get a little rowdy. A few in the back were slamming their knives into the table, growing impatient. It would be best if I left my tip on the table and got out of here. It wasn't my business, and I've brought enough attention on Blackwatch in my time with them. I decided against confronting them when I noticed them stand up, moving towards the bartender, the only person in here that could stop them.

She must've owned this place, and does most of the work around here. Either that or she's got some shit employees. I believed it was the former, though relatively surprised with how good the place was, even if she was one of the only people who ran the place. That encouraged me more to help her when the drunk men began blabbering about some poster she has. It was from Numbani, during their annual unity day, celebrating both humans and omnics. It was one of the only places in the world where man and omnic were considered equals. Of course it wasn't like that here in London. The tensions between the two factions only continued rising, with riots and violence going on in the streets, both sides doing unspeakable things to the other. The prejudice against omnics was apparent, as the men began speaking.

"Bring that poster down. They're a bucket o' bolts, nothin' more." He demanded, and I sighed, rolling my eyes in annoyance. My fingers clenched into a fist, and I prepared for a fight. "Bring it down, 'fore there's trouble." Another man threatened, and I stayed in my seat, watching carefully. This wasn't gonna end well.

"I lost my son to one of those bastards in the crisis! They don't belong! They deserve to be killed for what they did!" Another in the group said, and I sighed, feeling pity for them. But it wasn't the other omnics' fault. They can't be blamed for that. "You can't blame omnics who aren't responsible for your son's death. They have as much a right as any of us to live here." The woman defended herself, not backing down.

Before she could react, the man who spoke before gripped her throat, grabbing her head and slamming it into the counter in front of her. He continued doing so, as others laughed, as she struggled to escape his grasp. I stood from my seat, catching their attention as I spoke. "Let her go." I said, as they turned to me. "What?! You one o' those bot lovers? C'mon, let's teach pretty boy 'ere a lesson." One man said, others both in front of me and behind standing up. I was surrounded and outnumbered. But they were still outmatched.

The first charged me, arms spread out, as I met him head on, charging through him, knocking him right to the ground. Another swung a bat, as I caught it, smashing it into his nose, making him drop it as he fell back. I then cracked it over the first man's skull, knocking him out. Another few withdrew knives, as I dodged their swipes and stabs, though one managed to knock the bat out my hand. Before I could react, someone behind me held me back, preventing me from dodging. As one prepared to stab me, I sidestepped him, causing him to stab the man who held me. I spun around, pulling the knife out of his stomach, hearing him scream, before plunging it into his chest, as he spat blood onto my face. I felt myself snap, rage rushing through me.

I felt a knife prick me in the ribs, as I yelled, quickly yanking it out and throwing it at an attacker, lodging it deep into his throat. I kicked one before he could tackle me, pinning him against a wall, slicing his throat quickly, ducking as a man swiped at my chest. Smacking the knife out of his hand, I used him as a shield against one man, as he attempted to stab me, instead ramming it into his friend's jugular. He fell to the floor, choking on his own blood, distracting the man, allowing me to stab him in the chest, and twist, before ripping it out downwards, blood spewing into my coat and pants. The once brown wooden floor covered in red, as I flipped another man over a table, stomping his head into the floorboards. One man yelled, slicing at my throat, before I caught his arm, placing another behind it, snapping his elbow in two, causing him to yell in agony. I gripped him by the neck, slamming him into the wall, the poster that caused all this hitting the ground with a thump. His eyes met mine for a moment, before I lifted my knife, slamming it straight through his skull, pinning him to the wall like a mantle piece. His eyes rolled back, face contorting and muscles twitching as he died.

Turning around, I found the woman on the ground, clutching her bleeding nose in pain. I bent down, lending her a hand, as she crawled away in response, screaming in terror, my smile fading. "N...n-no! No! Please!" She yelled, as I reached out, eyes widening. "I'm not gonna hurt you..." I assured her, as she crawled backwards until she met a wall, grabbing a knife off the bloodied floor, holding it out in front of her in defense, her hand trembling in fear, knees shaking. "Y-you killed them!" She exclaimed, and I stopped, pulling my hand back, looking around the room. The floor was littered with bodies, blood coating the floor and walls. The man still hung pinned against the wall, my knife still stuck deep in his skull. I noticed my reflection in the window behind me, blood covering my face, my once dark uniform now red, still dripping down to the floor. My hands were covered in blood, as I noticed the monster I must've looked like. I was terrifying. I slaughtered them all. What had I done?

"I'm-" I began to speak, stopping, looking down in shame. I could never be a normal person to them. I could never fit in with a crowd. I was a freak. I was a murderer. A monster. The sooner I accepted that the better. I won't be able to change anyone's opinion on people like me. Who was I kidding? There isn't anybody like me.

"Please...go away...don't hurt me..." she pleaded, lip quivering in horror, as I realized what I did. I snapped, my anger and frustration from the killer being taken out on those not responsible. I didn't have to kill them. I could've taken them out mercifully. I chose to kill them. Why?

I stepped backwards, collecting my knife from the man's skull, watching as he fell forward to the ground, before leaving. I didn't bother looking back as I ran. I didn't have anything to run from. No one was pursuing me.

I was only running from myself.

Later...

I found myself staring at the paper once more today, as I didn't bother looking up as I stepped into my office, setting my hat, which had blood still clinging to it, along with the paper. I sighed, rubbing my eyes, getting ready to take a shower. Ignoring the multiple curious and disgusted looks on other people's faces as I passed them by towards my room, I shut the door behind me, and stripped out of my bloody clothes. Looking in the mirror, I paused, staring back at myself, the blood on my face beginning to dry. Only now did I realize how numb I'd gone to killing people. This was just my average day. Murder wasn't anything new. So why did this bother me so much?

Trying to keep my mind off of the events of today, I stepped into the shower, feeling the water run down my face, the blood trickling down into the drain. I closed my eyes, trying to keep the numbers off my mind. I could focus on it later.

But I suppose that isn't what's bothering me. It's that woman. The way she looked at me in pure terror, trembling, tears flowing down her face as she stared at me. I did it to protect her. I saved her life. But no matter how many times I told myself that, I couldn't help but hear her screams echo in my head, seeing her face even when I closed my eyes.

Along with that haunting image, I had this killer to deal with, his mask sending shivers down my spine each time I thought about it. I shuddered, shutting the water off, and stepping out, trying to stop thinking about it. But it's hard to do that when you know how dangerous he is, and what he does to people. I can still see the victim's cold, dead eyes as they stared at me. But was I any better than this killer? I massacred those people in that bar, and didn't even realize what I had done. I was just as brutal as that man. Hell I killed more people than he did. How could I say I'm any better? I can't fear him and the evil he's done when I've done the same thing, and become numb and blind to it all.

Slipping into much more comfortable and less bloody clothes, I stepped out of my room, heading back to my office. When I opened the door, I found Angela sitting at my desk, eyes flicking from the paper I brought in earlier to me, a grin forming on her lips. "What did I tell you about coming into my office?" I asked, sighing, walking over to her. She shrugged. "If you changed the passcode I wouldn't be able to get in." She suggested, and I smirked. "What else would you do in your free time then?" I teased, as she stood up, mere inches away from me.

She turned back down to my desk, looking at the paper. "What's that?" She asked, and I shook my head. "A clue. As to what it is trying to tell me, I have no idea. It could be some form of coordinates, or maybe a passcode. Maybe an address of some kind... I don't know." I admitted, and she frowned, scratching her head. "Hmm." Angela hummed, concentrating on it. "Very interesting. Perhaps it's translated into letters in the alphabet?" She said, and I nodded. "Could be."

Angela stepped aside, allowing me to sit at my desk, as I placed my head in my hands, groaning. Wincing, I stretched my back, feeling the stab wound in my ribs stretch with it. "Are you alright?" She asked, and I nodded, coughing, running a hand along my sore throat. "Yeah. Just a little sore." I bluffed, trying to not worry her. "Did you have a run in with the killer?"

I nodded, keeping silent, thinking about that mask, it's rosy cheeks, wide smile, and haunting eyes. 'Not yet. No...not yet.' His voice rang in my ears, as I tried to hide how shaken up I was feeling about the whole experience. "It's not that though. It's not what's bothering me." I admitted. Angela sat on my desk, crossing her legs, leaning down towards me. "Then what is?"

My eyes met hers, and I hesitated. "I-I did something bad. I...I killed-no...slaughtered people in a bar tonight. Something snapped in me, I-I don't know what I was doing. I didn't need to kill them...just hurt them. But I chose to. I wanted to. They were harassing the bartender sure but...but they didn't deserve to die. What's wrong with me?" I looked up at her, desperate for an answer of any kind. She frowned, shaking her head. "Well did they attack you? Were they armed?"

I slowly nodded, gulping, remembering every little detail of that moment. I could still feel the blood flowing down my hands. "Then it's not your fault." She assured me, but I didn't feel any better hearing that. "It's not the point. I wanted to help her. I wanted to save her. They were going to kill her, I'm sure of it. For once, I wanted to be the good guy. I wanted to know how it felt to save someone directly." I explained, staring at my hands as I did. "But you didn't see the way she looked at me when I went to help her up. The terror. There wasn't just fear behind her eyes, there was...actual hate."

Standing up, I shook my head, closing my eyes, trying to calm down and focus. Angela stepped towards me, looking into my eyes. "I...I just wanted to help." I muttered, as she pulled me into a tight hug, as I sobbed softly. "It's alright. You're fine, Nathan. You're fine." She assured me, patting my back.

We stood there in each other's arms for what felt like an eternity, as I slowly began to calm down, breaking from the hug. "Thanks...Angie. I appreciate it. I should get back to work." I muttered, trying to shrug my emotional outburst off. Angela's lips curved up into a smile for a moment, as she giggled. "You sounded a lot like me just then." She teased me, and I chuckled. She was right. I suppose she's rubbing off on me.

"You know you've got a big day tomorrow." Angela said, and I frowned, confused. "How so?" I asked, curious. "Wait, you really don't know?" She said, and I chuckled, though a little uneasy. "What? Am I missing something?" I raised an eyebrow, and she giggled. "No. No you are not." She shook her head, a mischievous smirk forming. "Why do I not like the sound of that?" I grinned, figuring it was something everyone else here at base planned. She simply smiled in response.

Angela turned to leave me to my work, stopping right by my desk as I prepared to sit down, before gripping my collar and pulling me into a quick kiss. "I'm glad you're back." She muttered, and I smiled.

"So am I."


	29. Chapter 29

**Thank you guys for all the support! I greatly appreciate it, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter just as much as the others! It means a lot to read your reviews and know you all like where I'm going with this story. Once again, thank you. It's all I can really say sometimes.**

Chapter 29: No Rest for the Wicked

Sighing, I slowly stumbled through the hallways, catching myself multiple times as I plummeted to the floor. I was woozy, head spinning as I tripped once more, slamming into a wall. Groaning, I rubbed my head. I winced, placing a hand on my ribs, the gash in my side still bleeding as I arrived here. My calloused hands were shaking, as I felt truly weak, barely able to continue forward. My legs marched onward though, as they shook, unable to support my body much longer. The familiar hallways at base never seemed so confusing and never ending. The lights blinded me, causing my head to hurt even more as I shielded my eyes from it.

It was hard to keep my mind off what happened today. I thought I'd get a break from chasing a serial killer for at least a day. I suppose this life is never uneventful. The mysterious figure struck again, this time only killing a single person. She was a young woman, with very little family and friends that would remember her. The woman kept to herself, stayed inside and was relatively shy. She was finishing up her last year in college. It hurt to know the rest of her future was unjustly snatched away from her. It hurt even more to have seen what happened to her. Her body was massacred, very little left to be recognized as human parts and organs. Multiple stab wounds in the neck and chest. Her hands were cut, probably from a struggle with the armed man. This killer seemed to enjoy a fight in his kills. The sick bastard.

He'd been on my mind all night, and I had stared at the paper he left behind for hours, not sleeping. I felt a lot like Angela when she focused on her work. I'd come to the conclusion that the numbers represented letters in the alphabet, but the letters were still horribly jumbled, not spelling any addresses, or names of any kind. At least not ones I knew of. 'N. A. W. I. J. S. E. L. O. N.' I still couldn't figure out what it meant. Something I fully intended to change tonight, as soon as Angela patches up my wounds.

The man had slammed me into a wall multiple times, my ears still ringing from it. I fought with him, though I landed only a few blows, never able to shoot him. He was too quick, and too close for me to withdraw it. We fought in the same apartment building I found the woman lying in. He had been hiding behind a corner, waiting to pounce. Once again, instead of killing me when he had the chance, he shook his head, mask taunting me, leaving me there. He had sent me flying through a window, shards of glass puncturing my legs, along with a crippling blow to my side. He stabbed deep into my ribs. The man was just so strong. He easily overpowered me, disposing of me in an alleyway below the window he threw me out of. I landed hard into the concrete, and I woke up hours later, the same paper left behind. He clearly still had plans for me.

What did he want from me? What did I do to deserve this? Why did he always draw me into traps, but never kill me? Who was he? Why does he kill these people? What do the letters mean? What do they spell out when arranged correctly? When will this nightmare ever end? The questions never stopped echoing in my head, even when my bloodied hand met Angela's door handle. I knocked gently, not trying to cause a scene. I was fine. I'd been through much worse after all.

The door opened, and my head slammed into the floor as she did. "Ow..." I rubbed my head, as she gasped, picking me up off the floor, dragging me to her desk, as I sat on it, struggling to keep my head up. "Nathan? Nathan are you alright?" She asked, and I nodded, offering her a smirk. Angela placed her hands under my chin, forcing me to look at her. "What happened?" She demanded, and I snickered. "I ran into my biggest fan again." I joked, though she didn't find it very amusing judging from the annoyed glare she flashed me as she began to bandage my ribs.

"You have to be more careful! You can't keep going to these crime scenes alone! Call us next time!" Angela advised, and I shook my head. "No. I'm fine. I shouldn't worry you guys. We've got bigger problems." I dismissed her, but she was as stubborn as I was. "If you go on another one of these alone, he'll kill you! How can you be so calm?!"

I smiled, thinking about my response. "Because I got you." I muttered, and she scoffed. "Now is no time for flirting." She replied, and I chuckled. "Sorry doc."

"I can't believe this! Have you gotten any closer to finding out who this killer is?" She asked, looking up at me as she injected me with medicine. I winced slightly, still sore, though feeling the familiar warmth of her groundbreaking technology repairing my cells. "Not particularly. I've only got a few letters. I assume it spells out a name, possibly his next victim." I said, becoming a lot more serious. I should focus shouldn't I?

"We'll find out. I'm sure of it." She assured me, offering me a smile. I returned the same, nodding. "I know. I'm just scared I won't be quick enough to save everyone else he's after. Their lives are at stake. I can't fail. I won't."

Angela backed away a step, her eyes scanning me. I frowned, confused about what she was doing. "Have you been with Jack a lot recently?" She asked, and I raised an eyebrow. "No. Not really." I responded, and she giggled. "Well, he must be rubbing off on you or something. You sounded so much like him." She admitted, and I laughed. "Does that mean I'll be a pretty boy soon enough? Always wanted to rely on my good, charming looks."

She grinned, and her eyes met mine. "I've always found you very handsome." I blushed at that, looking away. "Heh. Yeah. Thanks."

Before I could regain my composure, Angela let out a hiss, like someone breathing through clenched teeth. I turned to her, as she held her hand, withdrawing from her bag of medical supplies, blood flowing down to her forearm. I quickly jumped down from the desk, rushing to her aid, bending down beside her as she sat down on the floor, resting her back against the desk. "Angie! You alright?" I exclaimed, and she quickly nodded. "I'm fine. Just need to find a new place to put my scalpels." She replied, and I smirked. "Ya gotta be more careful." I advised, and she laughed. "You're one to talk."

"You sure you're alright? Need anything? Ice? Some water?" I asked, and she smiled. "Awww, look at you. Rushing to my aid. Such a sweetheart." Angela teased, as I scoffed, hiding my blush once more. "D-Don't call me that." I muttered, as she smirked. Doing what I could, I fished out a cloth and some bandages from her bag, trying my best to wipe the blood away. As I focused on the cut on her hand, I could feel her eyes on me, those deep blue oceans studying my movements. I couldn't help but feel warm under her gaze, turning away.

Gently placing a bandage on her hand, she smiled at me. Letting out a satisfied sigh, I smiled, though not letting go of her hand, as much as I told myself to. Something about her kept me drawn in. It'd been so long since I've been with her. Before I could break the silence, she kissed my cheek. "Thanks Nathan. You're my hero." She said, and I nodded. "No problem Angie. What're friends for?" I shrugged, noticing her suggestive smirk. I decided to try and ignore it, gulping nervously, trying to focus on my work. I had important things to do. I can't afford to get this distracted. People are counting on me.

Turning away, I sighed. "I-I should probably get going." I muttered, but still remaining completely still, not moving a muscle. Angela frowned, her soft gaze disappearing. "How come?" She asked, and I rubbed my tired eyes. "I've gotta focus on that clue. People's lives depend on it. I've gotta stay concentrated. As much as I'd love to stay with you right now, I can't. My work can't wait." I explained, struggling to keep the serial killer off my mind. His mask still haunted me. I could still see the smile when I closed my eyes. Sometimes I wished I could just unwind. But I have to focus. When that man is dead or behind bars, then I'll feel at ease. Until then, no rest for the wicked.

"I understand. Let me walk you to your office." Angela offered, and I grinned. "Sure thing."

We walked in relative silence, though still keeping one another company. I appreciated her support, but I had things on my mind. She would have to wait, as much as I wished I could be with her. I suppose I was starting to sound a lot like Gabriel or Angela when they began working. Maybe their work ethic is finally rubbing off on me. Only now did I feel a bit guilty for trying to distract them from their work.

Reaching my office, I placed my hand on the scanner, as it then beeped at me, unlocking the door. Frowning, I noticed the lights were off. Odd. I usually keep the lights on. And I don't remember turning them off either. Turning to Angela, she offered me a grin, confusing me even more. Opening the door, I took one step inside, placing my hat on the table to my right.

Flipping the switch, the lights turned on, as people jumped out from the corners of the office and behind my desk. I jumped in surprise, though beginning to smile when I noticed who it was. Jesse, Lena, and Genji jumped out from behind my desk, laughing and throwing confetti into the air, causing me to suppress an annoyed growl, realizing I'd have to pick that up later. Ana, Gabriel, Jack, Reinhardt, and Torbjorn all smiled and applauded as I entered. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They all exclaimed. Angela gripped my hand tightly, as I slowly figured out I had completely forgotten about my own birthday. I suppose I've been so caught up in everything I never even thought about it. So this was what Angela meant when she said I had a big day today. I guess I really could use a break, seeing as I couldn't remember my own birthday. But that serial killer won't stop. He doesn't care about my birthday.

Reinhardt placed a party hat on my head, his laughter echoing throughout the entire office, as I found my eyes staring at the paper on my desk, the numbers going through my head. Shaking my head, I laughed, hugging Ana as she approached me. Gabriel, Jack, and Torbjorn offered me quick nods of approval, and I returned the same. Jesse pulled me into a tight hug, laughing. Genji did the same, as my eyes met Lena's, watching as she withdrew a cake that had been resting on my desk. My eyes widened, noticing my name written on it with frosting, along with 26 candles going around the cake. They all urged me to blow out the candles and make a wish.

Holding up my hands, I stopped their chants. "Guys. Thanks, but I really should get back to work. I've gotta focus." I said, and Lena frowned, sticking her lower lip out; pouting. "Aww come on luv! It can wait! We've gotta celebrate!" She encouraged, but I wasn't exactly in a partying mood, the bodies the killer had mangled stuck in my head, continuously looping. "C'mon Nathan. Ana baked a cake for ya! We pulled out all the stops!" Jesse implored, as I sighed. "Yeah but this ki-"

"Nathan, I order you to celebrate your birthday with us." Gabriel said, a small smirk forming. Feeling the urge to rip the party hat off my head, I clenched my fists, and exhaled slowly. "It'll be alright Nate. Just for tonight. Put up your gear, forget about the numbers, and have fun. For me." Angela pulled me down to whisper in my ear, as I then pulled back, offering her a smile. I guess I won't be getting out of this. Besides, it couldn't hurt to spend time with them all. They put a lot of work into this.

They all stared at me, some with puppy dog eyes, other with stern looks. I gave in. "Alright." I conceded, as they all jumped in the air. "YEAH!" I smiled to see them all so excited. It meant a lot to me that they truly wanted to spend time with me. Bending down, I blew out the candles to my cake, and tried to forget about my troubles. Just for tonight.

I laughed, watching as Genji pushed a small box my way, a red ribbon tied around it. "We all pitched in and got you a little somethin'." Jesse said, and I grinned at him. "It better not be socks again." I commented, as Torbjorn laughed. "That was my idea." He seemed proud of it, almost like it was one of his turrets. "We got you something much better." Jack grinned, as I undid the ribbon, tossing it to the side. Gripping the top of the box, I slowly slid it off, half expecting something to jump out at me. "Open it! Open it!" Lena jumped with excitement, and I chuckled. "Keep your goggles on I'm working on it."

Opening the box, I was surprised to see rather normal looking pants. A long white stripe went down them, along with the Overwatch insignia. I frowned, turning them around, to see that on the back, in white, something was written on the rear of the pants. "Property of Angela Ziegler." I read out loud, much to the enjoyment of the others. I snickered, looking at Angela, noticing she was blushing. "Now that was my idea!" Ana said, and I turned to her, giving her a hug. "It's perfect. Matches my hourglass figure." I joked, placing them on my desk. "Well, put it on!" Reinhardt said, and Gabriel chuckled. "Didn't know you wanted to see Nathan strip down so bad."

"Ah please, all of you want to see that." I smiled, and Genji chuckled. "Yes, but some have seen it more than others." He spoke, motioning to Angela with his head. "Were you okay with this?" I turned to her, and she shook her head. "I had a much better idea." She said, and Jesse scoffed. "It was boring. No one wants to replace his old leather jacket."

I scoffed. "Aww come on. I miss that thing." I said, having lost it during the mission on the train. It's probably long gone in that river. I was sad to see it go. "You looked terrible in it anyways." Lena muttered, as I gasped, clutching my chest, hurt. "I looked fucking tasty in that jacket Lena!" I retorted, as Ana giggled. "Alright alright. Enough about his terrible fashion sense. We've got plenty of food, drinks, and a lot of catching up to do."

Later...

I suppose now I could be classified as tipsy. Not entirely shitfaced, but enough to where I stumbled a little bit when I walked. The night was going by so quick, but that was probably the alcohol making it seem like it was going by quicker. Much to my dismay, I had to go get more drinks for the others, losing a game of Rock Paper Scissors with Genji. I took the opportunity to slip into the pants they got me, feeling it squeeze tightly around my waist a little more than I'd like. They probably did that on purpose.

Arriving back at the bar, they all raised a glass to me when I entered. Angela was the first to notice I was wearing the pants I got as a present. "Nathan, take those pants off now!" She demanded, as I chuckled, sitting back down in my spot, located in between her and Jesse. "Never expected you to be so forward darling." I slurred, as she sighed, taking a long sip of her drink. I smirked, finding it cute how she got all flustered.

Over the next few hours, we simply talked, shared stories and experiences during our time here, and enjoyed each other's company. It felt good to have them around me, laughing at my jokes, smiling at me, offering me advice and wisdom, friendship, family. I hadn't had a family since I was a kid. And we weren't exactly perfect.

My mother was quite the tomboy, regularly spending her time lecturing me, or scolding me for all the mischief I got up to. We got along well. She was kind, always helpful, and understanding. I missed her dearly. My father was a very traditional man, very clean, neat and organized. He planned everything in his life out, and was the first person to show me how to shoot. He taught me to always get back up, no matter what happened. My brother and I used to get along well. But as the years went by and he matured, we grew more distant. Perhaps it was the age difference. He was about 6 years older than me. He was just as mischievous as me though. We used to sneak out of our rooms to go on the roof and look at the stars. We would talk for hours about everything. A part of me missed him. I haven't seen him since he left for the army around 14 years ago.

But this family was different. There was always something about them. They always appreciated me, and accepted me for who I was. They took me in as one of their own, and I haven't been able to properly repay any of them for what they've done for me. I didn't show it often, but moments like these meant everything to me. Spending time with them, as the snow began to fall outside, but I felt plenty warm. We laughed, we danced, we ate, we drank, and we even cried tears of joy. By the end of the night, I was oddly enough the least drunk, with the others barely able to walk straight. I suppose I planned on working late tonight, and being drunk wouldn't help me focus. Even though I promised Angela I'd leave the work for tomorrow, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease when I thought of that killer. He was out there. Waiting. Was I hunting him? Or was it the other way around?

Jesse laid there, snoring, using his arm as a pillow, hand still clutching his now warm glass of bourbon. Ana and Reinhardt walked to their rooms, and Jack and Gabriel left as well, offering me smiles as they went. Genji dragged a drunken Lena to her room, and I wished the cyborg a good night, watching as he went. Torbjorn stumbled off to tinker in his workshop. Angela was resting her head on my shoulder, eyes looking up at me curiously.

Realizing we were alone with a sleeping Jesse, I sighed, walking Angela back to her room. Fumbling with the door, I laughed when we both tumbled down to the floor. I picked her up my arms, carrying her to the bed. Her hand rested on my chest, as she smiled at me. "What a gentleman." She remarked, and I rolled my eyes in response, placing her gently in her bed. I grabbed the blankets, pulling them over her shoulders, keeping her warm. I gave her a kiss on the forehead, turning to leave. I stopped when I felt her grip my shirt, dragging me back to her. "Stay with me, will you?"

"Angie, I've gotta get to work. I'll see you in the morning. Get some sleep." I replied, and she giggled, sitting up in her bed. I felt her legs wrap around my waist, as she snuggled close to my abdomen, holding me there.

I smiled, grabbing her hands, pinning her to the bed, our faces a mere inch apart, smiles forming on both of our lips. Angela continued to drag me into her bed, distracting me from my work once more tonight, tempting me with certain rewards, until those numbers became a distant memory, my focus turning to her. Before I could even comprehend what was happening, my shirt was off, along with hers, with very little space between us. I smiled. "Happy birthday, Nathan." She said, before giggling as I pounced on her once more.

Later...

I sat there, looking down at Angela as she slept peacefully. I pulled the blankets over her once more, kissing her forehead. I hadn't gotten any sleep. Although she distracted me for a while, my mind couldn't help but slip back into the scenes that played in my head. Those murders, the victims' eyes as they stared up at me, knowing I failed them. The killer's mask smiling at me, black eyes staring into my soul. 'Not yet.' He taunted. The numbers were on repeat, enough to drive me insane. Slipping out of Angela's bed, I put my pants back on and sat down at her desk, turning on the lamp, illuminating that corner of the room, isolating me from the darkness. The letters I associated with the numbers soon found themselves on a piece of paper in front of me, as I gripped the pen with enough force to snap it in two. 'N. A. W. I. J. S. E. L. O. N.'

I spent hours going through scrap paper after scrap paper, crumbling them into balls and tossing them aside, then writing another combination of the letters. I'd take breaks in between, trying to rest my aching mind. I repeated the process over and over, my hand cramping, my eyelids becoming heavy, and my head began to ache. I sighed, placing the pen down, rubbing my eyes. I've went through so many letters, so many combinations. So much wasted time, so little sleep. I was getting nowhere. Nowhere at all. Turning back to Angela, I considered hopping back into bed and going to sleep. But I didn't want another victim's blood on my hands. I won't stop. Lives depend on it.

I began writing once more, this time using J as the first letter in the name. 'Jes-'. No. That didn't work. 'Jon-'. No. 'Jil-'. Not that either. The familiar feeling of failure began to rush through me. "Fuck me." I muttered, unable to decipher what this paper meant. I sighed, giving it one last shot. 'Jan-'...no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No... it can't be...

'Jane Wilson...' my heart stopped, my hand beginning to tremble. It couldn't be.

"No..."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Safe and Sound

Angela's POV

My eyes snapped open as I took a deep breath before exhaling, sliding out of bed, placing my feet on the ground, sitting upright, placing my head in my hands. A smile met my lips as I thought about last night. Nathan had spent the night, and I finally succeeded in getting his mind off of the killer, even though it was only for a few hours. I groaned, my head aching, the alcohol from last night not helping one bit. Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was five in the morning, still nearly pitch black in my room. Though I was used to getting up this early, my job not exactly giving me the luxury of sleeping in. Nathan probably needed to get up as well. Though I debated not waking him up. The man could use his rest. He'd been working himself to death ever since his reinstatement. I suppose he felt the need to catch up, or was simply struggling to impress everyone. Nathan has always been so skillful. If only he put them to good use, he'd probably be in Overwatch.

But I suppose it isn't entirely his fault. He was surrounded by gang members and evil men and women during his youth, and was exposed to so many horrible experiences at too young an age. Although he could hide them well, he bore many scars, both physical and mental. Nathan relied on his quick wit and charm to escape his own feelings, and it hasn't always done him many favors. The man, while talented, was admittedly lazy, and didn't strive to be some hero. He just wanted to get by. Nate never did have many role models.

I smiled when I thought about him though. His grin came to mind, as I sighed, wondering what was going on in that head of his. For a man of his education, he was very intelligent. During his last few weeks back in Blackwatch he spent more time in Torbjorn's workshop, tinkering on whatever his heart desired. But his mind was so cluttered, he lacked the patience and dedication necessary to complete his personal projects. Though it's better than his former drinking habits. He's gotten much better about that. Not that we did him any favors last night.

Smirking, I decided to wake the man up, turning around, though finding nothing but sheets. Frowning, I soon noticed the light from my desk illuminating the corner of my room, as I stood up to turn it off. He must've gotten up to work on something. Leaning over the desk, I soon noticed a disturbing sight. Crumpled up pieces of paper were left everywhere, with something that seemed like the scribblings of a mad man, with numbers and letters in countless different patterns, different combinations. Only one single piece of paper held a bit of information that truly caught my eye. Something I didn't want to see. Nathan had been working on the clues left behind over night. And he figured it out. "Jane Wilson." I read aloud, eyes widening as I slowly realized what that meant. She had to be the next victim. Jane was in trouble. And that could only mean one thing. Nathan was diving headfirst after the woman.

The name Jane Wilson brought terrible memories to mind, as I thought about Nathan's struggle choosing between us. I had decided to try and keep those thoughts out of my head, figuring the whole situation was over, and that I wouldn't have to worry about losing Nathan, but here we are again. He's running after her again, risking everything he has for her. He really does love her, as much as he tries to lie. Even after everything she'd done, he still felt something for her. My hands clenched into fists when I thought about that, a twinge of jealousy rushing through me. 'Nathan chose me.' I assured myself, though I was unable to stop myself from thinking about the woman. She offered him nothing but despair, and led him down to his spiral into depression. I hated the woman for what she did to Nathan. But I stopped myself, reminding myself of the oath I took to protect those in need. And right now Jane needed my help, making me feel terrible about my reluctance to give her aid. Jealousy wasn't going to help this. I shook my head, focusing on helping Nathan. He needed me.

Quickly slipping into my clothes, I armed myself with my staff, my Valkyrie suit, and even my pistol. He needed all the help he could get, and having seen the wounds the killer left Nate with, I decided my suit would be most appropriate. I rushed through the empty hallways, rushing to the person who came to mind when it came to finding Nathan. Jesse.

He was of course still asleep, snoring loudly as he huddled up against his half empty glass of whiskey. I bumped his arm, as he snapped up, groaning. "Huh? What the hell..."

I didn't bother giving him time to stumble around trying to figure out what was happening. "Jesse, get up! Nathan is gone! He's after Jane!" I urged, and he squinted, staring up at me curiously. "Jane? Last time I checked she was long gone, and out of our lives for good." He muttered, confused. I shook my head quickly. "No. You need to hurry. Nathan is after Jane to protect her from the killer! She's the next target!" I explained, and Jesse's eyes snapped open, and he seemed wide awake and completely sober. He took a moment to process the information, scratching at his chin. He muttered a few choice words under his breath, rubbed his eyes, and looked up at me. One hand reached for his hip as he grabbed his Peacekeeper, the other for his hat. Placing a cigar in his mouth, he nodded at me. "Lead the way."

Nathan's POV

There it is. My house.

So many memories came flooding back to me, as I took steps towards the house, it's exterior exactly as I remembered it. The chipped red paint, the crooked wooden stairs, the slightly slanted windows. Everything was so perfectly out of place. I smiled, my eyes scanning the place. The same familiar tree was to my right, it's branches bending down, as I ran my hand along it's smooth leaves. I'd spent so much time thinking under this tree. So many things I'd done. I used to play with Ian in the fields. Jesse and I used to climb up in the branches and watch the sun go down while we smoked our cigars.

I shook my head, reminding myself of why I was here in the first place. I came here for Jane and the others. I needed to hurry, before this killer arrives. He's not taking them from me. They deserve better. I ran up the stairs, arriving at the front door on the porch. Raising my hand to knock, I hesitated, taking a deep breath, taking the moment in. I was heading back home. They'd be inside. How will they welcome me? Will they trust me? How have they been without me?

Realizing I'd get no answers standing outside, I knocked firmly on the door. Much to my dismay, the door opened, creaking as the light from outside slowly illuminated the familiar interior. My eyes met the framed photos that hung on the counters around the house. My foot met a wooden plank, as it creaked, alerting anyone here of my presence, just like it did whenever I tried to sneak in from my jobs in Deadlock. No matter how hard I tried, Jane always heard me. I moved slowly through my old home, wiping the dust away from the photos. I stopped when I noticed the photo of the entire family. Of what we used to be. What I used to have.

Ian was two when we took the photo. He was smiling, as happy as any kid his age, oblivious to the world around him. I had my arm around Jane, pulling her close, a bright smile on my face. Jane looked as lovely as ever in the picture, and I smiled. Karen was to Jane's left, reminding me about the woman. She was always beside Jane. She was protective, kind, and loving. Karen was a good mother.

Walking up the stairs, I frowned, confused. I had anticipated I'd be running up to warn Jane and the others. But I took my time, taking in the memories. Something was off. It was too quiet. A part of me was sure someone would've noticed I was here. It didn't help to know the door was left open, allowing anyone to waltz in here unexpected. They weren't that careless. It was like that on purpose.

I began to rush down the narrow hallway, ignoring the other rooms, going to Jane's room. I needed to warn her.

Stopping, I stood there, staring at the bed, watching as Jane lied there peacefully, unaware of my presence. I smiled, though I didn't tell myself to. It just felt natural. I never thought I'd see her again. It was...nice.

Taking slow steps towards the bed, I sat down on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on the woman's shoulder, preparing myself for whatever came next. I took a deep breath, letting go of my fears and worries, turning her over.

And there she lay. Green eyes wide open, staring up at the ceiling lifelessly, bloodshot. A look of horror was frozen onto her face, just like all the other victims. Her throat had been slit, and she had multiple stab wounds in the chest. To her right, cuddled close to her, was Ian, his skin cold to the touch. He'd been strangled to death, skin pale, frail and tiny body crushed under the weight of the killer. On the other end of the bed, Karen was dead as well, her chest spilt open, blood still flowing, dripping through the floorboards.

I took two steps back, collapsing to the floor, staring at what remained of my family. Their bodies were massacred. The first woman I ever loved was lying dead in front of me. Her six year old child was cuddled up beside her. He died afraid, and alone, without a mother. He was a son to me. I took care of him. I watched him be born into the world. And there he was. Tears began to stream down my face, as I sobbed loudly into my hands, unable to get the vision of their bodies out of my head. I was too late. This was my fault. If I was just quicker...

Emptiness. That was all I could feel. No. I felt nothing. My body was numb, my eyes having already run out of tears to cry, my body instead convulsing, fingers digging into my own skin, heart barely beating. There was nothing left. They were gone. Snatched away from me. It was my fault. I should've been here. I could've protected them. I never should've left. I did this...I did this...

I clutched my wife in my arms, cradling her as I rocked her back and forth, her arms falling down to the bloodstained bedsheets. I began to cry once more, but my eyes lacked the tears to shed. I held her head, pulling her close, wishing I could take this all back. Wishing I could've done something. I was too late. "I should've been here...I should've been here... I should've been here..." I repeated, realizing my family was dead. I was the only one. Why me? Why was I always left to live? I shouldn't be here.

"Yes. Yes you should've." I heard the voice call out from behind me. The voice that haunted my nightmares. The voice that mocked me as I walked through the hallways. The voice that belonged to the man responsible for this. He killed them. He killed Karen. He killed my wife. He killed my son.

I didn't bother looking at him, withdrawing my revolver from my holster with a speed and ferocity unmatched, screaming as I fired blindly into the direction the voice came from, consumed by rage. It was all I could feel. It was all I had left. I will avenge them. I placed my revolver back in its holster, withdrawing my knife. I prepared for close quarters combat. I'd prefer to be up close and personal anyways, as I gripped the handle of the knife hard enough to snap it in half.

"Their deaths are your fault. If you'd been quicker. If you solved my riddles faster. They'd be alive." I heard him mock me, stepping out of the shadows once more, mask meeting my eyes. He stood in the hallway, arms outstretched. "But you always have been lazy, haven't you Nathan?" I growled, and in a blind rage, I charged him, tackling him into the wall, hearing him shatter the glass of the window behind him. He grunted, elbowing me in the back, before stringing me up by my legs and slamming me into the floor. I grunted in pain, but he pulled me up quickly, swinging at me. I caught his wrist, bending it backwards, forcing him to his knees. While he was off balance, I planted my foot into his chest, sending him crashing down the stairs.

As he struggled to stand back up, I didn't hesitate to charge and tackle him into the door, crashing through the weak wooden frame, me on top of him. He let out a pained grunt, gripping my shirt before I could slam my knife down, head butting me, and kicking me off him. I rolled down the stairs leading up to the porch, groaning. I began to lift myself up, only to have him force me back down into the dirt, slamming my head into the rocks. He turned me over to stab me in the chest, before I caught it, struggling against him, as he began to overpower me, my arms giving out. Before the blade penetrated my chest, I knocked his arm to the side, sending the blade into the dirt beside me. I rolled away, standing up, wiping the blood that flowed down my lip away.

The killer charged me, allowing me to dodge his first attack, before he spun backwards, bringing his fist back as well, I caught it, holding his arm out, then stabbing him in the bicep, hearing the flesh rip and tear as I dragged it back out. In hushed whimpers, he held his bleeding arm. He swung his other arm at me, as I blocked his strike, but wasn't expecting his leg to launch out, knocking me to my knees. The man had such a familiar fighting technique. I remembered fighting people with the same cheap and dirty moves. I was much younger then.

Before I could think about it anymore, he brought his knee up to my face, but I stopped it with my hands. As he tried to take a step back, I gripped the white trench coat he wore, pulling him towards me just as I landed an uppercut to his jaw. He was sent flying back, his mask falling off, plummeting to the ground. He landed face first, as he tried to get up. I used the moment to my advantage, stepping on his mask, crushing it under my heel, seemingly conquering my fear of this man. He will die for what he did to my family.

I watched as he slowly stood up, balancing himself on shaky feet. He began to cackle, his body shaking as he did so. He removed the hood he wore, short brown hair poking back out, the same color as mine. "Been a while, hasn't it..."

"Brother."

He turned, his grin widening as I stared at him in shock and confusion. It was my brother. After all these years...I never thought I'd see him again. "John?" I muttered, shaking my head, unable to concentrate. It was my brother behind this. He had done this. He murdered my family. He murdered innocents. He strangled a child to death. No. It couldn't be. That's not him. John never would've done that. After everything we've been through, he wouldn't betray me like this. He couldn't of. No. I refuse to accept it.

"What Nathan? Not expecting to see me? Hell I bet you weren't expecting to see your family ever again. You left us all behind. You never cared about them. Ian was growing up without a father. That was your doing. Jane was lonely, and missed you everyday. Karen was left to pick up the pieces of what remained of your mistakes. I put them out of their misery. You left us all." John spat, staring at me, clenching his fists in anger. I still shook my head, unable to comprehend it. My own brother was responsible. What happened to him? We used to love one another. John always looked out for me. We'd sneak out all the time and get into trouble. He'd always bail me out. He watched over me. What happened?

"John...what have you done? Why?" I asked, as he took a step forward. "You thought you could leave your past behind. You thought none of us would catch up with you. You thought I'd just forgive you for how you've torn our family apart. And for what? For some fucking whore in Overwatch? To be some honorable and noble knight? To protect the innocent? You're a disgrace. You let your own family die. You never did use your time wisely."

"John, I won't fight you. This doesn't have to be like this. We can talk." I pleaded, but he shook his head, punching me in the nose, knocking me back. I held my hands up, blocking some of his attacks, though feeling the full force of his anger. "You're a coward Nathan! You won't even fight the man who killed your family! You disgust me, Nate." He continued to punch me, striking me in the ribs. I screamed, flipping him off me. "ENOUGH!"

He rolled back up to his feet as I stared him down. His familiar blue eyes were shaking, brows furrowed as he looked at me. It reminded me of our fights. We'd always get so mad at one another, but in the end our mother would knock our heads together and we'd realize how much we still love one another. Maybe it can still be like that.

"What would Mom think? Dressing up as some serial killer every night? Murdering innocents just to gain my attention? Strangling a six year old boy?! What is wrong with you?! You risked our family name every night! You've destroyed our entire legacy! Just look at yourself John! Snap out of it! I know the real you is inside of there. Please, listen to me. Don't do this." I said, as he growled.

"As if you're much better! Have you looked in a mirror recently? You've murdered more people than I can count! You abandoned your family for Overwatch! So now you drink, you kill, and you fuck for thrills. You're just some boy playing at hero. Dad would be ashamed. You've become everything he hated. Always running away from your responsibilities. Never taking care of your family. Hiding behind your friends for protection. But look around. They're not here to save you anymore."

John readied himself to fight me, but I didn't fear him like I used to when we were boys. I could quite tell what gave it away, but he was off balance, unsteady. He offered a grin. "Sorry it has to be this way brother." I planted my feet into the ground, refusing to move. I was done trying to redeem him. John was too far gone. He can't live after what he's done. 'I'm sorry John. It didn't have to be this way.' I thought, readying myself as well, staring him down. "No you're not."

My brother laughed to himself once more, before he ran at me full speed, withdrawing a knife from his coat as he did so. I flipped the blade in my hands, watching his movements closely. He swung the knife down at me, as I caught it with my own blade, before slicing horizontally at his neck. He ducked, before slashing at me once more. I deflected it, using Genji's training with knives to my advantage. I spun around, cutting his back, hearing him yell in pain. He turned once more, furiously swiping at me, as I dodged each attack, moving backwards as he forced me away. Watching his footsteps, I noticed his unbalanced form, allowing me to sweep his legs out from under him.

I allowed him to stand back up, waiting for his next move. He tried his best to catch me off guard, but I was ready, catching his blade, using his wounded arm against him, jamming the hilt of my knife into his wound. He yelled in agony, turning towards me again. He swung downwards once more, as I caught it, struggling against him, planting my feet. A hint of sadness ran through me as I met my brother's eyes, realizing this was what we had come to. Our parents would be ashamed to see this. I was ashamed of myself for allowing this to happen. Our blades grinding against one another, a spark flew through the air as I slid it across his knife, slashing his cheek as I did so.

John fell backwards, tripping and falling to the ground. He withdrew a gun, aiming it right at my chest. "Enough! I'm done with this! You die today!" He yelled, but a shot hit the ground in the middle of us. We both turned, finding Jesse and Angela a few yards away. John growled, standing up. "Of course they'd come here! Too scared to face me on your own!" Jesse met my eyes, prepared to fire, but I shook my head. I didn't want to kill him. Even after everything he did. John deserved better. He's my brother, after all.

"John! Don't do this! Put the gun down!" I begged, withdrawing my revolver as well, aiming at him. "Whatever ya do to Nate I unleash upon you tenfold. Drop it, now!" Jesse ordered, finger on the trigger. Angela aimed at him as well, though a bit hesitant to fire. She must realize it's my brother from all the stories I told her.

"Heh. Dad always did say strength in numbers..." John muttered, I took a few steps towards him, a few feet away now. I offered him a grin, as he returned the same. "Let's even them out now shall we?"

I watched in horror as his eyes glanced towards Angela, as I rushed over to him. Time seemed to slow down, as I didn't hesitate to jump in front of her, catching the bullet myself. I collapsed to the ground, feeling the blood begin to run out of my chest, as I writhed in pain, gritting my teeth. I heard Jesse scream in anger, firing a shot into John's shoulder, causing him to fall to his knees. Angela rushed towards me, as I coughed, blood trickling out of my lips. Breathing became nearly impossible, watching as Angela readied her staff.

Angela stopped when a bullet whizzed by her head, nearly missing her. John took the opportunity to grab me, hoisting me back up to my feet, using me as a shield, the barrel of his gun right at my head. I groaned, not strong enough to stop him, my feet being dragged along the ground. My eyes met Jesse's, and he stared at me, fear in his eyes. I smiled. "John! Put him down!" Jesse yelled. "Let him go! You've nowhere to run!" Angela said, and I felt his grip tighten around my neck.

"You really do value his life don't you? This worthless piece of garbage? He's done nothing but cause you all trouble. He can't do anything right. He doesn't belong in Overwatch with you! He deserves to be here, with what remains of his family." John said, pulling me closer. "Let me keep him. I won't do anything else. I just want my brother. He deserves to be brought to justice. I'll bury him with his family. With his wife."

I noticed the branches of the familiar tree block my vision for a moment, as I realized where we were. My eyes met Angela's for a moment, as I took a deep breath. 'I'm sorry brother.' I thought, before doing what needed to be done. I slammed my elbow into his stomach, causing him to instinctively shoot his gun, which grazed my head, my ears ringing. He bent down in pain, though beginning to aim at me. I knocked the gun out of his hand, ripping the knife out of his left hand, slamming it into his chest.

My eyes met my own brother's as he let out a pained breath. I closed my eyes, breathing shakily as I felt his hand run down my cheek. I pulled the knife out, slamming it back in to his chest, twisting it. His hand dropped, and I felt his body go limp as he exhaled one last time. I finally opened my eyes, yanking the knife out of his body sideways, blood spewing on to my coat. John's lifeless body fell to the ground, blood mingling with the dirt and roots of the tree. Dropping his knife, I took a deep breath, pain shooting through my chest. But I didn't care anymore. I was numb. I killed my brother. Glancing down at my bloodied hands, I let out a scream of rage and agonizing pain. My shouts echoed through the hills, before slowly being snuffed out.

Falling to my knees, I leaned against the tree, running a hand along the bark. Jesse and Angela rushed towards me, Angela beginning to heal and bandage my wound. It would've hurt to feel her press a bandage against my flesh if I could actually feel anything. There wasn't anything left. Angela did her job, even stitching me up, although I barely noticed. My eyes were locked on to John's body, his white trench coat flapping in the wind, eyes staring up at the sky. I killed him. My own brother. And now I had to live with that.

"Hey Angie, can we get a moment?" Jesse spoke softly, dragging me back to reality. She let out a shaky breath, looking at me for a moment. "Bring him back in a few minutes. The sooner we leave this place the better." Angela said. She gave my hand a soft squeeze, and walked off. Jesse sighed, igniting another cigar and placing it in his mouth. He handed me one, which I took, as he lit it for me. I inhaled sharply, trying to calm my unsettled nerves. I coughed, still feeling the burn of my gunshot wound.

"I'm the last one." I muttered, glancing at John, taking another puff of my cigar. "Last what?" Jesse frowned, looking at me. "I'm the last one left. Everyone else in my family is dead. Mom. Dad. Jane. Ian. Karen. John. It's only me." I replied, as he nodded grimly, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry Nate." He muttered, as I laughed dryly. "They always said I'd die young. Look at me now...I outlived them all." I smiled, chuckling at the irony of the situation. "Yeah." Jesse responded, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31: He's Fucking Family

 **Hey guys! Didn't expect to see me back so soon? Ah well I just couldn't wait to get this chapter out! I know last chapter may have felt like it was unnecessary, or was simply too soon. But trust me, I did it on purpose. I wanted Nathan to begin to become hopeless because I'm a horrible person. I've had this idea for around 2 months now, and I've been building up to this subplot since chapter 27. All I can say is Nathan will begin to struggle with his mental health, and start to feel everyday is getting worse. I hope to tackle PTSD and things like bipolar disease in a mature way, but one that still goes with Nathan and his character. These few chapters will switch between Jesse's and Nate's POV to showcase Jesse trying his best to help his friend. I'll try and show how hard it can be for both the victim and the person who's trying to help. It might get a little emotional, but I can't exactly help it, since I've been through similar situations with my brother in my family life. Anyways, thanks for reading! I appreciate all the support!**

Jesse's POV

A slight nudge on my shoulder awoke me, as I slowly opened my eyes, reluctant to start the day. Groaning, I felt whoever it was prod me once more, this time a little harder. I returned with an even more annoyed grunt, hoping whoever it was could take a hint. I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep, reclining back into my pillow.

Before I could resist, someone ripped the covers off my bed, the cold air meeting my legs, sending a shiver down my spine. I finally opened my eyes, mostly to locate and beat the ever living shit out of whoever it was, finding Nathan smiling at me brightly, and I sighed, deciding against punching him. He was oddly happy considering what just happened two days ago. I shook my head, thinking nothing of it. "What the absolute fuck are you doing Nate?!" I demanded, and he offered a grin. "Finally you're awake! Get dressed sleepyhead! We've gotta start the day off right! I woke up a bunch of the others! Don't wanna miss out on breakfast do ya?" He explained, raising an eyebrow at me as he finished. I stared, confused by his actions. Looking at the clock, I realized it was around six in the morning. Nathan never willingly got out of bed. Not by his own accord. It shouldn't bother me I suppose, but something about him seemed off. His toothy grin was a bit unsettling, at least because of how odd it was for him to come wake me up.

"Nate, I finally got a day off. Can you not? I've got a lot of sleeping to do." I muttered, and he rolled his eyes. "Aww come on. Sleep is for the weak. Where's your Christmas spirit? It's only a few days away!" Nate exclaimed, and I chuckled to myself. "At the bottom of a glass of bourbon I suppose." I answered, causing him to giggle. "Then I could get ya one later. But for now, get dressed, and um..." he paused, taking a sniff. "Take a shower first actually. Then come out to the cafeteria. I made a shit ton of food." He ordered, and I scowled. "What if I don't want to?" I asked, and he smiled at me.

"See, I _did_ make some pancakes with extra chocolate chips in 'em, but hey if you don't want 'em, I'm sure Lena'll have some." He replied, turning around to leave. 'Don't give in to 'im.' I told myself, though my grumbling stomach began to disagree with me. "Fuck me." I muttered under my breath. "Hey!" I called out to him. Nathan stopped in his tracks, turning around with a confident smirk. "Yeeees?" He drew the word out, staring at me. I sighed. "I'll come."

Nathan nodded, leaving me to take a shower and get dressed. I paused for a moment, watching as he snapped his fingers, strutting through the hallways as he whistled a tune. And was he...wearing a Christmas sweater? Since when did he wear- Ah forget it. I made sure to take a quick shower, not trying to miss out on all the food. With how much Reinhardt eats, it's a miracle there's anything left for us. And with how skinny Lena was, you wouldn't expect her to eat like she does either.

Exiting my room, I began to walk through the hallways, mind still on Nathan's slightly odd behavior. He didn't talk yesterday. Not to me. Not to anyone. Everyone kept their distance, aware of what he had just been through. I was amazed he even kept going after everything he's seen. Nathan killed his own brother. He saw his entire family dead beneath his feet. Any other man I knew would've completely collapsed then and there. But no. Not him. Although he was acting odd, perhaps he was just trying to move on. Good on him I guess. It still unnerved me.

Interrupting my concerned thoughts, Lena bumped into me, offering me a tired, but still happy smile. "I see Nathan woke you up too." Lena began, and I nodded. "Yep. I'm just coming for the pancakes." I replied, and she giggled. "Same 'ere luv."

After a short pause, she began to speak once more. "Oi Jesse, did Nate seem a little...I don't know...off when he came to wake you up?" Lena asked, hesitating to say so. I met her eyes, nodding grimly. "Yeah. Ain't never seen 'im wake up so early by choice. He's acting a little funny. I don't know. With everything with his brother, I don't think any man would be the same." I answered, and Lena nodded in return. "I s'pose you're right luv. I feel terrible knowing what happened to 'im. Hope he's alright."

We walked in silence on the way there, preferring to keep quiet, Lena probably wanting to keep her mind off Nathan's family as much as I did. Stopping, we noticed Angela stumble out of her room, stretching her arms to the ceiling, yawning as she did so. Her golden blonde hair was a mess, locks and stray strands of hair poking up in the air, bangs covering a good bit of her left eye. I chuckled to myself. "Rough night?" I asked, and she turned, tired eyes meeting mine. "You could," she yawned in between. "...say that."

"How long did ya sleep Angie?" Lena asked, and Angela shrugged in response. "Maybe four hours." She offered a dry smile, walking with us as we went to the cafeteria. "You can lay back down. I'm sure Nate will understand." I said, and she shook her head. "No. It's fine. I should probably be with Nate after everything he's been through recently. He could use the support." I nodded, smiling at her. "Besides, breakfast sounds lovely."

I opened the doors to the cafeteria, finding Nathan and the others at a table, reserving seats for us. Jack, Ana, Genji and Reinhardt were wide awake, grateful for the pleasant surprise. Gabriel was having trouble keeping his eyes open, and when they did, his brows were constantly furrowed. He never had been a morning person. Winston was busy cleaning his glasses. Nathan sat at the head of the table, his eyes lighting up when he noticed us enter. "Ah finally! Good morning!" He clasped his hands together, adjusting his hat. He noticed Angela, offering her a sly grin. "My my Angela, looking lovely as always." He joked, though it still sounded sincere as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. Angela blushed, smiling at him. "Thank you Nate."

She walked by to take her seat at the table. Nathan watched her go for a moment, before turning to us. He grinned, pulling us into a hug. My eyes widened, but I eventually eased into it, patting his back. "Thanks Nate." I said, and he nodded. "No problem. Now you two go get situated." He shooed us away.

I sat down beside Gabriel, nudging his shoulder. "Howdy boss." I greeted, and he grumbled. "Hrmm..." he replied, and I smiled. "Love you too Gabe." Lena sat beside Reinhardt, across from me. In the middle of the table sat multiple plates and platters holding all sorts of breakfast foods. Bacon, muffins, eggs, sausage, biscuits, pancakes, fruit, vegetables, cake, cheese, everything. Nathan really went all out. Guess he's just excited.

Before we could ask why or how he was doing this, Nathan smiled, gaining our attention. "Alright! Glad you all could come! I-" he stopped, staring at an empty seat. "Where's Torbjorn?" He asked, and we all shrugged. "I don't think he'll be coming child. He's a busy man." Ana answered, and Nathan frowned. "Huh. Well alright then! I'm making coffee. Who wants some?" He asked, and everyone raised their hand in response. He smiled. "Good. Good. I'll be back. Let's see if I remember how everyone takes their coffee." He giggled to himself, leaving us to enjoy the food he left. Nathan stopped, turning back to us. "Wait a minute...I know I have it somewhere." He muttered, patting his pockets. His eyes widened when he found what he was looking for. "Winston catch!" He yelled, tossing a banana in the air. Winston caught it with ease, his large arms and hands suddenly became very useful. "There should be some peanut butter in that jar there." Nathan said, before leaving.

Winston smiled, glancing at the banana in his hands. "Thanks Nathan." He muttered.

We all looked at one another, offering each other surprised glances. "What's going on with Nathan?" Jack asked, and we all shrugged. "I don't know. He didn't even talk yesterday." Genji added, and Reinhardt frowned. "Perhaps what happened with his family is affecting him more than he lets on." Reinhardt said, and Angela nodded. "He hasn't been exactly mentally stable since the whole encounter." She admitted, and Ana turned to her. "Anything you can do to change that?" She asked. "No. Not until I can get a proper test. I doubt he'd allow me to. I'll have a chat with him later."

Gabriel grumbled. "I don't know, I like this new Nathan. Brings me coffee, makes me breakfast, no snide remarks, follows orders... not too bad in my book." He smirked, but I crossed my arms. "I don't like it. Clearly something wrong with him. But you know Nathan, he ain't exactly tackle his problems head on. He might need some convincing for a test Doc." I glanced over at her. For a moment, we shared a concern for our friend's mental health.

"We'll figure it out I'm sure. Besides he's coming back." Lena responded, and we all tried to act natural, not trying to alert him or make him feel wrong. He could use some happiness, even if it's just for now.

"I'm baaaack!" He opened the door, holding a tray with multiple mugs of coffee on it, struggling to keep it steady. "Hey Shim Sham, be a doll and help me with this?" He asked, and Genji snickered. "Of course." He got up, helping him pass the mugs around. I took a sip of my own coffee, realizing he actually got it right. I was used to him putting too much sugar in it or something, but not today.

Nathan sat down at the head of the table, as we all began to pass the plates around, tossing things in the air for others to catch. "Jesse, heads up!" Nate yelled, tossing a pancake my way. I snatched it out of the air, slamming it down on my plate. Lena did the same. Reinhardt placed nearly the whole thing of bacon on his plate. Jack only took some scrambled eggs and a biscuit, staying reserved as always. Genji ate fruits and vegetables. Ana had the same as Genji, only with a muffin along with it. Gabriel took a large slice of cake, slapping it down on to his plate unceremoniously, downing the rest of his coffee. Angela didn't really eat much, sticking to a single muffin, mostly studying Nathan and his movements, trying to crack the case of his sudden moodswing. I decided to not bother her.

"Hey Nate, where'd you ever learn to cook like this? It's wonderful." Ana asked, as Nathan became quiet for a moment, as if searching through his memory to find the answer. "Ah it's nothing. Just something I learned from Karen...we used to spend a lot of time cooking." He paused, staring at his plate, grip tightening on the knife he held. We all stared in silence, all practically on the edge of our seats. "Nathan...I'm sorry." Ana apologized, placing her hand over his. After what felt like an eternity passed, he snapped back to his original happy state, smiling brightly. "For what?" He asked, beginning to eat once more, completely oblivious to the awkward situation they were just in. All of us shared a silent agreement not to bring it up. It's better off that way. I decided I should just try and focus on my food. Ana was right. The food really was good. I suppose Karen could live on through his cooking, for all the food that does her. I shook my head, clearing my head of those thoughts, trying to keep myself from spacing out again.

Nathan was busy laughing at something Jack told him, chatting with him and Ana. I began to watch him myself as well. His eyes were as busy as his mouth, dancing from side to side as he looked around, analyzing everything. I couldn't help but notice his fingers drumming along to some tune I couldn't recognize. His eyes flicked over my way, as I just barely avoided his gaze. After a few more seconds, I glanced back at him, watching as he adjusted his Christmas sweater, placing the bangs that fell out of place where they originally were, tucking them under his hat. Reinhardt said something to him, causing them both to laugh, the large man slamming his hand down on the table in amusement. Nathan's grin was as infectious as ever today. That's what put me off about him though. He's only ever acted like this before. It was after we left Jane all those years ago. He would be really happy, always smiling and telling jokes, and then in a few days he'd be back to normal. We never really spoke about it. He probably doesn't even remember.

I spent the rest of the meal with everyone struggling to keep my mind off it. He's alright. He's done this before and he was okay. I should stop worrying. I let out a sigh. Instead of speaking to someone about my concerns, I stuffed a muffin into my mouth, avoiding the problem.

Later...

Here we go again. An overwhelming sense of unease struck me as Nathan and Lena laughed. I took a sip of my whiskey, watching as Lena nearly fell off her stool. Once more he laughed, but he screamed that he was hiding something behind those blue eyes. Nathan invited us both out to hang out "like the ol' days" as he said, and I convinced myself to go only in hopes of keeping Nathan from doing something stupid. That, and I could use a drink to get my mind off of this.

Nate has always been a happy person, but not like this. He's never had so much energy and drive. He had asked if I wanted to go on a run, which I declined. When he came back, covered in snow, shivering, he smiled. I asked him where he went, and he laughed to himself. "Got a little sidetracked. Fell down a hill on my way back up here. But look at this!" He had said, withdrawing a bobble head. It was of Gabriel, his familiar hoodie and beanie on as well, along with his signature frown. "I found this bad boy in an antique shop! Ain't he the cutest lil' fella?" Nathan's grin widened, holding it up to his face. I nodded, offering a confused smile. "Yeah. Yeah sure." I replied, and Nathan nodded, flicking the bobble head, watching it rock back and forth as he moved past me and into the hallways. 'The hell is wrong with 'im?' I remembered thinking to myself.

Over the course of the entire night I've spent with him, he's always been busy with something. When Lena and I arrived in his office, he was busy decorating his office, placing Christmas lights all over the place, even wearing a Santa hat rather than his own hat. Since when did Nathan like the holidays? He's usually quite the grinch, but not this time. I've never seen him more, well... merry I suppose. He claimed that "we both needed to lighten up. It was Christmas after all!" Though I doubt anyone can be as carefree as he is.

I took another sip of my drink, trying to ignore Nathan and Lena's laughter as they leaned on one another for support. They were busy sharing stories or something, I honestly couldn't be bothered to care. Angela had told me to try and convince him to talk to her about his feelings, but be subtle about it. I suppose "Hey Nate you're acting weird let's go talk about your dead family" isn't going to work very well. I released a long and exasperated sigh once more today.

This was going to be a long night.

Two days later...

Knocking on Nathan's door, I waited for a response. Silence came from the other side. Sighing, I knocked once more, making sure he could hear me. Rolling my eyes, I entered the passcode into the mechanical lock near his door, letting myself in. He goes from waking me up to being two hours late to a meeting with Gabe.

Entering his room, I raised an eyebrow, noticing the lack of light in the room. He usually always kept his lights on. A single bit of light was peeking in from the doorway behind me, my silhouette towering over Nathan. His back was turned to me. I noticed his lack of movement, only his shoulders moving up and down as he breathed softly. The blankets were pulled up to his neck, covering his entire body. Moving over to the window beside his bed, I yanked the blinds open, the sun shining through, blinding Nathan. "Rise and shine shithead." I joked, as he pulled the covers over his head, rolling over.

"Hey come on. It's almost noon. You missed our meeting with Gabriel. Said you've gotta lot of paperwork to do. Besides, Angie has been meaning to talk to you about something." I added, noticing he had no interest in getting out of bed. I leaned over, smacking his leg. "Yo. Sleepyface. Get your ass up man, time to roll."

Nathan stirred once more in his bed, mumbling something I couldn't make out. I smiled, sitting down on the bed beside him. "What was that Mumbles?" I asked, leaning over. Frowning, I placed a hand on the edge of the covers, pulling them off his face. "Hey. Hey you okay?" I asked. Once again, no response other than a mumble and slight shift under the blankets. "Feelin' sick or somethin'?" I bothered him once more, and he groaned. "Leave me alone..."

Scratching my nose, I adjusted my hat's position on my head. "Alright, you want me to bring ya back the paperwork? Get Angela to come over here?" I offered, but Nathan kept quiet. Shaking my head, I stood back up. "Ah whatever. It's your ass if you ain't get outta bed, not mine." Taking one last look at him, he offered nothing in response. I closed the door behind me, hoping he'd snap out of it.

I spent the rest of the day worrying about him, wondering if I'd see him walking around, having a drink, smoking, training, anything really. But no. He was a no show. My aim was off because of it. I suppose I'd gotten used to him chatting my ear off and having a bit of a competition with him. Mostly keeping to myself, I struggled to get anything done. Not that there was anything to do. Which made this even worse for me. I ended up giving into my own troubled thoughts, convincing Lena to keep an eye on him, and check in to make sure he was alright. Lena agreed, and I thanked her for it, assuming I'd owe her a few rounds. It's a fair trade. My conscience for a few glasses of liquor.

Once I figured I'd gotten enough training in for the day, I realized it was getting dark out, glancing at my clock and noticing it was nearly six in the afternoon. That should be plenty of time for Nathan to have perked himself up and got out of bed. Or at least for Lena to feel confident enough he was okay with out her monitoring him. But when I found Lena standing near the open doorway to his room, my heart dropped when I noticed her shake her head, shrugging. I scoffed, storming into his room, this time much more direct. "It's after six! You tryna set some sort of record?" I asked, gaining nothing in response. Nathan was in the same position I found him in this morning. It was as if he hadn't even moved at all. Just staring blankly at the wall in front of him.

Ripping a pillow from his bed, I flung it at him, all of my patience having been used up. "You're not still sleeping, so get the fuck up!" I ordered, and he grunted, shrugging a bit. "Leave me alone." He attempted to shoo me away. "Nate are you high? You take something?" I asked.

"You at least want me to get you somethin'? Ya still gotta eat." I responded, hoping he'd at least show me a sign as to what he wanted. This was because of his brother wasn't it? His family was gone and he didn't know how to deal with it. "Look just because your brothe-"

"JESUS CHRIST JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" He shouted, his voice echoing off the walls, taking me by surprise.

I stepped back, sighing, glancing at Lena. "The fucks wrong with 'im?" I asked, motioning with my head towards him. Lena shrugged, her signature grin now replaced with a worried frown. "I don't know. I can't get him out of bed." She replied, and I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. There was only one person I could go to about this. I placed my hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eyes. "Stay here. I'll be back."

Running through the hallways, I knocked on Angela's door to her office with an urgency unmatched. She quickly opened the door, her eyes meeting mine, as I offered her what little I could explain, catching my breath. "It's Nathan." I wheezed, and she nodded, seeming to understand everything she needed to know, shutting the door behind her.

As we hurried back to Nate's room, I couldn't help but worry about him. What the hell was going on with him? When we left Jane those years ago, he never acted like this. He just moved on. What made this time so different?

We arrived back at his room, and I allowed Angela to step inside, as she took a seat behind him, draping a hand on his shoulder, speaking to him in a soft and assuring tone. After a few minutes, I folded my arms, beginning to doubt her ability to get him out of bed. "You wanna get up? I could make you some food. Or I could get my shoes and we could go on a walk? How's that sound?" Angela asked, and I watched patiently, hoping she would have more success than I did. Lena met my eyes for a moment as we exchanged worried glances.

Angela stopped pestering him as I watched him shrug her off. She nodded, running a hand through his hair. She gave him a kiss on the cheek, before standing up from the bed. "Okay. Okay." She whispered, exiting the room and shutting the door behind her. Angela motioned for us to follow her, as she took a few steps away from the door so he couldn't overhear our conversation. "How long has he been like this?" She asked, and I sighed. "Since this morning." I answered, and she frowned.

"How was he before?" Angela continued, and I shook my head, searching through my memories, trying to keep my emotions from preventing me to answer her questions clearly. "Before he was fine, you saw him. He was dancing on tables, decorating his room, cracking fucking jokes, he kicks my ass every day I can't keep up with 'im." I explained, as Angela shook her head, turning to Lena.

"We should get a hold of the others. Gabriel and the others might know." She said, Lena nodding. My brows furrowed, as I grunted. "Know what? What the fucks wrong with him?" I demanded, and Angela clasped her hands together, releasing a nervous exhale before continuing. "Uh, depression I think." She said.

I grinned, shaking my head. They're fucking crazier than he is. Nathan isn't depressed. He doesn't get depressed. He's the happiest man I've ever met in my entire life. "What do you mean depressed? I mean we all get fucking depressed how could we not living around 'ere?"

"Not that kind of depressed." She replied, and I scoffed, becoming uneasy. "Look, I could be wrong, but it could be bipolar disease. That or possibly PTSD. The others might recognize the signs better than I can." Angela added, and my eyes widened. No. No he didn't have PTSD. He's been through worse. Fuck me.

"Bi-Bipolar? Wh-what the fuck is that?" I asked, and Lena placed a hand on my shoulder. "It's manic highs and depressive lows." Angela spoke softly, looking back at Nathan's door, as if worried he'd pop out wondering what we were doing. "It's like high highs followed by low lows over and over again. We can schedule a test for him tomorrow, see what it says." Lena advised, and I frowned. There didn't need to be any tests. Just cheer the man up.

"No. No he's fine. Look he's sad, we cheer him back up." I offered, and Angela scowled. "It's not like that. He may have to be hospitalized. If he has bipolar disease, he won't be able to work here any longer. And even though he won't be kicked out, Nathan won't be the same if he has PTSD."

"Wha-what do you mean hospitalized? L-like a psych ward?" I asked, turning to Lena and Angela. They both slowly nodded. I growled, hands clenching into fists. He's not getting sent away to some fucking hospital. He's not some nut job. He deserves better. After everything he's done for this organization they'd just ship him away like that? No. There's no way. Not on my watch. "NO WAY! No fucking way! He's staying here!" I refused their offer, pushing past them. Angela caught my wrist, holding me there.

"He could end up suicidal!" Angela spoke in a hushed whisper, trying to reason with me. I won't back down. I won't let my brother get sent away like that. "Then we hide the knives until he perks up!" I shouted, my eyes meeting theirs. My confidence began to give way, as I realized they might be right. I can't keep him safe from himself for this long. What if he hurts himself? It would be all my fault. I couldn't live with that. "I can-I can take care of him. Just le-let me take care of 'im till he's better." I stammered, struggling to explain how I felt.

Frustrated, Angela sighed, allowing Lena to speak. "It's not that simple luv. It can take weeks. There's moodswings. Okay, it's almost impossible to handle." I snapped at them both, jabbing my finger at them. "Don't fucking tell me what's impossible! We're taking care of him _here._ You. Me. Us." I walked by them. I paused outside Nathan's door, looking at both of them. "He's fucking family."

Sitting down, I ignited a cigar, trying to calm my thoroughly unsettled nerves, tapping my feet as I inhaled. He's fine. They just gotta let me take care of him. I'll sit out here all week if I have to. Angela whispered something to Lena, as Lena frowned, looking down in shame. When I noticed Angela stop speaking, I placed my foot down once more, as shaky as it was. Even I was uncertain about this. No. It didn't matter. He's not getting taken to some nut house. No. 'He'll be alright.' I assured myself. But was I really naive enough to believe myself when I said that?

"He's stayin' with us, you hear me? He stays here."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32: You Can't Fix Me

I didn't exactly know what they meant when they spoke to me about my mental health. Of course I wasn't exactly feeling too great, and my brother and family had been on my mind, but I thought I was doing a good thing. I was tired of them all worrying about me. I figured if I simply distanced myself from all of them it'd be alright. The thing is, I never thought my problem was worth troubling them with. I'd be alright eventually, I was just shaken up. Killing your own brother isn't something you can just forget I suppose.

But Angela had spoken to me yesterday, talked to me about my health, and how she and the others were worried about me. When she mentioned bipolar disease and PTSD I began to space out, staring off into nothing. Her words were drowned out as a ringing in my ears became worse and worse, as I then looked back at her. Something about her face seemed off, until I looked behind her to find my family dead on the floor. But the thing that bothered me the most was the fact that I didn't scream. I didn't even flinch when I felt the familiar bitter taste of the blood on my lips. Something held me back, as I focused my attention on my hand as it trembled, still holding the knife I used to destroy what was left of my family. The shattered remains of the mask my brother wore sat at the edge of my bed. Gunshots and screaming began to echo through my mind, as I stared at Angela as she mouthed words I couldn't understand.

And in a simple snap, I woke back up, the same dream haunting me once more tonight. Turning to my room, it was back to its original state. No bodies. No reminders of my failure. The sun shone through the blinds behind me, as I quickly shut them, drowning the blinding light out. I preferred the darkness. Running a hand through my long hair, I stood, not bothering to retrieve my hat from my nightstand. It didn't matter.

I walked through the mostly empty hallways, looking down at my feet as they led me to my destination. Sometimes I'd blink, and in a flash I'd be back in my old house, Jane lying dead at my feet. Other times, I'd feel fine, and try and brush it off. I'd start to feel a kick of energy, causing me to do drastic things, start decorating rooms that didn't require it, start joking around with others around me, even smiling. It seemed to only cause more stress to my friends as they struggled to fix me. But I didn't want that. I was tired of them only focusing on me. It wasn't helping.

The door opened without me realizing I even pushed it open, walking into Jack's office, strutting past his desk and paperwork without even greeting him. I pushed a few buttons on his personal coffee maker, figuring I needed to wake up. I tapped my fingers, waiting patiently. Frowning, I was used to Jack protesting when I used his coffee maker because mine was broken when I was in a...manic state as Angela said, but this time not a peep came from him. Turning, I met his eyes, and multiple others as they stared at me. I hadn't even noticed other people were in here. Jack sat in his desk, turning to me with a confused look on his face. Gabriel leaned against the wall behind him, arms crossed, frowning as always. Angela offered a light grin, and Jesse raised an eyebrow. Ana hid her amused grin at my actions. "Hey." I muttered.

When no one responded, I scoffed. "Yeah good to see you too." I turned back around, annoyed by their actions. Every time they saw me they never took their eyes off me, waiting for me to do some crazy stunt or flip out. I wasn't fucking insane, but they just might drive me into another "manic state" if they don't knock this shit off. I could hear a pin drop as I took a sip of my coffee, not bothering to pour any sugar or cream in it. Everything tasted like nothing anyways. "You know you can stop tiptoeing around me. I'm not some fucking bomb about to explode if you say something wrong."

"We know that. It's just-"

"Just what Jack? Just what?! I'm tired of you all beating around the bush. There's plenty of shit wrong with me! But I'm still me! I'm not some person who's entirely different! Now quit acting like I can't handle a few words! I know you were all probably talking about me. So go ahead. Get it over with."

A moment of silence overcame us after my outburst, as I inhaled deeply, trying to calm myself down. I finally got that out of my system. They acted like I couldn't even handle myself. I was still me, as much as they seemed to doubt that fact. "Nathan, we were speaking about what to do about your health. It's clear you need medical assistance, but we can't help you if you continue to refuse to allow us to get close. You require proper testing. It won't hurt. It won't take very long. I promise you." Angela spoke softly, and I sighed. "It won't work." I replied, and Jesse groaned. "We ain't gonna know that till we try! You have to at least give it a shot." Jesse encouraged, and I offered a weary smile, turning back to all of them. They all stared at me, desperate to cure me of my illness. But I didn't want that. I wanted things to go back to normal. Before Jane ever showed back up. Before the murders. Before I left. Before I became the hero of Numbani. Before I was granted all these responsibilities. What I would give to turn back time and redo the last year I've spent here. To take myself back to that rooftop with Angela all those nights ago, and fix my seemingly endless amount of mistakes.

"This isn't right." I said, shaking my head. "Can't we just go back to how things were? When you all weren't so worried about me. When I could walk around hallways freely without you all questioning what I was doing and where I was going. When I didn't need Jesse checking in on me every few hours to make sure I didn't hurt myself. When you all trusted me."

"We do trust you, child." Ana said, taking a step towards me. "But right now, you need to trust us as well. We're trying to help you. No one here wants to hurt you. We're all on your side Nathan. Just finish one test, that's all we need. We need to know how to help you, before things can go back to normal." Ana continued, and I frowned, meeting her worried eyes. "But you'll all look at me differently. You do now already. I can't ever make you all happy."

"What will make us happy is making sure we can properly medicate you and keep you safe. You've gotta understand that kid. This test is important. If Angela is right, and you have bipolar disease, we can't have you with us. You're a danger to both yourself and us if you go unchecked Nate. It's nothing personal. I can assure you we all would rather you be fine and forget this. But we can't." Gabriel explained, offering his own matter of fact point of view, not trying to sell me on the idea, but rather letting me know what was really going on. That was something I valued in his advice on certain issues. He never fails to say it like it is.

"And even if you only have PTSD, you must understand you aren't the same person. You've been through a lot, and no one judges you for it. If you need a break every now and then, and maybe Angela needs to give you therapy, then that's what we'll do. We're looking out for you, Nate, and I know you don't like special attention, but trust me, you need it." Jack informed me, as I clenched my hand into a fist. "Fuck me." I whispered to myself, going against my gut feeling.

"Alright. Alright you win. We'll find out what's wrong with me. Just promise me one thing. If I'm bipolar, and I can't work here, you'll at least come and see me once and a while." I said uneasily, regretting the words that came out of my mouth as soon as I spoke. Now they probably think I'm weak or something. Here comes the pity and sob stories...

"Nathan, trust me, after everything you've done for us, we won't forget you. You could visit anytime. You're family after all, Nathan." Angela grinned at me, and I returned a beaming smile. "Thanks." I felt my face heat up as I stared at those surrounding me. My family. They might be dysfunctional and odd, but they're my kind of dysfunctional and odd.

Before anyone could speak again, I stopped dead in my tracks, noticing footsteps approaching us from outside. My instincts kicked in, desperate to protect those I loved, as I snatched the gun from Jesse's holster, aiming it at the door. "Nathan! What the hell are you doing?!" Gabriel demanded, rushing to me. The others offered both confused and concerned looks. No. Someone was coming. Someone would hurt them. The only family I have left. I won't lose another family. Not again.

The door snapped open, a cheery smile and laugh greeting us as Lena jumped in excitedly. I quickly snapped to her head, visions filling my head with Talon agents and terrorists as I fired, watching as she barely zipped out of the way. The others yelled in terror. I shook my head, eyes meeting hers, her lip quivering in fear as she stared at me. Breathing heavily, I dropped the gun, looking around at the others. Angela gasped, covering her mouth with a hand. Jack, Gabriel, and Ana just stared at me in shock. Jesse looked frightened by me. My heart stopped for a moment. The gun was still smoking as Angela approached me, trying to reach out for me. I nearly killed Lena. If she hadn't...if she hadn't...oh I didn't even want to think about it.

I charged past a still terrified Lena, slamming the door shut behind me as I sprinted through the hallways, ignoring them as they called after me, wiping my tears.

* * *

Jesse's POV

We had spent hours upon hours searching for Nathan, worrying about what he was doing without us there to supervise him. I tried my best to forget what he did, but my mind kept flashing back to the look in his eyes. There was something truly wrong with him. I'd only ever seen him on edge like that during a mission. His mind must've flashed to all the situations he's been in before. A telltale sign of PTSD. I'm certain he would've killed Lena if she hadn't jumped out of the way.

Angela stayed with Lena to make sure she was alright, as the others and I turned the entire base upside down in an effort to find him. I was beginning to lose hope that he was even here anymore. He could've run away. He's done it before.

But I found him outside, his back turned to me, staring at the sun as it peeked back at him from behind the clouds. His hands were shaking, but the rest of him was completely still, as if he was contemplating what had just happened. I released a sigh of relief upon seeing him. At least he was still here. "The fuck you been?" I asked, and he didn't turn to meet my eyes, too ashamed to look at me. "Thinking." He responded quickly, voice cracking as he did so.

I was at a loss for words. I couldn't quite tell what I should say to him. "I didn't mean to do it." He said, and I nodded. "We know that. We all know that." I took a step towards him, trying to assure him as he stammered. "Is...is Lena alright?" He asked, turning to me, a single tear running down his cheek. I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah she's fine. A bit shaken up, but she's alright." I answered, and he nodded. "What have I done? I could've killed her."

"But you didn't! That's what matters! Look we all understand you ain't been feelin' yourself. We know you didn't try to-"

"You gonna make me take it?" He asked, meeting my eyes once more. "Take what?" I asked, offering a confused glare. "The test." He said, and I sighed. "You've got to. You're losing your shit Nate. We can help you." I offered, and he sniffed, wiping away the stray tear that ran down his cheek. "You guys still wanna be with me, even if I don't take it?" He asked yet another question, and I opened my mouth to answer, though realizing he probably knew already. We couldn't be around him if he's like this. He needs medication. Something to calm him down when he starts bouncing off the walls like he did earlier today.

He sighed, shaking his head, looking down in shame. "You guys say you love me. Yet you don't even know who I am." I watched him in silence as he turned around, shrugging. "Shit, if Angela's right I don't know who I am half the time either." He shook his head, offering me a weak and broken smile. "You guys don't owe me anything. I should just go before I do something else I'll regret."

"I love you Nathan." I interrupted him before he could finish that thought. Nathan offered an emotionless and blank stare in return. "What the hell does that even mean anymore?"

"It means we take care of each other." I answered, and he placed his hands in his pockets, taking multiple steps towards me. "I don't want you guys sitting around, watching...worrying about me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit the rest of my life." He admitted, choking up as tears threatened to come out once more. I placed my hand on his shoulder. "We're in this together. Thick and thin. Good times, bad, sickness, health...all that shit." I offered him a grin, and he scowled. "What we getting married? Gonna dress in some tuxedos, act like a couple of queens?"

"Fuck you man." I shoved him slightly, and he chuckled. "No thanks. Done enough of that in my life." As he turned around, placing a cigar in his mouth, I watched as he ignited it, taking a puff as the smoke began to rise into the air. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked, shaking my head as I realized how much he changed. What happened to Jane and the others completely destroyed him. As much as he tried to shrug it off, this all spawned from his feelings for that woman. He still loved her when she was ripped away from him.

"Too much! Too much is wrong with me!" He raised his hands to the sky, eyes meeting mine. "That's the problem isn't it?! How much of a burden I am! And there's nothing you can do to change that." He yelled, approaching me slowly, his voice beginning to soften. "You can't change it. You can't, Angela can't, Jack can't, no one can. You can't fix me. 'Cause I'm not broken, okay? I don't need to be fixed, okay I'm ME."

I did the only thing I could think of, pulling him into a tight embrace, placing my hand on his head. After a few seconds, I felt his arms gently wrap around my back. "I'm sorry Nathan. We just want to help you." I whispered, and I felt him shudder, as if shaking another one of his visions off. "I know. I appreciate it. I'm just..." We broke off, offering each other light grins. "It's just I'm scared I won't get to be with you all. I'm afraid you'll forget about me. That I'll fade into your memories until I'm nothing but a distant friend. I can't stand the thought of being away from you all. After all the times I ran away, snapped at you all, wished I could go back before this all started, only now do I realize how alone I am without you guys...I need you guys. You're family..." he trailed off, as I stepped beside him, placing my hand on his opposite shoulder, using it to pull him closer. "That won't happen. No matter what, you'll always be family. Now c'mon, let's get you inside." We walked side by side, as I assured both him and myself admittedly that this would all be okay. We'll be fine.

* * *

Nathan's POV

I had been sitting alone on a bench outside Angela's office for a while now, staring off into the distance, hoping against all odds I'd be okay. Luckily enough, my brain decided to be anxious rather than show me hallucinations of my family and flashbacks to that traumatic experience. I kept my hands in my lap, as if keeping track of them, struggling to make sure I stayed calm. But how could I? If I have bipolar disease, I won't get to work here anymore. Everything I've done will have been for nothing. The friendships I've made will slowly dissolve in front of me, until I'm left all by my lonesome. For some reason, nothing terrified me more than that thought.

Thinking about everything I've done, my mind couldn't help but flash to Lena and what happened between us today. No words needed to be said between us for me to understand what I just did. I nearly killed one of my best friends. She'll never truly forgive me for that, and that was probably the only thing I could be certain of anymore. I couldn't help but feel my hand beginning to shake once more, as I used my other hand to hold it steady. I'll be fine. I'll fix this. Somehow. I have to. My mind began to flash to the questions Angela asked throughout the test, as my answers repeated themselves over and over, as I began to doubt myself. "Do you have vivid memories of that day?" She asked. "Yes." I answered simply. "Have you ever been so energetic you feel like you're someone else?" She asked, and once again I answered sharply. "Yes." The way Angela wrote my answers down and would look at me curiously unnerved me the entire time. "Have you ever been so irritable you've yelled at others, without exactly knowing what upset you?" My mind had flashed to the countless times I yelled at her. I nodded my head in response, the words caught in my throat.

Tapping my foot, I awkwardly sat there, awaiting the answer that decided whether or not I could stay here. I couldn't help but feel uneasy. Not that I had ever particularly felt amazing as of late. And now, as I heard footsteps coming from around the corner, I felt even worse when my head snapped up in response, until I noticed who it was. Avoiding her gaze, I hung my head in shame when she saw me. Afraid to say anything, I expected her to continue walking. But much to my surprise, Lena sat down beside me, a few inches of space between us. I still refused to look at her. How could I even look her in the eyes after what I've done?

"Hey luv. How's the testing going?" She asked, as if nothing happened between us. "It's um...it's going fine, I suppose." I stumbled, fumbling with my words as they came out. "Good to hear. Mind if I wait with ya?" She asked, and I shook my head. "Be my guest." I replied, as she sighed, leaning back in her seat. I kept my mouth shut, unable to formulate a coherent sentence. "Nathan, you know I'm not mad at you right?"

"Wh-what? But I-" Lena quickly interrupted me before I could stammer any longer. "You worry too much. Look..." She paused, trying to find the right words. "It might've been scary, yeah, but I'm not mad at you. It's not your fault. You've been going through a lot, and just by how you're holding yourself around me shows how guilty you feel. I'm alright luv. I just came to check up on you. I want to see how my best friend is doing. I wanna be there when Angie tells ya you're gonna be okay." She giggled, as I offered her a light grin. "Thanks. I um, I appreciate everything you've been doing for me. I'll make it up to you, I promise." I promised her, and she chuckled. "You already have mate. I'm here for ya."

I smiled, grateful for her support. "But really," her tone shifted. "Are you okay?" She asked. I hesitated to answer. I couldn't fully answer it could I? Sometimes I felt fine. Sometimes I even felt great. But other times I felt like I was worthless and that I had failed those I loved. Offering a shaky nod, I frowned. "Ah...life's kinda...fucked up right now." I admitted, finding it impossible to lie to her. Lena smiled at me. "It's alright. We've all got demons luv. No matter what, I'm right beside you."

We both grinned at one another, as she slowly rested her head on my shoulder, closing her eyes. I tensed up, not entirely confident with what I should do. I still felt odd at times. I felt uneasy, timid. Like I was afraid she might shatter if I touched her. Sighing, I delicately rested my head on hers in return, snuggling closer, as I closed my eyes, and this time no nightmares bothered me in the darkness.

After a few minutes of peaceful silence, I heard the door beside us squeak as it opened. Sitting up, I felt Lena perk up slightly, ready to hear the news. My eyes scanned Angela's face as she held a paper in front of her, as I struggled to figure out what was wrong with me judging by her facial expressions. Wide eyed, I felt her rush into me when I stood up, hugging me tightly. "Eh? Wh-what's wrong?" I asked, confused why she was hugging me, hearing her sob softly. Lena snatched the paper from her hands, reading it. I watched her eyes, a sense of relief washing over me as they lit up. "You're alright luv! You're not bipolar!" She exclaimed, reading it once more as if to check if her eyes deceived her.

"You can stay with us. All you need is some medication for PTSD. Did ya hear that? You don't have to go anywhere!" Lena informed me, as I held Angela close, looking at her as she glanced up at me. "I was scared." Angela admitted. Before I could assure her, I felt Lena nearly tackle me to the ground, burying her face into my chest as she hugged me. "I was scared we'd lose you..." Lena trailed off, as I patted her back gently, ruffling her hair. For the first time today, I felt alive. I felt like my life had meaning again. I released a shaky breath, my mind, at least for now, at peace.

 **Greetings! Sorry if this one felt a little rushed or a few mistakes were in it. I've been up all last night and tonight working on it, the only thing keeping me going was caffeine and motivation to get this chapter out. I've decided, that with a heavy heart, I'm bringing this story to a close with one final chapter after this. It'll be my last time writing Nathan, and I'll have to say farewell to the story I've created, the most bittersweet and happy feeling an author can experience. Nathan had come so far, and I learned so much while writing his character. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. I'll miss him and his adventures dearly. I loved writing him so much I even made this spinoff story with over 30 chapters! I suppose I was just afraid to let go. But now, I feel like I've finished every character arc I wanted to, and adding anything else will simply feel cheap and unnecessary. The final chapter will contain the same emotions I'm feeling right now, and wrap up his time in Blackwatch. If you haven't already, I suggest finishing his story in Deadlocked after the last chapter.**

 **But with an ending, come new beginnings, as I've been working on a project for my next story, something that regrettably has nothing to do with Nathan Parker. An entirely new plot, character, and tone will be introduced in my next story. The main character is Logan Gallagher, an intelligent, gruff, nearly emotionless ex-SWAT specialist who was mutilated in an explosion five years ago. He was rebuilt by Talon, almost like Genji in a way, augmented and stripped of most things that made him human. But that all changes when his mind begins to flash back to his life before Talon brought him back to life, as he begins to question his place in the world, and wonder what truly happened, and what Moira and the others hide from him. His determination to find out what really caused the explosion, what happened to his fiancé, and who he truly is inside will cause a lot of trouble no doubt. Desperate to find his humanity, even working with those he's considered enemies his entire life, in a divided world with both omnic and human extremists attacking one another, he can't help but feel like the bridge between two peoples.**

 **Leave a review and let me know what you think of that idea. I thought it was original, and tackled some ideas rarely delved into in Overwatch's universe. It'll deal with omnic and human tensions, augmentations, corporations with seemingly more power than the government, what it means to be human, and tons, and tons of secrets hidden behind lies and falsehoods. It'll be quite the adventure, and I hope you guys'll give me some feedback and join me in the story. Thanks for everything! You're the best!**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33: To Build a Home

 **Welp, here it is. My final chapter with Nathan. What a wild ride huh? I'm truly at a loss for words. I can't describe the mix of emotions I feel rushing through me right now. I've held back tears, laughed, smiled, and rolled my eyes as I wrote this chapter. I'm gonna be honest, I spent most of my writing session listening to "Where is My Mind", ya know the Uncharted version? I thought it fit everything, and I could see in my head everything that's happened in both Deadlocked and this story going on, and it was beautiful. If you want to, I recommend listening to the song after reading this. It can help you imagine everything Nathan's been through. All I can say is, thank you. For everything. All the support. All the reviews, the favorites, the follows. It's hard for me to come to terms with, but it's truly the end for Nathan. And if you've read the ending to Deadlocked, I'm sure you understand how much I hate to see him go. But alas, my next story is coming up soon. Be on the lookout for it. I'm planning on titling it "The Bridge Between Two Peoples". Hopefully you're all looking forward to it as much as I am. If you wanna make sure you don't miss out, follow me, and it should update you when my next story is released. Or don't. I mean, it might not be for everyone. It's got more of a dark, blade runner kind of feel to it, not as colorful as Overwatch usually is. But in all seriousness, thank you, to each and every one of you. Even the ones who can't favorite or follow, and simply read, thank you for taking the time to read my story. This means a lot to me. Thank you.**

 **Sincerely,**

 **Can't Think Uva User**

* * *

I smiled as I stared off into the distance, drifting off into my own thoughts and the mess that was my mind. After a week of getting used to my new schedule, I've finally settled down, and everyone seems to be moving on from it. Although it's hard at times, and I still flash back to my brother and family often, I'm starting to get a handle on it, and can control my actions. Everything today had just seemed so...colorful, for a lack of a better word. Things weren't so bland as they were before. I began appreciating everything I still have in my life, despite what I've lost. And I began to remind myself to hold onto this, for as long as I can.

Noticing a familiar smile to my left, I turned, as Angela raised an eyebrow. "It's good to see you smile again. You've always looked your best when you're happy." I blushed a bit, meeting the doctor's blue eyes. "Yeah. I suppose I am happy." I muttered, mostly to myself. I hadn't even noticed I was smiling, figuring this was just all a dream. But Angela's touch as she placed a gentle hand on my shoulder assured me this was reality. "Are you happy?" I asked, curious.

Angela hummed to herself, removing the gloves she wore for my checkup, taking a few steps back as I shifted uncomfortably on the medical bed. "Well, I haven't ever taken the time to ask myself that." She admitted, and I frowned in return. "I've always focused on everyone else's wellbeing rather than my own. I barely take time off from work, and when I do I can't help but find myself worrying about the work I should be doing. It can be very hard."

Stopping, I found myself feeling guilty for everything I'd ever done to the woman, and all the times I've distracted her from her work. Once again, I was realizing how selfish I've been in my time here. But that's gonna change. I'm gonna fix all of this. As I pondered how to respond to her answer, Angela spoke up once more, taking a step towards me. "But then again, having you here shirtless with me isn't too bad." I heard her mutter, as I coughed, caught off guard by the remark. Looking down, I realized I didn't have a shirt on. I had spaced off so much I hadn't even noticed that I removed it for the checkup. I felt heat rise up to my cheeks once more, causing me to avoid her amused gaze. Finding my confidence and cocky demeanor once more, I stood up from the bed, taking a step closer to her. "You say that like it's all you even care about me for." I teased, watching as it was her turn to blush.

"Well it's not _all_ I care about." She retorted, and I smirked. "Really? Like?" I pushed once more, and she scoffed. "I see what you're trying to do here. You're not as charming as you think." Angela defended herself, as I laughed. "And what am I trying to do?"

"It's quite obvious that you're...you're-" She paused, her concerned frown meeting my eyes. "We can't do this. I-" Her words were caught in her throat, and my smile disappeared. "I know you still love Jane. Even though she's gone, I know you haven't moved on. And I refuse to do this. It'll just hurt you, and complicate things. I should simply control myself around you. I can't do this." Angela shook her head, and my mind flashed back to Jane's lifeless eyes upon hearing her name. I shuddered, feeling my hand tremble. Taking a deep breath, I calmed down, before pulling Angela into a hug.

"Hey. Never think like that. You're not just some way for me to move on. You're Dr. Angela Ziegler, the woman I've fallen for. You're never going to be something less than that. Even after everything we've been through, you've been by my side the entire time, through thick and thin. You're the reason I'm still alive. You're the reason I'm even here. I don't know much, but I do know that I love you. And I also know that's never going to change." I comforted her, hushing her as I hugged her tightly. "You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I don't know how this will end. I don't know what may happen to us. I may end up dying, or getting kicked out again for something stupid." I laughed to myself, sighing. "But I'm always gonna be along for the ride. No matter what happens, I'm not leaving. You guys are my family. I love you all. And it's been one hell of a ride hasn't it?" I smiled, looking down at her as she glanced up at me.

"It has indeed. And I can't wait for more." Angela replied, as I chuckled. "Good." We both grinned at one another, glad to be with each other. Angela was the only person I ever felt safe around. Like I could finally rest in her arms, and let all my troubles come tumbling down off my shoulders. It was like she understood everything I'd been through. And that only succeeded in pushing us closer together, and over this week of me getting used to my medication and therapy, I finally felt normal. Or at least as normal as someone like me could feel.

We released our hold on one another, as I gripped her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Happy now?" I asked, and she smiled. "Very." For a moment, our eyes were locked in an intense yet loving gaze, before our bodies came crashing together in a heated embrace, as I almost felt like I was unable to control my own movements. Colliding with the wall behind me, I grunted, hand running down to the small of her back, feeling her grab a fistful of my hair and pull me down to her lips. The familiar feeling of her touch was reassuring. Already having a good idea of where this was going, I reached a hand out behind me, fumbling with the handle to the door, before finally succeeding in locking it. I tripped over my own feet, causing us to both stumble, giggling as we did so, not bothering to worry about the world or paperwork around us, lost in each other's embrace as our hands roamed freely, exploring each other.

* * *

An hour later...

I walked through the mostly empty hallways, feeling both sore and at ease as I gently sat down on a bench, sighing. I smiled, supposing that was one form of therapy. But it wasn't just for the pleasure. Once again, she was a person it just felt right to be with. Like nothing could go wrong, just as long as I held her close. The woman meant so much to me, as much as I tried to deny it at times. Angela was everything I could ask for, both as a friend, and something more.

Not really planning on doing anything tonight, I simply closed my eyes, resting for a few moments. It was rare nowadays for me to get a break, between my work from my new responsibilities, Angela, and therapy for my PTSD, I was stretched pretty thin. It was even more uncommon for me to feel calm. Usually I'd wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, breathing heavily with my hand wrapped tightly my revolver on my nightstand. Or I wouldn't fall asleep, instead staring at the ceiling, my mind continuously flashing back to my dead family or my brother. Or other times, I'd have nightmares about my brother, dreaming about the times I spent with him. They'd always relate to the night we snuck out to smoke cigarettes, staring off into the night sky as we counted the stars, but they'd always end with me plunging my knife into his chest against my will. I was afraid to close my eyes, able to see his face on the back of my eyelids.

A light nudge sent me reeling, as I was caught off guard once more. My eyes opened, meeting a concerned Jesse. I relaxed, and he offered a light grin. "Sorry. Just noticed you were trembling. Figured I'd do ya a favor and wake you up." He apologized, and I frowned, having not even realized I was shaking. I suppose I've still got a bit to go until I've got a handle on this. I shook my head, clearing my throat. "No. No it's alright Jesse. Don't apologize." I muttered, and he nodded, taking a seat beside me.

"It's good to see you're doing better." He said, and I smiled. "Yeah. I appreciate everything you guys have been doing. I'm glad I can stay here." I replied, and Jesse chuckled. "I'm sure you are. Especially with all this one on one time with Angela behind closed doors." He teased, and I shook my head, concealing my blush. "It's not like that." I responded, and he raised an eyebrow. "Hm. Doesn't explain why your shirts on inside-out." He pointed, and I immediately looked down, prepared to put my shirt back on properly. "Shit really?!" I exclaimed, much to his amusement as he laughed, slapping his knee as he did so.

"No..." he said between his hysterical laughter, struggling to breath, face turning red. "But you looked...so I got my answer." He finished, and I scowled, though unable to prevent myself from chuckling. "Alright alright you got me." I held my hands up in defeat, smiling at him.

"Hey, I know it's been a while, so I was wondering if you'd wanna hang out with Lena and I at the bar, ya know... like ol' times." He offered, and I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I don't know Jesse. Angela's been telling me to lay off the drinks, and I might not be the best of drinking partners for a while. My head isn't exactly screwed on just right." I admitted, and he scoffed. "Oh like that's anything new. Come on, it'll be fun. Besides, Angie ain't gotta know." Jesse flashed me a familiar mischievous smirk, and I couldn't help but chuckle. "Nah, I'm good man. Sorry." I answered, causing him to frown. "Aww don't be like that." He drawled, playfully punching my shoulder. "I got somethin' special for ya. Please, just a few hours. Besides, what better things do you have to do?"

My mind immediately thought of the training that I should catch up on, or how much i needed to clean my room. But then again, did I really wanna spend my night doing all that? After releasing a sigh, both disappointed in Jesse and myself for allowing him to bait me into this so easily, I gave him a light grin. "Alright. We'll go, but you owe me for this." I muttered, standing as I began to follow him through the hallways. Jesse chuckled, adjusting his hat. "That so?" I nodded in response, and he raised an eyebrow at me, though staying silent.

We were quiet upon nearing the bar, until Jesse smirked at me. I ignored his actions, though curious as to what made him so amused. Opening the door, I was surprised to see my family there. The ones I had left. For a moment, I simply stared, watching as they all spoke with one another, drinking. Jesse patted me on the back gently. "Welcome home Nate." He walked by me, joining the others as he left me to my thoughts. I couldn't help but smile at all of them. Lena was busy challenging Genji to a race, which he laughed at. Jack and Gabriel were chatting about something, the rare sight of them both getting along shocking me. Reinhardt was laughing at some joke Ana and Torbjorn cracked, his large hands slamming into the table as it shook under his strength and weight. Jesse was pouring himself a drink, when I walked up to him and the others as they all smiled brightly at my arrival. "Ah, Nathan! Glad you could join us! Come on, sit down!" Jack exclaimed, his greeting still somehow coming off as an order.

Doing as Jack said, I took a seat beside Jesse and Ana, thanking Genji as he handed me an empty shot glass. "We've all been patiently awaiting your arrival before we can drink. Except for Torbjorn here." Ana smiled as she nudged him, nearly knocking the smaller man off his stool. "Aww, cut me some slack!" Torbjorn retorted, as I grinned.

"So, what are we drinking?" I asked, as Jesse piped in. "We all had a vote, and although some of us are disappointed," he said, clearly one of those who weren't satisfied with the outcome. "We're going to be drinking vodka." He answered, and I groaned. "Ah that's bullshit! Reinhardt downs that shit like it's water!" I refused, and the large man laughed in response. "What can I say? I've built up quite the tolerance!" Reinhardt boasted, as I turned to Jack and Gabe. "You guys are okay with this?" I asked, and Jack shrugged. Gabriel smirked. "It's not so bad after three shots."

"We're playin' never have I ever. Someone states something they've never done, and if you have, you take a shot. We each take turns saying what we haven't done, an' the last person standin' wins!" Lena explained, clearly as excited as ever. I nodded. "Sounds simple enough. What are we betting?" I asked, assuming something was at stake. "Our dignity." Genji muttered, as we all laughed. "Jack, you're up first!" Jesse hollered, as we all began to fill our glasses.

"Okay. Never have I ever..." he trailed off, clearly searching for something good in his arsenal right out the gates. "...passed out from drinking too much." He finished, and I growled, immediately taking a shot, cringing as the vodka burned it's way down my throat. Jesse, Torbjorn, and Genji also took a shot. "Well that's a good start." I sighed, as Gabriel spoke up since it was his turn.

"Never have I ever...jumped out of a lover's window." Gabriel stated, as I groaned, taking another shot. Genji, Lena, Jesse, and Jack took a drink. Ana frowned, glancing at Genji. "We're learning more and more about you." She smiled, as he released an uneasy laugh. "I used to be quite the playboy back in Japan." Genji replied. Reinhardt smiled from ear to ear, as I realized it was his turn. "Never have I ever..." he began.

"Broken a bone." Reinhardt finished, and I took the third shot in a row, starting to feel the effects. Everyone else took a drink as well, as Lena scoffed. "You've gotta be kidding me!" She exclaimed, and Reinhardt guffawed. "Too strong!" He yelled confidently, and I shook my head, trying to clear my vision. Ana looked at all of us, as if trying to find our weakness. "Never have I ever sang karaoke."

Once more, I took a drink. "You guys are just trying to destroy my liver aren't you?" I asked, as Jesse finished his shot, wincing. "Ah well, at least we can know we've lived a full life." He offered me a grin, and I sighed. "I regret ever singing karaoke." I muttered, struggling to clear my thoughts as I began to wonder what I would say since it was my turn. Smirking at everyone, an idea popped into my head. "Never have I ever played this game!"

I watched in amusement as everyone around me groaned as they took a shot. "Finally, I don't have to take a drink."

"You will soon." Jesse challenged, as he turned to me specifically, smiling. I prepared myself for his statement, determined to win this game.

'This is going to be a long night.' I thought.

* * *

A few hours later...

"It's such a good vibratiooooon!" Jesse sang, tapping his feet to the rhythm of the familiar tune. I couldn't help but laugh as I watched him dance along the table, kicking his feet out in a hilarious fashion. The others and I laughed as he continued to dance, and I reminisced about the times we spent listening to this song back in Deadlock. My grandmother had introduced me to the song, and as much as I lied, I sort of had a soft spot for the song, though mostly because of nostalgia. We used to listen to the song on the old radios and stereos. "It's such a sweeeeet sensation!" I blurted out without telling myself to, joining in on his sudden karaoke session.

Since it was so late, and we were all so hammered we couldn't help but giggle and join in. We had spent hours playing games, laughing, telling stories, and having a genuinely good time. I could barely walk straight, so I preferred to lean against the wall behind me, watching as everyone either danced or laughed. It was good to see everyone unwind like this and get together. After everything we've all been through together, I couldn't help but feel a tear threaten to be shed. Perhaps I was just so drunk I was becoming needlessly emotional. Sighing, I watched as the only family I had left enjoyed themselves and the company surrounding them.

Stumbling out the doors, I slipped away from them all unnoticed, wandering the bright, sterile and empty hallways until I found myself once again outside, staring at the rocks as the waves of the ocean crashed against them, relaxing me. I stood there, hands in my pockets, unable to figure out what made me feel so confused. I was supposed to feel happy. The rain clouds were supposed to dissolve into nothingness. But they were still there, the same pressure on my shoulders weighing me down as I stared blankly at the night sky. I didn't cry. I didn't laugh. I didn't smile. I simply stood there, not a clue as to what I was feeling.

I should be back inside with the others, spending time with the family I still have left. I promised myself I'd never lose my family like I did Jane, Ian, and Karen. I promised myself I was better than that. But here I was, distancing myself from everyone, believing that if I did so it wouldn't hurt as much to lose them. We were in Overwatch. It's a miracle all of us are still in one piece. After all the crazy shit I've done, any other man would be dead. Train hopping, running with the Deadlock Gang, fighting back against terrorists, holding off an entire army of Talon agents, fighting Doomfist in hand to hand combat, surviving countless explosions and firefights. I had to be the luckiest man alive.

"Didn't expect to see you out here." I heard Angela's voice once more today, as I barely moved. "Didn't expect you to find me." I replied, and I heard her take multiple steps towards me until she was to my right. "What're you doing out here? The others told me they hadn't noticed you leave. Not having a good time?" She asked, and I shook my head. "No. No I was having a great time. It's just...it's all too much. I'm just scared I guess." I admitted, trying to find the words to describe my feelings. Angela frowned, placing her hand on mine. "What about?"

"I...I-I don't exactly know." I stammered. "I just felt overwhelmed. I felt like we were a family again. I guess I just couldn't quite handle it...after everything with Jane and...Ian...an-" I struggled to speak, as Angela hushed me, pulling me closer. "Hey, it's alright. It wasn't your fault." She reminded me, and I sighed, trying to shake the visions of them lying dead in front of me. "I just don't want to lose you all. You all mean so much to me. I just don't want to let what happened before happen again. You guys are the only real family I have left." I explained, trying to keep my mind from wandering into unwanted territories about my parents, my brother, Jane...

Turning to her, I placed my hands in hers, staring into her deep blue eyes. "I'm in love with you. I know I've said it before but...but I really truly am. And I don't know what to do about that. It scares me. I just can't help but feel petrified that I may lose you. And I know love is just a shout in the dark, and that all of this is meaningless and that we'll all die eventually, and that I'll probably end up getting killed in some gruesome fashion before this all ends, but I wanted you to know that. If I could find some way t-to reverse time, or-or go back and fix my mistakes I would! Look just...just tell me what to do! I don't know what to do to make this feeling go away and I'm-"

Angela planted her lips onto mine, pulling me down to her height, my words being consumed. When she pulled back, I was for once at a loss for words. "You talk too much Nathan." She smiled up at me, and I smiled back at her, hugging her tightly. "You don't have to be scared. We're all here for you."

"Hell yeah we are!" I heard Jesse call out, as we both turned to see him and the others smiling at us. I hadn't noticed any of them approaching during my rant, as Jesse offered me a smirk. Lena smiled, flashing her signature two finger salute. Genji nodded at me. Reinhardt, Torbjorn, Gabriel, Ana, and Jack all grinned at me. "Oh tell me you guys didn't hear that." I begged, trying to conceal the tears in my eyes. "Only heard the end, but I'm willing to bet Angela spoke for all of us. You can count on us, child." Ana admitted, and I laughed, wiping a tear away. "We've got your back kiddo. Til the end." Gabriel assured me, and I couldn't tell if he said that because he meant that, or he was just extremely drunk. Angela gave my hand a squeeze, smiling at me.

I looked at all of them, a smile forming on my lips as I looked at all of them. Every single one of them was someone special to me. They all helped me in their own ways. They offered support, saved my life, gave me advice, laughed and cried alongside me, and most of all, they took me in. I could remember everything as it flashed through my mind. Both the good and the bad. Jesse and I first meeting. Getting captured. Gabriel both training me and kicking my ass. First time meeting Angela. Training Lena. My first mission. Getting drunk with everyone for the first time. Genji and I sparring. Ana teaching me to shoot. My mission in the ballroom. The night on the rooftop with Angela. My competition with Jack. The event on the anniversary of Overwatch's creation. Reinhardt saving my life. The suicide mission in Numbani. Angela saving my life after my fight with Doomfist. Returning back to Blackwatch. Train hopping and saving the others from drowning. Fareeha and I spending time together on the pursuit of happiness. My reinstatement. Learning I had PTSD. Slowly figuring out I had built a home here at base, and they were all my family.

Overwhelmed with emotions, I offered them all one smile, a single tear rolling down my cheek. This was where I belonged. This was my family.

"Well...What can I say? You guys...are the best."


End file.
